Need help, I am very worried...

[Ihavequestions 419]

Not true actually. This is only true after the man has divorced the woman 3 times. After one divorce, they can get married twice again. Only after a third divorce does she need to marry/consummate with another man. Just saying. Don't mean to offend. Lol

I, too, am LOLing because you're saying that what I said isn't true, when it is. Read it again. Just saying.

[Nasturtium 500]

The only time my husband didn't answer me for days (three to be exact) was when his father died. He had left his charger at work and his battery died while he was calling people to let them know. it was the weekend, so the university was closed. Then there was the burial... and then he called me. I was super pissed before I realized what had happened. The obituary was then in alrai's death section. So I can see a reason why someone would/could be absent, but there does come a point where they make the effort to contact you.

any octopus is cute! How many pages until we get to it??

I estimate it should make an appearance on page 21.

[Ihavequestions 419]

In my opinion, you should forget about this guy (like starting yesterday.) And don't look to random dudes on Muslim marriage websites for reliable information about your new faith, or what "the Muslim way" is. All that glitters is not gold.

[meno-is-mine 37]

I, too, am LOLing because you're saying that what I said isn't true, when it is. Read it again. Just saying.

Ok, I read it again. Still don't see that it's true. Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't think so. It's not an issue though for me. This isn't an argument I'm hoping to win. To each his own opinion/belief.

Edited July 4, 2012 by meno-is-mine

[Cathi 5,757]

The only time my husband didn't answer me for days (three to be exact) was when his father died. He had left his charger at work and his battery died while he was calling people to let them know. it was the weekend, so the university was closed. Then there was the burial... and then he called me. I was super pissed before I realized what had happened. The obituary was then in alrai's death section. So I can see a reason why someone would/could be absent, but there does come a point where they make the effort to contact you.

I estimate it should make an appearance on page 21.

Th only time my husband did not contact me is when he was in KSA for Umrah. He had no cell coverage and I knew ahead of time he couldn't contact me while he was there, although he managed to get a hold of his uncle's phone a few times to text me. He texted me the moment he made it to the border of Jordan on his way home.

Edited July 4, 2012 by mimolicious

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

OP has stated she is searching online for Muslim men...

Is there a nice mosque near OP to go to maybe a good family can introduce her a Muslim man she is in quest of online? This Visa process is hard.... EVEN when your SO does answer his phone

BTW ...would never chase a man down to stay in touch with me...u found he was not injured or in harms way (as you assumed) and could have called... it sounds fishy.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Yikes, not good news with him not contacting you at all unfortunately. I'd forget him as it shows his real "love" for you.

[Crossed_fingers 128]

A bit of advice for the OP to feel free to take or leave. You just changed religions mere months ago. I wish you the best on that journey. A woman I knew who had converted to Islam 10 years earlier said the best advice she had heard as a recent convert, and the best advice she could ever give to other new converts, was to not marry right away. Her advice was to wait a bare minimum of at least a year, and preferably longer.

Islam has specific rights and duties for both partners in a marriage, and by the looks of things you - quite understandably at this point - don't yet know about that aspect of the faith. If you take a step back and slow things down and spend a few years getting comfortable with your new faith, you might find yourself in a much better position to find and get the marriage you want. You will likely know more about what conduct to expect from a good Muslim man and more about his religious expectations of a wife. Who knows, you may even become part of a community of other Muslims who know you in person and who may help you find the right match.

Apart from the whole marriage issue, converting is a huge, life-changing event and you may be a bit more vulnerable than usual when it comes to making big decisions. It might be the right time for you to focus more on this new part of your identity and your understanding of the world, and less on relationships for a while.

Edited July 4, 2012 by Crossed_fingers

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Ok everyone, just stopping by to give an update.

A lady from this forum who's in Egypt had a male friend call him. He says he is fine! Phew!

So that just leaves the question of why he was MIA for a while... Very strange and unlike him. More than a bit inconsiderate, in my opinion. Usually, when one of us knows we will be gone for a while, we let the other know when, why and how long. So this was just strange. They asked him to contact me, so we will see if he does.

Part of me is very thankful that he is ok. But another part of me says "Ok, but what was going on then?" All we know is that he is "fine". But I guess only he can answer that...

As others have suggested, I might like to think good of him, yes. But still I have been worrying all along about all kinds of things, like does he just not care if I worry? What does that say about his seriousness? Is he there visiting a wife or something? Is that why he can't talk to me? Is he REALLY completely and legally divorced??

But see I wouldn't be freaking out about things like that, if he hadn't disappeared that way, lol.

I'm guess I'm just going to have to be cautious. I won't assume anything, or accuse him of anything unless I see some very solid proof, because that's just wrong. But at the very least, I have reasons to wonder...

Has he contacted you yet or explained why hes been MIA? and did I miss out on you answering how long you havent heard anything from him?

Edited July 4, 2012 by ~PalmTreeGurl~

[Tebessa1111 16]

No need to judge and make quick assumptions! Things happen all the time. Give his number to that person that is willing to help you out and just wait for a few days. I am sure you will hear back from him. Keep up your FAITH! Sending you prayers and positive thoughts!

[Mithra 1,185]

Please read the entire thread. Help was already given and she knows what's going on. To a point.

No need to judge and make quick assumptions! Things happen all the time. Give his number to that person that is willing to help you out and just wait for a few days. I am sure you will hear back from him. Keep up your FAITH! Sending you prayers and positive thoughts!

[Mithra 1,185]

IHQ talked about once a divorce is final. Final meaning 3 talaqs were given. Before that it isn't final. Maybe you're thinking IHQ was talking in terms of American divorce being final in a court?

Ok, I read it again. Still don't see that it's true. Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't think so. It's not an issue though for me. This isn't an argument I'm hoping to win. To each his own opinion/belief.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

stanfordd: oh, she has to judge and make assumptions...the a$$hole was contacted days ago, is perfectly fine, yet has not contacted her to explain.....there's nothing OK about that in my book....id be pissed and hurt! It would tell me all i needed to know.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Sorry to hear your situation. Please be prepared for not so positive things coming your way. Many Egyptian men change their mind in wanting to be with an American. This is nothing new for one of them to just disappear even within the US after they arrive here. I've seen this happen too often. So many keep secrets like having a fiance or even the fact they're married there. Some of them are liars and players. BEWARE! Yes, It's so horrible that they can betray someone like that. I wish you the best in finding an answer to where he might be. I hope for your hearts sake you receive good news soon. Good Luck to you

true true and true.. great post

Sounds like she probably won't need to change her phone number or email. He's not contacting her. To me, it sounds like either he's still married or has found another gal. Do we know if they've even met in person? Personally, I wouldn't proceed with this guy. He obviously isn't that into the relationship.

oh hell to the yes.. great post

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

No need to judge and make quick assumptions! Things happen all the time. Give his number to that person that is willing to help you out and just wait for a few days. I am sure you will hear back from him. Keep up your FAITH! Sending you prayers and positive thoughts!

I always love it when people post without bothering to read the whole thread. Welcome to last year !