• My K1 status wife now says she wants to leave the US

[USAmale 1]

My wife of four months now says that she is not happy here, she has problems with her daughter to deal with etc. She now is saying she simply wants to leave the US and return home to Lima, although I am in the process of completing her 485, 765, and 131.

I haven't sent them in yet., so her status is still K1.

because of an unhappy situation created by her minor daughter who is living with us, our homelife is now really strained.

Nobody else will take the daughter, so my wife wants to leave here, return to a job with her ex-employer, and she now says she is ambivalent about being together with me again since the whole experience has been so negative.

We have been married for 4 months, and I brought her here on a fiance visa, so her status is still K1.

She has also informed me that I will need to send her money each month in Peru.

Basically I feel that I have done everything for her and her daughter, and that I am now being used as a cash machine.

If she leaves the country with only her K1 visa, is she basically abandoning the marriage and the US forever?

She is giving me no choice in the matter, she now says she just wants to leave. Can I divorce her in absentia if she leaves in this manner, to never return?

I am completely dazed and confused at this point.

Thanks,

USAmale

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

**** Moving from K1 to Effects of Major Changes ****

No-one can tell you whether she is abandoning the marriage for good, though if she is set on going back and you are not willing to join her, it certainly sounds like it. But, it has been a short time and maybe the homesickness combined with the situation is just too much for her. Have you/ has she looked into other options, such as marriage counselling, sending the daughter to a relative or boarding school or similar?

If she leaves without approved AOS or at least AP, she cannot come back unless you petition for a CR-1 spousal visa for her. You can divorce in absentia, how exactly that works will depend on the state you live in and you should consult a divorce lawyer about that. I doubt you will have to pay spousal support to her in another country after such a short marriage, but again, the divorce lawyer will know for sure.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

So sorry to hear this. I hope you can work something out.

[EminTX 131]

I am so sorry for your situation.

Are there other Peruvians in your city that she can spend time with to get a different (better!) perspective and/or to cheer her up in her disilusionment?

Did she marry YOU or your country/situation/status/wallet? What about you? How committed are each of y'all to making this work? I am sure that you two discussed before marrying how you two would handle it if things got crazy. What plans did you two decide on together in advance to fall back on when the going got tough? Is she refusing the plan or is there another reason for giving up?

Please keep us posted.

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

Your wife does not have a k-1 visa or k-1 status. She is currently out of status.

[aaron2020 11,651]

My wife of four months now says that she is not happy here, she has problems with her daughter to deal with etc. She now is saying she simply wants to leave the US and return home to Lima, although I am in the process of completing her 485, 765, and 131.

I haven't sent them in yet., so her status is still K1.

because of an unhappy situation created by her minor daughter who is living with us, our homelife is now really strained.

Nobody else will take the daughter, so my wife wants to leave here, return to a job with her ex-employer, and she now says she is ambivalent about being together with me again since the whole experience has been so negative.

We have been married for 4 months, and I brought her here on a fiance visa, so her status is still K1.

She has also informed me that I will need to send her money each month in Peru.

Basically I feel that I have done everything for her and her daughter, and that I am now being used as a cash machine.

If she leaves the country with only her K1 visa, is she basically abandoning the marriage and the US forever?

She is giving me no choice in the matter, she now says she just wants to leave. Can I divorce her in absentia if she leaves in this manner, to never return?

I am completely dazed and confused at this point.

Thanks,

USAmale

Since you have not file to adjust your wife's status, she became a K-1 overstay after her 90 days in the US. Currently, she is not a K-1 visa holder. She is a visa overstay. Essentially, her presence in the US is illegal at the moment.

No one can tell you if she is abandoning the marriage. That's a personal matter.

If she leaves the US, she will not be allowed to return without a valid visa. She can't use the K-1 again since it is only for a single entry, and she has already used it. You would need to file an I-130 and wait 6-12 months for her to get an immigration visa.

If she is ambivalent about the marriage and she is leaving, why would you send her any money???? You have no obligation to send her money.

After she leaves, you can file for an uncontested divorce based on abandonment. You may need to serve her in her country. In addition, she may be able to hire a US attorney to contest the divorce.

You say that she is giving you no choice. You certainly do have choices. You can tell her that if she leaves and abandon the relationship, then you will choose not to send her any money and choose to file for divorce based on her abandonment.

Marriage is not a dictatorship. No one spouse should be able to dictate terms to the other spouse. Marriage is about compromise and doing what is best for both spouses.

If she wants to leave the relationship, then let her. She can take what she came to the marriage with. With a four months marriage, she will not be entitled to much if any of your assets.

Edited June 23, 2012 by aaron2020

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Every state allows a single party divorce. The process varies between the states, but usually takes longer than a divorce where both parties are involved because the states usually require that an attempt be made to contact the absent spouse, and allow time for the absent spouse to respond. Talk to a divorce lawyer.

You don't have to give her a nickel unless a judge orders it. In most states, they don't order spousal support in a marriage of short duration. If you don't have any kids together then it's unlikely they'll order you to pay her anything at all. However, in my opinion, you have a moral obligation to buy her and her daughter a ticket back to Peru.

[Cathi 5,748]

if she leaves now she cannot come back unless you file an i 130/cr1. If she plans to never come back why would you send her money every month?

[rlogan 2,036]

I am completely dazed and confused at this point.

You're a cash machine, not a husband? Inform USCIS you are rescinding the affadavit of support, are not adjusting her status, and getting divorced. I'd try to file the divorce papers before she leaves.

She's going to use her "love" as a manipulative weapon. Tears too, guilt-tripping, shaming you, etc. Don't fall for any of it. Take control away from her. Be aware of her staging a false VAWA claim against you. These predators have no mercy. I would not be living with them while awaiting departure and acting to shut off all potential financial swindles she could pull. I'd agree with the obligation to buy their tickets home, but she can't dictate terms.

With a sociopath or manipulator you don't argue with them: Go no further than "This is my decision". She claimed to immigrate for marriage but bailed and just wants you to send money, not be her husband. If you argue with her about it she'll wear you down and confuse you. Make the decision, commit to it, and just do it. It isn't clear what the "situation" is with the minor daughter but it doesn't really matter what the incompatibility is, does it?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Every state allows a single party divorce. The process varies between the states, but usually takes longer than a divorce where both parties are involved because the states usually require that an attempt be made to contact the absent spouse, and allow time for the absent spouse to respond. Talk to a divorce lawyer.

You don't have to give her a nickel unless a judge orders it. In most states, they don't order spousal support in a marriage of short duration. If you don't have any kids together then it's unlikely they'll order you to pay her anything at all. However, in my opinion, you have a moral obligation to buy her and her daughter a ticket back to Peru.

I disagree with that. Had the OP been the one to initiate the dissolution then yes.

Touchy situation and I continue to wish the family the best ahead.

[Vegas1 3]

Sounds like you're being used ... from the beginning. Let her go back, tell her you will send money monthly (but don't), when she leaves you are through with her, and you don't owe her a thing so forget about her. Just get her out of the country and your responsibilities to her are over.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You're a cash machine, not a husband? Inform USCIS you are rescinding the affadavit of support, are not adjusting her status, and getting divorced. I'd try to file the divorce papers before she leaves.

He has nothing to withdraw. He hasn't filed AOS yet (per his OP, second paragraph).

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I disagree with that. Had the OP been the one to initiate the dissolution then yes.

Touchy situation and I continue to wish the family the best ahead.

As I said, "In my opinion...moral obligation...".

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

As I said, "In my opinion...moral obligation...".

Note to self: never disagree with the opinons of HIM JimVaPhuong.

I hope OP comes back to update. I hate these cases where the OP simply vanishes.

Edited June 25, 2012 by Gowon

[rade2rising 205]

send her back to peru immediately and file the divorce and forget her