Wife wants to kick me out of US and also asked me to leave the apartment

[Selim Khan 0]

So why don't you just return to your home country ?

Well, thats the last option. Here is my reasons:

1. I have a good job here. Though its in jeopardy, I can easily get another one.

2. I have almost no savings. I could manage air fares, leave with a small amount which may not adequate to settle back in my home country

3. I sold everything back there in my home country, my small apartment I bought before my marriage took place and furniture, everything to accommodate the cost of coming here and bought lots of gifts for my in-laws as well as my wife which also includes typical house hold stuffs.

4. Last and the most important is I will be humiliated socially back there and so, my parents. Our society is quite reserve and divorce isn't something they praise. I have a unmarried sister, finding a decent match for her will be difficult.

I am sorry but my grounds may seems selfish. Going back to my home country is really my last option.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Well, thats the last option. Here is my reasons:

1. I have a good job here. Though its in jeopardy, I can easily get another one.

2. I have almost no savings. I could manage air fares, leave with a small amount which may not adequate to settle back in my home country

3. I sold everything back there in my home country, my small apartment I bought before my marriage took place and furniture, everything to accommodate the cost of coming here and bought lots of gifts for my in-laws as well as my wife which also includes typical house hold stuffs.

4. Last and the most important is I will be humiliated socially back there and so, my parents. Our society is quite reserve and divorce isn't something they praise. I have a unmarried sister, finding a decent match for her will be difficult.

I am sorry but my grounds may seems selfish. Going back to my home country is really my last option.

Also true for Nigeria.

[bvpshenvalley2 1]

You mentioned consequences and shame if you went back to your home country--isn't that the same for her. I think you can stay in the US if you separate/divorce her (I think it is Removal of Conditions--correct me if I am wrong). You may be able to find an American woman here also. Maybe you should call your parents and discuss the option of divorcing your wife, staying in the US and remarrying. Then calmly (like you are the winner and she is the loser) have a conversation with your wife regarding the consequences for her if you two were to be divorced. Hopefully she comes around.

Marriage is a difficult dance. Sometimes it works, but only if two people love each other and two people work on the marriage. From what you describe, only one person is working on it. If she is like this now, imagine what kind of mother she will be.

[XPRSURSLF 0]

Talk to her parents, best friends your best friends family friends etc. Since it is an arranged marriage involve as many people around your and her side of the family if they are in US and try to find if some sort of intervention will help save your marriage....

[Just Trying 0]

Hello Mr. Khan,

Please get out of the house while you can. Even if you want to maintain the relationship as of now what you need is a break from the negative cycle. The cycle is psychological feeling bad, saying negative words, hearing negative words, shouting, saying sorry and then repeat.

Believe me I have been in same situation and some distance between you and your wife for some time will do you good. If you and your wife can get your feelings back after some time then reconciliation is possible otherwise you will know if this relationship can go forward or not.

Legally as other people said gather all document s and your current list of documents you have seems good.

But get out as of now, rent a place near your office and stay there for at least 3 months. If you continue the negative cycle things will only become worse, somebody may get hurt, end up in jail or worse in hospital. I have been in all of these situations and I can tell you from experience that it will not solve till you take a break from negative cycle. Any solution needs calm mind.

[NYAMEYEODO 0]

Sorry for such a difficult time. Am not going to tell you what to do but i will handle it this way, Keep praying, dont stop.

I will try record every and any arguement we have for future ref. It sounds to me this will someday end up with the police

involved. the last thing you want as a green card holder is being charged with domestic violence.

Keep your cool. Never, never, never hit her.

Thats my two cents.

[JudyKCski 12]

Ah - so the WHOLE issue is that you send home money for your elderly parents? You mention you make more money than she does - dare I ask what she spends all her money on as you also mention you pay for the rent, utilities etc. Tell her right out that you are going to continue to send X $'s to your parents each month. I am having a really hard time trying to figure out where she is coming from. Is there something specific that she wants your extra money to go towards? (buy a house, car?) If yes perhaps you can make a concession that a portion of your extra money go into a savings account (your name only) and the rest to your family and she has her entire check to spend on what she wants to spend it on. If all she wants that money for is to spend on herself and throw it away then it would just show you yet again she can only think of herself. Does she ever have any plans on having children? I ask this only because she seems so self-centered that no one (even a child) would she be able to share the 'lime light' with.

[Selim Khan 0]

Ah - so the WHOLE issue is that you send home money for your elderly parents? You mention you make more money than she does - dare I ask what she spends all her money on as you also mention you pay for the rent, utilities etc. Tell her right out that you are going to continue to send X $'s to your parents each month. I am having a really hard time trying to figure out where she is coming from. Is there something specific that she wants your extra money to go towards? (buy a house, car?) If yes perhaps you can make a concession that a portion of your extra money go into a savings account (your name only) and the rest to your family and she has her entire check to spend on what she wants to spend it on. If all she wants that money for is to spend on herself and throw it away then it would just show you yet again she can only think of herself. Does she ever have any plans on having children? I ask this only because she seems so self-centered that no one (even a child) would she be able to share the 'lime light' with.

She gave me three options. Either have a child or buy her a house. I denied both. Having a child in our scenario, I am scared to think about our child's future. our disagreement certainly will impact our child. Buying a house at this moment isn't an option as we are on agreement with the landlord to stay here for a year.

I do not know what she does with her money except sometimes she bought small household stuffs or kitchen accessories and before i started the job, she bought me some cloths which is hardly $400. I did told her a fixed amount which I am supposed to send to my parents but as a matter of fact I still haven't sent a penny.

[quann 26]

imo this is a very biased view of just one side. alot of things OP say don't add up or make any sense. what woman would say give me a child while wanting a divorce? i'm not going to speculate your true motivations but you seem way too smart to be in this predicament.

[Selim Khan 0]

imo this is a very biased view of just one side. alot of things OP say don't add up or make any sense. what woman would say give me a child while wanting a divorce? i'm not going to speculate your true motivations but you seem way too smart to be in this predicament.

Please look at the sentences carefully. My apology if my english isn't adequate enough to understand. She gave me options, she did it before. The situation hasn't reached here in one day, neither all that I described. I am here to seek help, decent advices based on my situation. If you have any questions, please shoot. I will try my level best to answer them to make things crystal which I believe I menationed in my first post.

if you think of me as scam, I assure you I am not. If you don't like me reading the posts then perhaps you shouldn't waste time replying this which isn't helping anyone.

[Peter_Pan 661]

I know I wouldn't be ok if my husband HAD TO send OUR money to his parents.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

I know I wouldn't be ok if my husband HAD TO send OUR money to his parents.

Absolutely true and this is why I always will recommend separate finances from the start for couples.

After making my household contribution as agreed upon, BEFORE marriage, then the rest of my money, not ours, to spend as I see fit. I also do not suport stay at homes.

[Selim Khan 0]

I know I wouldn't be ok if my husband HAD TO send OUR money to his parents.

It isn't our money but mine. I am paying almost all the expenses and I wanted to send part of the rest to my family. Even after that I could easily pay for a car

[kzielu 1,149]

Please look at the sentences carefully. My apology if my english isn't adequate enough to understand. She gave me options, she did it before. The situation hasn't reached here in one day, neither all that I described. I am here to seek help, decent advices based on my situation. If you have any questions, please shoot. I will try my level best to answer them to make things crystal which I believe I menationed in my first post.

if you think of me as scam, I assure you I am not. If you don't like me reading the posts then perhaps you shouldn't waste time replying this which isn't helping anyone.

What help are you expecting ? You can either :

- try to work out your relationship (from what you are writing seems not really possible, but no one here is in the position to determine that)

- divorce and work out immigration issues based on divorce waiver

- go back to you home country which you don't want to do (just remember whole reason you have been allowed to come - as I was too - was to be with your wife).

Pick one of these and move on... Looks like you are financially independent.

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

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