Failed to get married K1

[Peter_Pan 661]

I can provide you with the same "dose of reality" just by mentioning the Ukraine is about the highest green card scam country there is.

You are quite mistaken there.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Such an age difference is not common but is culturally more acceptable in Ukraine and Russia than the USA. I'm 49 and Alya is 28 and we have a great relationship.

Not really. An age gap up to 10 years is acceptable and even advisable for a love marriage.

Ask anyone in Eastern Europe about bigger age gaps, and you will only get one answer: green card/money. That isn't frowned upon, the lady is just seen as smart and protecting her back (and everyone concludes with "hope he dies soon so she can marry someone her age"). Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you were a 49 yo living modestly in Ukraine, there is no chance in hell you would have gotten someone so young (unless you looked really really good for your age). I know most people don't accept that, and think they are the exception, but, hey, we know what we talk among ourselves.

That's not to say your wife doesn't really love you - just pointing out that the whole "green card, a better life" aspect of your relationship plays a bigger role than it does for normal couples.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Peter_Pan

[P+J 47]

Not really. An age gap up to 10 years is acceptable and even advisable for a love marriage.

Ask anyone in Eastern Europe about bigger age gaps, and you will only get one answer: green card/money. That isn't frowned upon, the lady is just seen as smart and protecting her back (and everyone concludes with "hope he dies soon so she can marry someone her age"). Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you were a 49 yo living modestly in Ukraine, there is no chance in hell you would have gotten someone so young (unless you looked really really good for your age). I know most people don't accept that, and think they are the exception, but, hey, we know what we talk among ourselves.

That's not to say your wife doesn't really love you - just pointing out that the whole "green card, a better life" aspect of your relationship plays a bigger role than it does for normal couples.

This poster is 100% correct.

[bestofboston 36]

Having been married to a Ukrainian and my brother is still married to a Russian, I can state based on experience and observation that Ukranian and Russian women are extremely materialistic. This 21 y.o. gal had a chance to be married to a wealthy man who could have been a great provider is far more important to her than the age difference. She would have never came here if it was not for that.

Woman from eastern europe love very high end designer clothes, shoes and jewelry and they love to travel.

Unfortunately for my x-wife, my income was in the low 6 figures which did not afford her the opportunity to fly first class when we traveled. I told her that thats not going to happen while married to me.

P.S. I met my x-wife here in Boston and she was already a citizen. What I failed to see is just how shallow of a person she was until after we were married. It was within hours of our marriage that I began to see her true colors. After serveral years, I told her I had enough and wanted a divorce.

They say that there are two times in marriage that you are truly happy. The day you get married and the day you get divorced. In this marriage, it was true.

As far as age difference goes, my Filippino wife is 25 years younger than me. She is a sweet heart with not a mean bone in her and she truly loves me. She could have done much better than me but she is very happy with me and for the first time in my life, I am happy and in love with the woman I married to. I will admit though she has taken over my Lexus from me. She tells me that the Lexus is her car now. The good thing is it is now 5 years old and she will be happy with it for many years to come allowing me to buy a new one for myself if I desire.

Edited June 5, 2012 by bestofboston

[Dirk 30]

You guys are starting become Dr. Phil, there are 2 sides to the story, and you are only her side, as with many of these stories I'm sure fault is on both parts. I am sure the biggest issue is communication. Not even sure how this one even made it through the immigration question, when you getting married? I can tell everyone on this board, my fiancé and will be getting married within 3 days of arrival to the US, I'm not holding anything over her head. We all have to sign the I intent to marry letter...

[Dirk 30]

Having been married to a Ukrainian and my brother is still married to a Russian, I can state based on experience and observation that Ukranian and Russian women are extremely materialistic. This 21 y.o. gal had a chance to be married to a wealthy man who could have been a great provider is far more important to her than the age difference. She would have never came here if it was not for that.

Woman from eastern europe love very high end designer clothes, shoes and jewelry and they love to travel.

Unfortunately for my x-wife, my income was in the low 6 figures which did not afford her the opportunity to fly first class when we traveled. I told her that thats not going to happen while married to me.

P.S. I met my x-wife here in Boston and she was already a citizen. What I failed to see is just how shallow of a person she was until after we were married. It was within hours of our marriage that I began to see her true colors. After serveral years, I told her I had enough and wanted a divorce.

They say that there are two times in marriage that you are truly happy. The day you get married and the day you get divorced. In this marriage, it was true.

As far as age difference goes, my Filippino wife is 25 years younger than me. She is a sweet heart with not a mean bone in her and she truly loves me. She could have done much better than me but she is very happy with me and for the first time in my life, I am happy and in love with the woman I married to. I will admit though she has taken over my Lexus from me. She tells me that the Lexus is her car now. The good thing is it is now 5 years old and she will be happy with it for many years to come allowing me to buy a new one for myself if I desire.

You got it Boston!!!! My fiancé is the sweetest person I have ever met, all she wants is a family and to live a simple life, in fact she could careless if she comes to America or not....

[Darnell 8,478]

I wanna answer the question why he does not want to marry me. he is a millionaire, he is working for 18 hours a day with no day-offs. I almost dont see him, 10 minutes a day but he says he loves me most thats why Im still staying at his place. After one month I have been here he said that I am a wonderful girl and he loves me. but if to ask him will he marry me, he said that he wont. As I realized he needs a woman who can run his business as well as he does. im trying so hard, I started to run his italian restaurant at Myrtle Beach and it seems like he starts to like things the way they are but still he does not talk about wedding. He said before that in the end of June we will make a decision. or I leave, or we get married. Moreover we got a big difference in age. Im 21, he is 48.

And I wanted to add...I dont wanna marry another person, I love my fiance. If I cant marry him, anyway I wont stay, I will go back home because I respect american laws. Honestly I never wanted to live in the USA, I came in here just because of my fiance, he said that he loves me most and I did believe and still I do believe because he keeps saying this while doesnt show it...

I think if you can shift him out of his current work schedule, just even for 10 to 20 minutes, once, one time,

he can focus on the marriage question.

then once he's focused, have him sign the pre-nuptial (which you've prepared) showing that you get nothing until after 10 years of marriage.

IMO, he'll sign that, and you two will get married soonish. If you make the time to learn what is required there in Carolina.

Hurry, Hurry, Ms. Merry.

I just wanted to know all the ways that I may have. and choose the most right according to the US law.

According to my K1 visa I need to get married before 10th of July but the US officer at the JFK airport wrote on my white card (I94) the date that is August 7th. Does that mean that I can stay in the USA till this date, or i have to leave right after 1oth of July if I fail to get married?

Anyways, I thank all of you, guys, for your comments. It helps! thank you!

the controlling date is from the I-94, not the visa.

[shure 8]

hmmmm...sounds a little fishy to me, but who am I to judge. You provided two stories, or posts that contradicts itself. But case in point, you dont get married...GO home.

u are kinda rude to her...she was asking for advice, if u cant say anything nice to her then be quiet.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Having been married to a Ukrainian and my brother is still married to a Russian, I can state based on experience and observation that Ukranian and Russian women are extremely materialistic. This 21 y.o. gal had a chance to be married to a wealthy man who could have been a great provider is far more important to her than the age difference. She would have never came here if it was not for that.

Woman from eastern europe love very high end designer clothes, shoes and jewelry and they love to travel.

Unfortunately for my x-wife, my income was in the low 6 figures which did not afford her the opportunity to fly first class when we traveled. I told her that thats not going to happen while married to me.

P.S. I met my x-wife here in Boston and she was already a citizen. What I failed to see is just how shallow of a person she was until after we were married. It was within hours of our marriage that I began to see her true colors. After serveral years, I told her I had enough and wanted a divorce.

They say that there are two times in marriage that you are truly happy. The day you get married and the day you get divorced. In this marriage, it was true.

As far as age difference goes, my Filippino wife is 25 years younger than me. She is a sweet heart with not a mean bone in her and she truly loves me. She could have done much better than me but she is very happy with me and for the first time in my life, I am happy and in love with the woman I married to. I will admit though she has taken over my Lexus from me. She tells me that the Lexus is her car now. The good thing is it is now 5 years old and she will be happy with it for many years to come allowing me to buy a new one for myself if I desire.

If you are making a figure salary, you are super rich in her eyes, hell, mine too, I am working several jobs and I still don't make more than maybe 8 k per year.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Peter_Pan

[spectec 12]

Not really. An age gap up to 10 years is acceptable and even advisable for a love marriage.

Ask anyone in Eastern Europe about bigger age gaps, and you will only get one answer: green card/money. That isn't frowned upon, the lady is just seen as smart and protecting her back (and everyone concludes with "hope he dies soon so she can marry someone her age"). Sorry to burst your bubble, but if you were a 49 yo living modestly in Ukraine, there is no chance in hell you would have gotten someone so young (unless you looked really really good for your age). I know most people don't accept that, and think they are the exception, but, hey, we know what we talk among ourselves.

That's not to say your wife doesn't really love you - just pointing out that the whole "green card, a better life" aspect of your relationship plays a bigger role than it does for normal couples.

Hmmm. I am Marty's Russian wife. Excuse me, my English is not so good. Your post made me mad. Marty said you didn't mention us, you was talking in general. Well, I hope so. Your words sound insulting for me though.

Green card/ money as reason to marry? it is stereotype. Unfortunately, it happens pretty often, but it doesn't make it true for everyone, who has big age gap. If i wanted to

marry money, I could do it in Ukraine, there are many rich guys. My husband is not so rich. And i never had desire to move to USA. I came here just because I want to be with my man. I wish he was from Europe, USA is too far from my home, my family, my friends. Better he was from Ukraine, so we would not wait 6 months to get my visa.

that's terrible long process, I didn't nervous so much ever as I did at interview. I would not mind he moves to live with me in Ukraine. Doesn't matter where to live, point is being with him.

Yes, I am smart, but I am not mercantile. I support myself on my one since 16 yo, and now I have longest vacation of whole my life. I can't wait to get my work permit so I could start to work and help my husband. "hope he dies soon so she can marry someone her age"?! How can you even say that to person whom you don't know at all??? That is kind of my personality which I should not tell on public but I want you to know - I am not interested in men my age. I always choose rather older man. And I don't mean older 2-3 years difference. I mean much older than me.

I don't like to tell my private feelings on public, but I want you to know - I love my husband, I happy to be with him, I can't imagine my life without him, I hope I can die first somehow, otherwise I will follow him right the way.

[pauli 49]

As others have already noted, the truly odd thing about the OP's post is not the age gap, the money, or the nationality, but the fact that she asked about marrying another U.S. citizen when she is currently engaged to one. Who asks that question?

[Peter_Pan 661]

Hmmm. I am Marty's Russian wife. Excuse me, my English is not so good. Your post made me mad. Marty said you didn't mention us, you was talking in general. Well, I hope so. Your words sound insulting for me though.

Green card/ money as reason to marry? it is stereotype. Unfortunately, it happens pretty often, but it doesn't make it true for everyone, who has big age gap. If i wanted to

marry money, I could do it in Ukraine, there are many rich guys. My husband is not so rich. And i never had desire to move to USA. I came here just because I want to be with my man. I wish he was from Europe, USA is too far from my home, my family, my friends. Better he was from Ukraine, so we would not wait 6 months to get my visa.

that's terrible long process, I didn't nervous so much ever as I did at interview. I would not mind he moves to live with me in Ukraine. Doesn't matter where to live, point is being with him.

Yes, I am smart, but I am not mercantile. I support myself on my one since 16 yo, and now I have longest vacation of whole my life. I can't wait to get my work permit so I could start to work and help my husband. "hope he dies soon so she can marry someone her age"?! How can you even say that to person whom you don't know at all??? That is kind of my personality which I should not tell on public but I want you to know - I am not interested in men my age. I always choose rather older man. And I don't mean older 2-3 years difference. I mean much older than me.

I don't like to tell my private feelings on public, but I want you to know - I love my husband, I happy to be with him, I can't imagine my life without him, I hope I can die first somehow, otherwise I will follow him right the way.

Now honestly, what else could you have said? "You were right"?

Plus, come on, you know how beautiful women in Ukraine are; at 28 you are definitely too old to marry rich there, no? It is true here, we have our share of rich dudes, but they marry barely legal supermodels. I am not Ukrainian, but I am close enough to know the mentality because it is somewhat common in this region. And you know we definitely don't think age is just a number. If you rose above that mentality, good for you, most haven't.

[spectec 12]

Now honestly, what else could you have said? "You were right"?

Plus, come on, you know how beautiful women in Ukraine are; at 28 you are definitely too old to marry rich there, no? It is true here, we have our share of rich dudes, but they marry barely legal supermodels. I am not Ukrainian, but I am close enough to know the mentality because it is somewhat common in this region. And you know we definitely don't think age is just a number. If you rose above that mentality, good for you, most haven't.

Thanks for calling me too old))) If I had goal to marry money I could do it when I was 18 yo, sounds logic enough? Belive me, I had chance to do it. My point was I married man whom I trully love. I wanted to prove you that is not every ukrainian/russian woman is materialistic. But you keep insulting me, i don't know why. By the way my shape is not any worse than any 18 yo girl, maybe even better than some of them, and i am not trying to flatter myself. I am slim and tall, most people says i should be a model. i just like to earn money by my brain and talents, not by my shape.

[Penguin_ie 5,992]

*** topic closed as it's gone way off topic and into OP bashing. OP has her answer. ****