Just needing to vent

[memlaura 60]

I don’t really need any answers just wanted to talk to people who would understand where I am coming from. I am going so crazy right now. My poor husband is going thru such hard times right now and I can’t get there to be with him. On Sunday morning (Nigeria time) he was notified that his Grandmother passed away. This is the woman that raised him from the time he was 2 years old until he was 15 years old. She was so important to him. He has been having so many issues lately from his father in the hospital to simple things like his generator breaking down or his car timing belt going. He just got his car back from his mechanic today and he was on his way to the place they were having the wake for his grandmother and someone hit his car and now it is back at the mechanics because the car can’t be driven. He is feeling so down with all that has been happening and I can’t get there until September. I can’t even describe the feelings I am having right now just wanting to be with him but I know that everyone here would understand the feelings. It is good to have all of you to know that there are people out there that not only understand but are going thru the same thing. Please say a prayer for my husband to help him get thru this. The loss of his Grandmother has devastated him.

[Big Baby 11]

Hang in there. It is hard not being physically present to help comfort our loved ones. My fiancee in China had her ex-husband confiscate her computer and cell phone so she couldn't even get a message out to me to explain. Also, the visa process was very dehumanizing, and I did not have the money to travel there and sit with her at the Embassy. However, after it was approved, and then yanked back and placed on AP, I ended up flying over there anyway. But your husband knows that you care deeply. You are his light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong for him. I am not a deeply religious person, but over the past 10 months of waiting, I have asked many people to pray for my fiancee to have strength to endure. I will pray for your husband also.

[patient2010 93]

i pray that things turn around for him.....

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

It seems like such a stream of events. Hopefully he isn't asking you to pay for these or I would have to throw out the scammer word. Life can be difficult in Nigeria , with the broken roads and medical care for most not being the best. All things shall pass and resolve in time.

[memlaura 60]

No he isnt asking me to pay for these things his family is having him pay for their expenses. But what is sad is in a "normal" marriage no one would ask that question or accuse a spouse of scamming if they had financial issues you would expect they would support each other. The fact that he is having so many things all at one time is exactly why I was asking for some prayers for him from people who would understand.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

We understand and that is why we ask gently about such. Too often we see people pass through here head over heels in love and being scammed to the hilt. While we assist people there is also the need to protect to try to improve the image of the country. Sad but true , over half the Nigerian marriages end in divorce and many of those will see the USC back here saying they were scammed. ( so much easier than accepting responsibility for a bad marriage)

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

I don’t really need any answers just wanted to talk to people who would understand where I am coming from. I am going so crazy right now. My poor husband is going thru such hard times right now and I can’t get there to be with him. On Sunday morning (Nigeria time) he was notified that his Grandmother passed away. This is the woman that raised him from the time he was 2 years old until he was 15 years old. She was so important to him. He has been having so many issues lately from his father in the hospital to simple things like his generator breaking down or his car timing belt going. He just got his car back from his mechanic today and he was on his way to the place they were having the wake for his grandmother and someone hit his car and now it is back at the mechanics because the car can’t be driven. He is feeling so down with all that has been happening and I can’t get there until September. I can’t even describe the feelings I am having right now just wanting to be with him but I know that everyone here would understand the feelings. It is good to have all of you to know that there are people out there that not only understand but are going thru the same thing. Please say a prayer for my husband to help him get thru this. The loss of his Grandmother has devastated him.

Your Husband will be fine, he's a Nigerian Male. God adds an extra dash of "toughness" when he makes us.

While these things seems alarming, they are normal day to day stuff in Nigeria (obvously not the Grandma part).

One thing to keep in mind, even though you're not there, he's sorrounded by extended family. Something he'll lack here in the US.

He'll be okay.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

No he isnt asking me to pay for these things his family is having him pay for their expenses. But what is sad is in a "normal" marriage no one would ask that question or accuse a spouse of scamming if they had financial issues you would expect they would support each other. The fact that he is having so many things all at one time is exactly why I was asking for some prayers for him from people who would understand.

Madam, I mean no disrespect but you also wanted to cancel your petition for him just a few weeks ago. One of the benefits of being in a community is that we watch out for each other. "It takes a village to raise a child" kind of a thing.

Financial issues are "Très commun" in Nigeria.

[chikings 27]

Wow a lot gonna on. I pray for your strength to keep your husband encourage and also to him and his family during this transition.

Peace,

Chi

[memlaura 60]

Madam, I mean no disrespect but you also wanted to cancel your petition for him just a few weeks ago. One of the benefits of being in a community is that we watch out for each other. "It takes a village to raise a child" kind of a thing.

Financial issues are "Très commun" in Nigeria.

Your absolutely right I did want to cancel but I also never said it was because he was scamming it was just the stress and arguing that happens in a long distance relationship and that we are both very stubborn people. But he is a good man and if our marriage doesnt work I would not be coming here to say anything bad about him I am all grown up and I know that everything happens for a reason. Love is about taking a chance on someone sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt... And as far as extended family he does have that here on my side my children, sister, brother, mother and grandchildren, have accepted him in the family my 6 year old granddaughter and him push me off the computer so they can talk. And yes I was short on the comment I do tend to get defensive when it comes to him and people saying things about him. But I appreciate the honesty behind it.