Need help, I am very worried...

[meno-is-mine 37]

IHQ talked about once a divorce is final. Final meaning 3 talaqs were given. Before that it isn't final. Maybe you're thinking IHQ was talking in terms of American divorce being final in a court?

Feel free to correct me at any point. As far as I've always understood divorce in Islam, being born and raised Muslim (although not claiming to know all), a man can divorce a woman by uttering the words "you are divorced." She then waits her 3edda (three months/three menstrual cycles, pregnant or not) and during this time, the man can "return" her at any point and the divorce isn't finalized and isn't counted as a divorce. If she completes the 3edda, they're divorced and he can marry her again, with a new mahr and everything. They an divorce again, finalize it, and then marry and divorce again. This third divorce now is when they cannot return to each other unless she marries another man, consummates, and divorces from him. I believe it is haram for her to marry this second man for the purpose of returning to the first guy.

Also, I am unsure of the rule when the woman is the one divorcing the guy (khul3). The rules may be different. I dont claim to know that situation, but as far as a man divorcing a woman, what I described above is what I believe to be the way it is. Wallahu a3lam.

Where do we disagree now? I'm curious. And to answer you, no, I wasn't thinking of an American divorce in a court in any way. Lol

[Mithra 1,185]

What you described is exactly what IHQ was saying. It's what I explained also in lesser detail.

No disagreement. I was clarifying what IHQ meant.

Edited July 4, 2012 by Mithra

[meno-is-mine 37]

I always love it when people post without bothering to read the whole thread. Welcome to last year !

Yea, seriously!!! I thought "#######, that update was pages ago." LOL

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

OP has stated she is searching online for Muslim men...

Is there a nice mosque near OP to go to maybe a good family can introduce her a Muslim man she is in quest of online? This Visa process is hard.... EVEN when your SO does answer his phone

BTW ...would never chase a man down to stay in touch with me...u found he was not injured or in harms way (as you assumed) and could have called... it sounds fishy.

sounds like he is just not that in to her LOL

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

stanfordd: oh, she has to judge and make assumptions...the a$$hole was contacted days ago, is perfectly fine, yet has not contacted her to explain.....there's nothing OK about that in my book....id be pissed and hurt! It would tell me all i needed to know.

yeah me too LOL

sounds like hes fishing in the nile for some new booty..

Hes just not that in to her

for the love of god..what is wrong with women these days? Desperate, clingy and just hot messes everywhere...myself included

MENA HOT MESS CLUB.

established 2006

[rade2rising 205]

gr8 news

hopefully he calls you on regular basis now

[meno-is-mine 37]

What you described is exactly what IHQ was saying. It's what I explained also in lesser detail.

No disagreement. I was clarifying what IHQ meant.

LOL, guess there's no problem then. I didn't understand that from IHQ (still don't after rereading again, think that what was being said didnt call for anything related to a 3rd (final) divorce, but whatever) and didn't see any explanation from you at all, although i admit to skimming thru some posts after some point. all's well, thanks for verifying. I dont claim to know alot nor am i a big advice giver, but some things I do know fundamentally. i just needed a sanity check that i wasnt wrong. enjoy ur day!

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

Just chiming in ....U know what is the most awesome part of this thread???

IHQ total stranger to OP got a male Arabic speaking friend to call and find answers for OP!!!

[Nasturtium 500]

gr8 news

hopefully he calls you on regular basis now

How is this great news? and what??

[R and F 34]

Just chiming in ....U know what is the most awesome part of this thread???

IHQ total stranger to OP got a male Arabic speaking friend to call and find answers for OP!!!

Gee whiz, this is like the American lady on whose husband was chatting with his female cousin back home about meeting up when he went home for a visit. She translated their chats herself using Google translate and his chats were not too nice. She then confronted him and he said she was misunderstanding their chats. She asked him for a divorce, he took some pills and ended up in the hospital. She got one of his friends to translate the chats and it ended up being all a big mistake on her part. She was totally at fault and she blamed herself for the mess. How convenient. :whistle: Once again they are back together and everything is just fine.

:no:

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Gee whiz, this is like the American lady on whose husband was chatting with his female cousin back home about meeting up when he went home for a visit. She translated their chats herself using Google translate and his chats were not too nice. She then confronted him and he said she was misunderstanding their chats. She asked him for a divorce, he took some pills and ended up in the hospital. She got one of his friends to translate the chats and it ended up being all a big mistake on her part. She was totally at fault and she blamed herself for the mess. How convenient. :whistle: Once again they are back together and everything is just fine.

:no:

That right there (bolded) jumps out.

[NY_BX 397]

Gee whiz, this is like the American lady on whose husband was chatting with his female cousin back home about meeting up when he went home for a visit. She translated their chats herself using Google translate and his chats were not too nice. She then confronted him and he said she was misunderstanding their chats. She asked him for a divorce, he took some pills and ended up in the hospital. She got one of his friends to translate the chats and it ended up being all a big mistake on her part. She was totally at fault and she blamed herself for the mess. How convenient. :whistle: Once again they are back together and everything is just fine.

:no:

How this situation relates to the OP's situation? The man has ignored the OP, that's a fact. This is not about a cousin meeting up and having translations being the source of evidence. Here, the source of evidence is the male's behavior. Someone called and he's fine. Pretending the call never happened, the man STILL hasn't called the OP. Actions speak more than words....

Edited July 4, 2012 by NY_BX

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

How this situation relates to the OP's situation? The man has ignored the OP, that's a fact. This is not about a cousin meeting up and having translations being the source of evidence. Here, the source of evidence is the male's behavior. Someone called and he's fine. Pretending the call never happened, the man STILL hasn't called the OP. Actions speak more than words....

He's avoiding her, and having someone screen his calls. Not a good thing.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

Gee whiz, this is like the American lady on whose husband was chatting with his female cousin back home about meeting up when he went home for a visit. She translated their chats herself using Google translate and his chats were not too nice. She then confronted him and he said she was misunderstanding their chats. She asked him for a divorce, he took some pills and ended up in the hospital. She got one of his friends to translate the chats and it ended up being all a big mistake on her part. She was totally at fault and she blamed herself for the mess. How convenient. :whistle: Once again they are back together and everything is just fine.

:no:

Dont know why you are quoting my post.....but

Gee whiz ...I was amazed that in such a distance with the internet these total strangers can help each other...Not what has occurred with OP's situation and her man. That is her problem now

Your story sounds like a Turkish Soap that my husband is hooked onto hahahaha!!

Also was giving Kudos to IHQ

Edited July 4, 2012 by inluvnwaiting

[Ihavequestions 419]

What you described is exactly what IHQ was saying. It's what I explained also in lesser detail.

No disagreement. I was clarifying what IHQ meant.

Exactly.

I believe my use of the word "final" was confusing, and maybe interpreted to mean "ongoing" or "incomplete."