Really frustrated

[VetsWife328 7]

OK so I'm back in Germany after having spent 28 days with my wonderful man in WA.

I got there on Sep.15th at 1am in the morning (after my son who has ADHD decided o run off in WA DC on the way to Seattle and we missed our connecting flight to SEATAC so we got there at 1am instead of 8pm.....).Exhausted but happy to finally see my man after damn near 7 months.The man got down on his knee ,pulled out an engagment ring and asked me in front of everybody at the Baggage Claim are to marry him..........!!!!!!!!

(Yes we knew before that that we'd get married but he wanted to make it "offical" and show me that he's made up his mind once and for all times,knowing that we had a lot to deal with in the passed 7 months...)

So we spent 4 great weeks togeher never being apart more than 2 1/2 hours the whole entire time of them 4 weeks.

And now I'm alone again with my son,well not really since I took our 2 year old lab over here to Germany since Jim is going down to CA on November 1st to go to Schneider Nationals Training School to become a Truck Driver.

While I was in WA w called his (what we believed) ex wife to ask her to send us the Divorce Decree,well there was none because she has for the 2nd time aropund failed to put the signed and notorized papers into the courts in VA.

So we ended up looking up Divorce Laws in WA and on Oct 12th,the day I left,my man has filed for the divorce in WA.She will be served with the papers next week and from then on it wll take 90 days and the divorce is final,so about the third week of January.

I will be flying to WA again in January,as soon as we know when the Court Date is I will book my flight and be there for his Divorce Hearing and we will put our I 129 f in the very next day.

We thought I could be back with the K1 in March,now we have to wait until the end f January to even file the Petition for me and my son...........

That will probably bring us to WA by June or July.

And I'm about to go insane here.......

My poor man does everything he can do in as much of a hurry as possible ,yet I'm so frustrated and desperate.

I keep wondering why we have to constantly have to face so many dfficulties....First he loses his job due t the company not having enough work,then due to the loss of the job our brandnew car was repossesed,the furniture we bought (furniture rental) was picked up again and he lost our apartment in OR.Then he (which turned out to be a great thing) he moved to WA to our frineds,and now we had to find out that his soon t be ex was palying him for a fool again and we have to wait even longer than we thought..........

I know a lot of ppl here have to face difficult situations but to me it seems like the wait takes forever for us.

He's just as upset as I am,but he does whatever it takes to get things done rght now and now we have to sit there and wait for them 90 days to get by until we can take care of OUR paperwork.......

It's driving me insane.

sorry just had to vent.....

Nat

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I'm sorry that you are having so many difficulties, but... do you think it's wise to want to proceed with getting married with so many uncertainties? I think it's one thing for a man to be down on his luck, but not everything that you mentioned was merely bad luck.

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Good luck..... I just finished my Divorce Aug 31st...

and I had to play her game abit but finally it came through...

Hope it goes smooth......

OK so I'm back in Germany after having spent 28 days with my wonderful man in WA.

I got there on Sep.15th at 1am in the morning (after my son who has ADHD decided o run off in WA DC on the way to Seattle and we missed our connecting flight to SEATAC so we got there at 1am instead of 8pm.....).Exhausted but happy to finally see my man after damn near 7 months.The man got down on his knee ,pulled out an engagment ring and asked me in front of everybody at the Baggage Claim are to marry him..........!!!!!!!!

(Yes we knew before that that we'd get married but he wanted to make it "offical" and show me that he's made up his mind once and for all times,knowing that we had a lot to deal with in the passed 7 months...)

So we spent 4 great weeks togeher never being apart more than 2 1/2 hours the whole entire time of them 4 weeks.

And now I'm alone again with my son,well not really since I took our 2 year old lab over here to Germany since Jim is going down to CA on November 1st to go to Schneider Nationals Training School to become a Truck Driver.

While I was in WA w called his (what we believed) ex wife to ask her to send us the Divorce Decree,well there was none because she has for the 2nd time aropund failed to put the signed and notorized papers into the courts in VA.

So we ended up looking up Divorce Laws in WA and on Oct 12th,the day I left,my man has filed for the divorce in WA.She will be served with the papers next week and from then on it wll take 90 days and the divorce is final,so about the third week of January.

I will be flying to WA again in January,as soon as we know when the Court Date is I will book my flight and be there for his Divorce Hearing and we will put our I 129 f in the very next day.

We thought I could be back with the K1 in March,now we have to wait until the end f January to even file the Petition for me and my son...........

That will probably bring us to WA by June or July.

And I'm about to go insane here.......

My poor man does everything he can do in as much of a hurry as possible ,yet I'm so frustrated and desperate.

I keep wondering why we have to constantly have to face so many dfficulties....First he loses his job due t the company not having enough work,then due to the loss of the job our brandnew car was repossesed,the furniture we bought (furniture rental) was picked up again and he lost our apartment in OR.Then he (which turned out to be a great thing) he moved to WA to our frineds,and now we had to find out that his soon t be ex was palying him for a fool again and we have to wait even longer than we thought..........

I know a lot of ppl here have to face difficult situations but to me it seems like the wait takes forever for us.

He's just as upset as I am,but he does whatever it takes to get things done rght now and now we have to sit there and wait for them 90 days to get by until we can take care of OUR paperwork.......

It's driving me insane.

sorry just had to vent.....

Nat

[VetsWife328 7]

NONE of all the stuff that has happeed was my mans fault!!!!! His ex and him have been seperaed since Dec 2001 and he simply never saw a reason to get a divorce since he was stationed in Germany while she was in the US.Then in August of 2004 he got Divorce Papers from her the first time,he signed them and had them notorized and sent back to her,she never finished the divorce.......Same in May of this year....she never put the finished papres in so there was no divorce.

Now we did it and THERE WILL BE a divorce this time around.

About the loss of his job,

the Company he worked for lost a huge contract and since he was the last one hired he was the first one that was laid off.

Now in the Military you don't get a license for being a Helicopter Mechanic but you DO on the Civilian side so it was hard for him to get a new job and he fell into depression...which he's more than over now.

We're VERY happy with each other and except for having to play the waiting game we don't have any problems.he will start his new job soon and so God will I will be home with him in about 8-9 months.

I don't see why I should not marry him,he's the love of my life and he makes me and my son happy.He's the Daddy my little boy never had and he takes me and my son the way we are.

There's no way I would ever reconsider getting married to him.

Nat

[jamrok 0]

NONE of all the stuff that has happeed was my mans fault!!!!! His ex and him have been seperaed since Dec 2001 and he simply never saw a reason to get a divorce since he was stationed in Germany while she was in the US.Then in August of 2004 he got Divorce Papers from her the first time,he signed them and had them notorized and sent back to her,she never finished the divorce.......Same in May of this year....she never put the finished papres in so there was no divorce.

Now we did it and THERE WILL BE a divorce this time around.

About the loss of his job,

the Company he worked for lost a huge contract and since he was the last one hired he was the first one that was laid off.

Now in the Military you don't get a license for being a Helicopter Mechanic but you DO on the Civilian side so it was hard for him to get a new job and he fell into depression...which he's more than over now.

We're VERY happy with each other and except for having to play the waiting game we don't have any problems.he will start his new job soon and so God will I will be home with him in about 8-9 months.

I don't see why I should not marry him,he's the love of my life and he makes me and my son happy.He's the Daddy my little boy never had and he takes me and my son the way we are.

There's no way I would ever reconsider getting married to him.

Nat

So nice to see you stand by your man like that even through the rough times. God's blessings be

with you .

[JenT 0]

He saw no reason to get divorced? Sorry... that doesn't make sense. If the marriage is over, why not file and get closure?

[Reba 2]

I've known a few people like that, and also when they decide to finally do the paperwork, one half of the couple ends up "forgetting" to do something, just to drag it out and cause the other pain. Happens probably more often than anyone will know.

Sounds like its well on the way to being finalized now tho.

Yep, the waiting is painful, but you'll get thru it.

[KaiserD 12]

He saw no reason to get divorced? Sorry... that doesn't make sense. If the marriage is over, why not file and get closure?

Guess he just didn't have the sense of urgency. Not that I would know though, my mum is keeping my dad hanging (and deservedly so) for his divorce

[rebeccajo 14]

He saw no reason to get divorced? Sorry... that doesn't make sense. If the marriage is over, why not file and get closure?

I've seen many people be in 'no hurry' because they were either hoping for a reconciliation, or had no sense of urgency to be 'legally available', or perhaps even felt the 'legalities' of marriage would keep them 'out' of another relationship. While it's not what many people would do, I don't think it's all that weird. Might even be a smart thing for a military man to do until his life settles out.

[VetsWife328 7]

Thank you Jamrok!!!!

James and I have been through a lot of rouh times together already and we believe and know that it has only made us stronger.

He even told me that the doubts he had about a new marriage nd all that comes with it were destroyed BECAUSE I didn't let him down after he's lost his job in Oregon and everything we had there.

It's so easy to love someone when everything goes smooth and fine,but when the road gets rocky ,THAT'S when you can see whether the person you're with truly loves you.

There's nothing in this wrld that would make me leave my man just because there's some rocks,even though they seemed to be huge at times,on our road.

I love him with all my heart and we feel that we need the other to be complete.

We fought very hard for our relationship and we never gave up.And that in my eyes is what it's all about.To never give up on the person you love,never let them down when they need you.To be there in good and bad.That's what we go by and if more ppl would be willing to make it through the bad times as well as the good then there would nt be so many divorces going on out there.

Nat

[Welshcookie 17]

I understand your frustration.....just remember that you will get there doesn't matter how obstinate she being this divorce will happen and you can both get on with your lives.

I used to feel bitter because she changed the direction our lives took, we had to change our plans, but now I look upon it that it gave us time to know that this relationship was 'right', nobody can ever accuse us of rushing into things

Hope the months pass quickly for you both....