missing husband

[ManuFred 10]

I'm sorry to say, but all this talk of revoke this, contact this, report this...blah blah blah...is all pretty much useless and he will stay in the states and be granted all he wishes to be granted. There are a million ways he will make the system work in his favor. My ex-husband did this to me. We were together, he came to the states, and shortly thereafter he met up with other Nigerians and they all advised him on how he could beat the system and he did. He started an argument with me one day over a phone call and before I knew it ..he was leaving. I cried and begged for him not to leave, but he just kept going. I had no idea where he was staying, he changed his phone number, didnt reply to my emails, etc. I went to homeland security 2 weeks later and reported him gone and told them i suspected fraud. After all this...I found out he said I thru him out of the house, treated him bad, etc. He was granted ALL that he wished for and my name was dragged thru the mud just to save himself. If anyone at the USCIS or any of these places had a brain, they wud reason that why would someone go thru ALLLLL I had to go thru to have him come here, just to throw him out? I mean get real. I was the best wife anyone could be to someone, but they dont even contact you to get your side of the story. They protected him as if he was some victim !!! So please dont waste your time and energy trying to fight anything or get him deported or anything. LET HIM GO. Just move on with your life and put all this behind you. You've spent a LONGGG time going thru the process of having him be there with you...dont waste anymore of your life now trying to undo the process....bcuz in the end, it wont work anyways!! The man I am with now, said something to me, that I will now say to you: This guy you were with and all he did to you..."one day he will surely be paid with the same coin that he spent".

The withdrawl of sponsorship is not necessarely gonna lead to this guys' deportation but will protect the OP from financial liabililty for this guy in the next ten years. The chance of this guy not to be deported makes revoking support actually a priority. The others are absolutely right with their advice.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

So, what is your progress on revoking the I-864?

[cappucino boy 29]

A very good response to a very bad situation. I hope the OP is able to use this information!

An excellent response and Impossible I hope you take this person's advice.

[Impossible 30]

Thanks again for all the advise. This is where everything stands as of right now. We used a lawyer to process out K1. I got a hold of him today and updated him on my situation, he immediately drew up the letter to withdraw my petition for AOS. He also is sending me tomorrow to a local Uscis office here that has a fraud unit. At this point I still don't know where my husband is, and I am thinking I might never know. For many reasons this might be the best thing for me due to some of the threats, but to be honest it really is driving me crazy. I am taking advise of others and attempting to put my emotions on hold and do what I have to do to protect myself right now.

[PMartin37 161]

It's not about vengeance or about seeking validation for it, is about justice, that's all it is!. Why would you allow people to wreck your home, play with your emotions, scam you,treat you and hurt you?. I truly believe we have to respond to any violation or abuse and not let people rob your peace and wrap your heart. Vengeance does not call for punishment. We have a system to protect us,many people are saying "oh Immigration won't do anything against him blah blah blah", well they are wrong! I go to the Immigration Court almost every day of the week for the past 10 years and I saw thousands of people being deported!. In 2011 the United states deported 396,906 people, 54.6% of them were criminal offenders, but 46% of the deportees were people out of status, illegal, fake marriage, people caught at the border etc, they are not sleeping, they work hard!

I am an attorney and I own a non profit organization who helps victim of domestic violence as well and our message is SPEAK OUT!!! To say let go, move on, forgive him/ forget him is not constructive. We build a strong society with moral values when we demand Justice! She said she was psychological and physical abused by her husband then she must not let him get away with freedom.We need to teach our kids to demand justice and respect because without justice a society would fall apart.

Report a fraudulent marriage to the ICE, call at (866) 347-2423.

"The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice".

(Martin Luther King, Jr).

:thumbs: I totally agree!! You don't let being ABUSED go.

[PMartin37 161]

Thanks again for all the advise. This is where everything stands as of right now. We used a lawyer to process out K1. I got a hold of him today and updated him on my situation, he immediately drew up the letter to withdraw my petition for AOS. He also is sending me tomorrow to a local Uscis office here that has a fraud unit. At this point I still don't know where my husband is, and I am thinking I might never know. For many reasons this might be the best thing for me due to some of the threats, but to be honest it really is driving me crazy. I am taking advise of others and attempting to put my emotions on hold and do what I have to do to protect myself right now.

I'm curious to know, did this man have a job at any time during your marriage? I just have a feeling from his clearly calculated email that he might be setting you up for something or trying to build his own defense. If he never worked, it will be interesting for him to prove he bought anything for himself. If I were you, I'd be digging up credit card receipts , etc. of things you've purchased for him as well as proof that you've paid mortgage, utility bills, etc. Personally, I'd be building myself an arsenal of proof against him at this point. If he's threatened you physically, do you have proof of that also? I'm glad you've decided to fight. I don't think it's right to let people get away with wrongdoing, because that only frees them to violate someone else in the same way. And he will.

[RickJovi 81]

Nicole she suffered domestic violence and domestic violence is a crime by the perpetrator, not the victim! IT'S NOT HER FAULT!!!!!.The batterer is the only one responsible here not her. If you do not understand the dynamics of abuse please educate yourself. It's cruel, to say the least.

Not siding with her ouch bag of a husband, but without proof of physical abuse, she has no case against him for domestic violence, especially if the police were never called and there is no police reports. Now emails if she has them can shows threats, psychological abuse and fear for her life. I hope she gets justice, but hearsay is hearsay without facts and proof.

[Impossible 30]

I'm curious to know, did this man have a job at any time during your marriage? I just have a feeling from his clearly calculated email that he might be setting you up for something or trying to build his own defense. If he never worked, it will be interesting for him to prove he bought anything for himself. If I were you, I'd be digging up credit card receipts , etc. of things you've purchased for him as well as proof that you've paid mortgage, utility bills, etc. Personally, I'd be building myself an arsenal of proof against him at this point. If he's threatened you physically, do you have proof of that also? I'm glad you've decided to fight. I don't think it's right to let people get away with wrongdoing, because that only frees them to violate someone else in the same way. And he will.

He actually did work some the table some..and yes I am not saying he didnt buy himself a thing..he did buy himself cigarettes and would refuse most of the food i cooked and would go to fast food places (this was only while he was working). What he didnt pay was household expenses, grocery bills, gas, etc. Even if he made quite a bit of money he would only give me 100 a month..he said he wasnt costing me anymore money because he was here..I had this house before him and all these bills before he came and they weren't his responsibility. I always kept trying to explain that this was a marriage and our home, and it was unfair that it all fell on my shoulders. Before he came I worked at 40 hour a week job, now I work 40 hours a week plus another per diem job and take extra hours at my fulltime job. If it is truly that he costed me no more money why am i working harder now then I have done in years. He never could see the increase in grocery bills, electric, water, heating(because he was always cold), the extra gas because he used my car daily even if only for short trips, the money I paid when he entered into sports events..nothing...he said I loved money more then him..

[Impossible 30]

Not siding with her ouch bag of a husband, but without proof of physical abuse, she has no case against him for domestic violence, especially if the police were never called and there is no police reports. Now emails if she has them can shows threats, psychological abuse and fear for her life. I hope she gets justice, but hearsay is hearsay without facts and proof.

That is true, I never did report anything to the authorities. Honestly I kept thinking it was the stress of this whole process. I keep thinking he would relax into the man i feel in love with when he got his EAD, SS Card, Work Auth, and greencard...well I guess he did relax once he got some of that stuff..he relaxed into a new location. What i find confusing is he actually thinks he is all set with his greencard, he feels since he has all the other stuff the greencard is 100% his. Either he is getting horrible advise from friends or I don't know. ugh

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

I have been on the road so I am a little late here. Make sure to withdrawl the affidavit of support ( it is his aos, you can't withdraw it but pulling the affidavit kills it ) Take all the emails that he has sent especially the one where he threatens to kill you. Take a copy of the same email to the local police and ask for a restraining or protective order. When he violates it , report him ( in most states even calling you once he is served violates it ) Change your locks , the passwords on your accounts and kill any cards he has access to.

You didn't marry a man , you married someone with the morals of pig ####. There are people that would pretend to be in love with a month dead cow if it would get them a green card. There is no concern for the damage they do to those they walk on to get there and they feel they are justified in what they do. You should not feel the least bit of regret for reporting his actions and letting the system take care of him. Shame on those that recommended that you just let him go. They are supporters of his behavior and all the others that think the sole purpose of a USC is to provide them with the quickie path to a green card. Even if the act is driven by desparation to get out of a third world country no one has the right to abuse the love of an innocent person for their own self advancement. Report him, cut him off and shut him off.

[PMartin37 161]

He actually did work some the table some..and yes I am not saying he didnt buy himself a thing..he did buy himself cigarettes and would refuse most of the food i cooked and would go to fast food places (this was only while he was working). What he didnt pay was household expenses, grocery bills, gas, etc. Even if he made quite a bit of money he would only give me 100 a month..he said he wasnt costing me anymore money because he was here..I had this house before him and all these bills before he came and they weren't his responsibility. I always kept trying to explain that this was a marriage and our home, and it was unfair that it all fell on my shoulders. Before he came I worked at 40 hour a week job, now I work 40 hours a week plus another per diem job and take extra hours at my fulltime job. If it is truly that he costed me no more money why am i working harder now then I have done in years. He never could see the increase in grocery bills, electric, water, heating(because he was always cold), the extra gas because he used my car daily even if only for short trips, the money I paid when he entered into sports events..nothing...he said I loved money more then him..

I'm really so sorry for what you've been through. Not saying this to hurt you at all...but this person ( I won't even call him a man) is a parasite and I'm truly glad you've taken steps to make him accountable for his actions. Best of luck to you and I hope you'll find love one day from a MAN that deserves you!

[Olomi_811 130]

If your husband continues to communicate with you through email there is an IP address attached which could lead you to a physical address. I'm not suggesting that you show up there informing you of how to track his whereabouts.

[lierre 224]

Thanks again for all the advise. This is where everything stands as of right now. We used a lawyer to process out K1. I got a hold of him today and updated him on my situation, he immediately drew up the letter to withdraw my petition for AOS. He also is sending me tomorrow to a local Uscis office here that has a fraud unit. At this point I still don't know where my husband is, and I am thinking I might never know. For many reasons this might be the best thing for me due to some of the threats, but to be honest it really is driving me crazy. I am taking advise of others and attempting to put my emotions on hold and do what I have to do to protect myself right now.

I hope for the best for you, Impossible

[RickJovi 81]

That is true, I never did report anything to the authorities. Honestly I kept thinking it was the stress of this whole process. I keep thinking he would relax into the man i feel in love with when he got his EAD, SS Card, Work Auth, and greencard...well I guess he did relax once he got some of that stuff..he relaxed into a new location. What i find confusing is he actually thinks he is all set with his greencard, he feels since he has all the other stuff the greencard is 100% his. Either he is getting horrible advise from friends or I don't know. ugh

So he already has his green card? If so there is nothing you can do. You can no longer pull the affidavit of support once he has the card. I was in a sim,ilar situation and divorced my ex. She is in California and her card expires on November 2, 2012. I have been informed by many people that she will most likely get her conditions removed as filing a waiver based on a Marriage in Good Faith is not hard to prove. Some pictures, anything with your name jouintly on paperwork, pictures and affidavits from friends who can say they saw us as husband and wife. I did file evidence against her and had a wintess statement also. I just hope that leaving without marriage counseling or trying to work on saving the marriage and only having the green card for 7 months will carry some sort of weight. If not, I really don't care. I am happily engaged to Jovi and my ex did me a favor and got out of my life so someone who actually loves me and appreciates me could come into my life. It was hard the first month, especially when I obtained pictures of her in her American brother-in-laws best freinds arms romantically involved less than 3 weeks of leaving me and while we were still married. I am living proof that there is life after the betrayal and someone more deserving of your love is waiting for you. Now I will say this, as I know some people from West Africa and they say Nigeria is one of the most scamming countries in Africa. Maybe you should look else where. And for the Nigerians, I am not saying that all of you are scammers, but a lot of you are. This is based on other Africans not from Nigeria and of course the scams ran trying to get peoples money from their accounts using scam e-mails and also documented on CNN, etc... There are a lot of good, but also a lot of bad. So no offense is meant, so please don't take it that way. If you are upset then maybe you are in the scammer category.

Edited June 9, 2012 by RickJovi

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

No, he did not get his greencard yet.