Talking to your teenager about sex

[LuzyC 0]

I have a 15 years old son and I want Him to know and learn about being responsible not just for himself but for others too in terms of err..sex (im paranoid yes)here in Philippines ..I saw a lot of teenager who have babies already..they still babies and having babies and so on..and top of that they are still under their parents roof and they share the burdens..I dont wnat that happened to my son but Im having a hard time to open a topic about sex I always check Rob's room and his things, u know typical mom, and I saw some x-mags and cd's..ekkkk..but he is only 15 ?

I always let Gary talk to Robin anything and everything and My son respect and obey Gary's advice, but not all the time. I ask Gary to talk to him sometimes but I am with my son day and night and just dont know what to do sometimes.

I dont want to sound like I encourage him but I dont want to embarass him also.. I believe in being open but I dont want to take away the innocence of a childhood and the chance to discover things by himself..

Oh well Im just your ordinary mom worry about her only child..

[Chuckles 0]

I agree, it is definitly time to talk to him. I do not think his curiousty is 'abnormal' in regards to the porn, but it can be unhealthy if that is his only 'image' of sex. He really needs someone to talk to him.

The only advice for that I feel qualified to give is that it would probably be better if he heard it from a male role model and not his mom... hearing that from his mom might creep him out!

[Carol&Marc 0]

I have a 15 years old son and I want Him to know and learn about being responsible not just for himself but for others too in terms of err..sex (im paranoid yes)here in Philippines ..I saw a lot of teenager who have babies already..they still babies and having babies and so on..and top of that they are still under their parents roof and they share the burdens..I dont wnat that happened to my son but Im having a hard time to open a topic about sex I always check Rob's room and his things, u know typical mom, and I saw some x-mags and cd's..ekkkk..but he is only 15 ?

I always let Gary talk to Robin anything and everything and My son respect and obey Gary's advice, but not all the time. I ask Gary to talk to him sometimes but I am with my son day and night and just dont know what to do sometimes.

I dont want to sound like I encourage him but I dont want to embarass him also.. I believe in being open but I dont want to take away the innocence of a childhood and the chance to discover things by himself..

Oh well Im just your ordinary mom worry about her only child..

At 15 he probably already knows alot! I would talk more about the consequences of unprotected sex,what ever you do DONT take the mags away! lol

The only advice for that I feel qualified to give is that it would probably be better if he heard it from a male role model and not his mom... hearing that from his mom might creep him out!

very true

Edited October 17, 2006 by Carol&Marc

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

does he have a male relative that he gets along with well? that is usaully the best bet. someone with an established relationship makes it a lot easier and "real". in any case, whoever gets to do it, it should be done. those talks are important.

good luck.

Daniel

:energetic:

[LuzyC 0]

I agree, it is definitly time to talk to him. I do not think his curiousty is 'abnormal' in regards to the porn, but it can be unhealthy if that is his only 'image' of sex. He really needs someone to talk to him.

The only advice for that I feel qualified to give is that it would probably be better if he heard it from a male role model and not his mom... hearing that from his mom might creep him out!

I talk to my son that curiousity is normal but never apply that curiousity to young girls yet, He can use his hands if he wants to but oh boy talking like that makes me SWEAT!! .

Gary is the right person for Robin to talk to..

[Kez/JWolf 6]

At 15 he will already have found out alot for himself..... you need to make sure he knows how to keep himself safe and how to keep his partner safe.... this is not easy to do if there is only mom to do this... another male would be better...

Also you may want to stop checking all his stuff, give him some privcey and respect heis XXX mags are a normal part of being sexualy aware and nothing to worry about... but you would not like him to go checking all your stuff so treat him with respect and he will treat you with respect....

Kezzie

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Luzy, I was raised Catholic and was told sex before marriage was a sin, but using contraceptives was also a sin. I don't think that works in today's world...I don't think it actually worked, ever. I think it's a great ideal to wait until marriage before having sex, but not everyone will achieve that goal. So I've tried to tell my teenagers to really try to wait for that special someone, but when the temptation is too great never to have unprotected sex.

I noticed that there are a lot of girls that get pregnant outside of marriage in the Philippines, and many of the fathers of those babies have more gotten more than just one woman pregnant, yet the country is predominantly Catholic. From what I know, there's very little contraceptive use combined with what seems like a high tolerance for promiscuity, especially among the guys. I'd try to instill in Robin that kind of behavior is irresponsible.

The other part is talking to him about not putting himself into situations that could lead to an unwanted pregancy. I think the more teenagers are involved in things like sports, music, etc., they are more focused on their future instead loafing around looking for trouble, whatever that may be.

Edited October 17, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky

[rob&ana 0]

Luzy, I was raised Catholic and was told sex before marriage was a sin, but using contraceptives was also a sin. I don't think that works in today's world...I don't think it actually worked, ever. I think it's a great ideal to wait until marriage before having sex, but not everyone will achieve that goal. So I've tried to tell my teenagers to really try to wait for that special someone, but when the temptation is too great never to have unprotected sex.

I noticed that there are a lot of girls that get pregnant outside of marriage in the Philippines, and many of the fathers of those babies have more gotten more than just one woman pregnant, yet the country is predominantly Catholic. From what I know, there's very little contraceptive use combined with what seems like a high tolerance for promiscuity, especially among the guys. I'd try to instill in Robin that kind of behavior is irresponsible.

The other part is talking to him about not putting himself into situations that could lead to an unwanted pregancy. I think the more teenagers are involved in things like sports, music, etc., they are more focused on their future instead loafing around looking for trouble, whatever that may be.

I agree with this, I would leave out the personal satisfaction topic. I think it's kind of invasive (on his privacy that is). But talk to him about being responsible for himself, how getting a girl pregnant would have consequences in his life. Talk to him about the hardships of raising a child, tell him about all the things he might miss because he's got a child and he would be responsible for it. And then, and since you're going thru the immigration process and I presume you're bringing him also, tell him how it'd be so terrible for him to have a child and have to leave him behind.

I have no children, but I was a teenager, and I my mom was always pretty open about sex and the consequences it brought, and even though she didnt set fear with her comments, I surely didnt want to go through it until I could be responsible for the consequences.

Just my 2 cents...

[Cristy 4]

You should have started talking to him way before this. He can probably teach you things now.

I started with my kids little by little in age appropriate ways from about age 4 or 5. Starting with where do babies come from?

[anya-D 8]

Luzy, I was raised Catholic and was told sex before marriage was a sin, but using contraceptives was also a sin. I don't think that works in today's world...I don't think it actually worked, ever. I think it's a great ideal to wait until marriage before having sex, but not everyone will achieve that goal. So I've tried to tell my teenagers to really try to wait for that special someone, but when the temptation is too great never to have unprotected sex.

I noticed that there are a lot of girls that get pregnant outside of marriage in the Philippines, and many of the fathers of those babies have more gotten more than just one woman pregnant, yet the country is predominantly Catholic. From what I know, there's very little contraceptive use combined with what seems like a high tolerance for promiscuity, especially among the guys. I'd try to instill in Robin that kind of behavior is irresponsible.

The other part is talking to him about not putting himself into situations that could lead to an unwanted pregancy. I think the more teenagers are involved in things like sports, music, etc., they are more focused on their future instead loafing around looking for trouble, whatever that may be.

second that...

umm... now i'm afraid to have childrent hough

[Mirorgate 0]

Just tell himn straight out

"I'm to young to be a grandmother, and if I become one before you are able to $$ support a woman and children... I helped bring you ito this world.. I can help take you out... you understand where I'm going with this? Good. sleep lightly ... cause I tell you I know I will be "

[jamrok 0]

Just tell himn straight out

"I'm to young to be a grandmother, and if I become one before you are able to $$ support a woman and children... I helped bring you ito this world.. I can help take you out... you understand where I'm going with this? Good. sleep lightly ... cause I tell you I know I will be "

Luz

I feel your pain.....i have a teenage son and i suffer the same anxiety. Be open with

him, stress the responsibilities that goes with sex but NEVER STOP checking his room.

Leave him with his porn stuff....pretend like you dont see them. he is a normal teen.

Good Luck.

[Yodrak 7]

LuzyC,

He's going to lose his innocence one way or another. Better you take it away than some pregnant teenage girl.

If he's got those mags and CDs, then his innocence is long gone anyway and it's you who may be in danger of losing your innocence.

Yodrak

I have a 15 years old son and I want Him to know and learn about being responsible not just for himself but for others too in terms of err..sex ..... I always check Rob's room and his things, u know typical mom, and I saw some x-mags and cd's ..... I believe in being open but I dont want to take away the innocence of a childhood and the chance to discover things by himself..

[MrMrsKnight 0]

If I were you I'd talk about facts, like responsibility and how none of you are ready to deal with a baby or a disease. Resume the conversation to that... babies and disease.

He's 15, so if he doesn't already know about the good aspects of sex (which of course he does a little, since he has the mags), I'm sure he will soon. And he won't want to learn it from his mom

Stick to the facts.

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

Wait until he gets in the American public school system, he will teach you a thing or two. Mine come home telling me way more than I want to know.