How much did your expenses increase after your immigrant arrived?

[dwheels76 5,468]

OMG now i have to figure out a budget for two!! Hmmm well I always cook like I am feeding a large family so groceries shouldnt change just the frequency of when I cook (I guess my bachelorette style of cookies icr cream and salad won't do it).

I hate budgets. Is there an APP for that I can do for me? hehe

[afoyoswa 178]

OMG now i have to figure out a budget for two!! Hmmm well I always cook like I am feeding a large family so groceries shouldnt change just the frequency of when I cook (I guess my bachelorette style of cookies icr cream and salad won't do it).

I hate budgets. Is there an APP for that I can do for me? hehe

Haha, I'm with you there! I'm thinking I might have to give up on this whole concept of cereal for dinner. Too bad.

And I've heard a lot of people talk about using Mint.com: I'm thinking about trying it out. Seems to cut down on the potential confusion of tracking accounts in lots of different places, and also has budgeting tools. You can set up a joint account with another user, too.

[Brian121957 43]

Were the increased expenses after your fiance/spouse arrived pretty much what you had projected, or more/less? What were the unexpected costs?

Maybe you will have a savings on the Phone bill to make up other expenses.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Haha, I'm with you there! I'm thinking I might have to give up on this whole concept of cereal for dinner. Too bad.

And I've heard a lot of people talk about using Mint.com: I'm thinking about trying it out. Seems to cut down on the potential confusion of tracking accounts in lots of different places, and also has budgeting tools. You can set up a joint account with another user, too.

I use Mint on my iPhone to supplement my online banking, works well, even tracks my 401k and other investments so it gives me a total picture.

[Peter_Pan 661]

I hate becoming an extra expense.

[amyandjorge 76]

all good responses. I have found that living together (as married couple) is not as simple as doubling expenses. Married couple, especially just starting out, have way more expenses than I thought. Even when we lived together dating it seems like things were cheaper.

That said, you're not just a couple starting out. You are, but also a new immigrant establishing a new identity so to speak. We spent a lot on creature comforts, Latino things and places. Also, alot in communication at the beginning.

My grocery budget has not doubled, it tripled once he arrived. Besides the fact that he eats like a farm hand, we were eating out in restaurants a lot because who wants to spend time cooking and grocery shopping when you can snuggle your honey!

Not to mention the expense of looking for his job, taking him to interviews, searching, driving around.

And lastly, like peter pan said, a lot of extra time spent reassuring him that this is temporary, me taking care of his expenses. Once he is all set up he will be paying my bills!

[Caryh 5,206]

I hate becoming an extra expense.

My wife did to. She kept calling herself a burden. Even when she started working she was concerned she was a burden because she doesn't make anything close to what I do. I explained it works this way, I covered all expenses before she worked and we still had extra for going out and getting extras. Now everything she makes allows us more savings and more extras. Took a few pay checks but now she's no longer considering herself a burden.

[SuperDuper! 230]

One of the reasons my wife and I decided on the IR-1/CR-1 visa. It may not work out for everyone, but it's the path we chose.

What about the additional wedding expenses overseas? Reception party? Additional time spent overseas?

How did those numbers crunch for you compared to K1/AOS route?

[Mr. Borkström 63]

What about the additional wedding expenses overseas? Reception party? Additional time spent overseas?

How did those numbers crunch for you compared to K1/AOS route?

Hmm. We didn't really sit down

My wife first came to see me in Sweden in 2009 and she stayed for two weeks. I went to see her in the US in the summer of 2010, I was there for three weeks. Towards the end of my stay there we talked about the future. Later after I'd flown back home we decided we wanted to get married. So then it became a question of where and when. We figured what was right for us was for my wife to come here and for us to get married here in Sweden, and then apply for the CR-1/IR-1 visa. At the time when we made our decision it seemed like, although obtaining a CR-1/IR-1 visa may take longer, it's less of a hassle and not as costly - I would be a permanent resident automatically, get permission to work, wouldn't have to apply for anything except for removal of conditions after two years (if I understand things correctly). No adjustment of status = less time and $ spent on bureaucratic red tape. I take it K1 visa holders have to apply to have conditions removed after two years too. So I guess the shorter waiting time simply didn't have enough pro's in our book, so to speak. It felt like with a little extra time with the CR-1/IR-1 visa, we'd get the complete package sooner (sooner from a long term perspective). I don't know if that's correct or not, but that's what we were thinking at the time when we decided to file the papers. Know what I mean?

We also simply just want have ceremonies for both my family and for my wife's family, so the expense of a ceremony here in Sweden would not have been spared if we'd chosen the K1 visa. That would have just meant we would have done things in a different order, and my wife thought it was her turn to come here anyway - partly perhaps because I'm the one moving to her country and not her moving to my country. I think my wife feels she would have cheated my family if she hadn't come here one more time. If my family wouldn't have gotten a ceremony, my wife probably would have felt like she stole me away from them (as opposed to them giving me to her by way of the ceremony lol).

So my wife came here last summer, stayed for two weeks, and we got married. We didn't have a church wedding, as neither of us are religious. The civil ceremony offered by local town authorities in Västerås, Sweden are free of charge (although that was not the primary reason why we had a civil ceremony). Also we didn't spend a whole lot of money on our wedding, to be honest. Neither of us have a money tree in our back yard, so... We had the party in the back yard of my parents' house, where I grew up, different relatives contributed with food and such - we really had a wonderful time, my wedding day could not have been better. To me and my wife, that's what made our wedding day special - no one else sure as H3ll haven't had a wedding party in their back yard lol. Delicious food, family, friends, awesome weather, in the place where i grew up... it was wonderful. Really, I couldn't have asked for more. If we'd had a million dollars to spend, our wedding would not have been better. I truly believe that.

I will leave it up to other people to determine whether our thinking that our journey costs less/is smoother than a K1 visa would have been, but it seemed like it to us.

Edited May 25, 2012 by Mr. Borkström

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

We had the party in the back yard of my parents' house, where I grew up, different relatives contributed with food and such - we really had a wonderful time, my wedding day could not have been better. To me and my wife, that's what made our wedding day special - no one else sure as H3ll haven't had a wedding party in their back yard lol. Delicious food, family, friends, awesome weather, in the place where i grew up... it was wonderful. Really, I couldn't have asked for more. If we'd had a million dollars to spend, our wedding would not have been better. I truly believe that.

This is so wonderful.

Your wedding ceremony, to me, is a personal inspiration.

[Mr. Borkström 63]

This is so wonderful.

Your wedding ceremony, to me, is a personal inspiration.

The actual wedding ceremony was in Västerås City Hall. It was only the party afterwards that we had in my parents' yard.

But yeah, I really mean it when I say my wedding day had not been better if we'd spent a million dollars on it and had it at the fanciest hotel in the world. The way we did it, it was "us", you know?

And thank you for your kind words.

I'm actually getting a little teary-eyed now, thinking about it. It was without a shadow of a doubt the best day of my life.

[Xanax 349]

Hmm. We didn't really sit down

My wife first came to see me in Sweden in 2009 and she stayed for two weeks. I went to see her in the US in the summer of 2010, I was there for three weeks. Towards the end of my stay there we talked about the future. Later after I'd flown back home we decided we wanted to get married. So then it became a question of where and when. We figured what was right for us was for my wife to come here and for us to get married here in Sweden, and then apply for the CR-1/IR-1 visa. At the time when we made our decision it seemed like, although obtaining a CR-1/IR-1 visa may take longer, it's less of a hassle and not as costly - I would be a permanent resident automatically, get permission to work, wouldn't have to apply for anything except for removal of conditions after two years (if I understand things correctly). No adjustment of status = less time and $ spent on bureaucratic red tape. I take it K1 visa holders have to apply to have conditions removed after two years too. So I guess the shorter waiting time simply didn't have enough pro's in our book, so to speak. It felt like with a little extra time with the CR-1/IR-1 visa, we'd get the complete package sooner (sooner from a long term perspective). I don't know if that's correct or not, but that's what we were thinking at the time when we decided to file the papers. Know what I mean?

We also simply just want have ceremonies for both my family and for my wife's family, so the expense of a ceremony here in Sweden would not have been spared if we'd chosen the K1 visa. That would have just meant we would have done things in a different order, and my wife thought it was her turn to come here anyway - partly perhaps because I'm the one moving to her country and not her moving to my country. I think my wife feels she would have cheated my family if she hadn't come here one more time. If my family wouldn't have gotten a ceremony, my wife probably would have felt like she stole me away from them (as opposed to them giving me to her by way of the ceremony lol).

So my wife came here last summer, stayed for two weeks, and we got married. We didn't have a church wedding, as neither of us are religious. The civil ceremony offered by local town authorities in Västerås, Sweden are free of charge (although that was not the primary reason why we had a civil ceremony). Also we didn't spend a whole lot of money on our wedding, to be honest. Neither of us have a money tree in our back yard, so... We had the party in the back yard of my parents' house, where I grew up, different relatives contributed with food and such - we really had a wonderful time, my wedding day could not have been better. To me and my wife, that's what made our wedding day special - no one else sure as H3ll haven't had a wedding party in their back yard lol. Delicious food, family, friends, awesome weather, in the place where i grew up... it was wonderful. Really, I couldn't have asked for more. If we'd had a million dollars to spend, our wedding would not have been better. I truly believe that.

I will leave it up to other people to determine whether our thinking that our journey costs less/is smoother than a K1 visa would have been, but it seemed like it to us.

, but that is just so lovely, your story was a pleasure to read. Congratulations and good luck with your future together!

[Holly2234 66]

What about the additional wedding expenses overseas? Reception party? Additional time spent overseas?

How did those numbers crunch for you compared to K1/AOS route?

My situation is a little different to a lot because my husband came to live in the UK with me (We werent married then) because i was having our baby. We got married 3 months after his leave to remain was granted. Forgetting that part though, i would still have married him first rather than go for a K-1 mostly because of the cost and time thing. Its also important for me to get set up right away rather than have too many restrictions. The numbers were pretty good (forgetting the UK visa). We had a small wedding with just 4 people and dinner afterwards. Probably a total of $300 including clothes for us both. It didnt seem right to do more since none of my family wanted to come and my husbands couldnt be there and the day was ultimately supposed to be about us so nothing flashy was needed.

Back to the original thread!

I dont think i can remember a time our expenses were different! But food and bills go up and travel costs too. What will change for us though, will be the need for a car (and a licence for both of us) and insurance, health insurance for the 3 of us, cell phones since the plans tend to be cheaper here, new clothes for all 3 of us to suit New Yorks winters (and summers!). Not a lot else will change that hasnt already but after a while, its just completely normal and nobody will think twice about it once you adapt and live within your means.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

For me it was an increase in medical costs.

[Mr. Borkström 63]

, but that is just so lovely, your story was a pleasure to read. Congratulations and good luck with your future together!

Thank you.