Canadian Single Dad of 2 young U.S. citizens

[SingleDad2usc 71]

1. ACS only got her to sign-off temporary physical custody. The neglect case was then in Family Court for over a year, where ACS eventually conceded custody to me. She stopped attending, and her free lawyer asked to be excused.

2. I still have that 2000 foreign marriage certificate - only it has been torn into a dozen of pieces by her.

3. I can only guess that she never told Fed authorities she'd had a husband; where is MY fault in what she'd ever declared?

Did she give up these children to the state, then she gave up all rights including finanial responsibility.

Was the marriage valid on paper, any two people can live together and make babies. (called sex education)

VAWA hurdle is this your wife implied that she was single when she obtained political aslum, when did she ever tell the US government that she had a husband.

If she was married when she lied to the USC then all of her immigration benefits now becomes voided. If you apply and bring it to light that she lied, then everyone is sitting in a pile of sh#t. So now the choice is yours, go for it.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Did she give up these children to the state, then she gave up all rights including finanial responsibility.

Was the marriage valid on paper, any two people can live together and make babies. (called sex education)

VAWA hurdle is this your wife implied that she was single when she obtained political aslum, when did she ever tell the US government that she had a husband.

If she was married when she lied to the USC then all of her immigration benefits now becomes voided. If you apply and bring it to light that she lied, then everyone is sitting in a pile of sh#t. So now the choice is yours, go for it.

Her lie on her asylum application probably isn't relevant. It's not a material fact that her eligibility for asylum would hinge on. DHS wouldn't revoke anyone's immigration status for a false immaterial fact, even if it was an intentional lie.

He said his marriage certificate has been shredded. Obviously, one of the things he would need to do before filing a VAWA self-petition would be to obtain another pristine certified copy of that certificate.

Another issue to consider is divorce. It's possible to obtain a divorce without the respondent spouse ever finding out about it. It is possible to file a VAWA self-petition after divorce, but the I-360 must be filed within two years of the final divorce decree, and the applicant has to show that the divorce was due to the claimed abuse. This doesn't mean that grounds for divorce must be domestic violence. In many states, especially "no fault" states, it's impossible to get a divorce on any grounds other than irreconcilable differences, though some states also allow a claim that the respondent spouse is insane. However, it's important that the record of proceedings show that domestic violence was the primary factor that led to the termination of the marriage.

In other words, he's got to find out if she ever obtained a divorce. If so then I seriously doubt she mentioned anything about abuse, unless she accused him of abuse. She would probably have just claimed abandonment. If she obtained a divorce more than two years ago then it's moot. He can't file a VAWA claim.

[belinda63 3,038]

VAWA normally requires you show you are or in the recent past have been abused by the spouse, not 10 years ago. Since you nor the children have been around her for years I really doubt a VAWA petition would be approved. You can certainly give it a try if you so desire.

The question regarding child support is two fold. Did she legally terminate her rights to the children or did the court involuntarily terminate her rights? If the answer to either is yes then she has not obligation to pay child support. If the answer is no has she ever been court-ordered to pay child support? If not then she has no legal obligation to pay. (Note this issue is off topic and has nothing to do with the OP's immigration status).

The children's health or medical conditions have nothing to do with the OP gaining immigration benefits as the children are USC and have the right to remain in the US, the OP does not.

Since the wife has not been in the picture for years the only part she plays here is if they were legally married and never divorced I would suggest he proceed with a legal divorce. Her status is really moot unless he tries to file for VAWA (which in my opinion is futile).

To the OP, you have lived in the US for about 12 longer than you had permission to be here. You are subject to deportation at any time. You have no right to work, drive, etc. The only ways you can become legal are as stated before VAWA (slim chance), marry a USC, wait for the child to turn 21 and petition you, pray for immigration reform. If you can't accomplish any of these then I suggest you find another country to live in, there are plenty of the to choose from.

Edited July 7, 2012 by belinda63

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Well, I am through with my free consulation, I am going to go out in this 115 degree heat.

Good luck.

Edited July 7, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Her lie on her asylum application probably isn't relevant. It's not a material fact that her eligibility for asylum would hinge on

. DHS wouldn't revoke anyone's immigration status for a false immaterial fact, even if it was an intentional lie.

He said his marriage certificate has been shredded. Obviously, one of the things he would need to do before filing a VAWA self-petition would be to obtain another pristine certified copy of that certificate.

Another issue to consider is divorce. It's possible to obtain a divorce without the respondent spouse ever finding out about it. It is possible to file a VAWA self-petition after divorce, but the I-360 must be filed within two years of the final divorce decree, and the applicant has to show that the divorce was due to the claimed abuse. This doesn't mean that grounds for divorce must be domestic violence. In many states, especially "no fault" states, it's impossible to get a divorce on any grounds other than irreconcilable differences, though some states also allow a claim that the respondent spouse is insane. However, it's important that the record of proceedings show that domestic violence was the primary factor that led to the termination of the marriage.

In other words, he's got to find out if she ever obtained a divorce. If so then I seriously doubt she mentioned anything about abuse, unless she accused him of abuse. She would probably have just claimed abandonment. If she obtained a divorce more than two years ago then it's moot. He can't file a VAWA claim.

Jim I will have to disagree with you on this one, but only will immigration be the judge of that.

[Bumbo1 1]

I completely appreciate your reluctance to leave the US. Not only have your children built lives here, so have you and while remaining in the US illegally may meet with disapproval I imagine for you this illegal, but established, life in the US must seem far more certain and stable than a move to where you would be able to live and work legally but have no ties.

Carlos and Amy have given you (I believe) wonderful advice, and while I dont doubt you competancy to navigate your own way through legal processes, my experience as a UK Immigration consultant taught me that when circumstances are as complicated as yours to get as much advice from experienced professionals as possible (I believe some links provided by Carlos and Amy included those who offer a free consultation). I myself had a very simple CRI case but hired an expert (before I found VJ) even though I have experience in the Immigration field. I would note, if you find that reputable immigration lawyers are unwilling to take your case, that this is an indication of your potential for success given your current options. Filing any application to USCIS will bring you to their attention, so personally I would want to be darn sure of my application before I made that move. I realize you need a drivers license but chances are it will take a long time before you have something you can give to the DMV to prove you status. Tread carefully, you are in a difficult situation, any attempt to now legalize your stay, while definitely good, may not end the way you would like, so a contigency plan is always a good idea for the worst case scenario - I'm really not pushing you to return to Canada, just hoping you are prepared for this potential eventuality.

I realize you are getting advice, wanted or not, from all sides. Ultimately you will make a choice as to what you believe is best for you and your family, and I hope it goes the way you would like, but it may not and there is alot of danger in disregarding good advice just because it is hard to hear (and again, i dont mean returning to Canada)

Best of luck

[newlyweds2010 208]

It seems like you got all the answers you needed. If you don't want to consult with an experienced attorney re: VAWA as many have suggested, you can google "I-360 form" and "I-360 instructions", fill out the form, print it, sign it, include whatever evidence you have (possibly not a jigsaw marriage certificate, but a pristine one), pay the fee, go to a Federal Express office, and send the package out to the right address. You will find out very soon whether you are eligible for a green card. Good luck.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Gowon, thanks for playing Devil's advocate:

1. A non-custodial parent of two children is liable for Child Support = 25% of her gross

2. She took prescription Prozac daily (pushed by Ely Lily as pregnancy-safe at the time) during the entire 37 weeks of second pregnancy. I couldn't force her off it - and her free shrink's prescribed regimen was enough justification for herself to stay on the drug. The result was (opposed to the preceding no-drug pregnancy): 4-5 birth defects NOW sourced to Prozac during pregnancy. Did she or the shrink commit crime: NO. Are they liable: NO. Did she have a choice of not going on that regimen: YES. Was my advice not to go: YES

Lawyers around the US are putting product liability cases against Ely Lily now; I can't even file on behalf of the child, as she is not available for evidence/tests

Even if she surrendered the child after birth? I'm trying to learn here.

Thanks for the explanations. So she wasn't a doped up Meth addict but someone trying to take legally prescribed medications to help herself under the care of a Doctor. Unfortunately the side effects had collateral damage but I wouldn't call her selfish. She didn't know the effects and neither did her shrink.

I wish the best for all concerned.

[amberlynnloves 125]

DMV said yesterday: give us $80.50 to get another 8y license. However, state computer system will no longer allow us to issue a plain DL to a person with no SSN. We need to see I-94 or DHS paper specifying till when you're allowed to stay. Then we insert a red line in the middle of the license: authorized to stay in US till... Every time you bring us new paper, it'll cost you $17.50 to modify that insert.

Carlos&Amy provided a few great points:

1. I shouldn't initiate divorce, before I've filed under VAWA.

2. Children ARE qualifying reason for CoR - but only if fed. authorities go after me; I can't just turn myself in

So it would appear that I have 2 options to obtain 8y DL:

1. Obtain I-94 (likely specifying 6mo stay), renew DL and then ignore the red-line. Traffic cop can't fine me because of the red-line. I'd drive legally for 8y, I just don't have legal presence.

2. Quick day-trip to my CA province, where they'd exchange my state DL for provincial DL.

Shorter-term fix is FL, where only 1y DL is issued to Canadians for $48.

Please keep good advice flowing here...I don't judge knee-jerk reaction of some: "go home", "he only wants his own terms", "get a pricy lawyer". But please consider:

1. Canada is just my passport. I have no ties there, and haven't lived there in decades. I wasn't born there, either.

2. Tonight is my 3000th (often sleepless) straight night as a sole caregiver to these 2 USC children, who have only resided in NYC and who only traveled to FL during winter breaks. We're in-separable, just like they're un-removable

It's too bad that the US TODAY doesn't seem to have a path for me to apply. But I'm perfectly capable of maintaining clean record and surviving for better times. I need to drive legally

I'm really sorry but I have read all this thread and I've come up with two conclusions.

1. You don't have about getting deported. You care about getting a traffic ticket for no license.

2. How in the world did you get government help because it seems like you're ok with using OUR government for help but don't want to trust your Canadian Government with healthcare and helping you out there.

3. You obviously enjoy living in America illegally.

4. You need to go home. And immigrate the legal, correct way. Everyone on this website has done their time of waiting for their loved ones or their time waiting to "get legal". So should you. Its people like you that severally upset me. I'm separated from the love of my life for probably close to a year because I love him enough to do it the legal way.

Seek help or go home. Thats my advice. Stop cheating the system and go home.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

1. Family Court judge who gave me Final Order of Custody in 2005, has also issued a second paper - confirming that we were married in 2000, before the births, and thus I'm the legal father.

2. She was never ordered to actually pay Child Support ONLY BY VIRTUE OF COMMITTING FRAUD upon the Support Court, where she got personally served to appear in 2006 - but VOIPed instead of appearing, and lied under oath

3. Your "stale-VAWA" call is based on the age of the 2003 assault conviction. But aren't 2006-2011 threats and Child Support avoidance are also grounds?

4. Is there something within VAWA or just outside VAWA about this: I'm a parent caregiver to USC children abused/neglected by LPR/USC parent ?

[amberlynnloves 125]

1. Family Court judge who gave me Final Order of Custody in 2005, has also issued a second paper - confirming that we were married in 2000, before the births, and thus I'm the legal father.

2. She was never ordered to actually pay Child Support ONLY BY VIRTUE OF COMMITTING FRAUD upon the Support Court, where she got personally served to appear in 2006 - but VOIPed instead of appearing, and lied under oath

3. Your "stale-VAWA" call is based on the age of the 2003 assault conviction. But aren't 2006-2011 threats and Child Support avoidance are also grounds?

4. Is there something within VAWA or just outside VAWA about this: I'm a parent caregiver to USC children abused/neglected by LPR/USC parent ?

How were you admitted into the US in the first place? Visitor visa? If thats the case, you best hope you find how to get here legally otherwise you, my friend, are not coming back for 10+ years. And with living in the country THIS long without being legal, I am shocked you haven't gotten caught. But putting your information up on a PUBLIC website, opens you up to so much more. Do you honestly thing USCIS doesn't check this site with so many people on it? I can guarantee they do! And do you know how it is for them to find your IP address and find out where you are? Not hard at all. Good luck. Because you're going to need it. And God be with you because you're gonna need him too.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

amberlynnloves, my heart goes out to you and your circumstances - but don't confuse them with my circumstances. Mine and children's home is only in NYC, there is no other "go home". Read all of the 100 posts in this thread, and don't blame me for YOUR difficulties: next u'll blame people of color, creed, look, accent, etc. You sound so mean that you'd rather have one of your eyes poked - just to have someone else blinded! Be human, work hard - and eventually the Law will help you

[amberlynnloves 125]

amberlynnloves, my heart goes out to you and your circumstances - but don't confuse them with my circumstances. Mine and children's home is only in NYC, there is no other "go home". Read all of the 100 posts in this thread, and don't blame me for YOUR difficulties: next u'll blame people of color, creed, look, accent, etc. You sound so mean that you'd rather have one of your eyes poked - just to have someone else blinded! Be human, work hard - and eventually the Law will help you

Speak for yourself! Seriously....I work my butt off to pay for your child's SSI. Your "Living Voucher", the food you put into your mouth and the heating costs that you received FREE from our government is THANKS to my hard work. Get your head out of the sky and realize that MY hard work pays for your slack. Don't blame ME because you are now in a situation that you have no idea how to get out of. I'm sorry for whats happened to you (if theres any truth to it) but you got yourself in this mess. You need to figure how to get out without losing your children who means oh so much to you. I'm sorry for being rude or mean about this, but you asked for advice, people have given it to you based on THEIR DIY knowledge and you just keep coming up with excuses not to take any of it. I'm sorry you're stubborn and sorry for your children too.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

i feel sorry for your kids, and I think it is despicable you always refer to them as your "USC kids," as if their suffering is your meal ticket. Anchor babies...

I assume he wants a DL so he can falsely claim to be a US Citizen on his I-9 and show DL and SSN to work. It's possible his Canadian citizenship is fraudulent too.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

amberlynnloves, I don't want a shouting match. Don't envy the court-ordered assistance for USC minors - it just insures the basics. I'd much rather be a tax-payer; that's why I'm not resigning to circumstances and educating myself.

Edit: Harpa Timsah, I stepped away to administer medicine and just now read your libel; it doesn't help you, me or anyone on this forum or this planet.

Edited July 7, 2012 by SingleDad2usc