unhappy while am here

[philhome 1]

i arrived here sept 29, 2011 with my 13 year old daughter i experience a lot of abuse physically, mentally, and sexually. I cant believe this would happen to me here coz i thought my husband truly love me but i found out that he didnt love me, and he just need me just for sex. Our age gap is 18 years but i didnt think that he is older so much than me coz of the years we been together. So sad, im going to give up and wants to go back in the philippines even its hard to get the greencard to come here. I dont care about the green card or US citizen if am not happy here. I think im gonna die or will become crazy here living with him. A lot of friends telling me not to leave USA and need to sacrifice or understand my husband until i become a US citizen, For me, what is the the VISA FOR? if your unhappy. I ask him a favor just find us money for our airfare back to philippines then i will not bother him anymore, but he said if we want to go back to PH then we need to find money for ourselves, it means he will not help us for our plane ticket. sounds like he wants us to suffer here in america. I have so much regret of coming here. But ill try to find money to go back to my country, i dont let him step down on me by many many years.. one year is enough. So right now i am struggling to work a 3 part time job until i could finally save for my airfare. if i be in the Philippines, i want to forget all those bad memories from here, i will just put on my mind it just a dream.

[january7th 7]

Oh sis.. so sad to hear this. I am also thinking twice before coming there. It was always in my thought leaving my country and to live a new life in US. I also don't know why some people like america. But thank you for sharing this, I don't think he loves you either. It's good for you to have that job anyway. It's better to live in a quiet and simple life than with someone else who never accept you. God Bless

[issha2lynden 77]

Dear I am so saddened with this! Gosh! we are friends here I remember your posts of excitement, thanksgiving and happiness when you finally got your visa. I was interviewed September 2011 your interview was a month ahead of me.,I wish this post is not real.

I know you also live somewhere here in Washington, you might need a shelter for abused women I can ask my mother in law as she is a volunteer for shelter project. If you are really decided to go back to Philippines, you can maybe contact Philippine embassy and ask for help. Please message me if you need somebody to talk with. Hugs. (L)

[flyhighrtr 0]

OMG!!! Girl you better find another place to stay for you and your daughter. Your husband is F*****G crazy., he might do "something" to your daughter. Did you adjust your status already? If you do then pack your things and ask someone to help you.You will be good there in USA without your husband..Be strong.. for your daughter, GOd is always with you just remember that.

[Ilovemypinoy 9]

Violence is not acceptable. Better happy and safe. Please seek help. You should report his behavior if you have not. If you don't have enough evidence then maybe he will not get locked up but at least it will be on his record. This way you are helping to prevent this from happening to another woman...

There are resources for abused women. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE (7233)

Also if you decide you want to stay in the states, please check out this website: http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=8&compID=65

[Sweetheart75 0]

reading stories like this makes me feel bad coz I know the feeling of finally we are approved of our visa and ending the long journey of waiting all we want is to be with our other half thinking that we will have a happy life together but it turned out a night mare,im sorry sis your going through a lot there right now but don't loose hope God is always with you there are shelters who can help you there ask for help and if you can report to police as this is a domestic violence please do,don't be afraid to fight for your right be strong for your daughter she needs you. God bless you!

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Is the Daughter his? If not, consider contacting the real Dad and have him arrange to fly his Daughter back home to family.

[Misis Salome 2]

This is really sad. I will pray for you sis...take care of your daughter.

[lierre 224]

Contact the Philippine Embassy, dear. They might be able to help you with the tickets.

This is such a tragic turn of events. Do not heed what your family & friends are saying. You have to think of you and your daughter's safety first.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Please don't tolerate abuse for "citizenship" like your friends suggest. You and your daughter's lives are at risk.

[bobnleth 2]

There is no reason to allow this man to abuse you. If you need to leave him to protect you and your daughter, then leave him. There are many people that are willing to help you. Start networking with other Filipino's and find a place to live until you have saved the money. I hope all works out for you. Just know not all US men are like him. I love my asawa very much. God Bless

[JohnAireen 0]

i arrived here sept 29, 2011 with my 13 year old daughter i experience a lot of abuse physically, mentally, and sexually. I cant believe this would happen to me here coz i thought my husband truly love me but i found out that he didnt love me, and he just need me just for sex. Our age gap is 18 years but i didnt think that he is older so much than me coz of the years we been together. So sad, im going to give up and wants to go back in the philippines even its hard to get the greencard to come here. I dont care about the green card or US citizen if am not happy here. I think im gonna die or will become crazy here living with him. A lot of friends telling me not to leave USA and need to sacrifice or understand my husband until i become a US citizen, For me, what is the the VISA FOR? if your unhappy. I ask him a favor just find us money for our airfare back to philippines then i will not bother him anymore, but he said if we want to go back to PH then we need to find money for ourselves, it means he will not help us for our plane ticket. sounds like he wants us to suffer here in america. I have so much regret of coming here. But ill try to find money to go back to my country, i dont let him step down on me by many many years.. one year is enough. So right now i am struggling to work a 3 part time job until i could finally save for my airfare. if i be in the Philippines, i want to forget all those bad memories from here, i will just put on my mind it just a dream.

Hello

This is very sad news. I am sorry this happens to you or if it happens to anyone. I think you can call uscis and explain to them that the marriage is not real through no fault of your own and they will help you go home. He is responsible for you so he may have to pay your ticket. My girl is coming here soon I could not imagine her being treated like this. No one deserves this.

[JohnR! 5,495]

1339487750[/url]' post='5440151']

i arrived here sept 29, 2011 with my 13 year old daughter i experience a lot of abuse physically, mentally, and sexually. I cant believe this would happen to me here coz i thought my husband truly love me but i found out that he didnt love me, and he just need me just for sex. Our age gap is 18 years but i didnt think that he is older so much than me coz of the years we been together. So sad, im going to give up and wants to go back in the philippines even its hard to get the greencard to come here. I dont care about the green card or US citizen if am not happy here. I think im gonna die or will become crazy here living with him. A lot of friends telling me not to leave USA and need to sacrifice or understand my husband until i become a US citizen, For me, what is the the VISA FOR? if your unhappy. I ask him a favor just find us money for our airfare back to philippines then i will not bother him anymore, but he said if we want to go back to PH then we need to find money for ourselves, it means he will not help us for our plane ticket. sounds like he wants us to suffer here in america. I have so much regret of coming here. But ill try to find money to go back to my country, i dont let him step down on me by many many years.. one year is enough. So right now i am struggling to work a 3 part time job until i could finally save for my airfare. if i be in the Philippines, i want to forget all those bad memories from here, i will just put on my mind it just a dream.

Arlrog, we can only hope you do what you believe is right for you and your daughter. In a public internet forum the only thing we, strangers, can do is give you ideas and help you undertstand what courses of action you can consider taking. What you need to know is that you are not the first person in this situation nor are you the last. There is help and you do not have to go through this alone. First and foremost, if your husband is abusing you, consider calling the police and filing a report. That will ensure that his actions do not go unnoticed, unreported or unpunished, if that should've the case. Keep in mind there is absolutely no justification for a spouse to abuse the other. It is not your fault at any level nor is there any scenario, in which you were made deserving of his treatment.

Consider calling one of the many hotlines for abused women, who like yourself need help. They can provide you with information as where you can find a safe place to go and take your daughter with you. They can also help you get legal advice so you know what your legal options are, including how you can stay in the US if you qualify.

If you have made up your mind and wish to return to your home country they may know of organizations that can help you or the can help you get in touch with the appropriate consulate where you can try and obtain an airline ticket.

Keep in mind you are not his possession nor are you his prisoner, so you need not stay in a home where you are abused, living with a man who fails to fulfill his promises as a husband. You do not need to subject yourself to this situation one moment longer. You can stop it and you can take back your life.

I wish you well whatever your decision. Good luck!

[Caryh 5,206]

There are women's shelters all over the country that can help you escape abuse. If you're being abused, call one and get out now. Then contact your local consulate. They may be able to help you return to the Philippines. I'm so sorry you walked into such a bad situation. Being sad at times and homesick is part of the adjustment to being in a new country. But abuse should not be part of adjusting!

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I'm really, really sorry you're going through this. These stories (and there are way too many of them) break my heart. I can't imagine what you're going through. Planning to leave is absolutely the right thing to do, and it takes a very brave woman to even consider it. I suggest looking around for women's shelters that will take you and your child in until you can return to your country. I second the suggestion that if you talk to your consulate and describe your situation, they may help you go home.

I wish you luck. Keep yourself and your child safe.