Divorce

[luvmykids2012 1]

Stupid would be putting yourself and your children in danger because of "stuff." Stuff is replaceable.

Your story is setting off alarm bells with me. It's too familiar (not my situation, but someone very close to me) and if your husband is anything like that man, it could get a lot worse. When someone like that doesn't get what they want, the threats escalate, and eventually they start carrying out the threats. It's not worth it, in my opinion.

I know the injustice stings. But you have to make the smartest choice.

Yes, I totally agree with you. I must make the smartest choice.

He keeps bugging and begging me to come back and also tries to test my Christianity for not forgiving him.

He said that marriage vows is for forever. But then he said the reason I really want this divorce because I must have a new man. It's always his weapon to attack me and his words really make me feel like a h**ker. His messages kept going on all night.

Deep in my heart, I don't want this divorce. Never thought I would have this divorce when I decided to use his last name as my married name. It's my 2nd marriage and I think I've done my very best to save our marriage. I kept telling him before that I didn't wanna die because of feeling so depressed here. America isn't my home. I dont feel that I belong here. The reason I overstayed my visa was him only, but he just love accusing me of cheating. He even said that the counselors, that we went to, had a sex interest on me. Isn't that insane??

I told him last week that if he gets a job and acts as a husband and a loving father for my kids (no high tone voice nor yelling) probably everything would get better because he won't have to check every little thing happening in the apt, such as a small paper on the carpet, a bit of crackers on the couch or just some small things on the dining table.

But then he laughed at me. He said he would never wanna support 3 spoiled brats (me and my 2 kids). It did hurt my feeling a lot. It's shown that he wants me to be with him so that he doesn't have to work. What kind of love is that?

I could keep going on and on. It's such a very stressful feeling, but I know I gotta be strong for the sake of my kids.

Please keep us in your prayers. I really need it. I'm going to meet the attorney today.

Probably I'd just let him have everything, but my documents. Probably I'd give him a lesson and let the attorney do it for me. I still don't know.

Thank you so much again for your time.

I really appreciate it.

God bless

[SOflaherty 40]

Don't let what he says get to you, he is trying to break you down emotionally. I am not religious but my understanding is that the only one fit to decide if you are a good Christian or not would be God, not some low-life who doesn't work and lives off his wife's and her family's money and then turns around and tries to make it look like he's doing YOU the favors.

You deserve so much better than the way this guy is treating you, just remember documents are paper and can be replaced. Get yourself and your kids out of there.

[deleted this acco 44]

sorry who did the kids stayed with when u were gone for two weeks? just wondered?

[luvmykids2012 1]

sorry who did the kids stayed with when u were gone for two weeks? just wondered?

The kids stayed with my childhood friend. She's like a sister to me.

My husband and her had a big argument before because she tried to help me escaped. After that argument, I never bothered her to help me anymore because it did make things worse for me and my kids.

He was upset as well because I trusted her more than him to take of my kids while I was gone. He even messaged her and said so many bad words, but I told her not to response, and just saved all the messages.

OF COURSE I can't trust him!! I have 2 young daughters. How could I let him take care of them?

I have relatives live in CA also, but since we were together, he didn't allow me to contact them because at the very beginning they didn't like him. And now I don't want them to know also what's actually happening to me. I feel so embarrassed that they're right all along.

[luvmykids2012 1]

Don't let what he says get to you, he is trying to break you down emotionally. I am not religious but my understanding is that the only one fit to decide if you are a good Christian or not would be God, not some low-life who doesn't work and lives off his wife's and her family's money and then turns around and tries to make it look like he's doing YOU the favors.

You deserve so much better than the way this guy is treating you, just remember documents are paper and can be replaced. Get yourself and your kids out of there.

Yes, we don't live with him anymore. Eventhou he keeps asking me where I am, I don't tell him.

I got my new phone #, but I don't tell him either. So every communication between us is thru emails.

I really need to end this as soon as possible and disappear forever from him.

Thank you so much. I won't allow him to drag me down anymore. Probably if I didn't have any kid, it would be such an adventure for me. But I do have kids who really depend fully on me.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Where is the biological Father in all of this? Could the kids go and stay with him while you sort through stuff?

[DandT14 272]

You simply can't believe anything he says, or any promises he makes. If you were to return to him, it would mean risking your daughters' safety and well-being. You can't take that chance. You also can't let them grow up watching such an unhealthy relationship - it would mess them up for a long time.

You know what the right thing to do is. You're already doing it, just don't let him derail you by offering you hope. Good luck with the attorney.

[FinallyDone:) 10]

I am sorry to hear this. i say divorce him and move on as much as you can

[Aviator56h 6]

Sounds like he has bi-polor disorder with his up and down mood swings.

[Aviator56h 6]

Sounds like he has bi-polor disorder with all his up's and down swing moods.

[Sandra G. 5,057]

Sounds he is an abuser! You and your children deserve better.

[NYCGirl18 1]

I truly hope that your story is exaggerated. I feel so bad for your kids.

I know it's hard to leave stuff that's yours to some ####**le that doesn't deserve it. But if I were in your position, I'd scoop up my kids and get on the first plane back to my mother's. Starting over sucks, but I'd get as far away from that man as possible. He sounds dangerous. What good is a greencard if you have to live in fear?

^I agree with everything stated above.

Good luck. I'll pray that you stay safe.

[Calicolom 266]

My Grand Mother was a smart Lady, she used to say, sooner or later he has to go to sleep…………………………………

[teg 6]

Divorce takes 6 months to become final, if no one contests. Once you file, he isn't supposed to do anything to your joint property without your consent, but that's difficult to enforce.

You can request to go back to your maiden name when the divorce is final. It's in the judgement paperwork.

Depends on the state. Mine was done in less than 30 days with no contests

Thank you so much.

I'll keep it in mind.

It depends on the state my divorce took less than 30 days not contested though.

[DandT14 272]

Depends on the state. Mine was done in less than 30 days with no contests

That's true, it does depend on the state. My answer referred to the law in California, which is where she is.

My Grand Mother was a smart Lady, she used to say, sooner or later he has to go to sleep…………………………………

Problem is, so does she...