Advice needed VJ Family Plzz!!

[MrsJohnson 0]

gd morning...im so upset this morning. ive never shared my personal life on here but i just need some advice. Ive been with my husband over 2 years and i filied for him back in april. Im starting to regret ever being with him. There is sooo much heart ache i go thru with him. ever since we been together he's been cheating on me. he doesnt help me out any type of way. He doesnt call me how he is suppose to. i know he doesnt love me but i do believe he does care about me. Im going to be honest he is very young (21) and age shouldnt matter but i feel like im with a little kid. He is very selfish and stubborn. To be honest the only reason why i feel to stay with him is because i feel like invested so much into this boy. ive spent thousands and thousands of dollars on his sorry ####.

Im just sick of him and want to drop everything and stay far the hell away from him before he hurts me even more. Any advice!

[Clariz 2]

gd morning...im so upset this morning. ive never shared my personal life on here but i just need some advice. Ive been with my husband over 2 years and i filied for him back in april. Im starting to regret ever being with him. There is sooo much heart ache i go thru with him. ever since we been together he's been cheating on me. he doesnt help me out any type of way. He doesnt call me how he is suppose to. i know he doesnt love me but i do believe he does care about me. Im going to be honest he is very young (21) and age shouldnt matter but i feel like im with a little kid. He is very selfish and stubborn. To be honest the only reason why i feel to stay with him is because i feel like invested so much into this boy. ive spent thousands and thousands of dollars on his sorry ####.

Im just sick of him and want to drop everything and stay far the hell away from him before he hurts me even more. Any advice!

First of all, you are not living together so how do you know he is cheating on you? At that age of 21, probably he wants to test you- if you really love him you need to have your petition for him on a fast track so he is maybe teasing you...investing for him... gush for what.. unless maybe you need a baby from a handsome boy maybe... but if you are old i think you need a caregiver or a trusted relative to live with... sorry for my suggestions if it don't fit you..

[Jamaicancricket 38]

So sorry you're going through this. Is there anyway you can go and spend more time with him and see if there is anything to repair? Or are you just completely done? If completely done, I'm sure there there are other people on here that can inform you of the next steps. Hang in there!

[Rogelyn 0]

Sorry to read your story. He is really young for a marriage commitment. But to some whose on the same situation as you, it works for them. I believe if love and respect is not in a relationship, it will not really work. If you are the only one who is making the effort to save your marriage, I guess this will not work. It is always takes two to any relationship especially on marriage. Give and take is the key to have a successful marriage. Talk to him and settle this issue once and for all. You can't get through with this until you both willing to settle. I guess its time to give love and respect to yourself. Hope this help and enlighten you. Good Luck!

[JohnR! 5,495]

1338987790[/url]' post='5423933']

i know he doesnt love me but i do believe he does care about me. !

IMHO if that's enough for you and if that makes you happy then it's your call. If you want more out of this relationship consider there might be someone else out there who is being denied that opportunity.

[aws&ndd 103]

You need to just let him go. If he's cheating on you, then he clearly doesn't love you or respect you. Sorry you invested so much time and money, but let him go so you don't lose any more.

[Caryh 5,206]

He is very selfish and stubborn. boy. sorry ####. doesn't love you. regret ever being with him. he doesnt help me out any type of way.

21 years old is pretty young for a man or a woman to decide who they want to be with.

I think you already know your answer to this, if the words you're using above is truly how you feel about being with him.

Personally I invested my heart with my wife. I spent a lot of money so we could be together, but my only investment was my heart. I've spent even more money since she got her, getting her adjusted and set up living in America, but still my only investment has been my heart. The reason I bring that up is you're considering what it has cost you in dollars so far, and yes its not cheap, but if you're not feeling your heart is your biggest loss you've got all too little invested in your marriage. Maybe your heart is in this, but you just can't express that while you feel his heart isn't there. Do you really want to spend you life with someone who's heart is not in it?

[MrsJohnson 0]

thanks for all the replies. first of all i wanted to direct this to the first person who commented on this post. I am not an old lady who wears depends and swings around a cane. My husband is 22 and im 24!!! Okay i want to say i do love him if i didnt i would of never married him. this is the first time either one of us has been married. I have one child he has none. He does have some good things about him that i love but the bad out weighs the good. The reason how i know he's cheating on me even tho we live in seperate countries is because im my own private investigator. Im very good at what i do...ive cracked codes on his cell phone read messages, seen photos of girls, ive even called one of the girls before, on top of that ive flew to JA and popped up on his a**! So yea i know he's cheating. Ill just tell u this...the way he is with his phone u would think his phone was his life support machine. I dont want to sit here and bash him and make him seem like the devil but he's no saint! My heart is invested in him wayy more than my money. i could care less about the money because money can be earned but once ur heart is broken u cant pay money to repair it!

[SweetieOne 41]

Sorry to hear stories like this :( !! I have had two experiences with Jamaican men and to be honest with you, they are very hard to read not sometimes, 99% of the time!! First of all, you are not physically there and you have no firm details of him cheating or do you? I always call it “One Jamaican life to live”. Lots of people like to gossip and create issues down in Jamaica, even when you don’t really know them.

I have know my husband for 9 years, we met here in the state and we were roommates when he was still with his ex wife. I have a pretty strong knowledge of who he was then and who he is now! I still have trust issues, not just because of him either. At the end of the night, I do believe he loves me and that he wants this and something tells me he is ready to settle down. Sometimes, I know him so well that it scares me and I hear it in his voice. However, I have decided to trust within my heart and should hold on to what I have found. I want to believe in his love, even when it is hard. Being miles apart, waiting for months to be together is the biggest challenge in my life. Right now I have a big health issue going on and he is not here with me and I need him. I just told him last night that sometimes it seems easier to be angry rather than being sad! Hang in there and follow your mind, not just your heart. Understand, he cannot make you happy, only you can make you happy and in that you both should be happy together not looking for the other to make you happy. Good Luck and stay strong, don’t give up.

Sending you lots of light, peace & love,

Nattie

[aaydrian 479]

Okay i want to say i do love him if i didnt i would of never married him. this is the first time either one of us has been married. I have one child he has none. He does have some good things about him that i love but the bad out weighs the good. The reason how i know he's cheating on me even tho we live in seperate countries is because im my own private investigator. Im very good at what i do...ive cracked codes on his cell phone read messages, seen photos of girls, ive even called one of the girls before, on top of that ive flew to JA and popped up on his a**! So yea i know he's cheating. Ill just tell u this...the way he is with his phone u would think his phone was his life support machine. I dont want to sit here and bash him and make him seem like the devil but he's no saint! My heart is invested in him wayy more than my money. i could care less about the money because money can be earned but once ur heart is broken u cant pay money to repair it!

How did you meet?

[MrsJohnson 0]

thanks so much nattie I need that. Right now im angry and upset. i want to scream,laugh, cry all at the same damn time. I hate this feeling i have right now, ive never felt it before. I love him but it takes two...and ive been the only one loving in this marriage. U wud think us being 2 years apart we would be so happy but we are not. Im miserable. And yes, i do have evidence of him cheating on me. He's a ####### bag..and he's sloppy. He loves to flirt and screw girls occationally. And u know what Nattie, if he loves me then why the #### does no one at his job or his friends know he's married

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

The advice that I have is you have to look at the big picture, how do you see yourselves as a couple now, and when he gets here. Are you going to be happy? Will you have the life that you want?

[MrsJohnson 0]

we met through a friend of the family

[Therealworld 90]

Hi Mrs Johnson. I can relate to what you are saying. My husband is 24 and I am much older than him. However I would like to say I dont believe he is cheating on me because he is a dj with a popular sound system, and if there was girls they would should up at the parties. When I am there I am right by his side and he is introducing me to everyone and even giving me bigups over the mic. I sometimes have to look at it like this. When he leaves Jamaica he is leaving all those b@#$%s behind and coming directly to you. I know it can be frustrating especially when you love and have feelings for that person otherwise you would have never married him. Remember that old saying "Women mature alot quicker than men". As for the phone aside from all the information in which you have found, I have noticed that a large portion of Jamaicans cherrish their phones like crazy. I guess it is because a lot of them dont have much so when they do have something they are very fond of it. The distance hard. I have have found myself wanting company from another man (not sexually) to pass the time, but yet I have changed my mind because they might take it the wrong way. It is hard to tell you what to do because I do not know what is in your heart. It is a call you will have to make and be willing to live with. Please just tell your husband that if he does fool around to please wear protection out of respect for you and try not to make any babies. Talk to him some more and confirm if this marraige is something he wants. If so he really needs to prove it to you.

[MrsJohnson 0]

The advice that I have is you have to look at the big picture, how do you see yourselves as a couple now, and when he gets here. Are you going to be happy? Will you have the life that you want?

im not sure if i will be happy thats the thing...i honestly feel like this relationship is done and if he did get the chance to come here by me filing for him it wouldnt last. And the truth is if he had another way to come to america he would come here and be with me