MY HUSBAND REFUSE TO SIGN THE I751

[NINA80 9]

Hi,

My husband and i have been together since 2001. 2010 we got married and he filed for my GC which will expire august 2012. my husband suffer from depression and sleeping disorder. he is abusing me mentally and physically. and the last time was yesterday he beat me up till I was bleeding. i refused to call the police on him cuz of my culture where being divorced is a sham and also cuz i do have 15 months old twins and i don't want them to see their father being talken by the police. i know that divorce is the best thing for me and my kids as i don't see any improvement on this mental health . also, I don't want my kids to see their mother beating up by their dad when they grow up. today he told me that he wants to divorce and se said the word( we are muslim and in Islam divorce accrue when man say it to a woman. so basically, according to my religion we are divorced now). and he asked me to find a lawyer to prepare the papers. also he refused to sing my I-751 he said that the only way he will is if i give up all my rights on my children. i know he wants to take them back home to his mom. i can believe not getting my green card but i cant believe giving up my twins.

since we are not legally divorced what are my chances of getting the green card?

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Right now it isn't about you, your husband or a green card. It is about those twins. You need to do what is best for your the two of them. This may mean haveing their father arrested. They will forget the one event and not repeated beatings of their mother.

[Boiler 46,196]

Right now it isn't about you, your husband or a green card. It is about those twins. You need to do what is best for your the two of them. This may mean haveing their father arrested. They will forget the one event and not repeated beatings of their mother.

The Green Card is the last of your issues. Focus on the most important first.

[arthur 0]

Marriage is full of ups and down. Be patient and speak to your husband, try to explain to him that you getting the GC

will not affect anything in your marital life with him. He is obviously afraid that you have been westernized since according to you both of

you are core muslims. If you know what your culture demands that is not against the USA law do it to save your marriage.

LEGAL:

You can apply for VAWA or go to any catholic charities and they will help you through that rout.

It is a way you get your green card (Violence against woman act).

[Darnell 8,479]

study the i-751 - there's a special box to tick for divorce.

[NINA80 9]

thks for all the replay!

study the i-751 - there's a special box to tick for divorce.

but we are not divorced yet. and if we filed now for divorce it will take couple months. and my green card expiere 08/31. he made the choice clear either the twins or the GC

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

but we are not divorced yet. and if we filed now for divorce it will take couple months. and my green card expiere 08/31. he made the choice clear either the twins or the GC

Nina, do not let your husband dictate your life choices and make crazy ultimatums. Babies or your GC? Please... That is despicable. You can file for ROC now by yourself with a divorce waiver, and they will send you an RFE for the divorce paper. You can send it in at that time (months down the road). Or, you can file ROC by yourself based on being an abused person. Please read the I-751 instructions for your options. Your are a Legal Permanent Resident and you have rights that are not dictated by your husband's evil machinations. He cannot make you make such a choice as babies or GC. You DO NOT need him to sign the I-751.

Please take care of yourself and your babies. There are abused women's shelters that can help you. You should not stay with your husband when he beats you, and already religiously divorced you. You are better than that. Best of luck, and stay safe.

[NINA80 9]

Nina, do not let your husband dictate your life choices and make crazy ultimatums. Babies or your GC? Please... That is despicable. You can file for ROC now by yourself with a divorce waiver, and they will send you an RFE for the divorce paper. You can send it in at that time (months down the road). Or, you can file ROC by yourself based on being an abused person. Please read the I-751 instructions for your options. Your are a Legal Permanent Resident and you have rights that are not dictated by your husband's evil machinations. He cannot make you make such a choice as babies or GC. You DO NOT need him to sign the I-751.

Please take care of yourself and your babies. There are abused women's shelters that can help you. You should not stay with your husband when he beats you, and already religiously divorced you. You are better than that. Best of luck, and stay safe.

Thank you so much! i will call a abused women's center tomorrow morning! will keep you updated.

[brooklyn 0]

Thank you so much! i will call a abused women's center tomorrow morning! will keep you updated.

What about going up to the courts and file for full custody of the kids .

What about going up to family court and file for full custody of the twins ?

[jaycali 415]

thks for all the replay! but we are not divorced yet. and if we filed now for divorce it will take couple months. and my green card expiere 08/31. he made the choice clear either the twins or the GC

This is the reason for VAWA.

[USA-ALG 63]

No easy answer to it. Being a victim of domestic abuse regardless of culture or not. Using children against you is despicable at best. There is NO shame in calling 911 for domestic situations. I've provided you the links below. I am sure you're a very intelligent mother and want the best out of all this.

http://www.domesticviolence.org/what-is-abuse/

http://www.domesticviolence.org/violence-wheel/

Do focus on your and your twin's safety and SANITY. Do not ever blame yourself for all this happening. The least you can worry is the GC. Call the domestic hotline. They will be happy to help you. Do that, then worry about GC later. There is NO shame for seeking help. Domestic abused women are often too late to speak up... because they're not able to speak from the grave.

There's greater honor in protecting your children. They need to know that what he does is not right and not Islam.

I wish you best and may God be with you in making wise decisions.

E

[eric n tessa 1]

Nina, do not let your husband dictate your life choices and make crazy ultimatums. Babies or your GC? Please... That is despicable. You can file for ROC now by yourself with a divorce waiver, and they will send you an RFE for the divorce paper. You can send it in at that time (months down the road). Or, you can file ROC by yourself based on being an abused person. Please read the I-751 instructions for your options. Your are a Legal Permanent Resident and you have rights that are not dictated by your husband's evil machinations. He cannot make you make such a choice as babies or GC. You DO NOT need him to sign the I-751.

Please take care of yourself and your babies. There are abused women's shelters that can help you. You should not stay with your husband when he beats you, and already religiously divorced you. You are better than that. Best of luck, and stay safe.

very good advice! in the USA abuse is never acceptable! Get out ASAP! You can get your green card through the WAVA you do not need him at all. Please find a shelter for you and your babies and get the help you need , take care and good luck

[bigdog 376]

Please call your local police if you are being abused.

[DaniG 3]

Please call your local police if you are being abused.

You can call even days after the abuse, or at the very least, you could go to the doctor to make sure your injuries are documented. Arrest report or doctor's records would be useful evidence for getting your green card without his signature, and also for getting custody of the kids later on. Getting the police involved will also trigger benefits for you and the kids from their victim programs, such as compensation, counseling and legal help. Yes, it might be shameful to call the police on your husband, but is he your husband now that he has asked for divorce (and if you ask me, no one who has physically abused a woman deserves to be called "husband")?

Edited June 20, 2012 by DaniG

[Sandra G. 5,075]

Go to the police station to file a police report. Go to the court get a restraining order against him.If you have bruises go to the hospital TOMORROW MORNING and say you were battered and they will call the social worker, she will talk with you and in minutes you will have the cops there to speak with you. Find a shelter for victims of domestic violence and LEAVE him and of course take the kids with you! You can still file the I-751 based in Vawa, and in this case you DO NOT NEED A DIVORCE DECREE.If you need help (pro bono services) to file the I-751 based in Vawa contact me ok.

Edited June 20, 2012 by sandranj