2012 re-authorization, Male VAWA, children VAWA

[SingleDad2usc 71]

charles! said:

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you can start one if you'd like - do keep your posts strictly on the topic of vawa.

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So with this blessing of the Moderator, and with VAWA-reauthorization coming in 2012, this thread is about:

1. VAWA purpose

2. potential changes in 2012 VAWA

3. male VAWA

4. children VAWA

5. degree of abuse/neglect (physical, mental, verbal)

6. time filing qualification, Offender status qualification

Emphasis: VAWA is complex humanitarian issue, often decided on case-by-case detail. Filing should be done thru qualified attorney. Purpose here is to prepare any potential Petitioner (OP included) before engaging an attorney. An educated client has advantage of presenting an attorney with most relevant facts and an organized CASE FILE. In my experience, attorney's are short of time. I've won a neglect case, utilizing court-provided attorney. I've won five other Judge's orders, self-represented. I've never petitioned on Federal matters, such as immigration.

I will list below (preliminary) bullets of my case. Kindly always ask for clarification as needed, before advising (both in reference of OP case, or any future-posted case):

VAWA’s purpose is important: I've always felt uneasy about fitting in. Men, subconsciously, do not rally a defense like VAWA. For a man, this process is a demeaning recognition of his failure (in own marriage, where he should be…the man).

Some detail below is graphic – but we’re all age of majority here, and should understand.

So this was 2002, third year of our generally happy married life together. There were a few trying moments: wife’s PPD after 2001 birth put her on prescription Prozac. Under its influence or otherwise, she couldn’t handle our colicky daughter. The baby wouldn’t let put herself down, or let me sit down – I had to take perpetual walks around the city with her in lap (to this day, 11 years later, she finds comfort when she puts her head near familiar heart-beat). On 9/11 that saved my life: I was late for the meeting, and my partner escorted a client up to “Windows on the World” for breakfast. When I finally managed to leave house and emerge from subway, both towers were already on fire…

9/11 effected people’s minds in many ways…Eventually, despite my wife’s semi-flake on first baby, we’ve both decided to try for a son. There are a dozen easy routines for a couple prior to conception, which scientifically speed sperm’s travel time at ovulation and raise odds of the Y-chromo hit (can be Googled). So we did hit success. What worried me: my wife wouldn’t come off Prozac. Her depression was due to seeming eternity following her Political Asylum interview: the officer in 2001 just said to wait for mail…In 2002, she appealed to officer that she’s in the middle of her second pregnancy – and that without a YES or a NO, she feels totally helpless. What do you know: her Asylum Granted (decision dated a month earlier!) envelope arrives right on Xmas, just as our son is born. And there the troubles begin:

1. Within days: she stops breast feeding. There are Birth defects: coronary, pulmonary, developmental, sensory – everything LATER sourced to pregnancy Prozac use. Within weeks, the newborn is re-admitted into NeoNatal ICU with failure to thrive. Pediatric head reports Maternal Neglect to ACS. After 60-day investigation, report is found "indicated"

2. With baby out of the house - she is now trying to get the husband out, so she can have unlimited freedom (“to play”, she implies). She makes 911 calls, which she can't substantiate when police come. In course of their next arrival, police are close to arresting her for making false calls. Cornered by them, she claims Domestic Violence. While taking me to precinct, police confide that they don't believe her - but taking me in anyway, to show me that these calls can't continue: that I should be getting her psychiatric help or "write off this marriage"; after all, "you appear an intelligent man; so admit sooner or later that you must choose between the wife and the children"

3. An Order of Protection against me is issued, but now she goes to Precinct asking to cancel it - as "husband did nothing wrong, I just flipped out; and now I can't take care of our daughter with husband barred from the house". Police call ACS who send homemaking "para" in - but mother doesn't let homemaker into the house.

4. ACS removes children, has mother sign-off temporary custody, while she enters clinic to try and improve "her condition".

5. I come back to the house, as there is no more Order of Protection - but she insists on exiting clinic with a cane (not 100% steady after medication). She walks into the house - and immediately says that she'd made a date, and I should go back to where I sheltered previous nights, and come back tomorrow. I said no, NO MORE of this. So she calls the precinct again and makes sure that the previous cops are not on duty tonite - before calling 911. Response to this 911 takes ages; it irritates her and she insists I must leave immediately as “her clock is ticking”. She throws all my awards from the walls, shelves to the floor, about to start breaking glass. I get between her and the glass - and she starts hitting me hard with a cane. The majority of bruises land on my arms and legs, as I protect all vital parts. Police finally arrive, true to her guess that they were in no hurry to answer yet another of her 911’s - as she’d admitted faking for the Order of Protection, playing around and just trying to get rid of everyone in the house. "We see the real victim here, with substantial physical evidence". She’s charged with "Assault 2".

6. I agree to testify; but I ask prosecutor if there is a way to move her case from criminal to mental hygiene. After all: jail will not help - but she does need Court's medical help, if she is ever allowed near children. They move case to MD1. She begs to give her a chance “for children’s sake” and comes back to the house, despite the Order of Protection against her – she woes to be loyal to the entire family, says she’s learned over her grave mistakes, and will not repeat. She seems to overcome her PPD, and children are returned to the house. ACS emphasize now that they rely on my extra effort to ensure that everything is safe. I summon my mom (olderly) to move in temporary and assist during my absent times.

7. I often find bruises, as she admits to snap when children soil clothes or house. Still, I can't be in the house 100% of the time. During my biz out of town, she tells my mom she's going out on a date. Grandma could handle a baby by herself, but not two. Wife calls 911 and is taken to precinct with children. There, she regrets her call (date-time expired??) - but now ACS places children in foster care, blaming me for going "out of town" and just “leaving the two women behind”.

8. So children are removed by ACS, and she calls the police to remove my mother as well. Police say they don’t want any trouble, and as Grandma’s address is not here – she must leave for the night. Next morning, Grandma is granted limited Order of Protection from my wife by Family Court. Sadly, this was one of last times I saw my mom...

9. Wife pleads guilty to assault2 in MD1 in exchange for 12-month outpatient treatment, and that case will be sealed if complied. She gets discharge 13 months later, mid-2004. By that time, children are discharged on Court order into my care. She never inquires... However,

10. OCSE serves her. On 2006 date/time of her scheduled appearance, as I take witness seat for Social Services - she's on the speaker, faking US 10y ban. No one is holding proof-in-hand that she's not at the foreign location she specifies, and Child Support case gets dismissed!!

11. I file for Order of Protection and TCS in my County Court, swearing to what I know about her stunt at Support Court. But she proves illusive to any future Service; she changed not only her address, but likely Name and SSN as well

12. Over the years following, calls came in from blocked numbers with threats by her voice and by male voices: if I ever disclose her 2006 fraud upon the Support Court, it will result in dire occurrence for either me or the children, and "I will not specify which". My calculation is that she was eligible (and became) LPR 2006-2007.

13. I come across her very brutal total-body photos on the internet (I kept print-outs) - which show the danger of the violent circles she's now involved with, in graphic detail.

14. In 2010-2011, I receive letters from city-wide pro-bono Lawyer Network that they can't take me on as a client, due to adversarial conflict. I can hazard only one guess: that she'd been their client on Citizenship process.

So VAWA issues:

1. Perpetrator’s last physical actions took place in 2003, when she only had “Asylum Granted” status. She was found guilty of Assault in Second Degree on Petitioner spouse, who’d entered the US legally (upon passport inspection, and not requiring a visitor visa), but subsequently OVERSTAYED due to Family’s complicated circumstances, wife’s psychiatric treatment, care for children born in US, ACS supervision, Court dates, etc. Petitioner did help prosecution resulting in 2003 conviction.

2. Perpetrator was also found “indicated” on at least two ACS investigations of abuse/neglect of two US born children, during same time of Perpetrator’s “Asylum Granted” legal status.

3. Orders of Protection against Perpetrator were granted on separate petitions in 2003-2004 to Petitioner, his mother and his children.

4. When Perpetrator was already LPR, she committed only verbal acts of mental spousal/child abuse. Given preceding legal record and more current graphic internet pictures, those verbal threats to Petitioner and Children in current years appeared credible and serious. It could be feared, that were Petitioner NOT SUCCUMB to threats to halt any Child Support proceedings, that Petitioner and/or Children would indeed be physically attacked. New Order of Protection against Perpetrator could not be obtained, as her whereabouts (for service) were unknown since 2006.

5. Perpetrator committed Fraud in 2006 Support Court. That act placed Petitioner and Petitioner’s children into double-jeopardy that continues today: 1) Child Support has never been paid; 2) Petitioner was told by Perpetrator, that she “would walk over corpses to avoid going to jail on the buried 2006 secret”

So is there a possibility of

1. prima facie,

2. adjudication

In case of defeat of 1. or 2., are there near-100% C-o-R grounds? Might 2012 VAWA re-authorization contain changes applicable to this case?

[amberlynnloves 125]

Much better and informative post than last. Thank you.

Now, how did you originally enter the US many years ago?

What was your status outside the country?

What is your citizenship?

And secondly and I'm sorry I don't remember from your original post, but are there any other pro-bono attorneys in your area? You live in NYC, there should be. Have you checked with them on their services? I think (and please correct me if I'm wrong) you may be under the assumption that if you get an attorney they will turn you into Immigration? Thats not the case. Seeing as how you are trying to do things correctly they WILL assist you providing she has never been client before. SOME attorneys also work out a payment plan as I do remember your financial situation.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

1. Entered by land Dec 2000, showing Canada Passport. No visa was required.

2. Marriage Certificate of 2000 in E.European language; also NY Judge issued me order in 2005 confirming that we were married in that particular country in 2000. Purpose of that order was: proof that I'm the father of children born in US in 2001 and 2002. Statistically, 15% of children within marriage are not of father's blood (not known to others, including Husband). But Husband is deemed legal father.

3. naturalized Canada Citizen decades ago. Not resided in Canada for decades. Continuos presence in US over 11 years, always in complience with local/state directives, community awards, clean record.

Much better and informative post than last. Thank you.

Now, how did you originally enter the US many years ago?

What was your status outside the country?

What is your citizenship?

And secondly and I'm sorry I don't remember from your original post, but are there any other pro-bono attorneys in your area? You live in NYC, there should be. Have you checked with them on their services? I think (and please correct me if I'm wrong) you may be under the assumption that if you get an attorney they will turn you into Immigration? Thats not the case. Seeing as how you are trying to do things correctly they WILL assist you providing she has never been client before. SOME attorneys also work out a payment plan as I do remember your financial situation.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Your wife wasn't a green card holder or US Citizen when the violence took place then we can't talk about Vawa in your case based as battered spouse. Who is victim of a crime and willing to help the prosecutor can file for U visa but once again is not your case. I read your post before and let me tell you Vawa as a battered spouse won't help you because your ex wife wasn't even a green card holder in that time. I handled more than 6.000 Vawa cases in the past 10 years and I know what I am talking about. You have a child with some health problems then Uscis may allow you to stay based in harship if you will able to prove your child won't get the same kind of medical treatment he is getting here or if moving the child to your home Country his medical condition will deteriorate. We have some cases that the Uscis approved the green card based in hardship. Find a good lawyer to handle your case.

[amberlynnloves 125]

1. Entered by land Dec 2000, showing Canada Passport. No visa was required.

2. Marriage Certificate of 2000 in E.European language; also NY Judge issued me order in 2005 confirming that we were married in that particular country in 2000. Purpose of that order was: proof that I'm the father of children born in US in 2001 and 2002. Statistically, 15% of children within marriage are not of father's blood (not known to others, including Husband). But Husband is deemed legal father.

3. naturalized Canada Citizen decades ago. Not resided in Canada for decades. Continuos presence in US over 11 years, always in complience with local/state directives, community awards, clean record.

The only thing I could think of outside of VAWA is playing the green card lottery. I understand your theory and mindset here. I do. Should be easy. Your kids are USC, which should help you get citizenship. And it would, if they were over 21. You can apply for green card lottery. But I still really truly think you should seek legal advice from a lawyer. I'm sorry I know thats not much help, but you have limited options. Also, marrying a USC would prove to work as well. You have limited time and limited options.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

thanks for your quick opinion; 6000 is a lot of cases!

kindly address each question below (when u have time), so it doesn't look later like I'm asking same questions of same person. r u duly considering:

4. When Perpetrator was already LPR, she committed only verbal acts of mental spousal/child abuse. Given preceding legal record and more current graphic internet pictures, those verbal threats to Petitioner and Children in current years appeared credible and serious. It could be feared, that were Petitioner NOT SUCCUMB to threats to halt any Child Support proceedings, that Petitioner and/or Children would indeed be physically attacked. New Order of Protection against Perpetrator could not be obtained, as her whereabouts (for service) were unknown since 2006.

5. Perpetrator committed Fraud in 2006 Support Court. That act placed Petitioner and Petitioner’s children into double-jeopardy that continues today: 1) Child Support has never been paid; 2) Petitioner was told by Perpetrator, that she “would walk over corpses to avoid going to jail on the buried 2006 secret”

So is there a possibility of

1. prima facie,

2. adjudication

Might here be relevant changes in 2012 VAWA (e.g. "extreme" is removed from the language, time relaxation or many-many other)?

Might there be difference in the way East Coast officers/judges would view the case? (I know the Laws are federal. But you have thousands of instances where enforcement differs for West Coast - is that where your 6000 cases were?)

Your wife wasn't a green card holder or US Citizen when the violence took place then we can't talk about Vawa in your case based as battered spouse. Who is victim of a crime and willing to help the prosecutor can file for U visa but once again is not your case. I read your post before and let me tell you Vawa as a battered spouse won't help you because your ex wife wasn't even a green card holder in that time. I handled more than 6.000 Vawa cases in the past 10 years and I know what I am talking about. You have a child with some health problems then Uscis may allow you to stay based in harship if you will able to prove your child won't get the same kind of medical treatment he is getting here or if moving the child to your home Country his medical condition will deteriorate. We have some cases that the Uscis approved the green card based in hardship. Find a good lawyer to handle your case.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

We'll do our best and keep this topic to VAWA only. The only welcomed collateral discussion: if VAWA adjudication, or even VAWA prima facie is denied - will C-o-R become possible, and how soon following initial denial?

The only thing I could think of outside of VAWA is playing the green card lottery. I understand your theory and mindset here. I do. Should be easy. Your kids are USC, which should help you get citizenship. And it would, if they were over 21. You can apply for green card lottery. But I still really truly think you should seek legal advice from a lawyer. I'm sorry I know thats not much help, but you have limited options. Also, marrying a USC would prove to work as well. You have limited time and limited options.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Here is my VAWA "offence" assessment, thus far: if sandranj and someone else (who will comment on all details thoroughly) convince me that there is not NOT enough to apply VAWA with proofs to date - I will consider next step in FAMILY COURT (where I have considerable record of success). If next verbal threat takes place - I will immediately file in Family Court for Order of Protection. It will be a difficult and long haul, but I'm pretty sure that after a number of adjornments and failure to serve the Respondent every time - the Judge may allow to "mail and nail" at last known address. Then eventually, an Inquest may take place. I will summonse all witnesses, including child protective and preventive agencies - and let the Judge decide whether family offences have recently been committed by Respondent. In the outcome that I and/or children receive current Order of Protection - will it change your mind on VAWA application?

[amberlynnloves 125]

Here is my VAWA "offence" assessment, thus far: if sandranj and someone else (who will comment on all details thoroughly) convince me that there is not NOT enough to apply VAWA with proofs to date - I will consider next step in FAMILY COURT (where I have considerable record of success). If next verbal threat takes place - I will immediately file in Family Court for Order of Protection. It will be a difficult and long haul, but I'm pretty sure that after a number of adjornments and failure to serve the Respondent every time - the Judge may allow to "mail and nail" at last known address. Then eventually, an Inquest may take place. I will summonse all witnesses, including child protective and preventive agencies - and let the Judge decide whether family offences have recently been committed by Respondent. In the outcome that I and/or children receive current Order of Protection - will it change your mind on VAWA application?

You may want to read up on this information and see if this helps give you any indication.

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=5a870c100c475210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=68439c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD

This might also help

http://www.aila.org/content/default.aspx?docid=32374

Edited July 11, 2012 by amberlynnloves

[decocker 7,198]

Here is my VAWA "offence" assessment, thus far: if sandranj and someone else (who will comment on all details thoroughly) convince me that there is not NOT enough to apply VAWA with proofs to date - I will consider next step in FAMILY COURT (where I have considerable record of success). If next verbal threat takes place - I will immediately file in Family Court for Order of Protection. It will be a difficult and long haul, but I'm pretty sure that after a number of adjornments and failure to serve the Respondent every time - the Judge may allow to "mail and nail" at last known address. Then eventually, an Inquest may take place. I will summonse all witnesses, including child protective and preventive agencies - and let the Judge decide whether family offences have recently been committed by Respondent. In the outcome that I and/or children receive current Order of Protection - will it change your mind on VAWA application?

^{sandranj knows what she is talking about. if you even have a one percent chance of staying here legally, you'll HAVE TO USE A VERY GOOD LAWYER.}

and you're talking about if someone can convince you, you'll go through family court? what in the world does that have to do with your legal status? the "abuse" is over - she is no longer a threat. YOU are the threat to your kid's well being by refusing to accept that you could be deported at anytime. family court isn't going to have any say in the matter. you are reaching for straws here and it really shows...

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I'm sure Sandra knows. What you just said re: Family Court's Order of Protection is incorrect. Order of Protection is a very important element of VAWA application. Please do not discuss anything in this topic except VAWA.

amberlynnloves, thanx for links. I will start to study them (a lot of reading). I wonder how much 2012 re-authorized VAWA may change the content, but must study them in the meantime

^{sandranj knows what she is talking about. if you even have a one percent chance of staying here legally, you'll HAVE TO USE A VERY GOOD LAWYER.}

and you're talking about if someone can convince you, you'll go through family court? what in the world does that have to do with your legal status? the "abuse" is over - she is no longer a threat. YOU are the threat to your kid's well being by refusing to accept that you could be deported at anytime. family court isn't going to have any say in the matter. you are reaching for straws here and it really shows...

[decocker 7,198]

I'm sure Sandra knows. What you just said re: Family Court's Order of Protection is incorrect. Order of Protection is a very important element of VAWA application. Please do not discuss anything in this topic except VAWA.

I am talking about VAWA. There isn't a current order of protection in place because no one has been able to find her since 2006. Correct? SIX YEARS AGO you had an order of protection. the order of protection is meant to keep her away from you - and from what you've said, she has stayed away! how is her exploiting herself online abuse? how is "fraud" that has never resulted in any sort of charge or conviction or even an investigation - going to prove you've been abused? it only proves she committed fraud.

i am an extremely liberal person. i don't agree with deportation and separating families - pretty much ever. but i think if you did a little investigation, you'd find that there are plenty of good, loving parents that have been deported and taken away from their families. i have two nieces who will not be able to see their father again until they either win a lottery ticket to pay for plane tickets (when they get old enough - they are 3 & 5) or turn 21 to petition for him. he was deported to cambodia last year. he had only lived in cambodia until he was six months old. he was brought to the US by his family and eventually fell out of status. in his early thirties he had his girls and was with their mother. shortly after the second daughter's birth - their mother decided she'd rather party and drink than care for the kids - so he did everything, provided everything. cops were called plenty of times to their house as she would come home drunk and throw things at him, trying to get him to hit her. she knew that he could get deported and he had to find a way to get legal. in an effort to somehow get legal, he took some bad advice from a friend he turned himself in for a minor drug conviction from when he was 19, to try and make sure he wouldn't be taken away from his children. guess what? even though he had raised those girls for the most part - by himself - from birth to four years..he was deported. they are now in custody of their mother, who recently (june) got two d.u.i's WITH THE GIRLS IN THE CAR! after serving 15 days, she got the girls back and continues to be a poor parent. all while their father can only watch them grow up through pictures on facebook. it is heartbreaking. i know others have told you this, but if you really care about your kids - you'll get this all resolved quick, before your kids are all alone to fend for themselves in a very cold, uncaring, system.

[Boiler 45,486]

1. Perpetrator’s last physical actions took place in 2003, when she only had “Asylum Granted” status. She was found guilty of Assault in Second Degree on Petitioner spouse, who’d entered the US legally (upon passport inspection, and not requiring a visitor visa), but subsequently OVERSTAYED due to Family’s complicated circumstances, wife’s psychiatric treatment, care for children born in US, ACS supervision, Court dates, etc. Petitioner did help prosecution resulting in 2003 conviction.

So not VAWA eligible

2. Perpetrator was also found “indicated” on at least two ACS investigations of abuse/neglect of two US born children, during same time of Perpetrator’s “Asylum Granted” legal status.

Not relevant to the topic.

3. Orders of Protection against Perpetrator were granted on separate petitions in 2003-2004 to Petitioner, his mother and his children.

Not relevant to the topic.

4. When Perpetrator was already LPR, she committed only verbal acts of mental spousal/child abuse. Given preceding legal record and more current graphic internet pictures, those verbal threats to Petitioner and Children in current years appeared credible and serious. It could be feared, that were Petitioner NOT SUCCUMB to threats to halt any Child Support proceedings, that Petitioner and/or Children would indeed be physically attacked. New Order of Protection against Perpetrator could not be obtained, as her whereabouts (for service) were unknown since 2006.

No evidence and the rest is supposition.

5. Perpetrator committed Fraud in 2006 Support Court. That act placed Petitioner and Petitioner’s children into double-jeopardy that continues today: 1) Child Support has never been paid; 2) Petitioner was told by Perpetrator, that she “would walk over corpses to avoid going to jail on the buried 2006 secret”

Not relevant to the topic.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

valerie78, thanx for telling detailed story of a different case - this may be helpful to someone, and thus is appreciated in this topic. I will not comment on your case; at this point of my education on VAWA, I can only handle my case.

It's easy to misunderstand re: Order of Protection, so I'll explain again. The original one was issued by MD1 (Mental Hygiene Division of Supreme Court), which may be considered a Criminal Court. Order only lasted from 2003 to 2004, as long as she was under that court's jurisdiction; then order expired. You have to understand that unexpired Order of Protection against any person puts that person into very iffy existance; one may not actually commit any offence again - but get nonetheless arrested only because one lives "under" existing order. That's why it is a very serious order, and a very hard one to obtain from any Court without physical evidence, and moreover during Inquest (i.e. if Respondent was not served in-Person)

I'll sum up briefly where I see my case, early on in our brainstorm:

1. There is hesitation whether I've gathered enough evidence to hire an attorney and file VAWA today; it may be advisable to go first thru Family Court procedures, trying to win a current Order of Protection. That paper, unfortunately, can't stop a bullet - but it may be required for successful VAWA filing.

2. I have to balance the risks; I can never let the manic unstable birth mother think that she may be found out. My only way of not triggering her panic was always responding that if she's ever pursued - it is not by me, but by the authorities, who I will not help, I'll have never anything to do with it. As long as she doesn't think otherwise - we may never be attacked, and I may be able to continue on long beaurocratic path to documents.

3. I could continue status-quo, stay as far as possible from any trouble, and in NYC no one is likely to be putting well-behaving holder of Canadian Passport on the spot. My children, who will always have only US citizenship, never lived outside NYC, never traveled outside US and could continue to live mostly happy lives in their native community. Their only sad moments come when they hear a ring, and they see me sad (which never happens otherwise) - and they know that it was their mother, who's hidden from Child Support all these years and never asked about them. They've seen the pictures of 10 years ago, have had conversations about her with psychologists and preventive service professionals.

4. But I don't want to continue status-quo; besides caring for the children, which I've successfully done over the last 3000 nights and counting - I want to work and drive legally. That requires getting an attorney and filing with USCIS, as soon as I have educated myself on how to do this. From what I understand so far, I shouldn't fear USCIS - even if VAWA looks 50/50 so far, then coming C-o-R looks 99%. I do want to prepare better for VAWA, and maybe 2012 re-authorization may contain changes(?)

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Boiler's points appear correct. Thus the dilemma: would CURRENT Order of Protection (if Granted by Family Court in 2012) be relevant?