People make up your mind before bringing someone here!!

[san diego 407]

I disagree with OP in some way and agree somewhat at the same time. yes, K1 is not to test drive. Yes, this is awful to bring someone and change your mind. HOWEVER! we do not know the reason for "changing mind". MOst of the time K1 visa holder complains that heir fiance changed his/her mind. This is very one-sided. Often times (notice!) when K1 visa holder complains about fiance(ee) changing mind they lso ask "can I marry someone else to stay?". Does it tell you something? I bet you, 90% of the time USC changes his/her mind BECAUSE they realize that K1 holder's intent is purely immigration purposes. There are exceptions, obviously. But I would say this is a rule. Stop blaming USC for being smart and recognizing obvious things early enough!

[teach_says 4]

Agreed. The answer is the reason there is a 90 day period for people to find out if the situation is correct for them when they are in the country & area where they will live. The immigrant may need time to adjust or may not be able to do so when they are in the real circumstance. The immigrant must make the most serious decision to leave their country, family ect behind for the unknown. Few people have a real sense of what life is like in America.

The other option is to simply marry into the unknown hoping love will be the total answer to happiness. The divorce rate in America was about 54 % last time I checked. Rushing to marry may simply create a difficult situation beyond that of returning to a home country.

I doubt anyone here is in a position to determin the actions of another person or see inside the make up of anothers relationship. We all have to decide our own fate.

I doubt any immigrant (myself being one) would take the decision to leave their home country lightly. I agree that some USC have been unfairly duped into petitioning the visa...BUT there have been a lot of USC who "change their minds". I have to disagree with you on the purpose of the 90 day period. That time is to make your arrangements for marriage, not to test the water and send the person back to their home country as though they are a defected toy. Rather than rush into proposing, the USC should get to know if it is right for them BEFORE putting in a petition and messing about the immigrant (who has left everything behind).

[unlockingsky 94]

some people don't appreciate their partner/ex-partner lifetime commitment.

i am just amaze how they waste time and money. maybe they are just filthy rich and ignorant.

[Nyte 1]

Would it not be unethical for a USC to NOT cancel the wedding (and subsequent AOS) if he or she determined that the marriage was not going to work out? Sure, people should always try to work out their differences before resorting to drastic measures, but what if it just isn't going to work out? It seems like the argument for some (not all!) is less "think before you petition" and more of "follow through if you petition no matter what."

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Would it not be unethical for a USC to NOT cancel the wedding (and subsequent AOS) if he or she determined that the marriage was not going to work out? Sure, people should always try to work out their differences before resorting to drastic measures, but what if it just isn't going to work out? It seems like the argument for some (not all!) is less "think before you petition" and more of "follow through if you petition no matter what."

I haven't seen anyone suggest that the marriage should take place no matter what. Relationships fail. The majority of them, anyway. People should never, ever get married unless they both want to and are committed to making it work. It's much better to figure out that it's not going to work in those first 90 days rather than AFTER the marriage, of course. I think most people are just saying, don't go through with this visa process unless you're 100% sure this is what you both want. It's not intended to come over to the US and see what happens, it's for people who have already made the decision. That being said, sometimes that decision isn't the right one, and by all means, they should NOT get married if that happens to be the case.

[Nyte 1]

I haven't seen anyone suggest that the marriage should take place no matter what. Relationships fail. The majority of them, anyway. People should never, ever get married unless they both want to and are committed to making it work. It's much better to figure out that it's not going to work in those first 90 days rather than AFTER the marriage, of course. I think most people are just saying, don't go through with this visa process unless you're 100% sure this is what you both want. It's not intended to come over to the US and see what happens, it's for people who have already made the decision. That being said, sometimes that decision isn't the right one, and by all means, they should NOT get married if that happens to be the case.

I agree. Life is sometimes sad. Be committed before you sign the documents, but if it doesn't work out, don't pursue the marriage (even if, unfortunately, that requires the beneficiary to return to his or her home).

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I agree. Life is sometimes sad. Be committed before you sign the documents, but if it doesn't work out, don't pursue the marriage (even if, unfortunately, that requires the beneficiary to return to his or her home).

People should always have a plan if this happens. As a beneficiary, I did. No matter how much I love my husband, or how much I want things to work, I had to be prepared for them not to. I needed a plan to go back home if things did not work out. It saddens me to hear of people who come to another country, assuming the best but not preparing for the worst. It's definitely not something to take lightly.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Not everybody can afford to leave their jobs for 90 days or 120 days, to see if they should go on with the plan or not.

I am sure it is more difficult for people who is bringing their kids who had to leave school.

But I am always in favor to trust my feelings, sometimes going back home is not the worst that can happen.

People can change or show how they really are when they are in their normal environment.

When I left home, my father gave me a round ticket and he told me "If he is not good to you come back, don't let him disrespect you, do not let him ever hit you, if he does, just come back, or call me and I will go for you; I will not ask questions and I will not let anybody else ask you questions"

I think he may have known I would feel ashamed if I failed and probabily would not want to go back eeven if things were not good.

( I miss my father so much this week is 4 years without him )

If neither the petitioner nor the beneficiary can afford to take the steps before filing the petition to ensure they're a) serious about the commitment and b) ready for a major life change that not only includes moving to a new country, but the very act of getting married and living with someone, then they should not file the petition until they can afford to make the time.

This is why my fiancé visited me twice in the US -- to make sure he likes where he'll be living (taking time to explore the city, etc.) and more importantly, that he'll like living with me and my stupid cat. We were certain after his first visit, but we still waited to file until his second visit here to make 100% certain that we want to do this.

[Nyte 1]

People should always have a plan if this happens. As a beneficiary, I did. No matter how much I love my husband, or how much I want things to work, I had to be prepared for them not to.

This is key IMO.

[TBoneTX 45,831]

my fiancé visited me twice in the US

This is an opportunity -- or, more accurately, a completely impossible dream -- available to only a few.

[KayDeeCee 4,895]

This is an opportunity -- or, more accurately, a completely impossible dream -- available to only a few.

True, many are not from countries that have the VWP, and getting a tourist visa really is just a dream because it is damned near impossible to be approved for one.

[CarolAnn&Eddy 12]

This is an opportunity -- or, more accurately, a completely impossible dream -- available to only a few.

Couldn't have said it better! First time my fiance will step foot on US soil is when our K-1 is approved. He was denied entry because of our relationship creating stronger ties for him in the US than in Canada. He would love so much to be able to come and visit and get to know the rest of my family in person before him actually moving here.

[Supergirlfriend 1]

I was wondering if we could have a Jerry Springer show episod with immigrants? ..... I would so watch that!

That was a good one! lol

[SWEETEPIPHANY67 9]

Why is it that everytime I turn around I see someone bringing a person over to the states on a K1 visa and then decide not to get married. Although I am a US Citizen I hate the fact that this is happening. People you need to make up your mind before making this commitment and spending all this money. Must be nice to have money to play with. Even more playing with peoples emotions and dreams. I am well aware that everyone does not come over in all honesty, but those that do and left to believe they are loved by the person who petitions for them to only be left in a bad situation. I feel sorry for those that come here have no family or friends only to be told I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED ANYMORE so I guess you will have to go back. Why could you not figure that out before going that far!! Some people come from really bad living situations and really dont want to go back. There was enough love to start the situation! Geesh I just dont know what to say. Just to clarify I am married to a wonderful man from another country. We have been married for more than a year. I am glad I did not file for him till 7 months later because it made me even more sure to want to be with him and to be with him more in his environment.

I totally agree. Maybe if people take time to get to know each other, they will be able to make a better decision. I have visited my fiance at least 7 times. I have met his family and we talk at least twice daily. We have gone through our heated fellowship moments but we agree to disagree and keep on loving. His children call me often, especially his eldest daughter. This has been a long process but I have never been more sure about anyone.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Not everybody can afford to leave their jobs for 90 days or 120 days, to see if they should go on with the plan or not.

I am sure it is more difficult for people who is bringing their kids who had to leave school.

But I am always in favor to trust my feelings, sometimes going back home is not the worst that can happen.

People can change or show how they really are when they are in their normal environment.

When I left home, my father gave me a round ticket and he told me "If he is not good to you come back, don't let him disrespect you, do not let him ever hit you, if he does, just come back, or call me and I will go for you; I will not ask questions and I will not let anybody else ask you questions"

I think he may have known I would feel ashamed if I failed and probabily would not want to go back eeven if things were not good.

( I miss my father so much this week is 4 years without him )

You seem to have a wonderful relationship with your Dad, this is admirable.

This is an opportunity -- or, more accurately, a completely impossible dream -- available to only a few.

Yep. IMHO, the number one fault with K1.