Dilemma.. bouncing thoughts around!

[nurse1967 287]

Wow, must be cultural. I can't imagine wanting to move someone in just because I was pregnant.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Wow, must be cultural. I can't imagine wanting to move someone in just because I was pregnant.

I normally wouldnt..but i will be alone and pregnant/with a baby for a whole year without a husband, other family and friends.

[D.K. 16]

I completely understand your desire to have someone with you while alone during your pregnancy. I moved to Germany to be with my husband without knowing the language and I had no family or friends of my own there.... and I became pregnant. Joyful as I was, I was also worried because my husband traveled often for his work. Whenever he would go out of town, he would make sure I had a list of his friends' telephone numbers and he would also call them and ask them to contact me daily to check up on me. It helped, but being alone and pregnant in a country not my own is not something I would ever like to repeat.

Building on the idea of leasing out a room (with reduced rent in exchange for companionship): why not check at your university/school's bulletin boards where 'looking for/offering' notices are posted? This way, you can find a few women that are looking to lease a room and interview them (on campus) to check for compatibility with you. I know that I would have been grateful for this situation during my university days. I was never a party girl and often spent time alone studying/reading/contemplating life... as long as you didn't intend for me to be your personal housekeeper/cook, I'd have been delighted to offer companionship to a fellow student that was pregnant.... I love babies

[Messybrownhair 251]

I completely understand your desire to have someone with you while alone during your pregnancy. I moved to Germany to be with my husband without knowing the language and I had no family or friends of my own there.... and I became pregnant. Joyful as I was, I was also worried because my husband traveled often for his work. Whenever he would go out of town, he would make sure I had a list of his friends' telephone numbers and he would also call them and ask them to contact me daily to check up on me. It helped, but being alone and pregnant in a country not my own is not something I would ever like to repeat.

Building on the idea of leasing out a room (with reduced rent in exchange for companionship): why not check at your university/school's bulletin boards where 'looking for/offering' notices are posted? This way, you can find a few women that are looking to lease a room and interview them (on campus) to check for compatibility with you. I know that I would have been grateful for this situation during my university days. I was never a party girl and often spent time alone studying/reading/contemplating life... as long as you didn't intend for me to be your personal housekeeper/cook, I'd have been delighted to offer companionship to a fellow student that was pregnant.... I love babies

Yup.. i am not looking for a maid definitely.. just not to be alone.. i will do that.. thanks so glad you understand!

[himher 634]

At least not at your age huh

If you do not have something valuable to add try limiting your nasty thoughts on others cultures to MENA

Wow, must be cultural. I can't imagine wanting to move someone in just because I was pregnant.

[LlamaInvasion 76]

We find babysitters via care.com or sittercity.com, but I know you can also search for full-time nannies there.

Also, I would never in a million years move in a friend or relative. NEVER! I love my family and in-laws, but the golden rule is, "Never hire someone you can't fire!" Grandparents especially (not just my child's, but in general) seem to have their own opinions on how to do things regarding a baby, and you do NOT need someone around who will constantly make you second-guess yourself as a new mother.

[HelenBradley 28]

Congratulations!

I have thought about what happens when it comes time to have a child too...neither my husband or I has family close by.

How about joining a pre-natal group? Something where you can meet other new moms. They might have leads on nanny's or be able to offer support. How about hiring a doula to assist you personally during the birth and maybe after? If you take off the spring semester then your baby would be 6 months old by the fall semester and you can use the colleges day care.

I understand your concern. My father was deployed a lot when we were young and I think it was hard for my Mum, we lived on base so it was easy for my Mum to spend time with other women whose husbands were deployed. Can you make use of the military support in that way?

Take care,

Helen

[Linds&Youssef 56]

try checking out some of the "au pair" sites... the people who sign up on the legit ones have their backgrounds checked, and they're usually fresh out of school and just looking to have somewhere to live and get food while exploring a new culture/geographic area...

[AmyWrites 593]

I'd hire maybe a girl who's a part time student because she cant afford to be a full time one

[J&N* 68]

I totally understand wanting someone around! I had to go to the ER once because I was bleeding and I'm thankful my husband could leave work early and take me. Maybe try to get your mom to come for a few months and then your MIL, like take turns, especially in the last few months before the baby comes. I'm glad your hubby will be home with you during the first trimester! You're a strong girl I'm sure you'll do great and figure something out!

[bigdog 376]

We wish you the best of luck and congratulations.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Thanks everyone! I feel blessed with your concern and Im taking all your advice into consideration! I shall keep you all updated!

[Messybrownhair 251]

Just want to thank everyone for their help! I was able to sort something out. I am going to be living with a classmate when my husband deploys then have found a potential filipina nanny to come in February when the baby comes. She has agreed to my offer, but my mom and husband will interview her first.. Hope it all works out! Thanks again!!

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

Wow, must be cultural. I can't imagine wanting to move someone in just because I was pregnant.

I think it's just individual. I'm American born and raised, and I have friends from many different continents here, and the one underlying factor we all have in common is having small children and being far away from family or any other source of help. And although it's not financially an option for most of us, we would all spring at the chance to have someone around full-time to share the burden of having a small child. Some moms are able to navigate those crazy early days, working/going to school, functioning on 2-hr segments of sleep, trying to deal with a recovering body, preparing nutritious meals, and keeping the home somewhat in order, all by themselves. They are awesome, and they are my heroes. The rest of us really need someone around to help out with this stuff, someone to hold the crying baby while you shower or while you try to eat something, etc. For a lot of us, we have a spouse around to do this. I think the OP is wise to be considering the options, because being alone with a new baby is really rather frightening for most people. Good for you that it's not, though! I wish I shared that bravery...

[Messybrownhair 251]

If my hubby were staying then a nanny would not be needed but I will definitely be shorthanded with him being gone. Plus with this being my first pregnancy who knows how I will handle it. Its better not to be alone. Aside from that, I only plan to be on leave from school for 2 months. I must go back and graduate before he returns from deployment because i dont want my husband to be pressured to support us financially and work after a year of awful deployment. I want him to be home and get to know the baby since he will miss out on so much. I can earn enough on a SLP salary to support us. I wish people would ask for the whole story before judging me as needing a nanny coz of my culture lol.