Did I Overreact?

[Diana and Chris 25]

I'm pregnant and hormones could of had something to do with it, but I honestly do not think it, even after hours of it happening. And sorry for the length.

Early this morning I went to the SSN office to have my Social changed to my married name, no problem what so ever there. They just asked for my Green card and that was it.

After that, because of my husbands job, we went apartment hunting to a new city. At the one we were applying to, everything seemed fine. They asked for my social security and my greencard, which have different last names (I applied for the new one just today). Then is when the fishy stuff started happening, they gave me this form to sign where I had to place if I had any USCIS pending process, what number it was and when. I told them I had nothing pending with the USCIS since I had my greencard with me. The lady said I just had to choose one and sign. To this point she randomly chose one without even looking and told me to sign. I said "NO. I will not sign this, I know which one I applied for, but I have nothing pending. I have my green card in hand and will not sign anything." She called her colleague to help her out, she told her she thought I was right and should not sign anything, but the other lady was BEYOND RUDE! She looked at my papers and at me in such a condescending way and said: "This SSN is no good, it's no good, she doesn't even show a passport here" and she asked without looking at me: "Your passport?". I said I had a passport but I did not see the need of showing it if I had a green card with me. She then started getting annoyed and asked me if I had a TX ID, and I replied I did not. She asked me this several times... and asked me in the most rude way why not and when I was to get one. I told her I was going to soon, but that I was not under any law pressured to get one. She then looked at me in the most condescending way and asked me by just pointing the finger at my SSN: "IS THIS EVEN YOURS?" I asked her: "Why would I carry with me somebody else's SSN, that's Illegal!!!!!" and she answered: "Well, A LOT OF PEOPLE DO IT?" In the most sarcastic tone, without looking at me! I then said: BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE DO IT DOESN'T MEAN I DO IT! And stamped my letter from the Social Security office that CONFIRMED the social security was mine, and the OTHER letter showing them that I had a just requested a change of name on my social security number to my married name to the table (I had them with me because, again, I had gone to the office that same day). and told her while I was shaking in rage: I CAN SUE YOU FOR ASKING ME SUCH A QUESTION!(I don't even know if I can or not, but I felt so judged, I felt like somebody was accusing me from stealing, from being a criminal, I had never felt that way before!) She then startled at my reply and walked away to call her manager. But that time I was ready to walk out the door, I didn't want to be there anymore. The manager came back and said her agents had a job to know if there was somebody being illegal there, because they couldn't accept them (Is it even possible for them to be making such distinctions? Isn't that HLS's job?). I told her again that they couldn't make such accusations so fast and ask things like that to people. She then told me that they needed some type of ID that showed my maiden name with my picture on it. I then took out my passport and told her: "If that other lady had just said that, I would of gladly taken it out, but she INSULTED me first without really explaining what you needed. I would never ask you if the car you are using is yours or stolen, that would be an insult towards you. I am no fraud, I have papers and that should be sufficient." She didn't really seem to see any error on what her agent had done or asked me (but she did call her into her office and closed the door), though the one that had originally worked our case was saying sorry with her lips, in a silent way. After they were in the office she said she was sure she was in there because it wasn't the first time she had treated people that way. She said I had not over reacted at all and that she was even very shocked at the way she had asked me something like that, but I still feel like I need to know what my rights are.

Can anybody anywhere ask you stuff like that over your SSN? Was I wrong to react this way? Will I be subject to scrutinizing reactions every time to see if I'm legal or not? Should I just learn how to deal with it? Is it normal?

Thank you for your inputs, sorry for the grammar, orthographic mistakes, and length of the post.

Diana

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I don't think you overreacted. This is not normal treatment. TX I suppose.

[Pabe 2]

I hope someone can answer your question about how legal it is to ask such papers... but I don´t think you overreacted at all. I would have been very insulted by this as well. The country where I come from I am not used been doubted about everything like I often feel over here. Unfortunately quite often in Us I feel like I´m treated as a criminal even when I have not done anything, or that I first have to prove that I´m not a criminal before I get treated well. The culture is just different.

[Tinchen_ 21]

hi diana and wow..

im sorry you had go thru this.. what a bad experience and how rude..

with the law it depends on the state u in. for example arizona has a very strict immigration law and texas, georgia and florida going to pick it up soon as well. there are some new laws and some are debated in congress right now. for example the police can hold u for several hours now until they made sure u legal in the country.

with ur ssn be careful with it cuz there are so many identity frauds out there. but i heard from a lot of ppl that texas is weird and strict with their laws for immigrants . i have some bad experience here in florida as well, ppl just simple dont like me cuz im an immigrant , and others are really nice . i personally tell them with a smile and a strict tone whats up and put them in their place. .

dont let these haters get to you. hope u have soon a better expierence

maybe that woman was a strict rick perry believer lol hahahaha :rofl:

[Diana and Chris 25]

It's, to a point, reassuring to know I didn't overreact. I have a strong feeling that I would defend myself and my legal status anytime anywhere now, although it is a hard reality that I have encountered today. I will not be completely from here, not for a very long time that is. Not even my husband will understand how that feels, to have to proof yourself while just wanting to live and be with him. That was my first and primary reason to be here, and so long it has been the only one.

[DandT14 272]

You didn't overreact. In my opinion, (and I know a little something about the subject), they are in violation of federal fair housing laws. Unless of course they treat every person who walks in there the same and ask the same questions and request the same documents, which I seriously doubt.

If one of my employees treated someone that way, they wouldn't get the opportunity to do it a second time.

Try not to let it stress you out. Idiots are everywhere.

[Diana and Chris 25]

You didn't overreact. In my opinion, (and I know a little something about the subject), they are in violation of federal fair housing laws. Unless of course they treat every person who walks in there the same and ask the same questions and request the same documents, which I seriously doubt.

If one of my employees treated someone that way, they wouldn't get the opportunity to do it a second time.

Try not to let it stress you out. Idiots are everywhere.

Yes, I even thought that myself, the examples are so clear and they were there side by side. My husband and I were treated in such a different way, they did not even second guess his paperwork, not for a second. I even thought in the car, SO MUCH FOR YOU EQUAL HOUSING! Treat foreigners like criminals! But I was beyond myself by then, haha.

[engineer21 51]

Sorry to hear this!

Not sure if it is against the law or not, but human beings should not be allowed to treat another human being this way!

There is a civil and polite way to check that everything is valid.

Just like you said in your story how the manager ended up explaining that what was needed was simply another picture ID with maiden name to confirm the Social.

There was ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for her to accuse you of carrying a Social that is not yours!

Banks and other institutions have asked me for an extra ID to prove that I am who I say I am.

But never EVER have I been asked if the ID or social or whatever document I showed them was someone else's

That is beyond RUDE!

[Diana and Chris 25]

Sorry to hear this!

Not sure if it is against the law or not, but human beings should not be allowed to treat another human being this way!

There is a civil and polite way to check that everything is valid.

Just like you said in your story how the manager ended up explaining that what was needed was simply another picture ID with maiden name to confirm the Social.

There was ABSOLUTELY NO NEED for her to accuse you of carrying a Social that is not yours!

Banks and other institutions have asked me for an extra ID to prove that I am who I say I am.

But never EVER have I been asked if the ID or social or whatever document I showed them was someone else's

That is beyond RUDE!

Yes, I just needed a logic reason to take my passport out. It's funny, I opened an account with my husband this tuesday and all they asked for was two valid IDs, I guess one to reason the other. No problems, no issues, I was treated so well. I guess there are just rude people in the world that have a need to condescend people to fill their insecure selves.

[WrightFamily 34]

Please don't move to this Apartment complex!!!!

You weren't overreacting!

Here in Texas Illegal Immigration is at a all-time high and Apartment complex's and Employers are forced by the state to E-verify and ask immigration status questions to avoid a fine if there's no SOS Number. The first lady was wrong for not asking you politely for your Passport and Green Card!

Edited May 25, 2012 by WrightFamily

[Diana and Chris 25]

I don't think you overreacted. This is not normal treatment. TX I suppose.

I know I wouldn't treat anybody that way. Yes, TX.

[Diana and Chris 25]

Please don't move to this Apartment complex!!!!

You weren't overreacting!

Here in Texas Illegal Immigration is at a all-time high and Apartment complex's and Employers are forced by the state to E-verify and ask immigration status questions to avoid a fine if there's no SOS Number. The first lady was wrong for not asking you politely for your Passport and Green Card!

Ok, that seams reasonable, they must first verify. But can they ask if a SSN is yours in a verbal way?

[WrightFamily 34]

Ok, that seams reasonable, they must first verify. But can they ask if a SSN is yours in a verbal way?

"Good Question"!

I really think this person just had a chip on her shoulder and what makes it worse is when she gets her co-workers back her up!! I'm sure you don't want to live here!

Come to AUSTIN, Texas its more diverse

Edited May 25, 2012 by WrightFamily

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Ok, that seams reasonable, they must first verify. But can they ask if a SSN is yours in a verbal way?

I sincerely doubt it! What are you going to say? No? I mean really! There is no rational reason for asking you. If it WASN'T yours (I'm not saying it wasn't, just for example) you wouldn't admit it anyway so there would be no point in asking the question except to insult you. As your own example, it would be like asking someone if the car they're driving is yours, if their hair is really theirs, if their clothes, credit cards... you name it.. was really theirs. It's implying you're a liar and a cheat. Not good.

[Hypnos 6,576]

Interesting that you should mentioned that this happened in Texas. I have noticed similar issues, but not on the same scale as your story (and in my opinion you acted entirely properly).

In many ways it helps that I am a young(ish) white male, you can't really tell that I'm a foreigner until I open my mouth. Either way, some people just believe that they are better than you, that they are somehow superior and that you are guilty until proven innocent.

If what happened to you happened to me, I would be making a formal complaint to whatever state agency regulates their particular industry and make as much noise as I could about it. Over the years I have been on the receiving end of nonsense, sometimes being related to my being an immigrant (but usually just silly people being silly because they could) and I have got my satisfaction by complaining up the chain until I am content.

Just be safe in the knowledge that most people are fine and you will have no issues with them, but you will run into morons infrequently. Know how to counter them and life will be much easier (and satisfying!).

Edited May 25, 2012 by Hypnos