Marriage Protection & Recourse in Law and Faith

[Bosco 1]

Honey, I have given and given, so much so that people PM me to ask why I waste time on such a hard-headed woman. It's not for your sake, that's for sure. You are lost.

Funny... I have gotten those same PMs about you

I have been instructed not to talk to you anymore and I don't wanna get kicked off this site becuase I need it so buh-bye now.

I don't know what is has to do with the validity of marriages. It has to do with the protections that should be afforded the parties involved if the marriage fails.

My personal feeling is that we don't shuck the rights available to us, regardless of how imperfect they are. We fight to maintain them, enforce them, improve them and seek more. If we toss them aside because we find them flawed, we can easily lose them.

Ok but this is about the validity of marriage... if those rights are not enforced then does that make the marriage invalid as others have claimed?

Maybe you can give me some examples of exactly what rights a woman is giving up if she does not have her marriage registered with the govt?

The rights will vary country to country and state to state, but if the marriage is not registered, there will be none or fewer of those rights. Alimony is one example. No marriage, no alimony, unless you live in a very progressive state that offers an alternative form of support. In the U.S., children normally get child support with or without a marriage, but this is NOT the case in many Islamic countries. Therefore, if there is no registered marriage, there are no paternal rights afforded the child(ren). This can include child support in the event of divorce, inheritance in the event of death, and even citizenship/nationality being passed down.

In terms of inheritance for the spouse, many states have laws that require a spouse to inherit a portion of the estate, they cannot be excluded. No marriage, and the money and property can go anywhere. Islamic law dictates how much a wife and children will receive, but if there is no registered marriage in Islamic countries requiring marriage be registered, the wives will potentially inherit nothing. Applying this to marriages between ME/NA men and women here, if the man (God forbid) died before coming, his wife here would inherit from any property/money he owned *if* their marriage had been registered. If not, she would be entitled to nothing (although the family could choose to do the right thing).

The laws may not be perfect but they do afford some protection.

[Veiled Princess 1]

The rights will vary country to country and state to state, but if the marriage is not registered, there will be none or fewer of those rights. Alimony is one example. No marriage, no alimony, unless you live in a very progressive state that offers an alternative form of support. In the U.S., children normally get child support with or without a marriage, but this is NOT the case in many Islamic countries. Therefore, if there is no registered marriage, there are no paternal rights afforded the child(ren). This can include child support in the event of divorce, inheritance in the event of death, and even citizenship/nationality being passed down.

In terms of inheritance for the spouse, many states have laws that require a spouse to inherit a portion of the estate, they cannot be excluded. No marriage, and the money and property can go anywhere. Islamic law dictates how much a wife and children will receive, but if there is no registered marriage in Islamic countries requiring marriage be registered, the wives will potentially inherit nothing. Applying this to marriages between ME/NA men and women here, if the man (God forbid) died before coming, his wife here would inherit from any property/money he owned *if* their marriage had been registered. If not, she would be entitled to nothing (although the family could choose to do the right thing).

The laws may not be perfect but they do afford some protection.

There are states that recognize unregistered marriages and if you have a common law marriage in one of the states that support it then it's likely that it will be recognized in another state.

Is alimony a right afforded in Islam?

Islamic countries (if they are Islamic) should recognize the marriage contract even is she didn't have it registered.

It is possible for anyone to draw up a will for anyone they choose to inherit from them so this is not really a right that anyone would give up. In fact, one could include this in their marriage contract and there would be no legal reason that the courts should choose to exclude this portion from being enforced.

There are men in the US and the UK right now who have more than one wife... they don't have their marriages registered but they have wills to protect their wives and childrens inheritance in the event of his death.

Are these the only 'rights' that a woman would 'give up' if she chose not to register her marriage?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Defame, abuse, harass, stalk, threaten or otherwise violate the legal rights (such as rights of privacy and publicity) of others.

Haven't done it. I have only commented on what you have made public.

Restrict or inhibit any other user from using and enjoying the Forums.

If I have done that, you have been right there with me, Layla.

Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users.

You have called me everything but a child of God, things that I haven't called you and will not repeat here. You have insulted my family. You have whined and cried and turned people aginst me, portraying yourself as a poor victim. If these are the rules, you have been here longer than I and you have violated every one of them. Yet, you lecture me.

I will continue to post, and you will not have one say about whatever I post. That will make your head pop off since you think I am Satan. I'm all for it!

In terms of inheritance for the spouse, many states have laws that require a spouse to inherit a portion of the estate, they cannot be excluded. No marriage, and the money and property can go anywhere. Islamic law dictates how much a wife and children will receive, but if there is no registered marriage in Islamic countries requiring marriage be registered, the wives will potentially inherit nothing. Applying this to marriages between ME/NA men and women here, if the man (God forbid) died before coming, his wife here would inherit from any property/money he owned *if* their marriage had been registered. If not, she would be entitled to nothing (although the family could choose to do the right thing).

Social security benefits and other government bennies are not allowed to people who are not legally married.

The laws may not be perfect but they do afford some protection.

More than you get when you just believe you are married, that's for sure.

Wills, the one size fits all that those ignorant of the law believe to be the cure for concubinage, can be challenged. My cousin is an attorney who has taken cases of legal wives that challenged the dead husband's will in court and denied all property and inheritances to the husband's concubines, leaving them with nothing. There is no real protection for couples in fake marriages and no support for their validity in Islam. Ignorance of the law bites and it bites hard!

Only the legal wife has rights and first dibs on all communal property. That is the way the law is structured and that is who wins. If she says no, it is rare for the court to give marital property away to an interloper or a non-married survivor. You take your chances when relying on wills, and yur chances aren't good.

Edited October 15, 2006 by szsz

[Bosco 1]

The rights will vary country to country and state to state, but if the marriage is not registered, there will be none or fewer of those rights. Alimony is one example. No marriage, no alimony, unless you live in a very progressive state that offers an alternative form of support. In the U.S., children normally get child support with or without a marriage, but this is NOT the case in many Islamic countries. Therefore, if there is no registered marriage, there are no paternal rights afforded the child(ren). This can include child support in the event of divorce, inheritance in the event of death, and even citizenship/nationality being passed down.

In terms of inheritance for the spouse, many states have laws that require a spouse to inherit a portion of the estate, they cannot be excluded. No marriage, and the money and property can go anywhere. Islamic law dictates how much a wife and children will receive, but if there is no registered marriage in Islamic countries requiring marriage be registered, the wives will potentially inherit nothing. Applying this to marriages between ME/NA men and women here, if the man (God forbid) died before coming, his wife here would inherit from any property/money he owned *if* their marriage had been registered. If not, she would be entitled to nothing (although the family could choose to do the right thing).

The laws may not be perfect but they do afford some protection.

There are states that recognize unregistered marriages and if you have a common law marriage in one of the states that support it then it's likely that it will be recognized in another state.

Is alimony a right afforded in Islam?

Islamic countries (if they are Islamic) should recognize the marriage contract even is she didn't have it registered.

It is possible for anyone to draw up a will for anyone they choose to inherit from them so this is not really a right that anyone would give up. In fact, one could include this in their marriage contract and there would be no legal reason that the courts should choose to exclude this portion from being enforced.

There are men in the US and the UK right now who have more than one wife... they don't have their marriages registered but they have wills to protect their wives and childrens inheritance in the event of his death.

Are these the only 'rights' that a woman would 'give up' if she chose not to register her marriage?

You are arguing exceptions.

Common law marriages still need to be *recognized*, and that is what is at issue here, a marriage that is recognized by the state/country. This is most often done through registration. I don't think common law marriages exist in many if any Muslim countries.

Many Islamic contracts include an amount that will be paid to the woman upon divorce. If that contract is not registered, it is likely unenforcable.

Islamic countries *should* recognize the marriage contracts, but most don't. Isn't this what is at issue? You have rights for yourself and children within your reach by registering your marriage. Isn't what a country should do irrelevent to what you asked? You asked what is the benefit *to* registering.

I don't really understand the next thing you are saying about wills. This is assuming that both parties draw up wills leaving the other party something. Many people don't have wills. With no will in place, most states require a percentage of the estate be left to the spouse. This is a protection enforced by registering not is not necessarily in place otherwise.

Islam is clear on inheritance laws. If a couple is married and one dies, and they have no *registered* marriage, there is no inheritance for the wife and children. Again, this can affect nationality as well.

You can make exceptions about how a will *could* be written or how Islamic countries *should* (but don't always) recognize Islamic only marriages, but these really do not change the fact that registering does benefit the parties involved. You have already admitted this yourself, so I don't really get the debate.

I want to make it clear I am not arguing the validity of marriages. I think that is another issue altogether. You asked what about what rights are given up by not registering. They may not be significant to you, but I certainly want them in place for myself and any children we have.

[Veiled Princess 1]

[002.180] It is prescribed for you, when death approaches any of you, if he leaves wealth, that he makes a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable manners. (This is) a duty upon Al-Muttaqûn (the pious. See V.2:2).

[002.181] Then whoever changes the bequest after hearing it, the sin shall be on those who make the change. Truly, Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Common law marriages still need to be *recognized*, and that is what is at issue here, a marriage that is recognized by the state/country. This is most often done through registration. I don't think common law marriages exist in many if any Muslim countries.

And they need to be recognized by a governmental entity. The nikah is a contract and it is only enforcable when recognized by a governmental entity. You can't get around it.

Many Islamic contracts include an amount that will be paid to the woman upon divorce. If that contract is not registered, it is likely unenforcable.

The validity of a contract is in its ability to be enforced. If it cannot be enforced, it is not valid.

Islamic countries *should* recognize the marriage contracts, but most don't. Isn't this what is at issue? You have rights for yourself and children within your reach by registering your marriage. Isn't what a country should do irrelevent to what you asked? You asked what is the benefit *to* registering.

What should be done is irrelevent; only what is done counts. Protection is required by Islam and that is absent in paper marriages.

I don't really understand the next thing you are saying about wills. This is assuming that both parties draw up wills leaving the other party something. Many people don't have wills. With no will in place, most states require a percentage of the estate be left to the spouse. This is a protection enforced by registering not is not necessarily in place otherwise.

As I said before, marital property is the domain of a legal spouse. That is why when you have a legal separation, it often provides for the separation of property and funds gained during the separation so that it doesnt become marital property.

Islam is clear on inheritance laws. If a couple is married and one dies, and they have no *registered* marriage, there is no inheritance for the wife and children. Again, this can affect nationality as well.

True.

You can make exceptions about how a will *could* be written or how Islamic countries *should* (but don't always) recognize Islamic only marriages, but these really do not change the fact that registering does benefit the parties involved. You have already admitted this yourself, so I don't really get the debate.

Facts just get in the way of the arguments for some.

I want to make it clear I am not arguing the validity of marriages. I think that is another issue altogether. You asked what about what rights are given up by not registering. They may not be significant to you, but I certainly want them in place for myself and any children we have.

Without rights and enforcable responsibilities, a marriage in Islam is not valid. Straight up! Wishing doesn't change a thing.

[002.180] It is prescribed for you, when death approaches any of you, if he leaves wealth, that he makes a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable manners. (This is) a duty upon Al-Muttaqûn (the pious. See V.2:2).

[002.181] Then whoever changes the bequest after hearing it, the sin shall be on those who make the change. Truly, Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower.

There is a "reasonable usage" clause applied to this, and it does not require inheritance for concubinage. Those who do not obtain the rights of a legal wife are concubines and limited in Islamic law as to inheritance.

Edited October 15, 2006 by szsz

[Bosco 1]

[002.180] It is prescribed for you, when death approaches any of you, if he leaves wealth, that he makes a bequest to parents and next of kin, according to reasonable manners. (This is) a duty upon Al-Muttaqûn (the pious. See V.2:2).

[002.181] Then whoever changes the bequest after hearing it, the sin shall be on those who make the change. Truly, Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower.

Again, this is assuming people do what is right.

VP, you are free to do what you want and I am not trying to tell you what to do. What is important to one person is not necessarily important to another. These things are *very* important to me. I want my children to have Moroccan nationality. I want them to have a legally enforcable right to inheritance. Also, I want them to be considered legitimate children. I care what other people think of them. If my marriage goes bad, I want to know that I did what I could to ensure they would get support (of course I would like to think their father would pay regardless). Marriage laws are clear in Morocco. I want to do what is legal there. I want to be able to get a hotel room with my husband and have a marriage certificate and not have to pay a bribe. I care that society recognizes that we are married. I am not saying you or anyone should care about these things, only that I do.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

VP, you are free to do what you want and I am not trying to tell you what to do. What is important to one person is not necessarily important to another. These things are *very* important to me. I want my children to have Moroccan nationality. I want them to have a legally enforcable right to inheritance. Also, I want them to be considered legitimate children. I care what other people think of them. If my marriage goes bad, I want to know that I did what I could to ensure they would get support (of course I would like to think their father would pay regardless). Marriage laws are clear in Morocco. I want to do what is legal there. I want to be able to get a hotel room with my husband and have a marriage certificate and not have to pay a bribe. I care that society recognizes that we are married. I am not saying you or anyone should care about these things, only that I do.

I care that people don't get the impression that doing any less than this is sanctioned in Islam. That is very important to me. Women surrendering their rights and accepting less is not what should be encouraged.

Edited October 15, 2006 by szsz

[Veiled Princess 1]

You are arguing exceptions.

Common law marriages still need to be *recognized*, and that is what is at issue here, a marriage that is recognized by the state/country. This is most often done through registration. I don't think common law marriages exist in many if any Muslim countries.

Many Islamic contracts include an amount that will be paid to the woman upon divorce. If that contract is not registered, it is likely unenforcable.

Islamic countries *should* recognize the marriage contracts, but most don't. Isn't this what is at issue? You have rights for yourself and children within your reach by registering your marriage. Isn't what a country should do irrelevent to what you asked? You asked what is the benefit *to* registering.

I don't really understand the next thing you are saying about wills. This is assuming that both parties draw up wills leaving the other party something. Many people don't have wills. With no will in place, most states require a percentage of the estate be left to the spouse. This is a protection enforced by registering not is not necessarily in place otherwise.

Islam is clear on inheritance laws. If a couple is married and one dies, and they have no *registered* marriage, there is no inheritance for the wife and children. Again, this can affect nationality as well.

You can make exceptions about how a will *could* be written or how Islamic countries *should* (but don't always) recognize Islamic only marriages, but these really do not change the fact that registering does benefit the parties involved. You have already admitted this yourself, so I don't really get the debate.

I want to make it clear I am not arguing the validity of marriages. I think that is another issue altogether. You asked what about what rights are given up by not registering. They may not be significant to you, but I certainly want them in place for myself and any children we have.

We are arguing whether one has a valid marriage if the marriage is not registered... if the validity of such a marriage was not in question I would not even bother arguing it... the arguement is that many rights are not protected and so Islam does not consider this a valid marriage because of that but then the argument is also that these rights aren't really being enforced anyway so what's the big deal with saying the marriage isn't valid? If one marriage is not valid because the so called rights are not protected then why are other marriages valid when those protections are not enforced.

As far as rights go... some of these rights that are being mentioned are not really rights that Islam has afforded.... it's my opinion that we're possibly overstepping boundaries set by God when we start demanding rights that He didn't give us... alimony for one... there is no reason a man should have to support his ex wife after they have divorced unless she's breastfeeding his child... at least not in Islam... so to register a marriage with a govt in order to recieve this right seems kind of off to me.

I don't know what you're talking about a fee being paid to a woman upon divorce unless it's like a delayed mahr and I personally don't consider that to be allowed in Islam anyway because a mahr is supposed to be agreed upon and paid before the marriage takes place from my understanding.

As far as govt benifits... well.... that little $200 isn't much to give up now is it? That's not gonna be around much longer anyway.

I'm not against registering a marriage so much but I am against anyone declaring it haraam when it's clearly not if it's not registered. I consider this kind of ruling to be bidah because it was not a practice of the prophet (sal allahu alayhi wa salaam) or his companions to register their marriages with any govt official.

As far as having different laws back then... because I know that's what's coming... we're not supposed to be making up laws as we go along.... we're supposed to rule by God's law alone and not laws that we have decided we need because we think God wasn't smart enough to leave us with a complete religion like He stated in His book. Instead of attacking women who have done nothing less than try to follow their religion to the best of their ability.... why not petition the govts of the world to change their laws to at least allow for Islamic law for muslms who live there. There is absolutely no reason that a marriage contract who has been signed by both parties, the wali, and two witnesses should not be enforcable in any country... regardless of whether the marriage is registered in that country or not.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Again, this is assuming people do what is right.

VP, you are free to do what you want and I am not trying to tell you what to do. What is important to one person is not necessarily important to another. These things are *very* important to me. I want my children to have Moroccan nationality. I want them to have a legally enforcable right to inheritance. Also, I want them to be considered legitimate children. I care what other people think of them. If my marriage goes bad, I want to know that I did what I could to ensure they would get support (of course I would like to think their father would pay regardless). Marriage laws are clear in Morocco. I want to do what is legal there. I want to be able to get a hotel room with my husband and have a marriage certificate and not have to pay a bribe. I care that society recognizes that we are married. I am not saying you or anyone should care about these things, only that I do.

Well it is clearly stated there that the one who doesn't do what it right is the one who carries the sin.

I am not telling you not to register your marriage... you clearly have your reasons that you'd want to do so... I also have my reasons why I want to do so as well. I have never claimed that I would not register it eventually. What I am defending here is the fact that it is a valid marriage in Islam regardless of whether this govt or that govt chooses to recognize it or not.

As far as guaranteeing your child(ren) will be supported... there is no such guarantee. All he really has to do in the event of a divorce is take his child(ren) back to Morrocco with him and if they have the same laws there are many other ME/NA countries, you can't even get your child back in the states without his permission. You can have your marriage and divorce registered on the moon for all it matters and it won't make a difference.

Islam is clear on inheritance laws. If a couple is married and one dies, and they have no *registered* marriage, there is no inheritance for the wife and children. Again, this can affect nationality as well.

I'm going to have to ask to see this clearly stated law in the Quran or the Sunnah that the marriage has to be registered to be elligible for inheritance.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Pensions, only allowed to the spouse, are not small change.

It is not so much registering a marriage that is the issue. It is how one gains the protection and enforcement REQUIRED by Islam. There is no bida in following the law to meet the requirement. One cannot just declare themselves married, then expect that their rights and responsibilites are secured. That is the bida. It is certainly not what the Prophet prescribed, so don't blame him for what is lacking in a paper marriage.

God has directed laws for husbands and wives and you don't get to be a husband or a wife by wishing to be and calling it Islam. That is a bida. That is why the articles that Rebecca and I presented before directed registering marriage, for the protection. If you reject protection and enforcement and call it Islam, that is a bida. If you want to imitate cohabiting couples who aren't married and call it Islam, that is a bida. Our arguments are not full of bida, but those who reject protection are full of it.

[Bosco 1]

You are arguing exceptions.

Common law marriages still need to be *recognized*, and that is what is at issue here, a marriage that is recognized by the state/country. This is most often done through registration. I don't think common law marriages exist in many if any Muslim countries.

Many Islamic contracts include an amount that will be paid to the woman upon divorce. If that contract is not registered, it is likely unenforcable.

Islamic countries *should* recognize the marriage contracts, but most don't. Isn't this what is at issue? You have rights for yourself and children within your reach by registering your marriage. Isn't what a country should do irrelevent to what you asked? You asked what is the benefit *to* registering.

I don't really understand the next thing you are saying about wills. This is assuming that both parties draw up wills leaving the other party something. Many people don't have wills. With no will in place, most states require a percentage of the estate be left to the spouse. This is a protection enforced by registering not is not necessarily in place otherwise.

Islam is clear on inheritance laws. If a couple is married and one dies, and they have no *registered* marriage, there is no inheritance for the wife and children. Again, this can affect nationality as well.

You can make exceptions about how a will *could* be written or how Islamic countries *should* (but don't always) recognize Islamic only marriages, but these really do not change the fact that registering does benefit the parties involved. You have already admitted this yourself, so I don't really get the debate.

I want to make it clear I am not arguing the validity of marriages. I think that is another issue altogether. You asked what about what rights are given up by not registering. They may not be significant to you, but I certainly want them in place for myself and any children we have.

We are arguing whether one has a valid marriage if the marriage is not registered... if the validity of such a marriage was not in question I would not even bother arguing it... the arguement is that many rights are not protected and so Islam does not consider this a valid marriage because of that but then the argument is also that these rights aren't really being enforced anyway so what's the big deal with saying the marriage isn't valid? If one marriage is not valid because the so called rights are not protected then why are other marriages valid when those protections are not enforced.

As far as rights go... some of these rights that are being mentioned are not really rights that Islam has afforded.... it's my opinion that we're possibly overstepping boundaries set by God when we start demanding rights that He didn't give us... alimony for one... there is no reason a man should have to support his ex wife after they have divorced unless she's breastfeeding his child... at least not in Islam... so to register a marriage with a govt in order to recieve this right seems kind of off to me.

I don't know what you're talking about a fee being paid to a woman upon divorce unless it's like a delayed mahr and I personally don't consider that to be allowed in Islam anyway because a mahr is supposed to be agreed upon and paid before the marriage takes place from my understanding.

As far as govt benifits... well.... that little $200 isn't much to give up now is it? That's not gonna be around much longer anyway.

I'm not against registering a marriage so much but I am against anyone declaring it haraam when it's clearly not if it's not registered. I consider this kind of ruling to be bidah because it was not a practice of the prophet (sal allahu alayhi wa salaam) or his companions to register their marriages with any govt official.

As far as having different laws back then... because I know that's what's coming... we're not supposed to be making up laws as we go along.... we're supposed to rule by God's law alone and not laws that we have decided we need because we think God wasn't smart enough to leave us with a complete religion like He stated in His book. Instead of attacking women who have done nothing less than try to follow their religion to the best of their ability.... why not petition the govts of the world to change their laws to at least allow for Islamic law for muslms who live there. There is absolutely no reason that a marriage contract who has been signed by both parties, the wali, and two witnesses should not be enforcable in any country... regardless of whether the marriage is registered in that country or not.

I was only replying to your question "Maybe you can give me some examples of exactly what rights a woman is giving up if she does not have her marriage registered with the govt?"

Yes, I was talked about a deferred mahr. It is my understanding that mahr can be deferred if the terms are specific. It it is my contract and it was my wali that suggested it.

A woman is entitled to maintenance during iddat.

This still leaves the inheritance and rights of the children.

While there is no reason why a marriage contract with wali, two witneses should not be enforcable, this is the reality.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I was only replying to your question "Maybe you can give me some examples of exactly what rights a woman is giving up if she does not have her marriage registered with the govt?"

Yes, I was talked about a deferred mahr. It is my understanding that mahr can be deferred if the terms are specific. It it is my contract and it was my wali that suggested it.

A woman is entitled to maintenance during iddat.

This still leaves the inheritance and rights of the children.

While there is no reason why a marriage contract with wali, two witneses should not be enforcable, this is the reality.

If you have a contract that states if he leaves you he has to pay you some amount of money then there is no reason that should not be valid in a court of law. I don't personally agree with this but it's not my call in your marriage.

Alimony kicks in after the divorce.... this society does not recognize the Islamic waiting period so that's a moot point.

A will could be drawn up for inheritance and there is no right in Islam that entitles a woman to inherit all of her husbands estate in the event of his death. It is commanded in the Quran that we should make a will before death so anyone who doesn't do so could possibly be considered in violation of Islamic law.

Any person or court who does not uphold a valid will will be judged by God on judgement day... just like anyone else who doesn't uphold a right that they owe to another person.

That's the main thing that's being forgotten here I think.. personal responsibility to the Lord of the worlds.

When requesting/demanding rights from anyone all we can really do is hope they are honorable enough to do so.... either the person making the contract or the govt official upholding it.... if they don't then they will answer on JD and the one who lost out on that right will get it in Jannah inshallah.

There are many places in the world where rights are not upheld... including the US... that doesn't make it un-Islamic to marry in those places.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

While there is no reason why a marriage contract with wali, two witneses should not be enforcable, this is the reality.

Laws and enforcement vary from venue to venue; that is simply fact. Allah protected us by commanding that we follow the law of the land where we are. It has been agreed that there is nothing against Islam to register one's marriage to make it legal and enforcable, so what is the problem? Not following God's law leads one to believe that it is somehow "Islamic" to ignore just laws that provide for what Allah has decreed. There is no support in Islam for that.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

One doesn't gain honorable treatment by beginning a relationship without honorable treatment. Any man who will allow a woman to believe she is married because they say so is not an honorable man. Garbage in, garbage out. The results of personal responsibility in a marriage are reflective of what is put into it. The less you expect, the less you deserve, and don't be surprised when that is what you get.

Edited October 15, 2006 by szsz