DAILY THREAD

[Peace.... 281]

Yes, it just sounds like harassment and dickwadery. Although i doubt "dickwadery" is the correct term to bring up at the review lol.

hubby just walked through the door and was reading your post and said "dickwadery" what are you girls talking about something bad LOLOLOL.. guess he never heard of that word before.

[Mithra 1,185]

Lol! I hope this situation gets resolved and the guy leaves your husband alone. The guy sounds young and immature.

[Ban Hammer 13,403]

Looking for some advice and I guess this is the place to start, so any helpful advice would be appreciated.

My husband has been working now for three months and is doing a great job and has been acknowledged at work as well. His co workers really like him and some are very interested in Islam and will ask him a few questions here and there. However, there is always someone who will take it a bit further. He has a co worker that he has to work closely with everyday, in the beginning the guy would gradually ask about Islam. From there, his questions were getting more involved and kinda making Mohammed feel a little uneasy as to how to answer them without offending him. Like for example, a while back ago he told Mohammed, I know where you go when you leave for 5 minutes or so, your off to pray. He then said, who do you pray too and why so many times a day? Mohammed explained a little bit, and the guy said oh then you don't believe in the same God we do, and that's to bad. Mohammed really didn't want to speak about religion at work as he knows exactly what can happen with others. Mohammed then asked him, well who do you pray to, and the guy said Jesus. Mohammed said okay and left the conversation with just that, the guy was not happy and said wait, you never said who you prayed to, and Mohammed said God. They guy said well that is who I pray to as well, then Mohammed said, you said Jesus, and of course he went on to talk about Jesus and God as one. I am not here to justify what anyone believes in so please don't judge me on that, I am here just stating what is happening with my husband at work and how he should handle this situation. The next day, the guy asked about women in Islam, he asked about the mosque and if women could pray there too. He has been getting more rude each day with his questions, and Mohammed has already said to him, I would rather not speak about religion if that okay with you. He also barges in on Mohammed during the afternoon prayer and tries to interrupt him by speaking to him and he is very aware that Mohammed is on his break. Everything he brings to lunch, the guy says it's nasty looking and Mohammed has now left the break room and eats alone in a small room which he actually is starting to like as he feels shy eating in front of others with bread LOL and no fork or spoon but that is the Moroccan in him. Now the guy is just rude to Mohammed and I feel sad for him as he is really trying to make friends and this one guy just makes his day suck at work.

There is another guy who is very nice and wants to always go with Mohammed to the Mosque on Friday to see how muslims pray LOL. He told him he is welcome.

Has any of your spouses had to deal with anyone who is this rude. The list of questions are numerous each day and I could sit here all day and right them, but I think you know where I am coming from. I can only tell Mohammed to tell him he would rather not speak about religion but nothing is working so far.

Any suggestions for my hubby?

this guy is creating a hostile work environment for your husband. as mentioned earlier, hr is the route.

[Cathi 5,771]

Hello everyone. I leave in 2 days for Jordan and my husband's interview. I'll be back August 2. Wish us luck. Take care while I'm away!!!

[Cathi 5,771]

Looking for some advice and I guess this is the place to start, so any helpful advice would be appreciated.

My husband has been working now for three months and is doing a great job and has been acknowledged at work as well. His co workers really like him and some are very interested in Islam and will ask him a few questions here and there. However, there is always someone who will take it a bit further. He has a co worker that he has to work closely with everyday, in the beginning the guy would gradually ask about Islam. From there, his questions were getting more involved and kinda making Mohammed feel a little uneasy as to how to answer them without offending him. Like for example, a while back ago he told Mohammed, I know where you go when you leave for 5 minutes or so, your off to pray. He then said, who do you pray too and why so many times a day? Mohammed explained a little bit, and the guy said oh then you don't believe in the same God we do, and that's to bad. Mohammed really didn't want to speak about religion at work as he knows exactly what can happen with others. Mohammed then asked him, well who do you pray to, and the guy said Jesus. Mohammed said okay and left the conversation with just that, the guy was not happy and said wait, you never said who you prayed to, and Mohammed said God. They guy said well that is who I pray to as well, then Mohammed said, you said Jesus, and of course he went on to talk about Jesus and God as one. I am not here to justify what anyone believes in so please don't judge me on that, I am here just stating what is happening with my husband at work and how he should handle this situation. The next day, the guy asked about women in Islam, he asked about the mosque and if women could pray there too. He has been getting more rude each day with his questions, and Mohammed has already said to him, I would rather not speak about religion if that okay with you. He also barges in on Mohammed during the afternoon prayer and tries to interrupt him by speaking to him and he is very aware that Mohammed is on his break. Everything he brings to lunch, the guy says it's nasty looking and Mohammed has now left the break room and eats alone in a small room which he actually is starting to like as he feels shy eating in front of others with bread LOL and no fork or spoon but that is the Moroccan in him. Now the guy is just rude to Mohammed and I feel sad for him as he is really trying to make friends and this one guy just makes his day suck at work.

There is another guy who is very nice and wants to always go with Mohammed to the Mosque on Friday to see how muslims pray LOL. He told him he is welcome.

Has any of your spouses had to deal with anyone who is this rude. The list of questions are numerous each day and I could sit here all day and right them, but I think you know where I am coming from. I can only tell Mohammed to tell him he would rather not speak about religion but nothing is working so far.

Any suggestions for my hubby?

D, this really broke my heart. I don't know why I'm surprised that in this day and age this kind of thing still happens, but unfortunately it does. I agree with others who said he really needs to tell HR. and LOL@ eating with bread and not with a fork or spoon, I can so relate to that. Do you honestly think people would say anything to him about that? It wouldn't bother me seeing someone eating like that, even if I wasn't used to seeing it all the time. I can remember the first morning when I went to see my husband the first time, his mom had put all the food on the table, she handed me a piece of bread and pushed the food towards me trying to tell me to eat in Arabic, I was looking everywhere for a plate and a fork and a knife...LOL..needless to say I had no clue ...ahhhhh...I love their culture, I really do. I will be so happy the be back there in a few days!!

[Peace.... 281]

D, this really broke my heart. I don't know why I'm surprised that in this day and age this kind of thing still happens, but unfortunately it does. I agree with others who said he really needs to tell HR. and LOL@ eating with bread and not with a fork or spoon, I can so relate to that. Do you honestly think people would say anything to him about that? It wouldn't bother me seeing someone eating like that, even if I wasn't used to seeing it all the time. I can remember the first morning when I went to see my husband the first time, his mom had put all the food on the table, she handed me a piece of bread and pushed the food towards me trying to tell me to eat in Arabic, I was looking everywhere for a plate and a fork and a knife...LOL..needless to say I had no clue ...ahhhhh...I love their culture, I really do. I will be so happy the be back there in a few days!!

Yeah the whole eating with bread and no fork has made him bashful for sure around others. He said it is mostly upper management dressed in suits etc. and he just feels a bit shy as they all eat so properly LOL. I told Mohammed please don't change who you are as this was one of my biggest fears when you started working and seeing how other Americans do things and I don't want you to be a follower just to fit in. Don't get me wrong, he uses forks in restaurants and so forth, but when he has a Tajine at work, it's bread only.

I think the women at work wonder why he cannot try any of their goodies when they bring them in. Each day, someone says hey Mohammed here try one, and Mohammed politely says no thank you and they say why not? don't you like such and such. One day he texted me and said what is bourbon balls? I replied, runnnnnn LOL. He said, what am I suppose to say to these women without hurting their feelings? He is like, what if there is alcohol in the sweets are pork in the meatballs LOL. I said well it is very common here in America we do use bacon and pork in many ingredients so it's best you just politely say no thank you as you always do. He just feels so embarrassed when he declines anything they bring to work, but he is a label reader for sure and if there is a chance that there is a small percentage of anything that he is not allow to consume he will back away from it.

The company had a grand opening as they built a new store and they were having all the employees gather and have drinks (alcohol) and catered food this past weekend. Everyone asked if he was coming and he said most likely I will not be there. The rude guy made fun of him while he was off work this weekend and said to others what a boring life he must live as he can't even drink or be around anyone that drinks. He also said, I thought he was black but it turns out he is white but why is he white if he is from Africa? See this is just the kind of ignorance he is dealing with each day. I don't want to be that motherly wife to him because of my age difference and all, but I do want him to take the bull by the horns and deal with this man properly by all means.

Mohammed said at work yesterday, the boss came to him and asked if things were okay today, and they said they are thinking about sending AJ to another location to work. I wonder if some one has told the management about AJ's behavior towards Mohammed? Well good riddance to him if they relocate him.

So thanks everyone for your replies and Mohammed said thank you too.

Edited July 10, 2012 by foreverwaiting

[Peace.... 281]

Lol! I hope this situation gets resolved and the guy leaves your husband alone. The guy sounds young and immature.

I sure hope so too Mithra, it's been a little hard on him lately as he really tries to make friends.

[Mithra 1,185]

I hope they talk to the guy about his behavior before sending him elsewhere. He needs to be told that how he was acting is wrong. I feel bad for your husband because trying to fit in is tough even as an American. He shouldn't have to change his ways to suit others. Do you live in a community that doesn't have very many foreigners?

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Some people who routinely consume certain items feel threatened or insulted by people who eschew those items. They take it as a personal slight and become defensive. I encountered this many times when I was vegetarian - some people would feel impelled to try to shove meat at me, or make comments about how silly vegetarians are, etc. Understand, I never ever insulted people's food or made preachy comments about how they shouldn't eat it or said it wasn't healthy, etc. - I just presented it as a personal choice I had made for myself. Still, some perceived this as somehow making a negative judgment about their choices. So these acts were mechanisms to reinforce their own choices to themselves.

Differences in religion may be perceived the same way.

These people are very petty and insecure. In their minds, it becomes "Oh, so you think you're better" and looked at as an affront and a challenge. Avoid these people, and refuse to engage with them in discussions about personal things. As advised, document attempts to harass, and report them.

[msheesha 548]

I hope they talk to the guy about his behavior before sending him elsewhere. He needs to be told that how he was acting is wrong. I feel bad for your husband because trying to fit in is tough even as an American. He shouldn't have to change his ways to suit others. Do you live in a community that doesn't have very many foreigners?

Some people who routinely consume certain items feel threatened or insulted by people who eschew those items. They take it as a personal slight and become defensive. I encountered this many times when I was vegetarian - some people would feel impelled to try to shove meat at me, or make comments about how silly vegetarians are, etc. Understand, I never ever insulted people's food or made preachy comments about how they shouldn't eat it or said it wasn't healthy, etc. - I just presented it as a personal choice I had made for myself. Still, some perceived this as somehow making a negative judgment about their choices. So these acts were mechanisms to reinforce their own choices to themselves.

Differences in religion may be perceived the same way.

These people are very petty and insecure. In their minds, it becomes "Oh, so you think you're better" and looked at as an affront and a challenge. Avoid these people, and refuse to engage with them in discussions about personal things. As advised, document attempts to harass, and report them.

[/quote

[rade2rising 205]

hi how is everyone doing?

[Lisamarie 79]

I sure hope they do that! That must be awful for him, I'm really sorry to hear that. There is ignorance everywhere, and some people need a lesson in manners and respect. I hope things get better for him.

D, this really broke my heart. I don't know why I'm surprised that in this day and age this kind of thing still happens, but unfortunately it does. I agree with others who said he really needs to tell HR. and LOL@ eating with bread and not with a fork or spoon, I can so relate to that. Do you honestly think people would say anything to him about that? It wouldn't bother me seeing someone eating like that, even if I wasn't used to seeing it all the time. I can remember the first morning when I went to see my husband the first time, his mom had put all the food on the table, she handed me a piece of bread and pushed the food towards me trying to tell me to eat in Arabic, I was looking everywhere for a plate and a fork and a knife...LOL..needless to say I had no clue ...ahhhhh...I love their culture, I really do. I will be so happy the be back there in a few days!!

Yeah the whole eating with bread and no fork has made him bashful for sure around others. He said it is mostly upper management dressed in suits etc. and he just feels a bit shy as they all eat so properly LOL. I told Mohammed please don't change who you are as this was one of my biggest fears when you started working and seeing how other Americans do things and I don't want you to be a follower just to fit in. Don't get me wrong, he uses forks in restaurants and so forth, but when he has a Tajine at work, it's bread only.

I think the women at work wonder why he cannot try any of their goodies when they bring them in. Each day, someone says hey Mohammed here try one, and Mohammed politely says no thank you and they say why not? don't you like such and such. One day he texted me and said what is bourbon balls? I replied, runnnnnn LOL. He said, what am I suppose to say to these women without hurting their feelings? He is like, what if there is alcohol in the sweets are pork in the meatballs LOL. I said well it is very common here in America we do use bacon and pork in many ingredients so it's best you just politely say no thank you as you always do. He just feels so embarrassed when he declines anything they bring to work, but he is a label reader for sure and if there is a chance that there is a small percentage of anything that he is not allow to consume he will back away from it.

The company had a grand opening as they built a new store and they were having all the employees gather and have drinks (alcohol) and catered food this past weekend. Everyone asked if he was coming and he said most likely I will not be there. The rude guy made fun of him while he was off work this weekend and said to others what a boring life he must live as he can't even drink or be around anyone that drinks. He also said, I thought he was black but it turns out he is white but why is he white if he is from Africa? See this is just the kind of ignorance he is dealing with each day. I don't want to be that motherly wife to him because of my age difference and all, but I do want him to take the bull by the horns and deal with this man properly by all means.

Mohammed said at work yesterday, the boss came to him and asked if things were okay today, and they said they are thinking about sending AJ to another location to work. I wonder if some one has told the management about AJ's behavior towards Mohammed? Well good riddance to him if they relocate him.

So thanks everyone for your replies and Mohammed said thank you too.

Edited July 10, 2012 by Lisamarie

[Peace.... 281]

1341929288[/url]' post='5514089']

I hope they talk to the guy about his behavior before sending him elsewhere. He needs to be told that how he was acting is wrong. I feel bad for your husband because trying to fit in is tough even as an American. He shouldn't have to change his ways to suit others. Do you live in a community that doesn't have very many foreigners?

Gosh if I could count how many foreigners live in our community and nearby, I would be counting all day. We also live very close to the mosque where the community is mostly Muslims.

This morning, Mohammed left his phone on his desk and I sent a text. This AJ guy went over to his desk while he was away, and saw my photo and picked up his phone and looked at it. Mohammed returned and AJ said is that your wife and made some comments. Mohammed walked straight up to his face and said you may not like who I am as a person, but if you ever speak one word again about my wife, you and I will take this to a whole new level. I assume Mohammed has just had enough by now and so have I, I wish I could put on my Alabama boots on and swift kick his

Edited July 10, 2012 by foreverwaiting

[msheesha 548]

He should report it to HR so it is on record that he is the complaining party. If anything happens, there is a record that your husband complained and asked HR for help with the guy. If the guy escalates the situation and antagonizes your husband to the point of "taking it to another level", this AJ guy can then complain to HR. He needs to get in on record as soon as possible, in my opinion.

[Mithra 1,185]

Agreed. Your husband will end up getting himself into trouble if this doesn't get dealt with properly and soon.

He should report it to HR so it is on record that he is the complaining party. If anything happens, there is a record that your husband complained and asked HR for help with the guy. If the guy escalates the situation and antagonizes your husband to the point of "taking it to another level", this AJ guy can then complain to HR. He needs to get in on record as soon as possible, in my opinion.