Divorce

[pittman1971 0]

I need some help.

I married my wife in September 2004 in Mexico City. We went through the immigration process and she has been here since November 20th 2005. Only 2 months here in Louisiana and she says she is unhappy with me and her life here. I have tried everything to please her but she keeps giving me hell. She has been wanting to move to Memphis, TN since she got here. The problem is I bought a home here in September as per her request, have a great job, great pay, cannot make this money in Memphis. Homes like ours in Memphis are triple the price. She does not want me with her, she wants to get away, thats why I thinks its a fraudulant marriage. On the way to work this morning I took her to her new job, 1st day there. We were talking and she said how unhappy she was here. I tried to explain that its a cultural shock because she went from a big family in Mexico to no family here, she does not agree. Finally I told her that me and my family have done everything we can to make her comfortable and I do not know what else to do. I bought us a home, her a van, helped her get a job, drivers license and legal residency. Close to the end of the conversation I told her wanted her to be happy and that if her going to Memphis will do that then she can. Her response was, can I go Friday and can I take my papers, ( immigration papers ). I asked her to stay and try to adjust but she does not want to, I believe she had this planned all along. The problem is we have a son 14 months, can I get custody of him?

Someone please help

[desert_fox 32]

Tell her to leave without her son, and see what she sez...

[joej 0]

Tell her to leave without her son, and see what she sez...

I agree. Maybe she won't be so anxious to go then.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Tell her to leave without her son, and see what she sez...

I agree. Maybe she won't be so anxious to go then.

Often, even a full-custodial parent has to demonstrate legitimate reason to remove a child to another state.

[TracyTN 237]

I would seriously consider seeing a divorce and/or immigration attorney and find out your options. You have to protect yourself and your son first.

[pittman1971 0]

Tell her to leave without her son, and see what she sez...

I agree. Maybe she won't be so anxious to go then.

Often, even a full-custodial parent has to demonstrate legitimate reason to remove a child to another state.

I believe if I tell her my son must stay that she will also stay. I do not want that be the reason for her staying with me, because she will not be happy. I'm not going to use my son as leverage to keep her. I'm just not going to stay married to her if she does not love me. I have contacted an attorney to see what my options are because I want full custody. If she moves to Memphis, she will be living with her cousin and a brother that are illegally here in the USA. If we divorce according to the INS laws she is subject to be deported. I do not want that because of our son. I wish she would at least try or tell me the truth that she married me for legal status.

[MaryandMian 1]

I would seriously consider seeing a divorce and/or immigration attorney and find out your options. You have to protect yourself and your son first.

Good luck and wishing you all the best.

Mary

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I believe if I tell her my son must stay that she will also stay. I do not want that be the reason for her staying with me, because she will not be happy. I'm not going to use my son as leverage to keep her. I'm just not going to stay married to her if she does not love me. I have contacted an attorney to see what my options are because I want full custody. If she moves to Memphis, she will be living with her cousin and a brother that are illegally here in the USA. If we divorce according to the INS laws she is subject to be deported. I do not want that because of our son. I wish she would at least try or tell me the truth that she married me for legal status.

Pittman,

In your profile you have that your wife's status is CR-1/IR-1. Is that correct? If she has conditional status, if you were to divorce that does not mean she would be automatically subject to deportation.

Edited January 30, 2006 by diadromous mermaid

[caviar22 1]

I am sorry you are going through this. I do not have any advice but just wanted to let you know we are here for you.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

You allege a marriage for immigration benefits and yet she has your baby? That leaves a funny taste in my mouth since a baby is typically not what a woman that marries solely for immigration benefits makes part of the equation.

Edited January 30, 2006 by ET-US2004

[diadromous mermaid 36]

You allege a marriage for immigration benefits and yet she has your baby? That leaves a funny taste in my mouth since a baby is typically not what a woman that marries solely for immigration benefits makes part of the equation.

Agreed, although it certainly does not rule out a possibility. A birth certificate of a child born to a marriage is one crucial piece of evidence of a bona fide marriage, although it, alone, would not necessarily overcome mounting evidence that could point to fraud.

[pittman1971 0]

You allege a marriage for immigration benefits and yet she has your baby? That leaves a funny taste in my mouth since a baby is typically not what a woman that marries solely for immigration benefits makes part of the equation.

The baby was not planned, she did not want a baby. When we were 1st married we lived in Memphis, she got pregnant. She had to go back to Mexico to see her daughter that she had not seen in 2 years. Our baby was born in Mexico City. I had to go there, have DNA tests done to make him a US citizen.

The reason I beleive this could possibly be a fraudulant marriage is her actions before and after the marriage.

When we 1st met, only friends she asked how she could become a US citizen. My answer was she would have to marry a US citizen. Well she then offered me 2 thousand. I said no, I only marry for love not money and I didn't speak to her for about a month.We started talking again, started dating then married after 8 months. We had what I call normal marital problems from the beginning. Example: Shortly after married she lost her job, 1 month went by and we were behind on bills. I was trying to pay everything but was unable to do so. She finally got another job, I asked her to help me catch up on the car notes, by this time we were 2 months in the red. Instead of helping me she sent more than 1000 dollars to her parents in mexico for her daughter. We lost the cars. I did not have a problem with that at the time because I thought her family was poor. I finally met her family in Sept 2004 and they have an 8 bed home in Mexico City, her father is head accountant for a company and her sister an accountant under him. I do not beleive they are poor. When my wife was staying in mexico 1.5 years while I filed all the immigration paperwork, I was sending her 500 each month. She did not have to pay any bills other than take care of our kids ( My son and Step-daughter ) The problem is she would spend that money rather fast and then borrow from her family. She maxed out her sisters visa card with her permission. I went there 11 times and each time I had to pay her family money for what she had spent.

Now here is another example: On August 17th, 2005 my wife called me and said she was crossing the border illegal again because she had no money. In July i was there and gave her 500 plus bought enough diapers for the month. She wanted to cross the border and go to memphis for work. Well I'm in Louisiana, I asked her why not come to Louisiana. She said she had a job in Memphis and would come see me when she could. I was in a panic and sent her 710 dollars, she stayed in mexico. On September 10th I was back in mexico and she had no money. I asked what happened to the money I sent, she said she owed it to her mom. I find that strange that in a months time she spent 500 and then had to borrow another 710. She had no bills.

In december she was here in my office and we were going over the budget, asking each other questions. I asked her how she spent 500 each month when it was only costing about 220 for the children. Her reply was she was buying groceries and helping her other sister out. I am okay with helping family but I was struggling here to pay bills , pay for immigration and send them money.

I truly do not want to call this a fraudulant marriage but her actions are showing me different. She has been here to months , shows me no love and totaly disrespects me. It was not like that when we 1st got married.

[TracyTN 237]

Honestly it sounds like she was using you for money from the very beginning. I'm surprised you fell for that. But regardless, you're now going to have to prove that YOU did not enter into this marriage for the purposes of getting her a green card - which may be hard to do given the fact that you declared here that she flat out offered you $ before you ever got married.

You need to get a very very good immigration attorney (not to mention divorce attorney).

Edited January 30, 2006 by TracyTN

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Honestly it sounds like she was using you for money from the very beginning. I'm surprised you fell for that. But regardless, you're now going to have to prove that YOU did not enter into this marriage for the purposes of getting her a green card - which may be hard to do given the fact that you declared here that she flat out offered you $ before you ever got married.

You need to get a very very good immigration attorney (not to mention divorce attorney).

Hmmm. If he alleges she married solely for immigration benefit, the onus is on her to disprove. I don't believe the USC has to prove anything other than his suspicion has merit.

[TracyTN 237]

Maybe not, but geez. I can't hardly think of a bigger red flag to indicate possible fraud.

Regardless, I hope the OP can get it sorted out.