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Filed: Timeline
Posted

Hi

I am a british woman. My fiance is a USC.

He is wonderful, I am in love, and I really hope I am wrong about this.

We have visited 3 times. I went to him twice, then more recently he came to me. He is not working. I paid for all the trips. There are good reasons. Well I hope so.

I have also sent money. Twice. When he got back to the US last time (a few weeks ago now) he emailed me saying he had no money. And we spoke and he also said he had no cash. I transfered money to him. He became much more relaxed and hopeful. The next day he told me he'd been shopping for food. There's no way the money would have been available to him that quickly.

I have sold things to get extra cash. So far he hasn't.

I know how this reads, but we spoke many times on Skype and phone over a long period. There were good reasons for him not working and he is supposed to be looking for work now.

I hate being this suspicious, I don't even care that much about the money. It's just that I am scared he is just using me.

I need a way/ways to find out without openly accusing him because I still think this is all circumstantial and there's probably a good explanation.

Any ideas?

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

Have you spoken about finances with your fiance? Before my husband and I got married we sat down and had the "I have ____ amount of money and _____ amount of debt. Your turn"

Frankly I think everyone should have this converstaion.

What happens when you go to the US and both of you are out of work?

Have you asked him to detail where all your money goes?

Good luck

USCIS
August 12, 2008 - petition sent
August 16, 2008 - NOA-1
February 10, 2009 - NOA-2
178 DAYS FROM NOA-1


NVC
February 13, 2009 - NVC case number assigned
March 12, 2009 - Case Complete
25 DAY TRIP THROUGH NVC


Medical
May 4, 2009


Interview
May, 26, 2009


POE - June 20, 2009 Toronto - Atlanta, GA

Removal of Conditions
Filed - April 14, 2011
Biometrics - June 2, 2011 (early)
Approval - November 9, 2011
209 DAY TRIP TO REMOVE CONDITIONS

Citizenship

April 29, 2013 - NOA1 for petition received

September 10, 2013 Interview - decision could not be made.

April 15, 2014 APPROVED. Wait for oath ceremony

Waited...

September 29, 2015 - sent letter to senator.

October 16, 2015 - US Citizen

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Nepal
Timeline
Posted

Hi

I am a british woman. My fiance is a USC.

He is wonderful, I am in love, and I really hope I am wrong about this.

We have visited 3 times. I went to him twice, then more recently he came to me. He is not working. I paid for all the trips. There are good reasons. Well I hope so.

I have also sent money. Twice. When he got back to the US last time (a few weeks ago now) he emailed me saying he had no money. And we spoke and he also said he had no cash. I transfered money to him. He became much more relaxed and hopeful. The next day he told me he'd been shopping for food. There's no way the money would have been available to him that quickly.

I have sold things to get extra cash. So far he hasn't.

I know how this reads, but we spoke many times on Skype and phone over a long period. There were good reasons for him not working and he is supposed to be looking for work now.

I hate being this suspicious, I don't even care that much about the money. It's just that I am scared he is just using me.

I need a way/ways to find out without openly accusing him because I still think this is all circumstantial and there's probably a good explanation.

Any ideas?

With this little detail, It might be too early for anyone to make a judgement Call. but there might be other smart guys who can tell whats going on?? I personally believe, A clear and nice conversation with your fiance might give you the best answer of your doubts....best of luck....

any way, what kind of SERVICE u used for money transfer?? via bank , Money gram or Western union??

[b][color="#FF0000"]USCIS Journey[/color][/b]
06/25/2011 - Married @ native country
Mid of August: Filled N400
Mid Of October : Filled I -130 ( LPR F2A)
10/17/2011 : NOA1
12/08/2011 : Oath Ceremoney for N400, Boston @ 12:00 pm
12/08/2011 : [b]Called VSC to Upgrade the Case [color="#FF0000"]( LPR F2A to CR-1)[/color] @ 3pm[/b]
12/12/2011 : Email Confirmation of Upgrade
[color="#008000"][b]04/14/2012 : NOA2[/color][/b]([i]Can't Express how happy I was and relieved from A Long WAITING GAME.....but everyone has to go through it......)[/i]

[color="#FF0000"][b]NVC Journey[/b][/color]

04/24/2012---Case number and IIN received, Email address Provided of both petitionner and benificiary
04/24/2012---DS 3032 emailed to NVC
04/26/2012---AOS fee bill paid
04/27/2012---AOS fee bill shows " PAID"
04/30/2012---AOS package sent
05/02/2012---DS 3032 accepted
05/02/2012---IV fee bill invoiced
05/04/2012---IV fee bill shows " PAID"
05/04/2012---IV package sent
05/11/2012---AOS Reviewed and Accepted
05/14/2012---IV package Reviewed and Accepted

[b][color="#2E8B57"]05/15/2012--------Case Complete[/color][/b] [color="#FF00FF"] [[i]([s]Wow....!!!!!! Wait....Ouch...Did i miss "Interview Scheduling" process for this month by day or 2 days??[/s]?)[/color][/i]

06/06/2012-----[b]Interview Date Assigned[/b]

[b][color="#FF0000"]Medical / Consulate / POE[/color][/b]
06/08/2012-----Medical Exam
06/15/2012-----Case Forwarded to Embassy
06/24/2012-----1st Marriage Anniversary
07/10/2012-----Interview date: [b][color="#00BFFF"]APPROVED[/color][/b]
07/17/2012-----[i][b][color="#2E8B57"]Boston,MA [/color][/b][/i]

Posted

If he is a USC, what was his support sytem before you came into the picture. He had some type of support before you came into the picture he was able to obtain a passport, he pays for internet service you'll skype.

If you don't send money he will survive. He is not homeless.

Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

I agree with the last post! Are you coming to the states to be with him? How will he be able to get you here? because he has to be able to show support or have a sponsor and NO you can't be the sponsor. Many questions to be asked here. Stop sending him money and see if he really loves you or just your money? Good luck and God Bless

Even though we are far from each other right now I know you are close to me in other ways,you are always here in my heart. You give me reason to look forward to each day,You are my life and a dream come true.there are no words to express how i feel for you.You are the light in my darkness.There could never be words strong enough to express my love for you but I'm going to show it to you everyday as long as i live.I love you with my body,soul and mind.I love you very much baby.Mwaaaaaaaaah!

Your Wife to be,

Aijeen

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ireland
Timeline
Posted

**** Moving from CR-1 to Off Topic as OP is not married and the question is not directly visa related ****

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

mod penguin.jpg

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Morocco
Timeline
Posted

HI GF

Paying your own way here both times was very independent of you that is the one thing that makes sense.

Paying his way there?

Your choice and you obviously felt it was worth it. (L)

Sending him money again is your choice.

So where is the SCAM?

IF u wish to eventually live here... applying for fiance visa or marriage visa...both will need to show he has the means to support you. If not then he (petitioner) will need to find another co sponsor willing to. Your ways of paying for things will not cover the situation.

I paid for all the trips. There are good reasons

There were good reasons for him not working and he is supposed to be looking for work now.

I need a way/ways to find out without openly accusing him because I still think this is all circumstantial and there's probably a good explanation.

If you feel this is a healthy two sided relationship growing here...

then I strongly agree with the others advice, finances! talk it out ahead of time.

Communicate.

Get past the wonderful feelings you get when you laugh and skype and TALK to each other.

If you cant communicate now...then when?

When you are married and find yourself unhappy???

And stop sending him money!! He survived before you met.

I really hope you figure things out and am glad you took the first step by posting .....GOOD LUCK. (F)

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event.png

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
Timeline
Posted

There are many people in many cultures that are more than happy to live off the sweat of others as long as they can. For whatever reason they fail to do what is needed to grow up and take care of themselves ( and some of them are nearly retirement age ) The problem with someone with this trait is they don't like to work, they may for brief periods but at the first chance they will get themselves fired and live off whatever for as long as possible. It sounds like you have found one of these. Beware, he isn't going to change. You probably should proceed with extreme caution or run the other way.

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

Posted

I dont think this question relates to this forum at all. There is no time line which make me think there is no paperwork with immigration at all. You are also a newbie something tell me you just pop here to express what you are currently going through in a relationship. I sincerely hope you find answers to your doubts but at the moment I dont believe you stop at the right place for those answers. The people here are or about to be in the process of filing for a spouse or a finace to come to the US. Again good luck.

USCIS

2011/09/06 Mailed I-130 - 2011/09/16 Received NOA1 in mail - 2011/09/08 Priority date on letter - 2012/03/08 RFE Mailed
2012/04/18 USCIS received RFE responce - 2012/05/21 NOA2 APPROVED

NVC
2012/06/21 Case number and IV number received - 2102/07/06 DS3032 sent via postal mail - 2012/07/06 AOS 1-864 Bill $88 paid online
2012/07/11 AOS 1-864 bill show PAID online - 2012/07/13 AOS packet mail out - 2012/07/21 DS3032 accepted - 2012/07/21 Receive IV Bill DS-230 - 2012/07/23 Pay IV Bill DS-230 - 2012/07/24 IV Bill DS-230 show PAID online - 2012/07/24 IV packet mail out - 2012/08/03 Case  completed at NVC - 2012/09/28 Interview date. Received by email(2012/08/03)

MEDICAL/ US EMBASSY/ POE
2012/09/14 Medical Appointment - 2012/09/26 Interview / Need Co Sponsor - 2012/12/06 Acquired Co Sponsor and all relevant documents
2012/12/11 2nd Interview/ Required to submit Co.S documents along with my passport - 2012/12/11 Interview outcome APPROVED
2012/12/13 Visa in hand - 2013/01/16 POE..Miami International airport

2013/01/28 Received SS card in mail
2013/02/07 Received 2 year Green card in mail

File ROC 2014/11/18 . Appointment for fingerprints 2015/02/17, Decision 2015/05/13. 10 year Green Card in hand 2015/05/28

N-400

2018/1/27 Mail in N-400 - Chicago Lock Box - 2018/2/1 Certified mail arrived Lock Box - 2018/2/1 Priority Date - 2018/2/14 Received Receipt in mail - 2018/2/14 Received NOA to set up my online account - 2018/2/9 Online status stated appointment scheduled for bio-metrics. Bio-metrics Appointment 2018/3/1.

Filed: Country: Monaco
Timeline
Posted
1339579728[/url]' post='5444655']

Hi

I am a british woman. My fiance is a USC.

He is wonderful, I am in love, and I really hope I am wrong about this.

We have visited 3 times. I went to him twice, then more recently he came to me. He is not working. I paid for all the trips. There are good reasons. Well I hope so.

I have also sent money. Twice. When he got back to the US last time (a few weeks ago now) he emailed me saying he had no money. And we spoke and he also said he had no cash. I transfered money to him. He became much more relaxed and hopeful. The next day he told me he'd been shopping for food. There's no way the money would have been available to him that quickly.

I have sold things to get extra cash. So far he hasn't.

I know how this reads, but we spoke many times on Skype and phone over a long period. There were good reasons for him not working and he is supposed to be looking for work now.

I hate being this suspicious, I don't even care that much about the money. It's just that I am scared he is just using me.

I need a way/ways to find out without openly accusing him because I still think this is all circumstantial and there's probably a good explanation.

Any ideas?

I am assuming you have posted here because in your mind plans would call for the two of you being together, so under that light here is my two-cent worth...

The basis of any relationship is respect and communication. Having said that if you really want to continue to help him and possibly spend the rest of yor life with him I cant see why you couldn't address this issue with him in a civil and dignified manner, so that he does not feel your money comes with strings attached. If you are to be a couple at some point I am sure he would take no exception on such a dialogue, for it should not be a huge leap for him to put himself in your shoes and maybe realize he would have the same concerns were he sending you money across the ocean.

Maybe his situation is worse than what he let you know. Maybe he is taking advantage of your kindness. Maybe he feels bad enough by accepting your help. Maybe it is neone of these and only you can gauge that from your interactions with him.

Your help should come with no strings attached for in this case, rexplanations are not yours to demand so much as his to offer you freely and willingly so you can feel reassured he is worth of your concern. It is a two-way street, IMHO. I believe he should be open to this dialogue as a means to reciprocate your kindness. If he can't understand or acccept that now, I would question his willingness and ability to share the rest of his life with you.

I wish you well and good luck whatever course of action you choose.

200px-FSM_Logo.svg.png


www.ffrf.org




Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Iraq
Timeline
Posted

Hi

I am a british woman. My fiance is a USC.

He is wonderful, I am in love, and I really hope I am wrong about this.

We have visited 3 times. I went to him twice, then more recently he came to me. He is not working. I paid for all the trips. There are good reasons. Well I hope so.

I have also sent money. Twice. When he got back to the US last time (a few weeks ago now) he emailed me saying he had no money. And we spoke and he also said he had no cash. I transfered money to him. He became much more relaxed and hopeful. The next day he told me he'd been shopping for food. There's no way the money would have been available to him that quickly.

I have sold things to get extra cash. So far he hasn't.

I know how this reads, but we spoke many times on Skype and phone over a long period. There were good reasons for him not working and he is supposed to be looking for work now.

I hate being this suspicious, I don't even care that much about the money. It's just that I am scared he is just using me.

I need a way/ways to find out without openly accusing him because I still think this is all circumstantial and there's probably a good explanation.

Any ideas?

Just curious , but how did you meet your fiance? Did he originally contact you or vice versa?

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: England
Timeline
Posted

Financial Survival in the USA is not easy.

Without health insurance from his work, you need about $12k min for comprehensive health insurance.

Getting sick without GOOD insurance will break even a rich family and is the the highest cause of bankruptcy - and the majority of those have some kind of insurance !

I retired at 54 in the UK but Americans don't do that because of health insurance

It is a very different world and quite scary for those not born here and not expecting to have to jump up and down wearing a bear suit outside Walmart when they are 80

Many employers give 10 days vacation - not the 6 weeks you might get in the UK

It's OK for people born here because they expect and know no better, but for a Brit it is a shock !

The USA is made for the well off and the others have to struggle

When I was unemployed, my g/f dropped me coz I made a face when she ordered an expensive cocktail - there is your role model

moresheep400100.jpg

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Just curious , but how did you meet your fiance? Did he originally contact you or vice versa?

:thumbs:

Sent I-129 Application to VSC 2/1/12
NOA1 2/8/12
RFE 8/2/12
RFE reply 8/3/12
NOA2 8/16/12
NVC received 8/27/12
NVC left 8/29/12
Manila Embassy received 9/5/12
Visa appointment & approval 9/7/12
Arrived in US 10/5/2012
Married 11/24/2012
AOS application sent 12/19/12

AOS approved 8/24/13

 

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