missing husband

[Impossible 30]

First of all I want to thank everyone who responded to my other post and offered advice. I also wanted to give a little background on my history with my husband since one of the comments talked about how long we should know someone before we marry them and that person also wondered how someone could get scammed. I have known my husband over 2 years and I visited him in his country 3 times. I met all his immediate family as well as many of his friends.

I will tell you what our argument was over that made him leave, as someone says it might have been a provoked argument. It was about laundry! I had just got done working 76 hours in 5 days and since I had a day off I was then cleaning the house, grocery shopping etc. My husband did bring a basket of laundry upstairs and I assumed he was folding the clothes while I was cleaning the kitchen. When I went into the bedroom I found him on skype talking to friends or family I am not sure. My laundry was left in the basket and all his clothes were removed. I admit I was not happy that he left them sitting there and when he finally got off skype he asked me what was wrong. I said could you not fold the clothes while I am cleaning. He told me they were my clothes and there was no way in the world he would fold my clothes. I also admit I was so freaking angry after working so hard all week and then had been up for hours while he slept then woke to get on skype. Of course the argument continued and I said then dont use my car for pleasure drives if you can't help me out around the house. This comment also stems from the fact he has been here a year and has never once put gas in my car that he drives daily here and there. I asked him to put $5 in the gas tank one day and he threw a mini hissy fit. When we continued to argue he started calling me a B**ch, and then laughing and saying things in his native language and continued laughing saying it was fun to say stuff about me and I could not understand. Every time I tried to explain that this was not a fight about laundry but was about being partners and helping he other he would just continue to talk in his language...anyway the fight continued and he left...

OK so now to the update...He emailed me today a well thought out email and stated that "greencard" he was waiting for was something he paid for by himself since I refused to help him. He then went on to say it was not my responsibility and he had to come up with the money himself as well as pay for "all my other stuff" this is a huge lie. He then went on to tell me to leave him alone and live my life and he will do what he wants when he wants and he has lots of surprises..add the smiley face. I was unsure by his message what he meant by saying he paid for it unless he was trying to make it look as though I didnt pay for his AOS OR does he think since it is paid for he will automatically get it. He might think this because he has his SS card, work auth, and AED.

The last part of the update is..I confirmed with the post office that he did in fact change his address Monday. For obvious legal reasons I could not find out what address he is using now. Although I am hurt and sad I am now very angry because now it is clear he used me!

[Paula&Anthony 3]

Follow Darnell's advice from the other topic: Withdraw the I-864 right now, girl..

What he did to you isn't fair, so protect yourself!

"

Withdrawing the I-864 is straightforward. Prepare 3 letters - one to USCIS national office, one to USCIS Local Office, One to ICE Section Chief at the local office.You could word the letter as such: I am withdrawing the I-864, Affadavit of Support, filed in conjunction with an Adjustment of Status Case, (NOA-1 receipt #), A# (# from his K-1 visa stamp), as of this date. Then in the header, in the subject line, make sure you list all of his biodata. Make original signature on each letter. Can mail today. If you are in a time crunch, can get to the local office with letter in hand, give to the security guard, include another page for 'personal delivery receipt' and ask him to give it to the shift supervisor inside , and the shift supervisor to sign the delivery receipt and return it to you. Expect to wait outside 30 minutes to an hour, or if the guard is told to let you inside, you can go inside and hand this off to a USCIS shift supervisor. "

Edited June 17, 2012 by Kathryn41
to remove text data code

[MnnnB 4]

I feel Ssoooo sorry for you. I wish you all the best. God is there to Judge him, I'm sure he wont get away with this no matter how long it takes.

[Tinchen_ 21]

girlfriend. change ur locks, if u have a joint account-change it so he cant get to your money. write a letter to uscis and pull ur support, and call uscis to check in on that.idk if you can make a infopass appointment at a local office for that as well.

do you know if he changed his address at uscis as well, so that his green card get sent to the new addy?? if so you as his sponsor need to fill out a form as well, so that your addresses matches, if not it might raise a red flag.

im really sorry that it happens to you..try to move on and have a happy life...

[Ning 619]

First of all I want to thank everyone who responded to my other post and offered advice. I also wanted to give a little background on my history with my husband since one of the comments talked about how long we should know someone before we marry them and that person also wondered how someone could get scammed. I have known my husband over 2 years and I visited him in his country 3 times. I met all his immediate family as well as many of his friends.

I will tell you what our argument was over that made him leave, as someone says it might have been a provoked argument. It was about laundry! I had just got done working 76 hours in 5 days and since I had a day off I was then cleaning the house, grocery shopping etc. My husband did bring a basket of laundry upstairs and I assumed he was folding the clothes while I was cleaning the kitchen. When I went into the bedroom I found him on skype talking to friends or family I am not sure. My laundry was left in the basket and all his clothes were removed. I admit I was not happy that he left them sitting there and when he finally got off skype he asked me what was wrong. I said could you not fold the clothes while I am cleaning. He told me they were my clothes and there was no way in the world he would fold my clothes. I also admit I was so freaking angry after working so hard all week and then had been up for hours while he slept then woke to get on skype. Of course the argument continued and I said then dont use my car for pleasure drives if you can't help me out around the house. This comment also stems from the fact he has been here a year and has never once put gas in my car that he drives daily here and there. I asked him to put $5 in the gas tank one day and he threw a mini hissy fit. When we continued to argue he started calling me a B**ch, and then laughing and saying things in his native language and continued laughing saying it was fun to say stuff about me and I could not understand. Every time I tried to explain that this was not a fight about laundry but was about being partners and helping he other he would just continue to talk in his language...anyway the fight continued and he left...

OK so now to the update...He emailed me today a well thought out email and stated that "greencard" he was waiting for was something he paid for by himself since I refused to help him. He then went on to say it was not my responsibility and he had to come up with the money himself as well as pay for "all my other stuff" this is a huge lie. He then went on to tell me to leave him alone and live my life and he will do what he wants when he wants and he has lots of surprises..add the smiley face. I was unsure by his message what he meant by saying he paid for it unless he was trying to make it look as though I didnt pay for his AOS OR does he think since it is paid for he will automatically get it. He might think this because he has his SS card, work auth, and AED.

The last part of the update is..I confirmed with the post office that he did in fact change his address Monday. For obvious legal reasons I could not find out what address he is using now. Although I am hurt and sad I am now very angry because now it is clear he used me!

I hope you spent this much time on something productive that will help you today. You have a short time to do what Darnell suggested. Missing that window will bring a lot of pain into your life. You can finish the dirty laundry later. Take out the trash first, then close the door behind you so another can open.

Edited June 7, 2012 by Ning

[patient2010 93]

sorry to hear this

[9jalove101 0]

file for divorce. I did. now my ex-husband is for deportation. due to his status. we have been married for 3 years and within that time frame i have seen the evidence of being used. From phone calls and chats to e-mails. he even had a facebook profile and refuse to add me as his friend eventhough we're married. Now that really broke my heart. so when christmas came I served him papers. As an african-american women, i refuse to tolerate anyone to use ME. Marriage is a covenant NOT for Greed Card.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

The post office is not allowed to forward government mail. He's obviously used you and I'm sorry but at least you found out before he was able to get his greencard.

Withdraw your support IMMEDIATELY and cite fraud. I would also contact ICE immediately. It reads to me (the email) like he's trying to set you up for some sort of abuse (like withholding immigration benefits).

You need to protect yourself. His email proves he's moved out so change the locks on your house/apartment if possible. Remove him from any bank accounts and file for divorce based on fraud.

Good luck.

[tazzie 6]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE submit the I-864 form and walk forward with your head held high! There is a saying "what goes round comes round"

I am sorry to hear your story good luck

[Inky 1,110]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE submit the I-864 form and walk forward with your head held high! There is a saying "what goes round comes round"

I am sorry to hear your story good luck

submit it? i think you mean revoke it....

[DandT14 272]

Maybe I'm just not seeing it, but I don't see how it's so clear to all of you that this guy used her. He might be a jerk, that doesn't mean he set out from the beginning to use someone for a greencard. The description of the argument made it sound like he was mad...you have to care to get angry.

I wouldn't want to be on the hook to support him either, he doesn't sound like a real winner. But fraud? Maybe he's just an ####.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

First of all I want to thank everyone who responded to my other post and offered advice. I also wanted to give a little background on my history with my husband since one of the comments talked about how long we should know someone before we marry them and that person also wondered how someone could get scammed. I have known my husband over 2 years and I visited him in his country 3 times. I met all his immediate family as well as many of his friends.

I will tell you what our argument was over that made him leave, as someone says it might have been a provoked argument. It was about laundry! I had just got done working 76 hours in 5 days and since I had a day off I was then cleaning the house, grocery shopping etc. My husband did bring a basket of laundry upstairs and I assumed he was folding the clothes while I was cleaning the kitchen. When I went into the bedroom I found him on skype talking to friends or family I am not sure. My laundry was left in the basket and all his clothes were removed. I admit I was not happy that he left them sitting there and when he finally got off skype he asked me what was wrong. I said could you not fold the clothes while I am cleaning. He told me they were my clothes and there was no way in the world he would fold my clothes. I also admit I was so freaking angry after working so hard all week and then had been up for hours while he slept then woke to get on skype. Of course the argument continued and I said then dont use my car for pleasure drives if you can't help me out around the house. This comment also stems from the fact he has been here a year and has never once put gas in my car that he drives daily here and there. I asked him to put $5 in the gas tank one day and he threw a mini hissy fit. When we continued to argue he started calling me a B**ch, and then laughing and saying things in his native language and continued laughing saying it was fun to say stuff about me and I could not understand. Every time I tried to explain that this was not a fight about laundry but was about being partners and helping he other he would just continue to talk in his language...anyway the fight continued and he left...

OK so now to the update...He emailed me today a well thought out email and stated that "greencard" he was waiting for was something he paid for by himself since I refused to help him. He then went on to say it was not my responsibility and he had to come up with the money himself as well as pay for "all my other stuff" this is a huge lie. He then went on to tell me to leave him alone and live my life and he will do what he wants when he wants and he has lots of surprises..add the smiley face. I was unsure by his message what he meant by saying he paid for it unless he was trying to make it look as though I didnt pay for his AOS OR does he think since it is paid for he will automatically get it. He might think this because he has his SS card, work auth, and AED.

The last part of the update is..I confirmed with the post office that he did in fact change his address Monday. For obvious legal reasons I could not find out what address he is using now. Although I am hurt and sad I am now very angry because now it is clear he used me!

I hope, nay, pray, that you know exactly what you need to do now.

Clearly you two had relationship issues. To me it seems that you never set boundaries, expectations, acceptables and unacceptables.

[aaydrian 479]

PULL I-864 NOW! And we mean NOW.

It may be a good idea to only speak with your husband through emails and texts and limit how often you guys meet face to face IN PUBLIC/WITH AN AUDIENCE (less you're later accused of abuse/he threatens or abuses you)

Someone answer this. If and or when she gets the envelope containing the greencard, what should she do with with? And what are the penalties if she opens mail (addressed to her husband) pertaining to his immigrant status?

[Inky 1,110]

PULL I-864 NOW! And we mean NOW.

It may be a good idea to only speak with your husband through emails and texts and limit how often you guys meet face to face IN PUBLIC/WITH AN AUDIENCE (less you're later accused of abuse/he threatens or abuses you)

Someone answer this. If and or when she gets the envelope containing the greencard, what should she do with with? And what are the penalties if she opens mail (addressed to her husband) pertaining to his immigrant status?

Mail it back to USCIS with a notice stating " no longer resides at this address, has disappeared " also include that she wishes to revoke her support of the GC and of his status in the USA.

[livindadream 156]

I'm sorry to say, but all this talk of revoke this, contact this, report this...blah blah blah...is all pretty much useless and he will stay in the states and be granted all he wishes to be granted. There are a million ways he will make the system work in his favor. My ex-husband did this to me. We were together, he came to the states, and shortly thereafter he met up with other Nigerians and they all advised him on how he could beat the system and he did. He started an argument with me one day over a phone call and before I knew it ..he was leaving. I cried and begged for him not to leave, but he just kept going. I had no idea where he was staying, he changed his phone number, didnt reply to my emails, etc. I went to homeland security 2 weeks later and reported him gone and told them i suspected fraud. After all this...I found out he said I thru him out of the house, treated him bad, etc. He was granted ALL that he wished for and my name was dragged thru the mud just to save himself. If anyone at the USCIS or any of these places had a brain, they wud reason that why would someone go thru ALLLLL I had to go thru to have him come here, just to throw him out? I mean get real. I was the best wife anyone could be to someone, but they dont even contact you to get your side of the story. They protected him as if he was some victim !!! So please dont waste your time and energy trying to fight anything or get him deported or anything. LET HIM GO. Just move on with your life and put all this behind you. You've spent a LONGGG time going thru the process of having him be there with you...dont waste anymore of your life now trying to undo the process....bcuz in the end, it wont work anyways!! The man I am with now, said something to me, that I will now say to you: This guy you were with and all he did to you..."one day he will surely be paid with the same coin that he spent".