Very upsetting answers on Visajourney

[happiestmanalive 23]

Good luck~

[eric n tessa 1]

Dear Freedove7

First off i wish you and your family the best and good luck at your interview. Please do not take offence to what i have to say. I looked back at your other posts and there is no one thing including having a child together that will get you your visa. Please, head the advice of others here, gather as much prove of your relationship and ongoing marriage as possible. the painful reality for everyone here on VJ is that our dreams and lives hang on the decision of that Embassy person that does your interview. Nothing and no one can say it will be easy or that you will get your visa. In the end it is up to you to prove you have a ongoing marriage and you will have just a few minutes to do so.

in 2008 i had a fiancee that i applied for. we gathered everything, we even had a lawyer, we were prepared for the interview. I was sure we had done everything right and i would be bringing my fiancee to the USA to start our new lives together. But the CO did not believe we had a bona fided relationship. My heart sank and i was in disbelieve. Denied!! It was final. I was there in the Embassy! In the end i even went back to the Embassy and talked with a CO, there decision is final! I couldn't believe it and the lawyer was no help either.

The people here on VJ mean well, so please consider the advice you have been given. One more thing i would advice is go to the link on VJ for the Embassy you will be interviewing at and read the reviews from others that have had their interviews there.

GOOD LUCK!

[issha2lynden 77]

Dear comments at this forum are from people that you don't know! They could be blunt and straightforward and could annoy or hurt you but generally this site is helpful. You posted a topic so you opened your self for public criticism, if you can't take the heat then don't even try to get close. People are different and grab things differently.

No need to rant. Take the good and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

[joevegas 67]

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

So..your marriage is not real is it?

[Sandra G. 5,054]

The burden of proof is on the applicant for AOS to establish a genuine relationship, but just your words are not enough, just having a child with the US Citizen is not enough.Get an affidavit from the Landlord stating you live there since xxxx, a few affidavits from friends and family stating a genuine relationship.Take some pictures this weekend with your in laws, husband, husband&kids. If you ordered some stuffs online and were delivered in your house get some invoices, check your old emails you will find something, at least you will be able to show same residence, send copy of your bank account, your cellphone, health insurance etc. Write down a letter explaining why you don't have joint tax return, joint bank account etc..Good luck.

[vivianforest 0]

When you ask for help and you have this amazing web full of people that takes time to write back trying to help and make advices, even without knowing you, is just a blessing. Anyway is always your choice and complete responsability to do the best you think for your specific case. the consequences of the desition and actions you take will be just yours. And believe people here are not judging you with their answers. People here is trying to give you helpful advices even you like it or not. I really hope you get some calm to continue with your journey and good luck.

[LOVE2OURBB 1]

We all have reasons for everything we say or do, you come to Visa Journey looking for help and i think regardless of some ones opinion you need to extract what is helpfull to you, I have to say that when going to an interview all the officer cares about is you convincing them that your relationship is legal, so consider what others say have as much evidence as you can, no one is trying to SMASH no one we are all in a similar boat and that is why we try to help eachother. perhaps you are stressed out so take a deep breath and move on. I once posted the fact that i have not seen my husband in three years and that we have a baby and they have not meet eachother because of different situations ( my husband is undergoing A/P) some one said to me regardless of the situation i should come to visit my husband, well i did not take it personal it was an advise and i took it as such. Please rethink what you said Honestly Visa journey is a great place to get advises dont BURN YOUR BRIDGES..

good luck

[Lonelywithouthim 5]

I am a new user just reading to understand the phases of the process and also read some suggestions that could also be helpful to my case. I have read almost all of the post and I can truly say that everyone on this site is only aiming to help and support each other. I for one, am very greatful to have found this site. I would rather hear all the possible questions and doubt here than after the fact. I wish I had found this site before I was placed in "administrative process". Having said all that, pleases keep up the good job VJ !!

[memlaura 60]

I agree with dwheels. I have recieved some tough responses and got a little annoyed but in the end I understand they are just trying to help and my husband is from Nigeria as well so we have no doubt we have an uphill battle no one here wants to hurt you and everyone wants to see your post that you got your visa and life is good because the more positive posts we see the more hope we have

One thing you have to realize is that you and only you knows whats up in your marriage. If all these questions and innuendo bothers you what the heck do you think it may be like at an interview?

Sure they may not ask anything but why go in there emply handed. I for one truly understand how you feel. My husband is in Nigeria. High Fraud everyone is suspect. We are guilty and must prove ourselves innocent. We can get mad and bitter but instead we have built our evidence in a way to tell our love story.

we don't know you dear we are merely going by the words you convey on these pages. Like I stated in your post before. If you were the CO looking at your evidence what would you think of a 5 year marriage that had not much. It's not about you not taking alot of pictures. You knew this day would come if nothing else fake it till you make it.

I know how hard people can be here but truely they all mean well. I am 21 years older than my husband coming from a high fraud country. I have taken my licks but boy have I got a wealth of information to learn and grow from and also to pass on and help others.

There has not been one wrong thing suggested to you. It may seem to you harsh buut they are merely suggestions on what you may want to think about as far as evidence. No one has called you a scammer, fraud or the like.

Do not look at this website as the enemy because its not. No one here is here to sugarcoat and make you feel better we are all here to get the expected best end result our hunni's Visa and Citizenship so we can live together forever here i the US.

Edited June 14, 2012 by memlaura

[amyandjorge 76]

the title says it all.

"Very upsetting answers on Visajourney."

ask a question and you will likely get answers, ask a personal and emotional question and you are bound to be upset by some answers. sounds to me like these questions should have been addressed years ago, before getting mixed up with immigration.

every single person on thise website (or not) who is married to a non US spouse has to jump through humiliating hoops with USCIS, so jump off your high relationship horse.

[StormHeraldEDM 5]

For my 2 bits...

I would have been lost and without a prayer, if not for the timely, accurate, and direct advice I received from VJ. I paid hundreds of dollars consulting with immigration attorneys prior to finding this resource...and guess what? All I got from the lawyers was inaccurate advice, and impersonal help. I have found that this community makes me think critically; to step back from my case as "my case" (which I am emotionally/financially invested in), and view it instead through the eyes of an immigration officer of the US government. Doesn't matter if things don't make sense to me....if the government tells me that they want a photo of me dressed up like a giant green chili in order to process my paperwork - then, by Golly, I need to go rent a chili costume! These are the rules of the game. They make the rules. It is a privledge to live in a country other than the one of our born citizenship, and we must act accordingly.

Folks here have attempted to offer helpful advice to prevent delay and depression. Who wants to receive an RFE for additional evidence after waiting for months, or have their paperwork outright refused? Most people would want to avoid that. And that's what we're doing here...trying to help you avoid it.

Try to detach from the emotional ties, and take a step back. You can do it.

PS: I hate green chilis...I'd rather shoot myself than dress up as one. Point being...just do it.

Edited June 14, 2012 by StormHeraldEDM

[kitt2001 11]

Not to sound negative but i really hope you don't lash out at the USCIS when they question you about the validity of your marriage like you did on here.

[DandT14 272]

She flooded the forum - not just any forum, but the "case progress" section - with questions, didn't like the answers so said they must be false, and now is accusing people of mistreating her. I hope she DOES carry that attitude with her to her interview. But I'm mean like that...

If you put her stuff together...her husband has not filed taxes for 2 years. She has maybe 3 pictures of them together, and none of her husband with their child. No joint financial stuff. She's going to the interview with her child's birth certificate and a few pieces of mail, addressed individually, that goes to the same address as her husband's mail.

After what some others on here have been through during their interviews, she BETTER have problems, or the system's really screwed up.

[kzielu 1,149]

After what some others on here have been through during their interviews, she BETTER have problems, or the system's really screwed up.

Nice summary - agree !

[AF-Wife 181]

OP, I think you are absolutely right. There are to many people, that question other people's intent and attack them, instead of helping them. For example, adjusting in tourist visa. I've seen it soo many times on VJ. Keep your head up and stay strong. People on here aren't the people that you have to convince that your relationship is genuine, it will be the person that sits across you at the interview. Be honest, bring evidence and everything will be fine! Good luck!