How did you meet?

[Satellite 1]

In short, every woman I know in Russia can and will lie to you at some point, but they are also sincere about wanting love, marriage and a family more than anything else, and they are all wonderful prospects for someone

Well believe me, there are others who are not so sincere about wanting love, marriage and a family more than anything else... or perhaps they feel that way in Russia, but once they've Americanized (aka established their own choices in America) decide that marriage and a family are NOT what they wanted.

PurrSuede, what makes you think the next lady you bring in from Russia won't "Americanize" on you? Since I think we are in agreement that you won't find out in Russia on those short meetings. I guess we are just split on our theories on when things go bad. You believe in Americanization and I believe in undisclosed fraud from the beginning.

In reality I still think the real test begins after the unconditional green card / citizenship is achieved.

[PurrSuede 0]

In short, every woman I know in Russia can and will lie to you at some point, but they are also sincere about wanting love, marriage and a family more than anything else, and they are all wonderful prospects for someone

Well believe me, there are others who are not so sincere about wanting love, marriage and a family more than anything else... or perhaps they feel that way in Russia, but once they've Americanized (aka established their own choices in America) decide that marriage and a family are NOT what they wanted.

PurrSuede, what makes you think the next lady you bring in from Russia won't "Americanize" on you? Since I think we are in agreement that you won't find out in Russia on those short meetings. I guess we are just split on our theories on when things go bad. You believe in Americanization and I believe in undisclosed fraud from the beginning.

In reality I still think the real test begins after the unconditional green card / citizenship is achieved.

I would prefer not to believe it was undisclosed fraud from the beginning, Satellite, but that ~is~ a possibility, I won't deny it. I consider that a valid possibility, from the very start, but I can not prove it either way as I can't enter her mind to validate the theory. Only on my observations. Which again, could be clouded by the fact I was in love with this person. Once upon a time... and actually believed in the fairy-tale, only it certainly did not end "... and they lived happily ever after".

I agree with you on the real test. In a lot of ways, you just simply can't know for 100% certain until then. And no, I don't know that another lady wouldn't have the same issues, problems. I would like to think that I'm a bit smarter and a bit wiser and a bit more discerning... Not to mention a bit more cautious.

-- Dan

Edited October 19, 2006 by PurrSuede

[russ 1]

PurrSuede, what makes you think the next lady you bring in from Russia won't "Americanize" on you? Since I think we are in agreement that you won't find out in Russia on those short meetings. I guess we are just split on our theories on when things go bad. You believe in Americanization and I believe in undisclosed fraud from the beginning.

In reality I still think the real test begins after the unconditional green card / citizenship is achieved.

In general, I think Sat is right here. The incentive is too great not to have this happen. From what I know of Russia, marriage for purposes other than love isn't exactly unheard of. Friends of my wife's seemed to be planning their affairs and divorces on their honeymoons -- and they were in Russia.

It isn't really possible to know what someone else is thinking. People do change their minds as well. I don't think a green card ever motivated my wife to get married, though she would do just about anything to stay here now. In her case, she doesn't examine the consequences of what she is doing. This has caused her a lot of problems.

I've offered to spend the next year in Russia with her trying to work things out, and either way she should end up with a green card at the end of that. She isn't willing to do this, though I would imagine her own lawyers would tell her to do this, and be lucky that I am even willing to consider it.

Oddly, I did agree to a continuance in our divorce case today.

[slim 1,525]

Slim, don't you think these ladies also learn from these agencies, other websites, or friends not only how to properly attract US men through email but what to say and what to avoid saying in order to get to their ultimate goal of a green card / citizenship if that is what it happens to be?

I've read enough from you guys to be an independent consultant to the ladies that want to commit fraud and get away with it.

The Soviet mentality of lying, stealing and cheating is just embedded in the people along with other things like alcohol. If there is anyone that can pull of the perfect scam, it has to be the Russian lady.

Agree 100%, but there are the different types of ladies. The "scammers" fall perfectly into place in the current system, and even thrive in it.

But to all the guys out there who are looking for the loving wife, she's out there too. Just make sure that you're putting the pressure on her to prove that she wants to be the loving wife, not she putting the pressure on you to be the sponsor.

[BPM-MVS 0]

Dude, Ask where I am and I'll be glad to make things real!

[Milenka 0]

Hi, I am an American girl, who is engaged to a Russian guy. We met online at a site for people studying Russian. Then I went to university in Moscow. Clearly I learned Russian well, and my mother is Russian, so we never had any language barriers. Though from my parents I learned that not taking everything literally helps, and always keeping in mind that if someone is directly translating from one language to another, it might mean something other than you think...I don't know if this helps, but good luck to everyone in this process. Milena.

[akdiver 3]

We met while on vacation in Egypt (actually, I was on my way back from Tanzania), and no, we had no language barrier at all. My English is pretty good (:

Cheers!

AKDiver

[JamesT 12]

I met Katya through a so-called "International Marriage Broker", but I laugh everytime I hear that label because it is such a stupid name to call such agencies!

Edited February 14, 2007 by JamesT

[Globe Trekker 0]

My wife, Monika and I, met 3 years ago at Date.com. Exchanged an "interest" with eachother at the same time after seeing eachother's photos, then exchanged email addresses. We spent 1 week emailing eachother, then started regular (and LONG) telephone calls to eachother. After a week of phone calls, she invited me to visit her and her family in Gdynia, Poland. We got engaged on my first trip to Poland In May, 2004. Between that point and March 2005, I had completed 5 flights to Poland, and had spent 170 days with her in Poland, Germany, and Greece. She recevived her K-1 visa in November 2005, and I flew to Germany to get her at Christmas 2005. Married in March 31, 2006 and the rest is history! Soon, we will have our 1 year anniversary. Life Is GOOD!

[Caprise 0]

I met my boyfriend about 4 years ago on some silly Internet site where people put their pictures for rating. Also there is a possibility to write emails to each other. My boyfriend is American , I live in Lithuania (formal USSR Republic). I have been in USA five times with tourist visa and he came to my country 3 times. I concern my English to be ok, but there are still some misunderstandings between us, which are usually fun though.

What concern "mail order bride" discussion. On one side there is an Internet which "opens doors" worldwide and it is becomes possible finding your love even half across the seas. And meeting your 2 half "online" is possible and realistic in nowadays. And on another, there are a lot of scammers there. But just think, what a proffessional "liar" woman should be, to fool man about her "true feelings and love" for 3 years along! Do you imagine waking up and going to sleep,spending every day and night with a person you hate!? Thats probably only one of thousands who could do it for citizenship! The main reason of beeing "scammed" is wishing to be scammed!True feelings can be seen easily! So if you looking for your love online -Be smart, be careful, dont artificially speed up realations, but never refuse the belief of finding someone "true" on Internet. I can say that I love my bf not like citizen of certain country, but for his personality and soul. And if it was ment to find your soulmate 5.000 miles across the sea, then be happy you are not lonely anymore!

Good luck to everybody!

Edited March 26, 2007 by Caprise

[etripke 0]

I met my Fiancee through a mutual friend and co-worker who was from Ukraine and had married his wife while she was working in Ukraine with the peace corps in the mid 90's. It is an interesting story, but the long and short of it is I mentioned to him (our matchmaker) that I had met a Russian woman (already married) here while at work, and he asked me if I was interested in meeting someone. I was not too interested at the time, but then curiosity got the best of me and I started looking at Anastasia.com Well, that peaked my interest even more, and I starting corresponding with a few women to check out the "International Dating" scene. I was averaging about $100 a week in translations for the emails, and thought I would ask my friend to help me make a connection with them, and he could translate for me. Instead of going this route he described my fiancee to me, mentioned that she was educated, fluent in English, that they were from the same home town, and he would speak to her if we both desired the intro.

One thing led to another, the intro was made in Late December 2005/January 2006 and we hit it off right away. It wasn;t too long after that Lena invited me over for a visit, and in August of 06, I stayed with her and her daughter at her place in Kyiv. Lena far exceeded my expectations so much so that I proposed during the visit. I have since traveled over again in January of 2007, and will be submitting the petition within the next 2 weeks. I'll be heading over again in July for a month, and this time I'll be taking a family member with me for two of those weeks to meet Lena and her family.

It took me a fair amount of time to make my mind up about Lena. Obviously Fraud was on my mind, but it didn't take too long to sort through those feelings, and find the reassurances in the relationship. She is leaving behind a solid middle class life in Ukraine, her family, friends, career, and her place which she owns. Her daughter is being uprooted and brought into another country and culture which will forever change her, but at the same time offer her better opportunities in life.

As far as East European women lying, cheating and so forth I agree that it may be part of the old Soviet thinking, but really, American women do the same damn thing. My Ex wife was such a convincing liar and manipulator that she could be a poster child for women to stay clear of. So, I don't think its just a Russian or Ukrainian issue as they are here as well.

[mendeleev 68]

I met my wife five years ago when a former boss introduced me to her at her workplace. I was, obviously, travelling on business.

My wife's degree is in English. One of her job responsibilities is English/Russian translation. At times, she corrects my English grammar.

So, no, there isn't a (big) anguage barrier. Just a distance barrier that we hope eventually to take down.

[slim 1,525]

So, no, there isn't a (big) anguage barrier.

I can see why!

[Milenka 0]

I'm just curious if I'm the only one here who didn't meet my husband through a marriage broker/mail order arrangement. I'm also curious if you and your Rissian fiancee had a language barrier.

No, there is nothing special about you. For instance, I met my wife in Cairo, while on vacation in Egypt, on my way back from climbing Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Since she probably speaks better English than you do, there was no language barrier.

Do you have any more snooty questions?

Cheers!

AKDiver

I agree a VERY snooty question. My mother is Russian and my father Ukrainian, so I always wanted to visit Russia. I met my fiance online, but not a "marriage broker/mail order" After we met I moved to Moscow for university, and after a while I moved from my relatives place to his place. After going back and forth from Moscow for awhile, Sergey proposed to me, and now here we are. I agree this is the 21st century, people meet in all kinds of ways, what's important is what the relationship is after that...Russian is my second language so never had any problems, although Sergey speaks English wonderfully

Edited April 6, 2007 by Milenka

[Milenka 0]

I'm just curious if I'm the only one here who didn't meet my husband through a marriage broker/mail order arrangement. I'm also curious if you and your Rissian fiancee had a language barrier.

No, there is nothing special about you. For instance, I met my wife in Cairo, while on vacation in Egypt, on my way back from climbing Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Since she probably speaks better English than you do, there was no language barrier.

Do you have any more snooty questions?

Cheers!

AKDiver

I agree a VERY snooty question. My mother is Russian and my father Ukrainian, so I always wanted to visit Russia. I met my fiance online, but not a "marriage broker/mail order" After we met I moved to Moscow for university, and after a while I moved from my relatives place to his place. After going back and forth from Moscow for awhile, Sergey proposed to me, and now here we are. I agree this is the 21st century, people meet in all kinds of ways, what's important is what the relationship is after that...Russian is my second language so never had any problems, although Sergey speaks English wonderfully

I also want to add that, having both parents who do not know English as their first language, with language barriers, I think patience is the most important, and not taking everything so literally Often times, it's fun

Edited April 6, 2007 by Milenka