Birth Control

[Holly2234 66]

I answered the original question with a logical answer. I dont believe in calling out the OP's husband. She is not screaming out "abusive relationship" therefore i wont assume. It appears merely to be a disagreement with what is best right now. There are two sides to every story and its extremely unlikely i will ever get to hear both. So i will give an unbiased solution to the problem she originally asked. I see the problem more being down to her husband not knowing the risks or need for medical attention in pregnancy, not because he wants to use her!

[Adriene H 89]

I appreciate all sides of the responses given so far! I really do!

I'm still relatively new to England, and don't have of friends

yet, much less close friends to bounce my day-to-day situations

off of .. like one might do over coffee with a best mate.

When my husband says stuff like I've posted previously,

regarding his views on cleanliness and organization, or

reproductive issues ... I've got to see if this is normal,

if I'm over reacting which I tend to do more often than not,

or if it's bizarre.

Maybe he's right .... his argument is that women gave birth

for 1000's of years before hospitals exsisted, so that should

be good enough for me (which baffles me because his 1st child

was born in a hospital...he has some prior experience with pregnancy).

Rather than a disagreement ... I view this more as some sort of

crossroads ... I don't know how to explain it really ...

[Dan and Judy 614]

I don't think the husband is evil. The problem is they disagree about important issues that really should have been dealt with before the "I do's".

These issues could actually be worked through if both parties were attempting to come to a reasonable compromise. Im sensing the husband

is not inclined towards working things through. Just not having sex is not going to help the relationship.

It is possible they are just not compatible.

[AmyWrites 593]

Tell him to use his hands. He should take responsibility for it since you can't afford other methods.

[aws&ndd 103]

Of course women can give birth without going to a hospital, but is it the best course of action? Using the argument that women have been doing that for thousands of years before hospitals existed is ludicrous--does his argument also include the number of women that died giving birth during that period of time? Or the number of women that have had complications with their pregnancy? Nowadays we have access to prenatal care so why not take advantage of it instead of doing things 'the old fashioned way' when we don't need to.

[Adriene H 89]

I don't think the husband is evil. The problem is they disagree about important issues that really should have been dealt with before the "I do's".

These issues could actually be worked through if both parties were attempting to come to a reasonable compromise. Im sensing the husband

is not inclined towards working things through. Just not having sex is not going to help the relationship.

It is possible they are just not compatible.

I've been starting to wonder this lately ...

Stuff has been really up in the air since we

got hitched ... We haven't put the effort into

building our 'sanctuary' because we didn't know

where we were going to be settling. Now that

I have a better idea of where that may be, the

lack of a sanctuary strikes some strong anxiety

in me. We have a twin bed and a loveseat as our

main furniture, and I can say 2 grown adults in 1

twin bed doesn't make for restful sleep. But I'm

hoping we have better luck getting me a visa here,

so I can start working and contributing financially

and focus on making conditions a bit more comfortable

and less temporary.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

.... his argument is that women gave birth

for 1000's of years before hospitals exsisted, so that should

be good enough for me

Does he understand that childbirth was perhaps the #1 cause of death for women for all those years, as well?

[Peter_Pan 661]

Maybe he's right .... his argument is that women gave birth

for 1000's of years before hospitals exsisted, so that should

be good enough for me (which baffles me because his 1st child

was born in a hospital...he has some prior experience with pregnancy).

What a douche! 1000 years ago 1 in 4 women died in childbirth. I am guessing that when he has a tooth ache he doesn't grab some tongs and removes the painful tooth? He takes medicine for headache, no?

So he gets to enjoy the benefits of modern medicine, yet you are supposed to give birth like in the Stone Age? #######!

[Penguin_ie 5,996]

**** several posts removed for name calling and personal attacks, or quoting same. Keep it civil please ***

Edited May 30, 2012 by Penguin_ie

[SMOKE 1,426]

And mostly ... I'm just plain scared!

My husband has told me several times that women

don't need to see a doctor when they're pregnant,

they don't need epidurals during labor, and don't

need to give birth in hospitals.

It's more than a little daunting!

tell him to try peeing a golf ball.

you realize you're holding all the cards here don't you?

[Adriene H 89]

tell him to try peeing a golf ball.

you realize you're holding all the cards here don't you?

I think so ... I think so

[SMOKE 1,426]

I think so ... I think so

trust me. you are.

if any man tells you he rules the roost, he's full of it. the boss in the bedroom is the boss in the rest of the house too.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I answered the original question with a logical answer. I dont believe in calling out the OP's husband. She is not screaming out "abusive relationship" therefore i wont assume. It appears merely to be a disagreement with what is best right now. There are two sides to every story and its extremely unlikely i will ever get to hear both. So i will give an unbiased solution to the problem she originally asked. I see the problem more being down to her husband not knowing the risks or need for medical attention in pregnancy, not because he wants to use her!

I am willing to make the assumption based on his actions alone. His side is not presented, however, whether or not it is case of ignorance or willful blindness, I hope that we both agree that the OP should not have to bear the brunt of it. I see the husband as a control freak and when such control leads to the physical, mental or emotional detriment of the OP then that IS abuse. Nothing I've read makes me think otherwise.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I appreciate all sides of the responses given so far! I really do!

I'm still relatively new to England, and don't have of friends

yet, much less close friends to bounce my day-to-day situations

off of .. like one might do over coffee with a best mate.

When my husband says stuff like I've posted previously,

regarding his views on cleanliness and organization, or

reproductive issues ... I've got to see if this is normal,

if I'm over reacting which I tend to do more often than not,

or if it's bizarre.

Maybe he's right .... his argument is that women gave birth

for 1000's of years before hospitals exsisted, so that should

be good enough for me (which baffles me because his 1st child

was born in a hospital...he has some prior experience with pregnancy).

Rather than a disagreement ... I view this more as some sort of

crossroads ... I don't know how to explain it really ...

Your husband has a penchant for rather novel arguments, too bad they are beyond troubling. It's not you, it's him that needs to face reality, I wonder what other antiquated notions are swirling around in that noggin of his.

[Dan and Judy 614]

I've been starting to wonder this lately ...

Stuff has been really up in the air since we

got hitched ... We haven't put the effort into

building our 'sanctuary' because we didn't know

where we were going to be settling. Now that

I have a better idea of where that may be, the

lack of a sanctuary strikes some strong anxiety

in me. We have a twin bed and a loveseat as our

main furniture, and I can say 2 grown adults in 1

twin bed doesn't make for restful sleep. But I'm

hoping we have better luck getting me a visa here,

so I can start working and contributing financially

and focus on making conditions a bit more comfortable

and less temporary.

Im confused, are a US citizen trying to bring him to the US?