missing husband

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'm sorry to say, but all this talk of revoke this, contact this, report this...blah blah blah...is all pretty much useless and he will stay in the states and be granted all he wishes to be granted. There are a million ways he will make the system work in his favor. My ex-husband did this to me. We were together, he came to the states, and shortly thereafter he met up with other Nigerians and they all advised him on how he could beat the system and he did. He started an argument with me one day over a phone call and before I knew it ..he was leaving. I cried and begged for him not to leave, but he just kept going. I had no idea where he was staying, he changed his phone number, didnt reply to my emails, etc. I went to homeland security 2 weeks later and reported him gone and told them i suspected fraud. After all this...I found out he said I thru him out of the house, treated him bad, etc. He was granted ALL that he wished for and my name was dragged thru the mud just to save himself. If anyone at the USCIS or any of these places had a brain, they wud reason that why would someone go thru ALLLLL I had to go thru to have him come here, just to throw him out? I mean get real. I was the best wife anyone could be to someone, but they dont even contact you to get your side of the story. They protected him as if he was some victim !!! So please dont waste your time and energy trying to fight anything or get him deported or anything. LET HIM GO. Just move on with your life and put all this behind you. You've spent a LONGGG time going thru the process of having him be there with you...dont waste anymore of your life now trying to undo the process....bcuz in the end, it wont work anyways!! The man I am with now, said something to me, that I will now say to you: This guy you were with and all he did to you..."one day he will surely be paid with the same coin that he spent".

We've discussed this before. USC themselves DO NOT have the power to deport anyone, only the GMen can do that.

What is to be done is for the OP to withdraw the I-864 so that she is not responsible for him financially.

[MnnnB 4]

I'm sorry to say, but all this talk of revoke this, contact this, report this...blah blah blah...is all pretty much useless and he will stay in the states and be granted all he wishes to be granted. There are a million ways he will make the system work in his favor. My ex-husband did this to me. We were together, he came to the states, and shortly thereafter he met up with other Nigerians and they all advised him on how he could beat the system and he did. He started an argument with me one day over a phone call and before I knew it ..he was leaving. I cried and begged for him not to leave, but he just kept going. I had no idea where he was staying, he changed his phone number, didnt reply to my emails, etc. I went to homeland security 2 weeks later and reported him gone and told them i suspected fraud. After all this...I found out he said I thru him out of the house, treated him bad, etc. He was granted ALL that he wished for and my name was dragged thru the mud just to save himself. If anyone at the USCIS or any of these places had a brain, they wud reason that why would someone go thru ALLLLL I had to go thru to have him come here, just to throw him out? I mean get real. I was the best wife anyone could be to someone, but they dont even contact you to get your side of the story. They protected him as if he was some victim !!! So please dont waste your time and energy trying to fight anything or get him deported or anything. LET HIM GO. Just move on with your life and put all this behind you. You've spent a LONGGG time going thru the process of having him be there with you...dont waste anymore of your life now trying to undo the process....bcuz in the end, it wont work anyways!! The man I am with now, said something to me, that I will now say to you: This guy you were with and all he did to you...

"one day he will surely be paid with the same coin that he spent".

[Impossible 30]

I'm sorry to say, but all this talk of revoke this, contact this, report this...blah blah blah...is all pretty much useless and he will stay in the states and be granted all he wishes to be granted. There are a million ways he will make the system work in his favor. My ex-husband did this to me. We were together, he came to the states, and shortly thereafter he met up with other Nigerians and they all advised him on how he could beat the system and he did. He started an argument with me one day over a phone call and before I knew it ..he was leaving. I cried and begged for him not to leave, but he just kept going. I had no idea where he was staying, he changed his phone number, didnt reply to my emails, etc. I went to homeland security 2 weeks later and reported him gone and told them i suspected fraud. After all this...I found out he said I thru him out of the house, treated him bad, etc. He was granted ALL that he wished for and my name was dragged thru the mud just to save himself. If anyone at the USCIS or any of these places had a brain, they wud reason that why would someone go thru ALLLLL I had to go thru to have him come here, just to throw him out? I mean get real. I was the best wife anyone could be to someone, but they dont even contact you to get your side of the story. They protected him as if he was some victim !!! So please dont waste your time and energy trying to fight anything or get him deported or anything. LET HIM GO. Just move on with your life and put all this behind you. You've spent a LONGGG time going thru the process of having him be there with you...dont waste anymore of your life now trying to undo the process....bcuz in the end, it wont work anyways!! The man I am with now, said something to me, that I will now say to you: This guy you were with and all he did to you..."one day he will surely be paid with the same coin that he spent".

So bottom line is, you are telling me that this man who clearly scammed me will stay in the United States with a Greencard in hand! Things I didnt mention in my original post because it was more personal then I had wanted to get were the physical and mental abuse he put me through. The comment he made to me stating he would never go back home and would rather spend like life in a US jail because he would kill me if I F**ked him over. Of course screwing him over is whatever he felt was a wrong doing on my part. So I guess I have to resign myself to the idea of looking over my shoulder, inability to sleep because I am now jumping at every noise I hear in my house because it doesn't matter; this man will get everything he wanted from day 1.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Impossible you didn't mention these details before, first change all your door locks, second get a restraining order against him, file not divorce,but annulment of your marriage and report this guy TODAY to the cops, not as a missing person, but as an abuser!I just don't agree with MnnB because I saw several people that played the system that were deported.This story "let him go" oh man no way, no how.Sometimes in our life many things happen beyond our control, but other things we need to step up and make it happen.We don't need a scammer,an abuser walking with freedom in our streets.

[livindadream 156]

Impossible you didn't mention these details before, first change all your door locks, second get a restraining order against him, file not divorce,but annulment of your marriage and report this guy TODAY to the cops, not as a missing person, but as an abuser!I just don't agree with MnnB because I saw several people that played the system that were deported.This story "let him go" oh man no way, no how.Sometimes in our life many things happen beyond our control, but other things we need to step up and make it happen.We don't need a scammer,an abuser walking with freedom in our streets.

From personal experience, the chances of him getting deported are slim to none. He's already calculated his entire plan and has moved forward in seeing it out. Anything you bring up now, is after-the-fact and will just seem like you are bitter that he left. I know you're hurt and devastated and mad as heck...but putting yourself thru anymore bullsh*t regarding this man is not worth it...especially because in the end, he will basically have more rights than you. Anyone who says otherwise, has not seen first hand what can happen. Withdraw the Affidavit, YES, but beyond that...spend your time and effort putting your life back together. Im sure he has damaged you financially as well as emotionally, so just for your own sake...start putting life back together. He will get his taste of karma in the end...believe me !!

[unlockingsky 94]

contact immigration enforcement and make a infopass to speak with a immigration officer. bring whatever evidence of his fraud intent.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

From personal experience, the chances of him getting deported are slim to none. He's already calculated his entire plan and has moved forward in seeing it out. Anything you bring up now, is after-the-fact and will just seem like you are bitter that he left. I know you're hurt and devastated and mad as heck...but putting yourself thru anymore bullsh*t regarding this man is not worth it...especially because in the end, he will basically have more rights than you. Anyone who says otherwise, has not seen first hand what can happen. Withdraw the Affidavit, YES, but beyond that...spend your time and effort putting your life back together. Im sure he has damaged you financially as well as emotionally, so just for your own sake...start putting life back together. He will get his taste of karma in the end...believe me !!

His problems will come later when he seeks to bring someone over here. I would just protect yourself financially and legally and just deal with things as they come.. its happened to a lot of women who have brought men over. You are not alone

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

The post office is not allowed to forward government mail. He's obviously used you and I'm sorry but at least you found out before he was able to get his greencard.

Withdraw your support IMMEDIATELY and cite fraud. I would also contact ICE immediately. It reads to me (the email) like he's trying to set you up for some sort of abuse (like withholding immigration benefits).

You need to protect yourself. His email proves he's moved out so change the locks on your house/apartment if possible. Remove him from any bank accounts and file for divorce based on fraud.

Good luck.

Be smart and deal with the past emotional things later. You got you answer from him and now u should heed the good advice above.

Good Luck

So bottom line is, you are telling me that this man who clearly scammed me will stay in the United States with a Greencard in hand! Things I didnt mention in my original post because it was more personal then I had wanted to get were the physical and mental abuse he put me through. The comment he made to me stating he would never go back home and would rather spend like life in a US jail because he would kill me if I F**ked him over. Of course screwing him over is whatever he felt was a wrong doing on my part. So I guess I have to resign myself to the idea of looking over my shoulder, inability to sleep because I am now jumping at every noise I hear in my house because it doesn't matter; this man will get everything he wanted from day 1.

This is all your emotions posting...get your head into it and get into action.

[Olomi_811 130]

NONE of these details mattered until after the fact and when you felt others needed to know them in order to side with you. People always want to see and know that the person whom they feel wronged them has been hurt just as badly. You don't get to make that call. You have your answers do what you need to do to protect yourself and MOVE ON. Holding bitterness and grudges only makes you deteriorate quicker and keep you stagnant. Grieve the loss, learn the lesson in this, and let go.

Edited June 7, 2012 by Olomi_811

[AmyWrites 593]

NONE of these details mattered until after the fact and when you felt others needed to know them in order to side with you. People always want to see and know that the person whom they feel wronged them has been hurt just as badly. You don't get to make that call. You have your answers do what you need to do to protect yourself and MOVE ON. Holding bitterness and grudges only makes you deteriorate quicker and keep you stagnant. Grieve the loss, learn the lesson in this, and let go.

Let it go? This guy's threatening her. God knows what he has planned. She needs to PROTECT HERSELF, and then and only then start thinking about letting this go.

[JohnR! 5,495]

1339065090[/url]' post='5427244']

So bottom line is, you are telling me that this man who clearly scammed me will stay in the United States with a Greencard in hand! Things I didnt mention in my original post because it was more personal then I had wanted to get were the physical and mental abuse he put me through. The comment he made to me stating he would never go back home and would rather spend like life in a US jail because he would kill me if I F**ked him over. Of course screwing him over is whatever he felt was a wrong doing on my part. So I guess I have to resign myself to the idea of looking over my shoulder, inability to sleep because I am now jumping at every noise I hear in my house because it doesn't matter; this man will get everything he wanted from day 1.

Impossible, whatever you do with you life is your business and I for one shun at the notion of 'advice' , so here is my suggestion. There are places and lawyers and institutions whose sole business is to deal with women in a situation similar to yours. You may think you are alone but you are not. There are women of all backgrounds who are on the same boat - sometimes worse - than yours.

Consider talking to the police and taking action to make sure he doesn't go unpunished should he try something stupid with you. Ask them about counseling services for women in your situation. These services are oftentimes free and they can and will help you through the worst.

You need not face this on your own, but the choice to act is ultimately yours. I wish you well.

[Olomi_811 130]

NONE of these details mattered until after the fact and when you felt others needed to know them in order to side with you. People always want to see and know that the person whom they feel wronged them has been hurt just as badly. You don't get to make that call. You have your answers do what you need to do to protect yourself and MOVE ON. Holding bitterness and grudges only makes you deteriorate quicker and keep you stagnant. Grieve the loss, learn the lesson in this, and let go.

Let it go? This guy's threatening her. God knows what he has planned. She needs to PROTECT HERSELF, and then and only then start thinking about letting this go.

hmm looks like that was said and you read what you wanted to read.

[AmyWrites 593]

hmm looks like that was said and you read what you wanted to read.

My apologies, you're right, I just think it's more important to get the practical stuff done and then focus on whether she holds bitterness or not.

[ghanalover 7]

So bottom line is, you are telling me that this man who clearly scammed me will stay in the United States with a Greencard in hand! Things I didnt mention in my original post because it was more personal then I had wanted to get were the physical and mental abuse he put me through. The comment he made to me stating he would never go back home and would rather spend like life in a US jail because he would kill me if I F**ked him over. Of course screwing him over is whatever he felt was a wrong doing on my part. So I guess I have to resign myself to the idea of looking over my shoulder, inability to sleep because I am now jumping at every noise I hear in my house because it doesn't matter; this man will get everything he wanted from day 1.

IF BY ALL OF THIS IF U START NOW WITH THE RESTRAINING ORDER AND GETTING THE POLICE INVOLVED SOON OR LATER HE WILL APPLY FOR A U.S. CITIZENSHIP AND EVERYTHING WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT HIM. IF I WAS U I WOULD KEEP EMAILING HIM AND KEEP HIM MAKING HIS THREATS AND TURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IN TO THE POLICE AND IMMIGRATION THERES NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD LET SOMEONE GO FREE WITHOUT A FIGHT. IS THERE CONDITIONS ON THE GREEN CARD I THOUGHT IF MARRIED TWO YRS OR LESS THERES CONDITIONS ON IT. I SAY U FOUGHT TO BRING HIM HERE FIGHT TO GET HIS *** OUT OF HERE AND DO IT FAST IM SURE HIS FRIENDS HAVE SOME FEMALE FRIENDS WILLING TO MARRY FOR MONEY IT MAKES ME PISSED WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS HAPPEN...IF MY HUSBAND TRIED ANYTHING LIKE THIS HE WOULD GET A FREE TICKET TO STAY ON A ABUSE WAIVER CAUSE I WOULD PUT ALL MIGHT INTO WHOOPING HIS ***

[Sandra G. 5,048]

It's not about vengeance or about seeking validation for it, is about justice, that's all it is!. Why would you allow people to wreck your home, play with your emotions, scam you,treat you and hurt you?. I truly believe we have to respond to any violation or abuse and not let people rob your peace and wrap your heart. Vengeance does not call for punishment. We have a system to protect us,many people are saying "oh Immigration won't do anything against him blah blah blah", well they are wrong! I go to the Immigration Court almost every day of the week for the past 10 years and I saw thousands of people being deported!. In 2011 the United states deported 396,906 people, 54.6% of them were criminal offenders, but 46% of the deportees were people out of status, illegal, fake marriage, people caught at the border etc, they are not sleeping, they work hard!

I am an attorney and I own a non profit organization who helps victim of domestic violence as well and our message is SPEAK OUT!!! To say let go, move on, forgive him/ forget him is not constructive. We build a strong society with moral values when we demand Justice! She said she was psychological and physical abused by her husband then she must not let him get away with freedom.We need to teach our kids to demand justice and respect because without justice a society would fall apart.

Report a fraudulent marriage to the ICE, call at (866) 347-2423.

"The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice".

(Martin Luther King, Jr).

Edited June 7, 2012 by sandranj