Please help me

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

My wife wants to keep her feet on two boats. I told her it won't happen and it doesn't work that way. Her dad was abusive and thats why her brothers raised her. She is attached to them. The brothers are trying to bring an agenda on the table which is completely theirs but since it has all these conditions where their sister is beneficiary it makes it sound that they are after my money even if it costs a divorce for their sister. My wife loves me and we don't want divorce. However she is easily influenced by her brothers who are all set on getting me divorced. They are saying that in order to move forward I have to give my wife pocket money, be transparent about my personal account ( the account I have with my dad) and not what I have with my wife and sign the car to my wife's name just to name a few. They have already confiscated the keys to our safety deposit box (my wife was stupid enough to hand them over the keys). WE have everythig joint under our name.

Now what should I do in this situation. My wife doesn't want to move out of state with me. She wants to stay here and finish her school while living at her brothers house. The same brother who is treating me like #### and wants to impose all these rules on us.

I am trying my best to win my wife's trust but she wants to be in the middle and be nice to both the parties. Unfortunately it won't work that way.

Can anyone please help me (besides God off course)

Please advice.

It's time for you to be a Husband and stand your ground.

Here's what "I" would do.

First, move forward with your new job. This is a must. You do not want to be near the family and their control.

Second, take some counselling to fix yourself. The issue of assault is something that happened and you don't want that to happen again, either with your or in future relationship. I think your Wife is scared of you but wants to see what she can get from you (you keep hinting about this my money).

Third, have Wifey decide if she's with you or them. I think she has chosen them.

It's really easy but may mean going back home if necessary. The alternative is stay here in the US and under their control. What kind of life will that be? But I don't see why you will have to go back.

I always recommend for couples to have individual finances (you can have what I call a joint potluck checking acount for household expenses, etc). I think you have already seen the potential benefit of this. Most don't think about that till it's too late.

Good luck.

[rade2rising 205]

gr8 advise by gowon

now start heeding some of the advise given here instead of continue to ask what to do

sooner you start better off you will be

[Need_Help_Plz 0]

It's time for you to be a Husband and stand your ground.

Here's what "I" would do.

First, move forward with your new job. This is a must. You do not want to be near the family and their control.

Second, take some counselling to fix yourself. The issue of assault is something that happened and you don't want that to happen again, either with your or in future relationship. I think your Wife is scared of you but wants to see what she can get from you (you keep hinting about this my money).

Third, have Wifey decide if she's with you or them. I think she has chosen them.

It's really easy but may mean going back home if necessary. The alternative is stay here in the US and under their control. What kind of life will that be? But I don't see why you will have to go back.

I always recommend for couples to have individual finances (you can have what I call a joint potluck checking acount for household expenses, etc). I think you have already seen the potential benefit of this. Most don't think about that till it's too late.

Good luck.

Ok well we already have joint potluck account and no way she will get access to other accounts. I will seek counseling but I don't want that to be used against me in a divorce or court (if that happens).

Time to quit whining an start moving.

Appreciate it

[Ihavequestions 419]

Ok well we already have joint potluck account and no way she will get access to other accounts. I will seek counseling but I don't want that to be used against me in a divorce or court (if that happens).

Time to quit whining an start moving.

Appreciate it

Counseling is a very matter and that privacy is protected by law. No information can be released without your written permission - with two exceptions: homicide or suicide.

[Xanax 349]

You have to give her the choice, the choice to have a life with you or continue to be lead around by her brothers.

It is clear you cannot have a successful relationship with her family interfering to such an extent.

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you feel the options, ask her what she feels your options are and then make a joint decision.

Whatever happens, happens but at least you will know where you stand.

You wife at whatever age is your wife and decisions are now between you two not you two plus her brothers and she needs to realize that.

You need to realize she may choose her brothers over you and you need to be prepared for that.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Ok well we already have joint potluck account and no way she will get access to other accounts. I will seek counseling but I don't want that to be used against me in a divorce or court (if that happens).

Time to quit whining an start moving.

Appreciate it

You're not going for a court demanded domestic violence counseling. You will be going for a self improvement anger management counseling. Here in the US we have something called HIPPA, basically assures your privacy. No one needs to know that you're in counseling.

Sorry that I keep bringing this up but me personally I don't see a future with your existing Wife so I wish for you to be a better person in a better position and be prepared to deal under pressure with your future relationships (trust me, your if eis not evil, whatever she did that caused you to touch her, another Woman will take you there too so you have to be prepared to control your reaction - I don't know if you know how lucky you are that you are not caught in the DV court web). Statistically you are almost guaranteed to lash out again. Perhaps SandraJ can chime in with some data.

So, Man up, and stop letting others dictate how you're going to live your life.

[Need_Help_Plz 0]

You're not going for a court demanded domestic violence counseling. You will be going for a self improvement anger management counseling. Here in the US we have something called HIPPA, basically assures your privacy. No one needs to know that you're in counseling.

Sorry that I keep bringing this up but me personally I don't see a future with your existing Wife so I wish for you to be a better person in a better position and be prepared to deal under pressure with your future relationships (trust me, your if eis not evil, whatever she did that caused you to touch her, another Woman will take you there too so you have to be prepared to control your reaction - I don't know if you know how lucky you are that you are not caught in the DV court web). Statistically you are almost guaranteed to lash out again. Perhaps SandraJ can chime in with some data.

So, Man up, and stop letting others dictate how you're going to live your life.

I know how lucky I am and perhaps there are no second chances. Will definitely look up the anger management course. I do see a future with my existing wife atleast not around her family. So I will do what I have to do. Appreciate all feedback....

[Darnell 8,479]

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