My K1 status wife will leave; questions on CR1 or K3 return

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Will she wait to leave if you tell her you want to adjust her status? are you willing to do AOS then let her leave to sort things out? Are you afraid you will be out the money if you adjust her status and she says goodbye forever? Some of these are risk you might have to take if you really love this woman. Now if she leaves forever then there was nothing you can do. I don't think going to Peru would be the answer to your problems, she has to make it right with her daughter or arrange for the biological father to care for her or your wifes mothers family.

[Moomin 292]

You have to consider your options from here, and what the outcome might be. Going for a CR1 may not change your wife's opinion about living in the US. If that will be the case in the future, then you're back where you left off. However, it is of course possible to go that route(seen from an immigration point of view, and personal) if you're not ready for it right now.

FWIW, I've heard teenagers call their parents insane and in need of therapy on/off. I wouldn't completely take a teenager's word for it however it may be a good idea to talk to someone before jumping the gun and "sending" your wife off to her home country. She has an overstay already, and not feeling at home in the US, it's hard to feel compelled to return to something that she already associates with something negative, or less comfortable than her home country.

An other poster mentioned the thing about AP - I agree that even though it didn't take my homesickness away it made me feel more comfortable here since I didn't feel "stuck" in a country.

[xoxo22 1]

Omg its funny that I came across this! (Usamale) I'm. Not sure if u have filed. its nice that u care about her status and what's gna happen later. She needs to be the one worried about that! It is very true that immigration is not a joke! And do not go wasting any money if she is not sure if she wants to stay or go! I have went thru hell and back with my own case I thought I was the only one having some troubles. Good luck!

[Xanax 349]

If I were in your shoes I would consider adjusting and your wife can use her AP to travel back to her home country for a period of time.

If you go the CR-1 route later in time, it takes a few months longer than the K-1.

If your wife overstays now without adjusting her status she may incur a ban and then you guys may not be able to be together in America for a long time!

Overstaying 180 days - 1 year is a 3 year ban I believe and 1 year plus is a 10 year ban (I could be wrong with the amount of time which incurs a ban and I am sure someone will correct me).

Edited July 8, 2012 by Xanax

[pushbrk 12,881]

If I were in your shoes I would consider adjusting and your wife can use her AP to travel back to her home country for a period of time.

If you go the CR-1 route later in time, it takes a few months longer than the K-1.

If your wife overstays now without adjusting her status she may incur a ban and then you guys may not be able to be together in America for a long time!

Overstaying 180 days - 1 year is a 3 year ban I believe and 1 year plus is a 10 year ban (I could be wrong with the amount of time which incurs a ban and I am sure someone will correct me).

The potential ban on re-entry triggered by leaving this late after marriage without adjusting status, is critical to this case. I strongly advise the OP to consult a qualified family immigration attorney about this matter, ASAP. It is not clear to me whether a ban would result in this case but know nothing that would indicate a K1 overstay is dealt with any differently than any other. The marriage provides the adjustment of status from the visa, but not a free ride if you leave before adjusting.

[mike t 2]

so far, there are 3 pages of replies to this topic. if there is only one reply you read and take to heart, let it be this one. DO NOT LET YOUR WIFE GO HOME! no matter how tough it gets, no matter what reason you or her are being driven crazy, ignore it and do not consider airefare back to her country as an option! believe me, i did this recently and it is the biggest regret of my life! i am fully prepared to start this process again via the cr-1 visa route, but live with the feeling that i am my wife were weak and could not find a more suitable way to correct our problems. once she goes, you too will know what i feel and i strongly urge you to seriously consider ignoring this temptation to just sweep the problems under the rug. consider this. this woman you did many things for. i mean physically, financially, logistically and much, much more. and dont forget those things that she did on her end either. and remember how you felt when got the noa1 and noa2 and her appointment to interview scheduled and eventually her successful visa issuance? and remember when she first arrived to you on that very first day? remember all those things you and her worked so hard for? now your option is to chuck it all away for few moments of relief? that relief will likely be replaced with unimaginable regret and pain for you and for her. really, try your a** off to work this out! if you both did right by each other during this entire process, then do right by each other now and think about the big picture. you already know what that picture is, you saw it when you first met her many months and probably few years ago. my.02 cents worth. mikeinkc.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Omg its funny that I came across this! (Usamale) I'm. Not sure if u have filed. its nice that u care about her status and what's gna happen later. She needs to be the one worried about that! It is very true that immigration is not a joke! And do not go wasting any money if she is not sure if she wants to stay or go! I have went thru hell and back with my own case I thought I was the only one having some troubles. Good luck!

Thank you thank you thank you

Not saying that it is so with OP but I see a lot of people on here with issues have the USC doing all the work and putting forth the expenses for the immigration. Our foreign SOs need to have a burning desire to be with us out of love and wherever we might live.

[USAmale 1]

Thanks to all of you; my wife is completely adamant about returning to here country. She says that she does not like anything about the US, and the only way for me to save our marriage is to sell everything I own and move there with here. She has now changed her mind completely about everything that we agreed about as the basis of our marriage.

I am not sure what date she will choose to go, because of course I have no say in any of this. She absolutely does not want me to adjust her status, she does not want to work here, does not want to live here.

that's the latest.

[USAmale 1]

Thank you thank you thank you

Not saying that it is so with OP but I see a lot of people on here with issues have the USC doing all the work and putting forth the expenses for the immigration. Our foreign SOs need to have a burning desire to be with us out of love and wherever we might live.

Gowon, she isn't worried at all about it,,a friend from her homeland who is alos married to an American told her that she can simply apply for a US Tourist Visa once she abandons her status here and returns to Peru...She says that she never wants to live in the US again, which is of course the exact opposite of what she said when I agreed to bring her here for marriage.

It;s just another problem that I will have to deal with in the future, not something for her to concern herself with.

Thanks,,,

Edited July 8, 2012 by USAmale

[Xanax 349]

Gowon, she isn't worried at all about it,,a friend from her homeland who is alos married to an American told her that she can simply apply for a US Tourist Visa once she abandons her status here and returns to Peru...She says that she never wants to live in the US again, which is of course the exact opposite of what she said when I agreed to bring her here for marriage.

It;s just another problem that I will have to deal with in the future, not something for her to concern herself with.

Thanks,,,

Firstly, NOT adjusting status really isn't that smart of an idea (for all the reasons everyone has already stated).

Secondly, Living here is an adjustment.

I came from a similar culture (to the US) and I think about home all the time when I am in the US. The US isn't home to me yet, there are things here I hate, food I can't eat, people I don't understand, weird money, soooo many things make me want to go home.

Do not blame your wife for not liking it here, she maybe did not know what it would be like. It is very different from what you experience on holidays/ think/ see on TV/ dream about.

Are you/ were you doing everything you could to help her get acclimated?- It's a long road.

Try to reason with your wife, ask her to give it X amount of time, try counseling, try taking some time from work and spending more time with her, show her around, get her a bus pass, do things to help her gain her independence, introduce her to communities from her culture in your city... There are so many things you can do to help this situation.

AOS is probably the hardest time because during AOS the beneficiary has limited options on what they can do, no state drivers license, no job etc etc I truly believe once you get over THIS hurdle everything else will seem easier.

Would you want to live in her country? Even if you have slight reservations, you can begin to see where she is coming from.

[USAmale 1]

Xanax:

I have honestly been trying everything that I can, and I believe that she is determined to return home in the near future.

The only option that she is giving me is to sell everything, leave behind my job and child from a previous marriage, and follow her back to her home country. There is no room for discussion with her in this or any other matter.

[USAmale 1]

You have to consider your options from here, and what the outcome might be. Going for a CR1 may not change your wife's opinion about living in the US. If that will be the case in the future, then you're back where you left off. However, it is of course possible to go that route(seen from an immigration point of view, and personal) if you're not ready for it right now.

FWIW, I've heard teenagers call their parents insane and in need of therapy on/off. I wouldn't completely take a teenager's word for it however it may be a good idea to talk to someone before jumping the gun and "sending" your wife off to her home country. She has an overstay already, and not feeling at home in the US, it's hard to feel compelled to return to something that she already associates with something negative, or less comfortable than her home country.

An other poster mentioned the thing about AP - I agree that even though it didn't take my homesickness away it made me feel more comfortable here since I didn't feel "stuck" in a country.

Thanks, and is Advanced Parole the same asn Adjustment of Status?

[Dave&Roza 748]

Thanks, and is Advanced Parole the same asn Adjustment of Status?

Typically you file for AP and EAD with the AOS as it is free. Given your wife's situation I would not bother filing for AP as she may not be able to re-enter the country on it based on how long it has been since she arrived and how many out-of-status days she has accrued (this is the days she is in the US after the I-94 expired). The ony way she will ever get back into the US is to file for AOS and she leave with her GC or if she decided to come back to the US and live with you you file for the CR-1/IR-1 spousal visa. Having heard how hard it is for someone from Peru to get a tourist visa, I doubt she will ever qualify for one--so that friend is telling her a lie that it is easy to get a tourist visa.

Bottom line is she needs to understand that if she leaves the US it is a very serious decision with very serious consequenses. My wife kept threating to leave me and I finally told her that she was very close to me buying her a plane ticket and sending her back and did she really want to leave. She decided to stay, but I understand how hard it is for the both of you. She does need to understand the decidion she is making and the decision her daughter has already made (do not know if it is a good idea to bring that up or not--your call). I agree that you should not give up, but both people need to want the marriage to work. I guess the advantage we have is that we are both old and the prospects of finding someone else are slim to none so we are both willing to try to make this marriage work.

If your wife is unwilling to make the marriage work, there is not a lot you can do. One tactic I did use on my wife was to tell her it is not the stuff (i.e. money, house, car, etc) it is her that is most important to me. I even suggested I move back to Kazakhstan with her, but she did not think I would do well there. I do know that most people see the US from Hollywood's point of view which screws most of us as the US is no different than their home country--there are good things and there are bad things. , but they expect it to be this wonderful special place and when it isn't then they want to go back to where they felt comfortable.

I hope it all works out and sorry you are going thru this,

Dave

Edited July 8, 2012 by Dave&Roza

[Moomin 292]

Thanks, and is Advanced Parole the same asn Adjustment of Status?

Advanced Parole can be filed with AOS - the fee is waived so it doesn't cost anything to submit AP with AOS. This means when your wife has that in hand, she can travel to home country and return to the US without a problem(as long as AOS isn't denied). Again meaning at least both you and your wife won't be closing that door if she changes her mind.

Edited July 8, 2012 by moomin

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Gowon, she isn't worried at all about it,,a friend from her homeland who is alos married to an American told her that she can simply apply for a US Tourist Visa once she abandons her status here and returns to Peru...She says that she never wants to live in the US again, which is of course the exact opposite of what she said when I agreed to bring her here for marriage.

It;s just another problem that I will have to deal with in the future, not something for her to concern herself with.

Thanks,,,

Some friends are the worst enemies. Anyways be careful who you listen to for immigration advices. Not many people, even USC know about the immigration rules and procedures. That friend may just know as much as your WIfe who is also married to a USC, nothing.

I still believe that this is another case where the USC did all the work and financed the process and the recipient does not appreciate what it took.

I do not envy your position Sir.