What should the Asian women do for their lives and their families if they married to American citizen men?

[MuDelphi 159]

one of the worst threads I've ever seen

[engineer21 51]

Should not matter where you live.. So long as you have a nice porch to sit side by side on a Friday night, playing footsie. Forever and always

[Darnell 8,479]

Just let people raise their ideas. You will see many different ideas.

This is one of my essay's topic that I created by myself. It is good when you know what your wife is thinking about her new life. It is not complanation or fighting, but a study of my experience and life here, the US. I will post my idea later. It is the newest study; therefore, I have to submit my essay before I post it.

is this for a 'for credit ' class, where one receives a grade?

[lierre 224]

this is a fallacy imo, maybe for the petitioner but not beneficiary. i'm confident most beneficiaries don't "fall in love" in the traditional sense. i mean how could you? you talk to this person once a day, at most 2-3 hours? you see them in person 20-25 days in a good year? sometimes you talk to them for a few months, see them once...and get married. it's not a normal courtship, so kinda hard to fall in love. i see it more as an arranged marriage, and at best the couple will learn to love each other through the years.

Geez. What a hasty generalization. The OP should also make sure not to do that with his/her "research" for the essay.

Ours wasn't courtship, but mine wasn't normal dating either. Sadly, there might be people who do that (get a meal ticket husband, as quoted earlier), but come on now, not everyone who meets a US citizen online and marries them does so for such a fraudulent reason.

Existence of "meal ticket" relationships is the primary reason why us, people who have great, real (but long distance ) relationships have a tough time applying for visas.

I feel sorry for the meal ticket husband. I know my wife is in love with me and would live with me in any country. There is no minimum time frame one must meet before it is possible to fall in love. Was your marriage a business transaction "deal" for you?

It is those types of people (that marry to better their standards of living alone and not for love) that create the stereotype that exists today about marrying foreign women. I believe that if those are the true underlying intentions, it is considered fraud.

Edited June 9, 2012 by ivyanddan

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Process is neither fast nor inexpensive.

But youalso cannot say "yes, it is the right thing" or "no, they should stay home". It depends on the individual case. Some people will adjust to the new life- and it IS a big culture shock, especially if the woman comes from a small rural village- some will never adjust, and/ or will find that long-distance courtship is quite different from everyday life. The important thing is to go into this "adventure" with open eyes, to talk not just with your fiancee but also others, and to realise that while the USC may be able to "throw his cash around" in Vietnam (or any other relatively poor country), once a life is made as a couple in the USA, they may be comparatively poor.

I have been instilling this in my Fiancee and I think she get's it. I hope so anyway.

Personally I suspect that this may be part of the reason why issues comes up with new entrants shortly after entrance into the US and the reality sets in. I think that the inability to get tourist visas, and also the distance, for some countries is a disservice. The Canadians especially, as well as countries in the VWP are at a distinct advantage in seeing the day to day of how life really is and to see their USC in that setting.

Edited June 9, 2012 by Gowon

[Sayha or bust. 71]

OP i don't understand what your thesis is and what kind of answers you're looking for. will the essay be in english or vietnamese? imo you don't have enough grasp of the english language to communicate your thoughts clearly or transcribe the experiences of other viet wives you come across if it's done in english. also do we differentiate the "american citizen men" between caucasians and viet kieu? the experience for the wives will be markedly different. what about being buddhist or catholic/christian? if you belong to a church group the support there will be quite stronger? etc etc.

this is a fallacy imo, maybe for the petitioner but not beneficiary. i'm confident most beneficiaries don't "fall in love" in the traditional sense. i mean how could you? you talk to this person once a day, at most 2-3 hours? you see them in person 20-25 days in a good year? sometimes you talk to them for a few months, see them once...and get married. it's not a normal courtship, so kinda hard to fall in love. i see it more as an arranged marriage, and at best the couple will learn to love each other through the years.

there are exceptions, but most viet beneficiaries agree to this deal because they want a better opportunity elsewhere than the one they're currently in. you don't voluntarily agree to leave your home, your family, your friends, your life, the familiar surroundings to go to a strange land with a man you barely know. and i'm not even talking about the good ole USA. hundreds of women are being picked for marriage everyday to china, korea, japan in HCM.

I totally agree. I know my wife loves me but she also said she wantred a better life for her children and her and I'm ok with it.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

is this for a 'for credit ' class, where one receives a grade?

Just out of curiosity, what does it matter? It's optional.

[Maria TH 20]

The U.S. is the paradise that the poor families in Asian countries dream to live in. Under special types of visa such as fiancé and marriage visa, the legal process will be fast and inexpensive because there are the American citizen husbands who sponsor and pay for their wives’ process fees. In order to enter the US by this method, there are many Asian women accepted to leave their families and friends, quit their jobs, and get married to an American citizen to have an adventure in a new country. So, how are the lives of these Asian wives in the U.S.? Should these women leave their countries to hope for better lives or to stay on their poor countries?

You have pretty bad attitude for Asian countries and Asian women. Are you married one of us?

well, I already wrote a long reply but I decided to delete all.. and make it short..

My life is better in term of the never-ending happiness in our marriage.

My life is worse.. the worst, in term of my own earning. I left a job that paid me triple more than I am making here.. and I'm from one of the "POOR" countries you mentioned.

Reading your post made me feel sick!

[Kiwi123 8]

Do you know in Asian tradition/culture (whatever), girls have to follow their husbands? After a girl gets married, she has to leave her home to move in with her husband and the in-laws.

(That is one of the reasons families in Asian countries don't like to have daughters.)

Girls are raised up with that thought, follow husband, sacrifice themselves for family peace, it's in their minds as an "of-course" so they don't think twice, or have a mere thought about asking their husbands to stay in their countries (or ask their same race husbands to move in with their parents instead).

Hey, why don't you tell your wife that you want to live in her country and your are making plan to move? I think She will burst out happy tears.

P.S I don't like this thread and don't want to make it hotter with my comment, but after thinking I'm posting my reply here so others can understand more about us, Asian women.

[bigdog 376]

Maybe they make 4 times more than what their American counter part does and just want a good man and life in the USA.

[AtariBaby 17]

this is a fallacy imo, maybe for the petitioner but not beneficiary. i'm confident most beneficiaries don't "fall in love" in the traditional sense. i mean how could you? you talk to this person once a day, at most 2-3 hours? you see them in person 20-25 days in a good year? sometimes you talk to them for a few months, see them once...and get married. it's not a normal courtship, so kinda hard to fall in love. i see it more as an arranged marriage, and at best the couple will learn to love each other through the years.

This leaves out a whole world of scenarios. For example, many do fall genuinely in love and move to one country because they can't stand being apart any longer. They get married despite the fact they'll have to move to the U.S. and live there, not because of it.

[rlogan 2,036]

Should these women leave their countries to hope for better lives or to stay on their poor countries?

Nobody's business but hers. Anyone thinking they have the right to choose for her is an arrogant, conceited fool and looks upon her as a sub-human with inferior rights.

The U.S. is the paradise that the poor families in Asian countries dream to live in.

Comic book or child's fantasy version of reality.

Under special types of visa such as fiancé and marriage visa, the legal process will be fast and inexpensive because there are the American citizen husbands who sponsor and pay for their wives’ process fees.

Rubbish. We've spent over ten thousand, rough order of magnitude in direct plus indirect costs, spent four years of anguish dealing with this incredible bureaucracy and have at least three more years to go.

In order to enter the US by this method, there are many Asian women accepted to leave their families and friends, quit their jobs, and get married to an American citizen to have an adventure in a new country. So, how are the lives of these Asian wives in the U.S.?

Presuming they are worse off is insinuating they are too stupid to return home. Some do. Most don't. Therefore... (duh)

Edited June 9, 2012 by rlogan

[ManilatoSeattle 6]

Isn't you come to marry someone whatever citizen he/she for love? I guess this sounded like if some people will be greedy enough to think that USA is a better country and a better future for you won't make any sense for someone to come over to US. well there will be no better future for you.

For instance you will just annoy your partner by complaining you aren't happy blah blah blah. Better future will start from you not where you at!

[Clariz 2]

others want a new place ( mostly away from home) whether it will be realized through marriage or not...

Edited June 9, 2012 by Clariz

[unlockingsky 94]

So, how are the lives of these Asian wives in the U.S.? Should these women leave their countries to hope for better lives or to stay on their poor countries?

this is an situational answer based on person to person. it is best to ask your fiance/wife.

my wife wants to be with me.