SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED?

[livindadream 156]

Ok, so let me start off by saying I know nobody can predict what will happen at interview level when it comes to denying or approving a visa...but I would love to hear what anyone thinks based on opinion or experience at the LAGOS embassy. Here is my situation in a nutshell: I met and married a Nigerian about 6 years ago. I filed for a fiance visa and it went thru flawlessly. He came to the states, we married within a month...and then he disappeared. We hadnt even filed for Adjustment of status or anything. I later found out thru friends, that he went to immigration and claimed that I kicked him out of the house...treated him bad, etc etc etc...you know the game !! He knew the game and how to play it and he fooled me, I fell for it and have nobody to blame but myself because all the red flags were there and I chose to ignore them. I was hurt furious at first, but then i learned to let it go. From the day he left til today I never talked to him again. He changed his number, blocked me from his messenger, etc. I filed for divorce on grounds of abandonment. It took a longgg time to finalize because I had to go thru numerous things to divorce him without him being present. I think about 3 years after he left, is when it was finalized. ANYHOW...about a year after he left, I met someone else from Nigeria (online)...I know ...I know what your thinking...I had no intentions of going thru the BS again, so we just talked as friends for a while, but you just cant help who you fall for ya know? Please don't judge me on that part!! Anyhow, the man lived in Ghana when I met him. I went to Ghana to visit him and ended up staying 2 months. I went home for half a year, then went back to stay with him again for 3 months. Went home again for 5 months, then came back for 3.5 months again. Went home one more time, then Im back here now again..have been here 2 months and plan on staying another 6 months. We got married this time (2 days ago). I want to file a petition for him to come to the states. If it were up to him, we'd stay here in Ghana forever (we rent a cute house, have furnished it well over the years and we live pretty darn comfortably here). But I really want to be home in the states. Soooo....here are the things I'm concerned with: 1. I am older than him, which I believe is a red flag at the embassy. People think he's older than me ( i guess I have good genes), but the fact is he's 29 and I'm 42. My second concern, I have done this whole petitioning thing before. 3. My ex lied to immigration that he left because of me throwing him out and he got to stay in the US based on his lies!! 4. My ex left me on December 12, 2008. I never saw or talked to him since, but all the time that I was building a relationship and visiting my man in Ghana, I was technically still married to the other guy. The divorce was final December 21, 2011. I wish I could file in any other country, but Nigeria is his home country so we have to file there. I mean this guy means the world to me, and I mean the world to him. He is the complete opposite of what the other guy was and I really hate that I allowed myself to go thru all this once with someone that had no intention of genuinely loving me and now it may jeopardize anything I want to do with my husband. I know all you VJ'ers have a wealth of knowledge and experience, and I was afraid of putting my business out there (cuz its rather embarrassing) but I'm just hoping someone can give me their thoughts on what you think our chances are. Thanks for listening, I look forward to your responses !!

[feli114 65]

If he has his LEGAL residence in Ghana, then he can file in Ghana. My fiance is from Nigeria and we went to Dakar Embassy. Life is a gamble, like you said, you love who you love. Good luck to you.

Edited June 11, 2012 by feli114

[livindadream 156]

If he has his LEGAL residence in Ghana, then he can file in Ghana. My fiance is from Nigeria and we went to Dakar Embassy. Life is a gamble, like you said, you love who you love. Good luck to you.

He doesnt have a permanent residency in Ghana. How did you go about doing it in Dakar? Was he a resident of Dakar? Did you do a DCF there, bcuz I read that they accept direct filing there. We looked into that option, but I think it will take a lot to become a resident of Dakar and start doing it that way..although I would LOVE to.

[romnick 15]

First of all congratulations on your marriage, may your new home be blessed. In another development, No pain, no gain. I am highly positive that a lot of lessons has been learnt from your previous relationship. You do have a couple of red flags, the age thing and the ex saga but still not impossible to get through it. It is a good thing that you have been spending a lot of time with your now husband, that will really lessen the reg flags on your ex issues but must be super prepare to answer to all the allegations he levelled against you to the immigration department because it will surely haunt you but with God on your side everything will be alright cos God is a God of judgement. Talking about the age, I really do not know where you guys stand about having a baby or babies but as An African , A Nigerian as a matter of fact, Kids are very important to us. I will advice that you guys should start working on getting pregnant because that would go a long way in helping him to secure the visa. At 42, the chance of having a baby gets slimmer each passing day. With you guys having a baby to also show during the interview and with enormous proof of on going relationship evidences, I sincerely believe you will surely overcome most of the red flags. One of my friends was in a similar situation a couple of years ago but during the adjustment interview here in the US infact she was 44 and my friend was 34 at the time, they were there with their little boy and the officer just asked if the baby was btw them and that was the end of the interview regardless of their red flags they got approved. Every case is different but we can always relate anything to our situations.You have done so well by spending more time with him over the years. Talking about his residency in Ghana, Does he have his own business or schooling in Ghana? I will be able to help him out with the residency process in Ghana if hes doing either of the 2. I lived in Ghana for almost 7 years and I am also a Nigerian. Feel free to PM me anytime should you need further clarifications. Stay blessed.

[livindadream 156]

First of all congratulations on your marriage, may your new home be blessed. In another development, No pain, no gain. I am highly positive that a lot of lessons has been learnt from your previous relationship. You do have a couple of red flags, the age thing and the ex saga but still not impossible to get through it. It is a good thing that you have been spending a lot of time with your now husband, that will really lessen the reg flags on your ex issues but must be super prepare to answer to all the allegations he levelled against you to the immigration department because it will surely haunt you but with God on your side everything will be alright cos God is a God of judgement. Talking about the age, I really do not know where you guys stand about having a baby or babies but as An African , A Nigerian as a matter of fact, Kids are very important to us. I will advice that you guys should start working on getting pregnant because that would go a long way in helping him to secure the visa. At 42, the chance of having a baby gets slimmer each passing day. With you guys having a baby to also show during the interview and with enormous proof of on going relationship evidences, I sincerely believe you will surely overcome most of the red flags. One of my friends was in a similar situation a couple of years ago but during the adjustment interview here in the US infact she was 44 and my friend was 34 at the time, they were there with their little boy and the officer just asked if the baby was btw them and that was the end of the interview regardless of their red flags they got approved. Every case is different but we can always relate anything to our situations.You have done so well by spending more time with him over the years. Talking about his residency in Ghana, Does he have his own business or schooling in Ghana? I will be able to help him out with the residency process in Ghana if hes doing either of the 2. I lived in Ghana for almost 7 years and I am also a Nigerian. Feel free to PM me anytime should you need further clarifications. Stay blessed.

Hi Romnick,

Thanks for all the great info..As for having children, we def plan to do our best. I was actually pregnant last time I was in Ghana, but unfortunately miscarried after a few months. We want to have a child becuz WE want a child, I would never do it for immigration purposes....even if it meant I had to live in Ghana my whole life. When you say that I should be prepared to answer all the questions regarding the allegations my ex made against me...do you mean I would have to do that BEFORE he was granted a visa, or would that be during an interview process when we are both in the states, as in...before they lift conditions from his GC? I intend on filing the CR-1 so im not familiar with this process. As for him, working or schooling in Ghana. His dad is in architect..and my husband goes back and forth doing jobs with him from time to time. Nothing steady. We supplement our income by buying stuff in the states and then bringing it here to sell. He said it would be easy for him to obtain something to indicate that he is a resident of Ghana, but he wants to do things officially and not form up anything that is not true. Did you go thru your process in GH or NG? I heard Ghana embassy is reallyyyy slow. And that they are also fond of putting people on automatic AP. Especially Nigerians. lol...

[romnick 15]

I had made mention of having babies to further strenghten you guys visa approval as one of the valid evidences of a REAL and Valid relationship and not suggesting that you do it for immigration purposes. As a Nigerian, I am quite aware of the fact that we treasure kids and I knew for a fact that your husband will want one LOL. Yeah, Ghana used to be extremely slow infact I was a victim of the backlogged 2 years ago, I had to switch it over to Nigeria after waiting forever to have an interview in Ghana cos I was originally scheduled to have my interview done in Ghana. There is a wealth of information on this site so you will be learning a lot throughout your visa journey. I think the only thing that is slow now in Ghana is the collection of the visa after the approval, they are currently backlogged on that one LOL A month to a month an a half wait to collect the visa but I guess that is better than to wait for almost 2 years to get interviewed after the close of the case at the NVC level, that was how bad it was back then. Talking about the issues regarding your ex that I had mention in the previous comment, They will surely ask your hubby why your ex left and so on or even asked you to be there to answer to the allegations even though generally you arent allowed to be present during the interview but in your own case if your would be consular officer is not fully convinced of your husband explanations during the interview you may be requested to show up so everything will be asked during the interview and not before or after but may sure you front load your petition since you have so much evidences already. Smile!

[livindadream 156]

I had made mention of having babies to further strenghten you guys visa approval as one of the valid evidences of a REAL and Valid relationship and not suggesting that you do it for immigration purposes. As a Nigerian, I am quite aware of the fact that we treasure kids and I knew for a fact that your husband will want one LOL. Yeah, Ghana used to be extremely slow infact I was a victim of the backlogged 2 years ago, I had to switch it over to Nigeria after waiting forever to have an interview in Ghana cos I was originally scheduled to have my interview done in Ghana. There is a wealth of information on this site so you will be learning a lot throughout your visa journey. I think the only thing that is slow now in Ghana is the collection of the visa after the approval, they are currently backlogged on that one LOL A month to a month an a half wait to collect the visa but I guess that is better than to wait for almost 2 years to get interviewed after the close of the case at the NVC level, that was how bad it was back then. Talking about the issues regarding your ex that I had mention in the previous comment, They will surely ask your hubby why your ex left and so on or even asked you to be there to answer to the allegations even though generally you arent allowed to be present during the interview but in your own case if your would be consular officer is not fully convinced of your husband explanations during the interview you may be requested to show up so everything will be asked during the interview and not before or after but may sure you front load your petition since you have so much evidences already. Smile!

No no no..dont get me wrong..i didnt mean to insinuate that YOU were saying we should have a child for visa purposes..I was saying it regarding the immigration people, that I hope they dont expect me to have a child just for a visa..that would be nuts. But I hear what you're saying. We of course want a child or two and will do whatever it takes to have one..we've already discussed all options if it came down to anything drastic. But Im sure I have it in me..lol. My husband knows everything about me and the whole situation with the other guy. So I dont think there would be anything he couldnt answer...and I would LOVE for them to let me into the interview !!! Wow, so you experienced the Ghana embassy first hand..lucky you. lol. Im dealing with immigration as we speak..it takes them 3 weeks just to stamp my passport to extend my visa..ughh..got to love it !!

[feli114 65]

He doesnt have a permanent residency in Ghana. How did you go about doing it in Dakar? Was he a resident of Dakar? Did you do a DCF there, bcuz I read that they accept direct filing there. We looked into that option, but I think it will take a lot to become a resident of Dakar and start doing it that way..although I would LOVE to.

He has his resident permit for Dakar. We did a fiance visa. I attended the interview. I believe you either have to have business ties or be a student in Dakar to become a resident. I dont know if Ghana has the same requirements.

[Olomi_811 130]

Congrats on your marriage! It sounds like you have a keeper! Based on your responses it looks like your husband's petition will go through Lagos. There are residency requirements for DCF and you don't appear eligible to do that. Something you must consider later is showing that you are above the poverty level guideline and can provide for your husband. You also must show residency here for both of you. As for your relationship being established with your present husband while going through divorce proceedings, this should not prove to be a problem as long as your divorce was finalized before marriage and if you followed the separation guidelines according to your state of residency. It's great that you have spent so much time with your husband. If you have family and friends who have met/talked to him or know significant details about your relationship have them write letters and get them notarized to send with your petition. Have your husband's people do the same. I have seen several people say that they (husband and wife) wrote letters stating how they met and the course their relationship followed. This could work in your favor. Be sure to send in copies of your divorce decree with your petition as well. Frontload as much as you can.

You and your husband know your red flags. Have serious conversations about them, tell him everything about your past relationship and all you know was reported about you. Even if you're denied you can apply again, but don't be discouraged you have a "home" with him regardless of what happens.

Best wishes!

Edited June 11, 2012 by Olomi_811

[romnick 15]

No problem. I will keep you both in my prayers. Everything will work out fine by God's grace. Take a lot of pictures together and with some family members of your husband. I guess you should file through Lagos, Nigeria but it will cost you a one time fee of $200 if not a little more now for Ghana police character certificate as a non- Resident as against $15 as a Resident which was what I paid then cos I had my residency there as a student. The certificate can be obtained at Sankara Police HQ in Accra so include that in your future budget. That is all that he will need out of Ghana. Olomi also made an important statement, Ensure you meet the minimum poverty requirement or else you may have to look for a Joint sponsor. Feel free to contact me anytime.