People make up your mind before bringing someone here!!

[Caryh 5,206]

The visa isnt granted to make wedding plans. That can be done from anywhere. The immigrant knows little of planning weddings in the USA anyway & would probably prefer to marry in their own country. Settle in a bit? In many cultures its a huge break in tradition to settle in before a person marrys. The immigrant is at times thrown into a unique situation where I would think a " test drive " would help.

I personaly know a few women that came here only to decide they made a mistake. They had no plans to marry as far as I know. Keep in mind the visa is granted to people that may have met only once in their lives. A test drive is exactly what may be the best way to find out of the couple is compatable in a real life situation.

This is a difficult subject so you may need a nap as if you tire easily.

If it is a test drive, then why are both the petitioner and beneficiary required to write and sign letters saying they intend to marry within 90 days? I'd love to hear of someone at their interview say they're just coming to try out the relationship for 90 days and get married if it feels right. Yes the K-1 visa does give them 90 days to get married, and if things turn out bad to return home and not marry. But that is not the intent, and there is no way someone would ever get the visa if they stated they have doubts about if they would marry the person within 90 days. In fact, I believe that would be considered a material lie during the interview with the freshly signed letters of intent sitting in the file, and possibly grounds for a permanent ban.

[AmyWrites 593]

I really hate the K1 visa for many reasons, this is one of them. It's not a test drive. Don't make it slower by everyone else by applying for a fiance visa if you're not even sure you'll get married. Also, you got it because you said you'd get married!

[Joandjo 20]

Why is it that everytime I turn around I see someone bringing a person over to the states on a K1 visa and then decide not to get married. Although I am a US Citizen I hate the fact that this is happening. People you need to make up your mind before making this commitment and spending all this money. Must be nice to have money to play with. Even more playing with peoples emotions and dreams. I am well aware that everyone does not come over in all honesty, but those that do and left to believe they are loved by the person who petitions for them to only be left in a bad situation. I feel sorry for those that come here have no family or friends only to be told I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED ANYMORE so I guess you will have to go back. Why could you not figure that out before going that far!! Some people come from really bad living situations and really dont want to go back. There was enough love to start the situation! Geesh I just dont know what to say. Just to clarify I am married to a wonderful man from another country. We have been married for more than a year. I am glad I did not file for him till 7 months later because it made me even more sure to want to be with him and to be with him more in his environment.

I'm glad my marriage and process has worked out, it's been the best deceision of my life! My wife is supportive, motivated, intelligent and just down right great to be with. That said she made her mind up to meet an American ahead of time. I made up my mind that I wanted a family, before we met! I don't feel the need to ask people on a website for their opinions. I'm also not afraid to put my life out there so people can learn from my successes and from my mistakes. I would hope that this could be a place where people who didn't have the "LUCK" (and I believe it is absolutely a matter of Luck to find someone abroad and communicate sufficiently to "KNOW" that it's going to work out.) we had can put themselves out there without reproach.

I say thanks to the people who post their drama, problems as well as their successes. If I was tired of reading something, I wouldn't read it.

[Calicolom 266]

I agree with what everyone is saying, I had 2 failed marriages, with American females. I think a lot of people think they bring someone over from another country it is like getting a slave they can train. And that slave should thank them on their knees every day for bringing them to the U.S. People forget that the person they bring to the U.S. have a life of their own, in their own country, and have lived that life for a long time. One can never be sure about another person, but one should get to know the family and friends of the other person, and not think they are buying a piece of property or a mail order bride. A lot of people change very quick when they come to the U.S. sometimes it is not for the better, they may think this is the way to fit in better. I think the U.S.C. needs to be understanding and guide the newcomer; we are not that different from people living in other countries, we should not think we are better than the rest. I was an Immigrant many years ago.

[Ning 619]

If it is a test drive, then why are both the petitioner and beneficiary required to write and sign letters saying they intend to marry within 90 days? I'd love to hear of someone at their interview say they're just coming to try out the relationship for 90 days and get married if it feels right. Yes the K-1 visa does give them 90 days to get married, and if things turn out bad to return home and not marry. But that is not the intent, and there is no way someone would ever get the visa if they stated they have doubts about if they would marry the person within 90 days. In fact, I believe that would be considered a material lie during the interview with the freshly signed letters of intent sitting in the file, and possibly grounds for a permanent ban.

If you dont like the term test drive I can understand. I think we all know about the letters of intent. I think everyone that interviews knows they cant say they are trying out the relationship. But if they met just once in person they are granted a visa as we all know. Things can be very different when people are actually together for a longer period of time. This can be seen here on V J many times.

You agree that the 90 days allows them to marry OR " if it turns out bad to return home". What would you call that time period? Why are there 90 days allowed?

So those that dont marry have lied? And now should suffer a permanent ban? Who would determin they lied? The system is designed to grant visas to people that intend to marry & to allow them to go home if they dont.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Of course they're allowed to go home if it doesn't work out. And of course people SHOULD go home if it doesn't work out. However, going into the process with the mindset of "Hey, I'll try it for 90 days and see what happens" is wrong. It's not the intended use of the visa.

[David & Yulya 7]

I really think this is just a lot of useless complaining. Yes, we all want to be with our loved ones as soon as possible. And there are thousands of people waiting for visas. Are some of them rushing into things? Well, probably. But how many people rush into things and get married without the need of a visa? Love and the emotions around it are intense. Relationships don't always work. Telling someone they should think more before they apply, or they should try harder because a relationship fell apart...just seems silly to me. We all have to wait, we all spend the money and it shouldn't be anyone else's business. We are free to do whatever we want, get married to someone I met tomorrow, or apply for a visa and get married whenever the process is over. Yes waiting sucks, but everyone does it and it will not change.

[CarolAnn&Eddy 12]

I see both sides to this. I have also spent a lot of time with my fiance in his country, hang out with his family and friends, and enjoy every day I have there. But, he has not had that privilege to be able to come to the states and meet my family because of being denied entry. We have even joked about packing up my whole family and taking them to him. lol

I am sitting here thinking that if it was a perfect world, it would be really nice that if once you submitted a K-1 petition, that with your NOA1 your fiance received a short visiting visa pass (30-60 days). They could then come and visit in the US to meet family and all and make sure everything was what they wanted before continuing through the process.

We have discussed this a lot and he doesn't care where we are as long as we are together, but the obvious choice is here in the US since I own my home and have children. We just keep reassuring each other that as long as we stay strong together, we can get through all the changes that will happen and differences him moving to the States will bring. What I wouldn't give to cook for him, not worry about us having to be apart, going for our walks, and yes even picking up his dirty socks on a daily basis! lol

[JohnR! 5,495]

1338910710[/url]' post='5420840']

I really think this is just a lot of useless complaining. Yes, we all want to be with our loved ones as soon as possible. And there are thousands of people waiting for visas. Are some of them rushing into things? Well, probably. But how many people rush into things and get married without the need of a visa? Love and the emotions around it are intense. Relationships don't always work. Telling someone they should think more before they apply, or they should try harder because a relationship fell apart...just seems silly to me. We all have to wait, we all spend the money and it shouldn't be anyone else's business. We are free to do whatever we want, get married to someone I met tomorrow, or apply for a visa and get married whenever the process is over. Yes waiting sucks, but everyone does it and it will not change.

Nicely put! If It works for one couple out of a thousand, then it is worth it. In the long run, anyone who rushes into a K-1 visa and gets burned will end up paying the price anyway.

Freedom is not free.

[rclcaw 0]

I am a newbie to this site, but not to the situation. I have comments about this history, and also questions.

I know from personal experience that the people do this for all types of reasons, as I went through this process before.

I was married to a woman from England for 7 years; she came in on a K-1. Turns out, she was really only after a better lifestyle and things did not work in the long run. I regret it but gave it my best shot - I think 7 years shows that. I have been divorced for three years now.

Believe it or not - sometimes I do not! - I am preparing to go through this process again!

I met a wonderful lady from Canada through an online dating service. This was not my plan, but she searched me out.

Which sub-form would be best to post questions about a second filing? Would like to know if there are others here that have done this more than once. No questions about my sanity please - I have asked those of myself!

We plan to go the CR-1 route - seems to make much more sense.

[Fight for Love 98]

Let’s put it this way....remember the saying you will never know the real person UNTIL you guys live in one household. Maybe that's one of the reason why people back off...I know your too concern about the immigrant. Well did you even think about the situation of the USC...how that person feel?

TRUST me there always a REASON....WHY things didn't end up in positive way.

you think the USC...just waste his/her time to bring someone he/she love and end up NOTHING...NOPE...that’s not the way things are...just saying!!!!

[Caryh 5,206]

I am a newbie to this site, but not to the situation. I have comments about this history, and also questions.

I know from personal experience that the people do this for all types of reasons, as I went through this process before.

I was married to a woman from England for 7 years; she came in on a K-1. Turns out, she was really only after a better lifestyle and things did not work in the long run. I regret it but gave it my best shot - I think 7 years shows that. I have been divorced for three years now.

Believe it or not - sometimes I do not! - I am preparing to go through this process again!

I met a wonderful lady from Canada through an online dating service. This was not my plan, but she searched me out.

Which sub-form would be best to post questions about a second filing? Would like to know if there are others here that have done this more than once. No questions about my sanity please - I have asked those of myself!

We plan to go the CR-1 route - seems to make much more sense.

There's nothing special about having gone through this once ten years before and filing a CR-1.

[Ale_Grisolia 4]

People giving their word either to the goverment (by the intent letter) and to their fiancée and not fulfilling that word have a serius problem of commitment and moral values.

If you are going to get engaged in a relationship and you give your word it is suppose you thought about it and you want to do it. Either you know that person a lot or not. THe problem nowadays is that people and relationships for many people are disposable, so when something gets broke or they go through hard times in the relation, they quit, either way USC or Beneficiary. That happens under a K-1 or not. It happens everyday and every day more. On the other hand If a person lies and scams, that's also a lack of moral principles, they do everything in pursuit of their goal.

I also think this K-1 process it is cruel and wrong. People have to wait 6 months to years to live their life together with no more reason than "because is the process" there is no war, there is no delay with comunications, or postal mails delays like in the past. There is just a problem in the design of the process of the visa. They should give the visa faster and grant people with more time before the wedding, that way, the foreign person can adapt to the new country, traditions, meet the family, friends, help kids in the process to adjust the new country if there are kids, and then get marry, also the K-1 should come with a work permit included that way beneficiary can work right away if they want to.

This way you get there and you better do everything in a rush, 90 days it's too short to organize a wedding after an international move specially if you have kids.

I was denied a tourist visa to go visit under the only reason "because you have a k-1 in process and BY LAW (I know that's a lie but that's what they said in my tourist visa interview) you can not go visit your fiancee during this process " BY LAW"!!!! and later on I found a lot of people that they went to America during their K-1 process (just in case you are wondering: I did have million bonds to show I was coming back that they never ask me to show)

Therefore I will arrive there, never meet anyone in the family but my fiancee, I don´t know anything about living in America, neither my daughter, and in within 90 days I have to get marry , I will not be able to get out of the country until I get my AOS so I'm forced to go to my honeymoon inside America or wait until AOS to go to Europe or even visit my family in Argentina, I'm wondering: what will happen if in the middle of this process I want to come back to Argentina because I didn't like it? I will have to start over if I want to go back, and I have had spent an outrageous amount of money and time just to find out if I like living in America, and everything why? because of this obsolete and slow process that is getting on my nerves: first they didn' t allow me visit, second if my NOA 2 doesn't arrive on time I will have to wait longer due to school times and third I called to the US embassy in my country and at least 4 times I was told to fill for the tourist that I can go to visit just to find after paying that I was not allow to. God bless America folks but I rather prefer so many more countries that don't have this kind of ridiculous organization and are far more reasonable when it comes about living there like some countries in Europe.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Ale_n_Rober

[Lisel N Javier 3]

Sad but true

[Sandra G. 5,057]

Let's be honest many people get married after knowing each other less then one year, some of them just dated a few months, others only saw each other once or twice,many got married on the first date. We are our choices, we make fast decisions,we pay the price. You can tell the colors after a couple of years, and we know infatuation can last up two years. Of course some people are misled despite having a long relationship then I believe in this case maybe we can blame someone, but besides that who's to blame?