domineering mother in law

[renecherubs 18]

hi,

i just want to ask if there's any law that states that my husband should not abandon her mother (senior citizen)under any circumstances? my mother in law was petitioned when she was 65 years old. she's now 72 years old. she's a very domineering woman and she wants to dominate our lives including me. she wants me to ask permission from her if i want to sleep over at my friend's house and when i babysit my friend's son for extra income. she said, she is part of the family and she's also responsible for me. so, that's why i need her permission which by the way if i would had asked her permission, she said,she wouldn't let me. i, of course, had asked my husband and he gave me his permission.

anyway, my husband and i are thinking of living separately. i had heard from my mother in law before that she could call the police, if she's abandoned by my husband.because she is a senior citizen and petitioned by my husband. is this really true?

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

*** Moving from Brnging Family to Off Topic ****

Not true. Your husband, as his mother's sponsor, is responsible for her financially if she uses certain means tested government benefits. It does not mean he needs to live with her, or obey her. If he wishes to pay for a senior citizens home, or a home help for her to live alone (assuming she needs same), he can do that. No need to live together.

[aaydrian 479]

Mother by blood/marriage - young/old, she gets annoying or disrespectful, give her the boot.

[rade2rising 205]

i think your mother in law is right. why are you sleeping over at your friend's house??? your husband allow you to do this?? Respect her and abide by her rules.

[X Factor 1,112]

[rade2rising 205]

lolz

[renecherubs 18]

i think your mother in law is right. why are you sleeping over at your friend's house??? your husband allow you to do this?? Respect her and abide by her rules.

i once or twice sleep over just to catch up on old times. but that's it. and then, she hired me to babysit her son which i need to sleep over there cause her work starts at 5:30am while her husband starts at 6:30AM.so, i need to sleep there for 3 days. i was paid for this.i grabbed it for extra income.yes, my husband allowed me to do this.

[rade2rising 205]

i understand but you have to realize your mother in law was brought up in a different time where its not common for this to happen. Aside from this I assume there are other issues. Well easy solution is to get her out of your lives but be careful when a man has to choose between his mother and any other woman the situation normally gets ugly. you tried talking to her about it? about the stress its bringing on your relationship?

[renecherubs 18]

i understand but you have to realize your mother in law was brought up in a different time where its not common for this to happen. Aside from this I assume there are other issues. Well easy solution is to get her out of your lives but be careful when a man has to choose between his mother and any other woman the situation normally gets ugly. you tried talking to her about it? about the stress its bringing on your relationship?

thank you. yes, there are other issues that caused to flare this up. i complained to my husband that my mother in law orders/asks me to do things for her when my husband is not around. she wants me to do her nails, hair, encode some paper works on the computer, massage her etc. for two weeks, i started to go with my husband to work to avoid these. i don't mind doing things for her once in a while but it seems like it has become a habit for her to order me around. maybe she got an idea why i am going with my husband to work and confront my husband. my husband admit that i was going with him to work because i am avoiding her. and so, my mother in law confronted me about this and about my sleep over and my babysitting at my friend's house.

[BlueBonnet 84]

i think your mother in law is right. why are you sleeping over at your friend's house??? your husband allow you to do this?? Respect her and abide by her rules.

Please tell me this reply was a joke !

Never ever live to please another person ... why ... because its impossible.

A relationship, any and all healthy relationships are build on compromises and respect. I want what I want, you want what you want, lets meet in the middle.

Abide by her rules ... what is the OP ? 6 ?!

[aaydrian 479]

thank you. yes, there are other issues that caused to flare this up. i complained to my husband that my mother in law orders/asks me to do things for her when my husband is not around. she wants me to do her nails, hair, encode some paper works on the computer, massage her etc. for two weeks, i started to go with my husband to work to avoid these. i don't mind doing things for her once in a while but it seems like it has become a habit for her to order me around. maybe she got an idea why i am going with my husband to work and confront my husband. my husband admit that i was going with him to work because i am avoiding her. and so, my mother in law confronted me about this and about my sleep over and my babysitting at my friend's house.

Your marriage and your husband. Do whatever the hell you want. If you have attempted at addressing the problem and your MIL still acts like she's top b!tch then you aand your husband put the old hag in her place.

My mother got this same treatment from all her kids. We're all adults and we need to live our lives the way we want without her overbearing input. My sister's MIL, when she had her kid, wanted to dictate how my sis should take care of her child. My sister and her husband rectified this problem by telling the lady to back off, and she did. So you and or your husband can fix this problem.

Edited June 28, 2012 by aaydrian

[renecherubs 18]

thank you for all the replies. my husband and i decided that we need to live separately from her. my husband will going to talk with my MIL when she comes home next week. thank you so much guys. i feel relieved somehow that this will finally end and we (my husband and i) will have our own home, free from annoying MIL dramas.

[rade2rising 205]

glad to hear the matter will be resolved soon

keep us updated

[X Factor 1,112]

thank you for all the replies. my husband and i decided that we need to live separately from her. my husband will going to talk with my MIL when she comes home next week. thank you so much guys. i feel relieved somehow that this will finally end and we (my husband and i) will have our own home, free from annoying MIL dramas.

Super - great news. Now you can celebrate

Edited June 29, 2012 by kennard

[Darnell 8,478]

comes home next week? what?

hey - move out this weekend, empty the house,

and don't tell her where you moved.

don't even show up to pick her up at airport or bus terminal.

just go. you've a unique opportunity for the two of you to escape the tyrannical dictator - but it's a ONE TIME DEAL.

Leave now before she shows up, change yer cell numbers, stop talking to her.

Good Luck !