ME/NA marriages

[chiquita 0]

I voted "as expected" since I did expect him to adjust quite easily based on his own words.

DH has been here 2 months now and he has drivers license, green card, soc sec card, a bank account, a job (and more jobs apps put in), his teeth worked on (a lot) and is in school. Wow, that is a lot I see! He talks to his family often which I am sure helps with missing them. His brother who is a in the Neatherlands plans on coming to visit next year. How exciting that will be! I hope his mother and father can come too!

The biggest issue for him was trying to understand the "fast talking" English here. DH speaks excellent English but needs to get used to hearing it on a regular basis. He is having so much fun at work. The men he is working with are teaching him some funny slang. When I hear him say something such as "###### on a shingle" I ask him where did he hear that? Of course from the guys at work. I do let him know this is not words he wants to use in public!

We were talking this morning and he said he wants another job to go to when he gets off work at 7am. I did mention that we need another car for this since we live in the "boonies" and I was sure he did not want to the city. He wants a small car good on gas. I was thinking more of a truck. Oh well.

So goes our life, easy, great and taking each day at a time.

chi

[anxious 0]

That's such a beautiful ending to a long struggle...and I know you are thrilled

not to hear the words "casa embassy" ever! lol.

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I voted ... more difficult then expected... just because it seems that every day is constant struggle... I think a lot of it has to do with his expectations not being fulfilled and the difficulty with language...I so hope that it will get better...I want to make it work and I know that he does too but there are days that things are just so hard...

Dorothy

[amal 4]

Well since being I have had to adjust myself in alot of ways..but it was well worth it. I do worry since my husband has only been in Algerie and Maroc that when he comes to Europe or the USA...more so the USA it will be strange for him. I think he will enjoy alot of things like, Best Buy, hundreds of TV channels, diverse mix of people, gaining info and experience in his field...but I do worry he will feel lost, bored and somehwat resentful that he won't be the little king he is here...can anyone relate to this?

yeah, I can totally relate to that Henia..Mine was very very proud there and it has been hard to be knocked so far from the horse ... each day is a new surprise...will we get thru it without any fallings-out...

amal

[hurriya 0]

A little different for me as I made the move to be with him. Although, I must say I feel that the adjustment has only been difficult because we are living with his family right now. There is SO much truth to the saying "Too many cooks spoil the broth".

I'm sure many of you are aware of the 'sons are kings' ideology from which many of our men derived. Well, I do cater to him to an extent but not because it is expected or in order to put him on a pedestal. I just like to show him appreciation and affection, but it seems to his family I don't cater to him enough. He doesn't complain and says he is glad that I am independent and that I am not a woman whose whole life revolves around her husband. But OH the family is hot under the collar when I don't bend to his every whim! It amazes me sometimes the looks and under breath comments that I hear from mom and sisters regarding my "lack of concern for him" by the way, I am still playing the dumb American so they are unaware how much Arabic I understand. When I talk to my husband about it later he is livid. But I had similar results with my late husband's mother, too. It seemed I could never quite do things up to her standard. Needless to say, we are counting the days until the end of Ramadan when we will go to Rabat to find an apartment.

[sarachid 0]

I voted better than expected..... because everything in my life has gotten better since Rachid came here... besides the AOS & EAD the only thing we are waiting for is to get pregnant

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I have so say.... better than I ever dreamed !

I expected a lot more difficulties as he made the transition to a new country, new culture, new customs, all kinds of new things. I was braced for the worst. But Mahmoud has come through like a soldier. I'm not saying everything is perfect -- sure, he had his "moments" of depression, homesickness, frustration with different things -- but overall, he's done great. I am so very proud of him !

Ladies (and gentlemen) -- don't forget to give that extra dose of understanding and compassion when your SO goes through these "periods." As you know, it's a very stressful experience to move to another country and be away from your support group of family and friends -- people you've depended on all your life. Not everyone adjusts in the same way. It's easy to get impatient or frustrated ourselves. Sure we're going through an adjustment when they arrive, but they're facing a much more difficult transition. What was that thing Jean said ?? Remember to stop and count to 20 before "letting them have it." Great advice !

-MK

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

I have so say.... better than I ever dreamed !

I expected a lot more difficulties as he made the transition to a new country, new culture, new customs, all kinds of new things. I was braced for the worst. But Mahmoud has come through like a soldier. I'm not saying everything is perfect -- sure, he had his "moments" of depression, homesickness, frustration with different things -- but overall, he's done great. I am so very proud of him !

Ladies (and gentlemen) -- don't forget to give that extra dose of understanding and compassion when your SO goes through these "periods." As you know, it's a very stressful experience to move to another country and be away from your support group of family and friends -- people you've depended on all your life. Not everyone adjusts in the same way. It's easy to get impatient or frustrated ourselves. Sure we're going through an adjustment when they arrive, but they're facing a much more difficult transition. What was that thing Jean said ?? Remember to stop and count to 20 before "letting them have it." Great advice !

-MK

Thank you for sharing your & Jean's words of wisdom....I so need to start practicing....

Dorothy