What should the Asian women do for their lives and their families if they married to American citizen men?

[lierre 224]

You have pretty bad attitude for Asian countries and Asian women. Are you married one of us?

well, I already wrote a long reply but I decided to delete all.. and make it short..

My life is better in term of the never-ending happiness in our marriage.

My life is worse.. the worst, in term of my own earning. I left a job that paid me triple more than I am making here.. and I'm from one of the "POOR" countries you mentioned.

Reading your post made me feel sick!

I agree with her post.

Many of us choose to move because the distance is just too much to bear.

Please stop stereotyping Asian citizens, David Hien... We, Asian women, deserve better.

[Darnell 8,478]

What should the Asian women do for their lives and their families if they married to American citizen men?

Oh - that's easy. Sit for a master's degree whilst making babies and doing part time work, whilst connecting in with 'the network' here in the USA. Then, once she has her master's degree, she can get a big job, afford to pay for daycare, and then start sending monies back home to support her other families.

If she's lucky, she would have married to a USCitizen that loves her dearly, and assists with 'cultural assimilation' into the USA - the two of them have started a new family, and life is grand.

[ScottThuy 140]

You have pretty bad attitude for Asian countries and Asian women. Are you married one of us?

well, I already wrote a long reply but I decided to delete all.. and make it short..

My life is better in term of the never-ending happiness in our marriage.

My life is worse.. the worst, in term of my own earning. I left a job that paid me triple more than I am making here.. and I'm from one of the "POOR" countries you mentioned.

Reading your post made me feel sick!

OP is VN woman maried to US man, she immigrated years ago... maybe she came here for love and is amazed by the number of others that came here for $....

[quann 26]

the thread kept getting hits so it stayed on the front page so it got views from other regions. i don't expect a canadian or european woman to understand the plight of a vietnamese woman through their ethnocentric pov, just like i don't go into the latin america section and give my opinion. someone from thailand saying they come from a "POOR" country is almost laughable, or a filipino saying these women who come over not because of love makes it harder for legit couples...hello kettle meet pot.

having said all that OP is in way over her head with this dissertation, should probably find another cause to put her energy behind.

[ScottThuy 140]

having said all that OP is in way over her head with this dissertation, should probably find another cause to put her energy behind.

By no means is she working on a dissertation... an argumentative essay maybe...

[quann 26]

By no means is she working on a dissertation... an argumentative essay maybe...

that's taking years? she should come to socal, i'll get her in touch with a dozen women who immigrated over here on k-1/cr-1 visas. she'll have it done in a week.

[pddp 240]

the thread kept getting hits so it stayed on the front page so it got views from other regions. i don't expect a canadian or european woman to understand the plight of a vietnamese woman through their ethnocentric pov, just like i don't go into the latin america section and give my opinion. someone from thailand saying they come from a "POOR" country is almost laughable, or a filipino saying these women who come over not because of love makes it harder for legit couples...hello kettle meet pot.

And who are you to make judgments about what other people "understand" or not? What do you know about a person based on the country of their passport? Who are you to define their background and level of "understanding"?

[rlogan 2,036]

The better dissertation to do is on the "rescue industry" parasites that pretend they are the protectors of immigrants for marriage.

They like to stereotype the immigrants as helpless, ignorant victims of evil exploitative men - human trafficking victims - or alternatively just prostitutes selling themselves. Because if they are looked upon as normal adult humans then there isn't anything anyone can say or do. That's why it is so important to insinuate they are either human trafficking victims or prostitutes - because these are things we "do something" about. The OP was careful not to make the stereotype offensive, but it was nevertheless a stereotype.

Whether you look upon them with pity or look upon them with scorn, either one demonstrates there is something wrong with the onlooker who simply refuses to consider them as equals to himself. There isn't anything to either pity or scoff at. We don't ever ask that of an American woman marrying an American man. There is no difference between this and the bigotry of racism where the racist is so sure of themselves that dark skin makes someone less capable, less human, less deserving of rights than a white person. It is not decent behavior to either pity or denounce someone with darker skin, lower income, different religious belief, etc.

[David-Hien 11]

Wow. I just fly over all your answers. Thank you all for your answers. I would use all necessary questions to perfect my argument.

I would like to clarify some points as follows:

1. Someone thought that I was a man? I put my husband's name first in the nick according to tradition. People always says "husband and wife," no one says "wife and husband." So, Pls do not call me as a man here.

2. Someone thought that I was overhead and I should talk to over 10 women who came to the US by fiance visa? I talked to more than 10 of them in the legal cases. I have a lot of data in the library of school and even in the law library. However, I just want to make my English language clear and simple because this is not a complaint to sue anyone or a response to the complaint in the Legal Courts.

3. I just want to let the men understand their women, but someone seem want to say for their wives. Really? Are you sure that you know what your wives are thinking?

Edited June 10, 2012 by David-Hien

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

OP i don't understand what your thesis is and what kind of answers you're looking for. will the essay be in english or vietnamese? imo you don't have enough grasp of the english language to communicate your thoughts clearly or transcribe the experiences of other viet wives you come across if it's done in english. also do we differentiate the "american citizen men" between caucasians and viet kieu? the experience for the wives will be markedly different. what about being buddhist or catholic/christian? if you belong to a church group the support there will be quite stronger? etc etc.

this is a fallacy imo, maybe for the petitioner but not beneficiary. i'm confident most beneficiaries don't "fall in love" in the traditional sense. i mean how could you? you talk to this person once a day, at most 2-3 hours? you see them in person 20-25 days in a good year? sometimes you talk to them for a few months, see them once...and get married. it's not a normal courtship, so kinda hard to fall in love. i see it more as an arranged marriage, and at best the couple will learn to love each other through the years.

there are exceptions, but most viet beneficiaries agree to this deal because they want a better opportunity elsewhere than the one they're currently in. you don't voluntarily agree to leave your home, your family, your friends, your life, the familiar surroundings to go to a strange land with a man you barely know. and i'm not even talking about the good ole USA. hundreds of women are being picked for marriage everyday to china, korea, japan in HCM.

you forgot to mention Taiwan...

[David-Hien 11]

The better dissertation to do is on the "rescue industry" parasites that pretend they are the protectors of immigrants for marriage.

They like to stereotype the immigrants as helpless, ignorant victims of evil exploitative men - human trafficking victims - or alternatively just prostitutes selling themselves. Because if they are looked upon as normal adult humans then there isn't anything anyone can say or do. That's why it is so important to insinuate they are either human trafficking victims or prostitutes - because these are things we "do something" about. The OP was careful not to make the stereotype offensive, but it was nevertheless a stereotype.

Whether you look upon them with pity or look upon them with scorn, either one demonstrates there is something wrong with the onlooker who simply refuses to consider them as equals to himself. There isn't anything to either pity or scoff at. We don't ever ask that of an American woman marrying an American man. There is no difference between this and the bigotry of racism where the racist is so sure of themselves that dark skin makes someone less capable, less human, less deserving of rights than a white person. It is not decent behavior to either pity or denounce someone with darker skin, lower income, different religious belief, etc.

As I answered. I am a woman. I came to the US by fiance visa. That is why I want to write about it. I work on the fiance visa, then do green card with my husband, then 10 years green card by myself, finally is the naturalization. I also worked very hard to assist my husband, took care of children, and went back to school for a degree. I worked in the immigration cases as well. I feel painful in many cases that made my heart broken and angry.

Yes, "We don't ask that of an American women marring an American man," but the USCIS will ask why do Alien women, especially from Vietnam and some other Asian countries, marry their American men? Because we apply for visa entering their country, the USA.

Edited June 10, 2012 by David-Hien

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

As I answered. I am a woman. I came to the US by fiance visa. That is why I want to write about it. I work on the fiance visa, then do green card with my husband, then 10 years green card by myself, finally is the naturalization. I also worked very hard to assist my husband, took care of children, and went back to school for a degree. I worked in the immigration cases as well. I feel painful in many cases that made my heart broken and angry.

Yes, "We don't ask that of an American women marring an American man," but the USCIS will ask why do Alien women, especially from Vietnam and some other Asian countries, marry their American men? Because we apply for visa entering their country, the USA.

Em gai.. a coi em la em gai VN moi qua.. em ko co hieu nhieu ve ben MY.... a chi noi voi em cau nay thoi... " Luoi ko suong nhieu duong lac leo" em hieu a noi vay la duoc roi..

[ScottThuy 140]

As I answered. I am a woman. I came to the US by fiance visa. That is why I want to write about it. I work on the fiance visa, then do green card with my husband, then 10 years green card by myself, finally is the naturalization. I also worked very hard to assist my husband, took care of children, and went back to school for a degree. I worked in the immigration cases as well. I feel painful in many cases that made my heart broken and angry.

Yes, "We don't ask that of an American women marring an American man," but the USCIS will ask why do Alien women, especially from Vietnam and some other Asian countries, marry their American men? Because we apply for visa entering their country, the USA.

Nobody asked my wife why she wanted tomarry me... not one time in the process did that question come up.. they do require a valid reason to issue a visa... and intent to be or being married is one of those reasons... The question must be asked by USCIS to be sure that the requirement forimmigration is being met...

"I worked in the immigration cases as well."

A Lawyer? Worked at an Atty office? A dich vu?

[David-Hien 11]

Em gai.. a coi em la em gai VN moi qua.. em ko co hieu nhieu ve ben MY.... a chi noi voi em cau nay thoi... " Luoi ko suong nhieu duong lac leo" em hieu a noi vay la duoc roi..

"Luoi khong xuong, nhieu duong lat leo." Chi hay la anh gi do, viet sai chinh ta nhieu qua'. Mat goc Vietnam roi :-((

Vay thi em thich noi sao cung duoc ma? Ai biet la yeu that hay gia? Dieu quan trong la cuoc song moi tren dat My co hanh phuc nhu nguoi ta mong muon hay khong?

[Maria TH 20]

Wow. I just fly over all your answers. Thank you all for your answers. I would use all necessary questions to perfect my argument.

I would like to clarify some points as follows:

1. Someone thought that I was a man? I put my husband's name first in the nick according to tradition. People always says "husband and wife," no one says "wife and husband." So, Pls do not call me as a man here.

No, I thought the first post was from a man because it is hard to believe that it is the "Asian woman" who has bad attitude and stereotyping other Asian women.

2. Someone thought that I was overhead and I should talk to over 10 women who came to the US by fiance visa? I talked to more than 10 of them in the legal cases. I have a lot of data in the library of school and even in the law library. However, I just want to make my English language clear and simple because this is not a complaint to sue anyone or a response to the complaint in the Legal Courts.

3. I just want to let the men understand their women, but someone seem want to say for their wives. Really? Are you sure that you know what your wives are thinking?

Do you really think that you know better than the husbands about how their wives are thinking?

Come on! Happy marriage with love and care does exist even you have never seen it.

You know, a fish will never believe that there is something can live or fly in the air.

And please write your essay only about troubles that you have seen, do not write the assumption about others that you don't understand them.