Very upsetting answers on Visajourney

[cappucino boy 29]

Dear Darnell,

Thank you, as I understand how to navigate VJ journey . I was only concerned to the comments listing VJ journey as a bad source. I really only wanted to defend VJ's honor as being a very helpful site and meant no disrepect to the OP.

B. Franklin

Hi ! Welcome to Visa Journey !

When one logs in from a pc or laptop, one can have a totally different 'viewing' experience.

One of those wonderful things to see, is the clicky link to view a member's profile.

Once there, click on 'Find my Content' then change the selector to 'View all posts by <<username>>'

IMO, if you had done that one simple operation - you would have had the opportunity for more reading. With more reading (again, IMO) you'll get a focused view of her backstory and prior posts.

Welcome to Visa Journey !

[jaycali 415]

One thing that I have learned on VJ is that in many cases the best, and most helpful answers are also the harsh, straightforward and blunt answers. Sugarcoating doesn't help anyone.

Remember this: It's not us you're trying to convince, it's the IO who has complete authority to approve or deny your case, and thus decide your fate. If a VJ member plays devil's advocate, it's to prepare you for a worst case scenario.

Edited June 14, 2012 by jaejayC

[GCPony 14]

This is the internet and nothing more than a discussion forum. People here are random strangers sitting at desks hundreds and thousands of miles from wherever you are.

You've never met any of us and likely never will. People in forums are not your family and they're not your personal friends. Nothing anyone says on any internet forum should be taken personally. If a stranger of a forum says you sleep with ferrets, it doesn't affect you, your life or what you'll have for breakfast.

Relax, take a deep breath and enjoy your life

[EmelyNJoel 43]

Most rules are written for typical situations, not the outliers.

So when I say that 'most' people try to capture special moments on 'film' with their families, I think that is a true statement.

When I say that 'most' couples happen to have documents which tie them together with their spouses, I think that is also a true statement.

(think mortgage, rental agreements, loans, birth certificates, marriage certificates, travel receipts from trips together)

When someone doesn't fit the typical mold, or differs from the norm, that is reason for a little extra scrutiny. I say this as a former child abuse/neglect investigator for the State of Kansas.

The less like the norm they are, without reasons for not being closer to the norm, the more skepticism increases.

That is human nature, not to mention training to notice things out of place or norm, which sharpen as one continues in investigative roles.

Now, I don't know the reality of your situation. I don't care if you get your visa or not, it doesn't affect me to the best of my knowledge.

But I'd rather life treat you well, than treat you poorly, just on general principles.

I have found that life treats *me* much better, the better *I* prepare for what challenges might lay ahead of me. Chance favors the well prepared.

So, take stock of what everyone is saying, accept that we are trying to help. (even me).

Start re-reading the posts as though they were offering good advice. (they are)

Start acting on those posts.

Prayer can't hurt.

Good luck.

*I get my answer a week from today, so we'll see if I have followed my own advice well enough for my fiancee's visa to be approved or not.

[EmelyNJoel 43]

If a stranger of a forum says you sleep with ferrets, it doesn't affect you, your life or what you'll have for breakfast.

Ooooo never sleep with ferrets.

A friend slept with a ferret in the military. One Sunday his bit him on his personal privates trying to get his attention.

It got his attention.

(said jokingly, but that is a 100% true story)

[Sirdaniel42 86]

Ooooo never sleep with ferrets.

A friend slept with a ferret in the military. One Sunday his bit him on his personal privates trying to get his attention.

It got his attention.

(said jokingly, but that is a 100% true story)

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :wow:

[tazzie 6]

Without having read previous posts from the OP, people who come here do need to understand, that unless they are asking a specific question, on a specific form, where the question is straighforward, and therefore the answer will be straighforward, that anything else is pretty much up for debate and opinions. We can offer up our personal experiences and hopefully some knowledge. The poster is going to get our opinions and possibly our judgements.

Any person who uses any open site, posts any question ( that isnt direct and specific ) is going to get some responses that they possibly dont like.

If you arnt willing to read up immigration rules and laws and learn on your own, where you make the choice to ask questions, you are putting yourself out there for any and all responses. And the OP of any thread is open to this, because they have opened the door for it.

There is no point to rant and rave over what you view as unfair and judgemental responses . . . its going to happen. So your choices are, read the guidelines, hire a lawyer, ask only specific questions to specific forms. If you choose none of those, and still post, then you have to be open to peoples opinions.

Totally agree, good comment.

[dwheels76 5,468]

One thing you have to realize is that you and only you knows whats up in your marriage. If all these questions and innuendo bothers you what the heck do you think it may be like at an interview?

Sure they may not ask anything but why go in there emply handed. I for one truly understand how you feel. My husband is in Nigeria. High Fraud everyone is suspect. We are guilty and must prove ourselves innocent. We can get mad and bitter but instead we have built our evidence in a way to tell our love story.

we don't know you dear we are merely going by the words you convey on these pages. Like I stated in your post before. If you were the CO looking at your evidence what would you think of a 5 year marriage that had not much. It's not about you not taking alot of pictures. You knew this day would come if nothing else fake it till you make it.

I know how hard people can be here but truely they all mean well. I am 21 years older than my husband coming from a high fraud country. I have taken my licks but boy have I got a wealth of information to learn and grow from and also to pass on and help others.

There has not been one wrong thing suggested to you. It may seem to you harsh buut they are merely suggestions on what you may want to think about as far as evidence. No one has called you a scammer, fraud or the like.

Do not look at this website as the enemy because its not. No one here is here to sugarcoat and make you feel better we are all here to get the expected best end result our hunni's Visa and Citizenship so we can live together forever here i the US.

[Nally 9]

If you don't want truthful answers stop asking questions

[Justine+David 218]

With the multiple topics on essentially the same subject and being so passive aggressive...anyone suspect a troll here?

[lierre 224]

People on here go through the same experience as you, giving constructive criticism as they see fit.

Never have I seen such an efficient & comprehensive resource of information on US immigration than VJ.

[Adriene H 89]

With the multiple topics on essentially the same subject and being so passive aggressive...anyone suspect a troll here?

They probably wrote that exit speech and has moved on to ask the same

question on Immigrate2US, where in turn, the responses will be even

less sugar coated

[Mike X Man 37]

OMG....stop being a whining child. You better be thankful to these VJers for setting you straight. Better them than the IO. Trust me on this. They are trying to HELP YOU! I had an IO spend 5 minutes with me and basically tell me to my face that he didn't think my marriage was "stable." 5 ###### minutes I was with this guy! He has absolutely no idea the trials and hardship my wife have been through but he just made his own conclusion and it was upto me to convince him otherwise. Grow a thick skin and strengthen your petition before it's too late!

[Fight for Love 98]

To have the audacity to question my marriage is very upsetting and that is what some of you guys did in my previous post.Who in their right mind would think a 10 year relationship with a guy I met as a teenager isnt real? We have pics we took at my high school graduation! I got married at 20 and got pregnant soon after.We filed 10 years after being together and 5 yrs after getting married while some people who supposedly fell in love filed weeks or months after getting married.I wonder if the people who were bashing me in my previous posts entered their marriage in good faith and not to evade immigration laws.How dare some of you say that I dont sound convincing?? Because I dont have 100 fake photos? Its so easy to fake a smile or a kiss in photos.I bet the fake marriages have the most photos ! When my husband opened his bank accounts,I did not have a legal status nor a social so how on earth could I have been added? He no longer owns an account anyhow.The same with the utility bills.only one name goes on the account.Again,he has bad credit so we have separate finances.I dont want my credit to get ruined aswell! My marriage is fake because we arent financially stable enough to take vacations?? I should not have wasted time writting this post and should have just laughed at the uneducated,ridiculous remarks,but Its just so upsetting that some of you have the nerve to bash me about my marriage who anyone in their right mind wouldnt question if its "real" or bona fide.

thank goodness someone like you stood up for some people who are hater...godbless your heart :dance:

[karthi 0]

wow this topic is very HOT & Popular

I thought YOU post here for getting some HELP ..this looks more than complaining

@freedove7: You're FREE to take these suggestions that these thoughtful and helpful people gave or just don't..its your call.

hope you calmdown & gather all your reqd docs..wish you goodluck!