Husband is missing

[Impossible 30]

Well without getting into a lot of details, my husband left the home after an argument. We had filed for AOS and about a month ago he received his Social Security Card, work authorization and Advanced parole, but is still waiting on his greencard, although I am sure it should be issued any day. Before he left he told me he didnt need me for anything and had all the paperwork he needed to "go see his life now". The fight was a stupid fight and I really thought things would calm down and we would talk things out, but as of right now I have no knowledge of where he is at all. In previous conversations or debates I should say he has made comments that he could go missing in the United States and I would never find him. Of course I am sitting here very hurt by everything, but unfortunately I feel like I need to protect myself. If he truly just "disappeared" the message is clear..

Any advice would be appreciated.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Well without getting into a lot of details, my husband left the home after an argument. We had filed for AOS and about a month ago he received his Social Security Card, work authorization and Advanced parole, but is still waiting on his greencard, although I am sure it should be issued any day. Before he left he told me he didnt need me for anything and had all the paperwork he needed to "go see his life now". The fight was a stupid fight and I really thought things would calm down and we would talk things out, but as of right now I have no knowledge of where he is at all. In previous conversations or debates I should say he has made comments that he could go missing in the United States and I would never find him. Of course I am sitting here very hurt by everything, but unfortunately I feel like I need to protect myself. If he truly just "disappeared" the message is clear..

Any advice would be appreciated.

(I always try to do background research on posts before I get into these things, your profile says you have 7 posts but I couldn't find any).

Advice? The devil is in the details.

How long has he been gone? Enough to file for a missing person with the PD?

Hopefully he'll saunter back in.

Any friends, family that you can call? Relatives back in Nigeria to check if he's made contact with them?

In regards to "he could go missing in the US and never find him", well he's being silly. You can find him but you can't make him come back to you. Due to internet explosion he could have made an extensive network of friends in the US before he even set foot in here - so he may know someone.

Anyways I'm sure you Guys will patch it up. Good luck.

Edited June 6, 2012 by Gowon

[Impossible 30]

(I always try to do background research on posts before I get into these things, your profile says you have 7 posts but I couldn't find any).

Advice? The devil is in the details.

How long has he been gone? Enough to file for a missing person with the PD?

Hopefully he'll saunter back in.

Any friends, family that you can call? Relatives back in Nigeria to check if he's made contact with them?

In regards to "he could go missing in the US and never find him", well he's being silly. You can find him but you can't make him come back to you. Due to internet explosion he could have made an extensive network of friends in the US before he even set foot in here - so he may know someone.

Anyways I'm sure you Guys will patch it up. Good luck.

Thank you for you reply and i also had a hard time finding my old posts as well. I was looking to see if anyone had responded to a previous post I had made. I dont want to make him come back to me if he wants to leave that is fine, but at this point I am looking at the idea that he does not have his greencard yet and I dont feel comfortable having my name tied to his if he is going to "disappear". I am not sure if what I am saying makes sense.

(I always try to do background research on posts before I get into these things, your profile says you have 7 posts but I couldn't find any).

Advice? The devil is in the details.

How long has he been gone? Enough to file for a missing person with the PD?

Hopefully he'll saunter back in.

Any friends, family that you can call? Relatives back in Nigeria to check if he's made contact with them?

In regards to "he could go missing in the US and never find him", well he's being silly. You can find him but you can't make him come back to you. Due to internet explosion he could have made an extensive network of friends in the US before he even set foot in here - so he may know someone.

Anyways I'm sure you Guys will patch it up. Good luck.

Thank you for you reply and i also had a hard time finding my old posts as well. I was looking to see if anyone had responded to a previous post I had made. I dont want to make him come back to me if he wants to leave that is fine, but at this point I am looking at the idea that he does not have his greencard yet and I dont feel comfortable having my name tied to his if he is going to "disappear". I am not sure if what I am saying makes sense.

[Darnell 8,478]

"go see his life now" - this is a common phrase from Nigerian immigrants coming in on a K-1 visa.

So, since he's gone,

and there's no green card yet - what do you want to do ?

you still have a window of time, from NOW till some future days,

to pull your affadavit of support, the I-864, with the USCIS.

If you do that, the green card will not be issued, he will have no further status in the USA .

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Thank you for you reply and i also had a hard time finding my old posts as well. I was looking to see if anyone had responded to a previous post I had made. I dont want to make him come back to me if he wants to leave that is fine, but at this point I am looking at the idea that he does not have his greencard yet and I dont feel comfortable having my name tied to his if he is going to "disappear". I am not sure if what I am saying makes sense.

What you're saying makes sense, at least to me.

Since you adjusted status already (please correct me if I am wrong then you would have submitted the I-864 so basically you are responsible for him until he becomes a citizen or works 40 quarters I think (please verify).

If you're certain that this is the end of the road (only you can decide that) then you might be best served to contact USCIS to inform them (not going to get into reporting fraud and all that since you didn't provide much needed details) but they should know how tis went down. By being responsible doesn't mean you're responsible for him if he commits a crime but only if he accepts financial aid services.

How sure are you that he's in the USA? Have you contacted relatives in Nigeria or friends here? Does he have a FaceBook account?

[Darnell 8,478]

it smells like the AOS packet was filed, but greencard not printed or delivered.

There is a small window of time to stop it, by withdrawing the I-864, affadavit of support. USCitizen never need to mention WHY to USCIS, it's enough simply to withdraw it.

Many people think to chase after fraud - when it's enough, simply enough, to withdraw the I-864 prior to greencard issuance.

Edited June 6, 2012 by Darnell

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

"go see his life now" - this is a common phrase from Nigerian immigrants coming in on a K-1 visa.

So, since he's gone,

and there's no green card yet - what do you want to do ?

you still have a window of time, from NOW till some future days,

to pull your affadavit of support, the I-864, with the USCIS.

If you do that, the green card will not be issued, he will have no further status in the USA .

Just out of curiosity, is this based on posts on this forum? If so I couldn't find any such comment. Do you have any link for me?

PS: thanks for the lesson on withdrawing the I-864, I never new you could take it back even after submitted.

Edited June 6, 2012 by Gowon

[rade2rising 205]

he probably need some time to relax and calm down

just let him be

[Impossible 30]

Just out of curiosity, is this based on posts on this forum? If so I couldn't find any such comment. Do you have any link for me?

PS: thanks for the lesson on withdrawing the I-864, I never new you could take it back even after submitted.

There has been many issues since he has been here, am I here to say this is a fraud case..well now that he thinks he is all set with his current documentation and then leaves and then has no contact, I have to think that it is a good possibility. With that being said I am not looking to pursue a fraud case since I am acting on emotions of being hurt. Although my mind tells me different I guess I am not that vindictive to do all that. Withdrawal of the affidavit of support seems like that most reasonable next step for me. Truly for all I know he could have hopped on a plane and went home, but I don't have that answer and don't think I will. The last contact I had with him was by email and he made it clear he did not want me to bother him and he was happy to be away from me. That is enough for me to know where I stand in his life.

[Impossible 30]

What you're saying makes sense, at least to me.

Since you adjusted status already (please correct me if I am wrong then you would have submitted the I-864 so basically you are responsible for him until he becomes a citizen or works 40 quarters I think (please verify).

If you're certain that this is the end of the road (only you can decide that) then you might be best served to contact USCIS to inform them (not going to get into reporting fraud and all that since you didn't provide much needed details) but they should know how tis went down. By being responsible doesn't mean you're responsible for him if he commits a crime but only if he accepts financial aid services.

How sure are you that he's in the USA? Have you contacted relatives in Nigeria or friends here? Does he have a FaceBook account?

Yes we are waiting for his greencard, which should be here any day. I have not contacted any of his friends or family since they do not speak English. One of his friends whom I met did contact me and she said she was sorry our relationship didn't work out and she was worried about him. She was very nice, but then the next day said that people there wish for me to be deleted so she was gone that day. I am not sure he is in the US.. I just know that he always told me he would never go back home because he now has no life there. Did he mean that statement? That I do not know, because he said alot of things that I just do not know to be true. He certainly could have jumped on a plane and went home, but I do know he does believe he could come back at anytime.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

If the card isn't in the mail pull the support. He may have put in a change of address to have the card sent to where he is , he probably had the exit planned and the fight may not have been spontanous. If the card is just issued you could try to call ice and tell them that as soon as his EAD arrived he left your house with no contact. Nigerian men are good at dropping relationships like dirty diapers. They can always go find another wife. Protect yourself by severing the ties especially the affidavit.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

I believe you are victim of a scammer..He made statement there is no life back in his home country it seems he used you to come to Usa and once here disappeared.There is one web site called scammers love you will be in shock with the numbers of women scammed and most of the guys are from Nigeria,Ghana and Ivory Coast. I don't know your case, but most of the women scammed saw their husbands or fiances once or twice before the visa was issued.I would call Uscis and ICE to report him for sure.He hurt you badly and now you have to take care of yourself and move on and be careful with him because he can try to go back with you when he realizes without his documents he will be in trouble.Praying for you.

[Darnell 8,478]

Just out of curiosity, is this based on posts on this forum? If so I couldn't find any such comment. Do you have any link for me?

PS: thanks for the lesson on withdrawing the I-864, I never new you could take it back even after submitted.

Sorry, I was in a rush when I posted that, I missed the proper qualifier -

For those Visa Scammers coming out of Nigeria, this is a common phrase.

However, it's a common phrase after receiving the 10 year card, not prior.

He's done something else. A different path. Most likely planning to stay underground for some time.

[Darnell 8,478]

There has been many issues since he has been here, am I here to say this is a fraud case..well now that he thinks he is all set with his current documentation and then leaves and then has no contact, I have to think that it is a good possibility. With that being said I am not looking to pursue a fraud case since I am acting on emotions of being hurt. Although my mind tells me different I guess I am not that vindictive to do all that. Withdrawal of the affidavit of support seems like that most reasonable next step for me. Truly for all I know he could have hopped on a plane and went home, but I don't have that answer and don't think I will. The last contact I had with him was by email and he made it clear he did not want me to bother him and he was happy to be away from me. That is enough for me to know where I stand in his life.

Withdrawing the I-864 is straightforward.

Prepare 3 letters - one to USCIS national office, one to USCIS Local Office, One to ICE Section Chief at the local office.

Getting the addresses is not difficult.

You could word the letter as such:

I am withdrawing the I-864, Affadavit of Support, filed in conjunction with an Adjustment of Status Case, (NOA-1 receipt #), A# (# from his K-1 visa stamp), as of this date.

Then in the header, in the subject line, make sure you list all of his biodata.

Make original signature on each letter. Can mail today. If you are in a time crunch, can get to the local office with letter in hand, give to the security guard, include another page for 'personal delivery receipt' and ask him to give it to the shift supervisor inside , and the shift supervisor to sign the delivery receipt and return it to you. Expect to wait outside 30 minutes to an hour, or if the guard is told to let you inside, you can go inside and hand this off to a USCIS shift supervisor.

Good Luck, whatever happens, however it turns out.

[unlockingsky 94]

if he has been missing for 24 hours. you should go to the police department and let them do the searching for you. he would eventually surface up and you will get informed on his situation. then i would decide his real intentions before withdrawing support. it is just too irrational to withdraw support on the dot.