Why the obsession with Muslims and sex?

[NY_BX 397]

Why the obsession with Muslims and sex?

Publication Date: May 22, 2012.Source: Jezebel.

Muslims today are young, sexually and politically frustrated. This isn't the strapline of a new reality show, but the conclusions of stereotype-laden analysis from the Daily Beast. Data from Google Trends showed that six of the ten countries most frequently searching for the word "sex" on the search engine have a Muslim majority. Based on the data, the blog concludes that data "accentuates the Muslim Middle East's fraught relationship with sexuality". (Nevermind the fact that the only country technically in the Middle East is Turkey — unless you count the North African countries of Egypt and Morocco).

It's simple: sexually frustrated Muslims are turning to the dark corners of the internet to indulge their shameful and forbidden fantasies.

And we seem to be ready to believe it. In the past few months, two false stories about bizarre rulings from deranged clerics have managed to go viral —- without verification. Most recently, there was the "farewell sex" law allegedly proposed by Egypt's Salafi party in Parliament. As it turns out, the law was never even on the table. Still, the story went viral quickly —- and it seemed to fit the bill of the crazy bearded fundamentalist. Last December, another unverified story about an anonymous cleric who declared that women should steer clear of phallic foods, including cucumbers and bananas, also went viral. The Egyptian website that initially posted it, Bikya Masr, eventually admitted that the story was unverified, but the damage was already done. The fact that both of these stories were not only published, but also quickly circulated creates a number of problems.

This isn't just about a fascination with the perversions of nutty and misogynistic spiritual leaders —- it is also deeply tied to an age old obsession with taking a peek into the harem, and attempting to understand whether or not Muslim women are, in fact, oppressed. The secret sex lives of barbaric Muslim men and their oppressed wives is not a relic of a Colonial past, but still something that continues to enthrall us today. In 2008, Naomi Wolf wrote about the secret world "behind the veil", where she gave a glance into the supposed secret sexual lives of Muslim women. After interviewing Muslim women in a couple of countries, Wolf gushes about an exotic and tantalising world of Muslim women —- who also enjoy beauty products and sex. Shocker.

Wolf also decides that based on conversations with women in vastly different countries, all Muslim women find sexual liberation through the hijab. Muslim women are spoken about, analyzed, but never given the space to answer for themselves, rather than acting as a spokesperson for all Muslims. Wolf isn't the only one to evoke this image: there was Sex and the City 2, and our endless fascination with Muslim women and lingerie.

So, why are countries with really high percentages of Muslims googling "sex"? It might be a lack of access or education, it might be conservative values —- but this ultimately relies on the community and country. With 2.2 billion Muslims out there, the way in which religion is practiced in different countries not only makes it unhelpful to generalize —- it is also inaccurate. Maybe this isn't as much about Islam in itself, as it is about societies with more public conservative values, a problem that isn't exclusive to the so-called Muslim world.

I'm not convinced that we've figured out how to talk about sex here at home either. Recently, Men's Health released a "smut census" listing the top ten "porn capitals" in America —- based on data such as web searches and movie rentals. Of the top ten cities, only two are in states that do not require abstinence only education. In total, there are 26 states that "stress" abstinence for teens, and it probably does not help that Republicans are trying to legislate the ####### out of our vaginas. Nutty religious values, while frustrating, are not the sole reason for a deficiency in sex education —- even though they might be an excuse. The fight for better sex education is something that exists in most areas, it's just that the conversation and fight for it is not necessarily the same across the board.

The way in which religion is practiced is determined by a myriad of factors, including cultural and socioeconomic factors. Treating Muslims as a single body is a self-fulfilling nightmare: it only helps squash the voices of those trying to challenge patriarchal versions of Islam. That's the funny thing about oppression: it's multi-layered. It is true that horrible things are done in the name of Islam, and it doesn't help to tiptoe around it. However, boiling it all down to sexual frustration, or the anger of men, does not go very far. Only once we acknowledge its complexity will we even be able to talk about how to tackle oppression. Context isn't a cop out; it is a necessity.

About the author: Sara Yasin is a blogger and writer. She tweets from @missyasin

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

Why? I think because sex outside of marriage (such as in Muslim countries) is forbidden. Men have to "save up" money and assets to be able to afford to propelry take care of a wife and family financially and that often takes them to their late 20s early 30s before they are "set"....that's a LONNNNNNNNNG time without sex in any man's world LOL Of course, not all unmarried men do this, but I am sure most do in Muslim countries and any country in general. Look at the sexually free US-they can get it on anytime and still turn to porn...ha!

Edited May 31, 2012 by ErikaAndHamit

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

The easiest (and private) outlet is going to be internet porn. Additionally, these boys in their teens stay fascinated much like a virgin teenager would be until they actually have sex...what American teenage boy hasn't googled "sex"...difference is, in the US boys eventually satisfy that curiosity much sooner than their Muslim counterparts...hence the "sex Googling" is gonna be going on for much longer time in those countries for these boys/men until they are married and think it's a free for all LOLOLOL

Edited May 31, 2012 by ErikaAndHamit

[sandinista! 1,816]

what i want to know is where does the non-muslim obsession with muslims' sex lives come from?

there are lots of people right here in the us who have similar cultural/religious guidelines regarding sexual behavior. but it doesn't spark nearly as much interest or speculation. why is that?

[Nasturtium 500]

Uh-oh, Muslim sex!

Bow-chicka-bow-waw naughty!

Let's pronounce takfir.

what i want to know is where does the non-muslim obsession with muslims' sex lives come from?

there are lots of people right here in the us who have similar cultural/religious guidelines regarding sexual behavior. but it doesn't spark nearly as much interest or speculation. why is that?

Pentecostal sex

floor-length skirts, bouffant hairdos

Scrub your mind's eye now.

[NY_BX 397]

Uh-oh, Muslim sex!

Bow-chicka-bow-waw naughty!

Let's pronounce takfir.

Pentecostal sex

floor-length skirts, bouffant hairdos

Scrub your mind's eye now.

LOVE IT!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

what i want to know is where does the non-muslim obsession with muslims' sex lives come from?

there are lots of people right here in the us who have similar cultural/religious guidelines regarding sexual behavior. but it doesn't spark nearly as much interest or speculation. why is that?

agreed....

agreed...or non muslims obsession as to why you hooked up with a muslim..I had one 75 year old ask me if I liked hot swarthy men...mortified

[NY_BX 397]

what i want to know is where does the non-muslim obsession with muslims' sex lives come from?

there are lots of people right here in the us who have similar cultural/religious guidelines regarding sexual behavior. but it doesn't spark nearly as much interest or speculation. why is that?

Although I ask myself the same question, I don't necessarily believe the speculation/ curiosity argument is entirely true. I think muslim counterparts, and other culture/ religions for that matter, may be as curious of anyone's sexual behavior. Hence, the google uprise in sex searches. I'm sure those looking for sex education in the internet aren't typing "muslim's sex" in the google bar....

That said, I do agree with you in the speculation. Why should anyone care? Sexuality is very important, but it's a biological need to unify; not to judge.

[sandinista! 1,816]

so you completely disagree with the author of the piece when she states that

This isn't just about a fascination with the perversions of nutty and misogynistic spiritual leaders —- it is also deeply tied to an age old obsession with taking a peek into the harem, and attempting to understand whether or not Muslim women are, in fact, oppressed. The secret sex lives of barbaric Muslim men and their oppressed wives is not a relic of a Colonial past, but still something that continues to enthrall us today. In 2008, Naomi Wolf wrote about the secret world "behind the veil", where she gave a glance into the supposed secret sexual lives of Muslim women. After interviewing Muslim women in a couple of countries, Wolf gushes about an exotic and tantalising world of Muslim women —- who also enjoy beauty products and sex. Shocker.

Wolf also decides that based on conversations with women in vastly different countries, all Muslim women find sexual liberation through the hijab. Muslim women are spoken about, analyzed, but never given the space to answer for themselves, rather than acting as a spokesperson for all Muslims. Wolf isn't the only one to evoke this image: there was Sex and the City 2, and our endless fascination with Muslim women and lingerie.

??

[james&olya 1,121]

It never even occurred to me to wonder about Muslims and sex!!

[PMartin37 161]

so you completely disagree with the author of the piece when she states that

??

I have to admit that Sex and the City is one of my favorite all time tv shows. I loved it (Sex and the City movie pt 2) when Samantha was circled by all those men with her condoms on the ground around her. Hilarious! The muslimahs got a good chuckle out of it too.

I'm not sure if they were more shocked at what she had in her purse or the fact that she wasn't ashamed of it. I think in many religions... (I was formerly Catholic) there is a tendency to inject shame about sexuality to dissuade people from having sex. The internal shame is what drives people to the internet where everything and everyone is anonymous. So it's not surprising to me to find this. I would think its the perfect outlet when shame is the MO for keeping people from having something that seems natural as human beings- ESPECIALLY men.

[NY_BX 397]

so you completely disagree with the author of the piece when she states that

??

In 2008, Naomi Wolf wrote about the secret world "behind the veil", where she gave a glance into the supposed secret sexual lives of Muslim women. After interviewing Muslim women in a couple of countries, Wolf gushes about an exotic and tantalising world of Muslim women —- who also enjoy beauty products and sex. Shocker.

No I don't. People are curious about the stereotypes, only to find out, well, the above quote.

We all have sexual desires and we shouldn't be ashamed of it.

[NY_BX 397]

I have to admit that Sex and the City is one of my favorite all time tv shows. I loved it (Sex and the City movie pt 2) when Samantha was circled by all those men with her condoms on the ground around her. Hilarious! The muslimahs got a good chuckle out of it too.

I'm not sure if they were more shocked at what she had in her purse or the fact that she wasn't ashamed of it. I think in many religions... (I was formerly Catholic) there is a tendency to inject shame about sexuality to dissuade people from having sex. The internal shame is what drives people to the internet where everything and everyone is anonymous. So it's not surprising to me to find this. I would think its the perfect outlet when shame is the MO for keeping people from having something that seems natural as human beings- ESPECIALLY men.

YES! I never understood what the big deal is. Why something so personal and natural is a symbol of character? Who cares if you're experienced or not. Sex is a biological need to unify, not to judge...... or punish for that matter.

[msheesha 548]

What makes sex and the use/appreciation of beauty products by Muslim women so exotic and tantalizing? I think that's the question. Unfortunaelty I think it highlights the extreme "otherness" and unrelatedness many people feel towards Muslim women. Being fascinated that Muslim women use beauty products and have sex is pretty lame in my book. Labelling it exotic and tantalizing is just bizarre - anyone who finds that fact that Muslimahs have sex or use beauty products must have concluded before this discovery that they did not. This assumption is what leads to the surprise and fascination. Again, I think it all highlights a disturbing generalization/assumption to begin with.

Sorry for typos, etc - iPhone typing always results in typos for me.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

What makes sex and the use/appreciation of beauty products by Muslim women so exotic and tantalizing? I think that's the question. Unfortunaelty I think it highlights the extreme "otherness" and unrelatedness many people feel towards Muslim women. Being fascinated that Muslim women use beauty products and have sex is pretty lame in my book. Labelling it exotic and tantalizing is just bizarre - anyone who finds that fact that Muslimahs have sex or use beauty products must have concluded before this discovery that they did not. This assumption is what leads to the surprise and fascination. Again, I think it all highlights a disturbing generalization/assumption to begin with.

Sorry for typos, etc - iPhone typing always results in typos for me.

To be honest with you, the women I know in Oran do their hair more frequently ( every week after they get out of the hamam, its like 5 bucks. They frequently go to weddings where almost everyone wears tasteful make up and those weddings are almost weekly with dancing and music in the street, they go get body scrubs, they buy cosmetics. Some wear hijab but its far from everyone and not everyone walks around talking about islam all the time.

I think there is a huge misconception by a lot of western people in general about mena in general. It was really surprising to me when I spent a lot of time there to see that many of the women there take much better care of themselves, hair skin everything than most american women I know. They obviously are having sex because look at how many kids there are LOL and they love their husbands.. I take terrible offense at this whole american idea that all of them are unhappy or unmakeuped or unkempt or whatever. HOWEVER in saudi arabia and some other stricter places, you have to admit, women arent treated very nicely, cannot wear makeup or even nail polish if they want or decide what degree they want to practice their religion. I was in UAE and the only place I saw women that were mena that didnt look opressed were in the wealthier areas. I dont think we can make generalizations about muslim women to other other direction either because some have a very hard time where they live and battle every day to equal access to education, right to work, to drive etc.

I personally thought that a lot of the moroccan and algerian and tunisian women I met took excellent care of themselves and honestly with the cost of a beauty shop visit,like 2 to 5 bucks, I wouldnt mind going over there and getting my hair done every single day and getting my make up done. My skin looked better over there than it ever did over here ( I LOVE HAMAM) and I just think a lot of american and western women who marry and visit there have an over inflated opinion of western beauty and its perception...including sexuality as well. Hasni sings ZARGA mon amor not barbie mon amor ( just kidding.. zarga means dark girl)