Birth Control

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Try Implanon. I love mine. No complexion issues.

When I first took her to the womans clinic we showed her those ,she said no way. I will show her the birth control pill that helps acne.

[Captain Oates 911]

One word: IUD (well, that's technically an acronym, but close enough).

Never ask a partially deaf Afghan for an IUD

[Adriene H 89]

Had another talk with my husband last night, who shared with me that he 'doesn't like sex enough to bother using a condom'

He also has started telling me that I'm making him feel suicidal.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Had another talk with my husband last night, who shared with me that he 'doesn't like sex enough to bother using a condom'

He also has started telling me that I'm making him feel suicidal.

Must be his time of the month.

Perhaps he needs some medical assistance.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Had another talk with my husband last night, who shared with me that he 'doesn't like sex enough to bother using a condom'

He also has started telling me that I'm making him feel suicidal.

I think you really need to reconsider this relationship .. based on this post, the post about your living conditions, etc.

[Calypso 464]

You started this thread about two months ago and it seems that little has changed since then. Do you think it will get better through time?

If things stay the same and you don't like that then you gotta alter some parts of the equation. Wishing, hoping or taking chances is usually not enough. Do something.

[Adriene H 89]

I've started formulating a plan for a smooth return back to where I came from.

I'm hoping to avoid a quick pack-n-dash exit and the stress that would come

with that.

Putting myself on waiting lists for public housing/affordable apartments so

I can try and have a place to go once I touchdown at the airport.

I don't know how to explain the different levels of pain I felt when he said

he doesn't enjoy sex enough to wear anything. I feel ostracized for trying

to be responsible. I've been told I am evil and being disrespectful to my husband

when I try to talk to friends. They think I'm bashing him. I'm just trying to get

different perspectives and approaches, because I can see that the ones I'm

using Aren't Working. Nothing is working ...

Everyone has asked me 'Why don't you just talk to him?'

I have tried to talk. Over a year. He either tells me 'I'm sick

of pandering to your insecurities!' or 'These are Your issues! You Deal with them!'

We'll have terrible arguments. He acts all loving the next day.

I really can't think or talk about this stuff without crying and shaking,

and I know this isn't healthy, but I just don't know what to do anymore

So if there's anyone out there listening, please talk to me. Fear is clouding

my judgement on just about everything. I'm sorry

Edited July 21, 2012 by Adriene H

[Peter_Pan 661]

You are right, it is time to move on. Whatever you do, don't stay indoors in the time you have left over there, it will only depress you further. Go for a walk, go read in the public library, walk a neighbor's dog, just don't isolate yourself, that would only make you more depressed.

[Ban Hammer 13,551]

I've started formulating a plan for a smooth return back to where I came from.

I'm hoping to avoid a quick pack-n-dash exit and the stress that would come

with that.

Putting myself on waiting lists for public housing/affordable apartments so

I can try and have a place to go once I touchdown at the airport.

I don't know how to explain the different levels of pain I felt when he said

he doesn't enjoy sex enough to wear anything. I feel ostracized for trying

to be responsible. I've been told I am evil and being disrespectful to my husband

when I try to talk to friends. They think I'm bashing him. I'm just trying to get

different perspectives and approaches, because I can see that the ones I'm

using Aren't Working. Nothing is working ...

Everyone has asked me 'Why don't you just talk to him?'

I have tried to talk. Over a year. He either tells me 'I'm sick

of pandering to your insecurities!' or 'These are Your issues! You Deal with them!'

We'll have terrible arguments. He acts all loving the next day.

I really can't think or talk about this stuff without crying and shaking,

and I know this isn't healthy, but I just don't know what to do anymore

So if there's anyone out there listening, please talk to me. Fear is clouding

my judgement on just about everything. I'm sorry

it's not healthy - you are in a toxic environment. he has already filled his friend's ears full of negativity about you and that's why they are not sympathetic to your situation nor willing to offer any criticism of him to you - they too think you are the problem. he's not interested in resolution - he's stated over and over it's your problem, not his. he's not interested in making you happy at all.

you need to just get out of there, the sooner the better. i don't think it's a good idea to await a place to live if you have relatives or friends that can take you in at this time of need, because the longer you stay there awaiting for all these things to get in the right order things will just continue to stack up. you need to get out - now - for your own sanity.

peter pan has some good advice on getting out and doing something besides looking at the walls.

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

Fertility Awareness Method. It's free. I guess it costs the price of a basal thermometer.

http://www.fertaware...eness.html#faq4

http://www.fwhc.org/...control/fam.htm

Just be aware, despite following this method religiously for 5 years, and including condoms in the mix, we now have one precious son and another baby on the way. Fertility Awareness is great if your cycle is regular. But if yours is prone to changing due to stress and other factors like mine is, then you must be prepared that in using this method, you may find yourself expecting a child anyway. I've decided we're just incredibly fertile because I was fully aware of my fertility in my last cycle and we took every precaution, but even so, without any good explanation, we ended up pregnant a few months ahead of what we had planned.

Pregnancy is no disease, but it's not easy either. This pregnancy nearly jeopardized my job and therefore my family's ability to stay together in our present country. And carrying a child is a beautiful blessing that so many long for, but for some (like me) it takes a major toll on the body, including the 3 months of nausea and food aversions and inability to eat that I experienced, plus the regular challenges of exhaustion and other less-dramatic pregnancy complications, plus when you're in a low-income situation, it can be quite perilous. And in some countries and careers, employers are not so forgiving of pregnancy and would prefer to find a convenient way to get rid of a pregnant employee. We all want to provide at least an adequate environment for our child. We're fortunate that in both cases so far, we've been able to do so, but just one factor could easily have tipped us into a situation of being unable to pay for basic needs for the baby. If your situation isn't prepared in such a way that you could sustain a very needing and time-consuming little person, then do anything you can to get a strong and reliable method of birth control.

[GlobeHopperMama 95]

Also, somehow I missed the final pages of this thread, and i see now that you're dealing with a pretty problematic situation. An I-130 would have likely been approved, because inadmissibility does not come into play for that stage, but yeah, with a meth possession charge that led to deportation, he would not be eligible for a US visa so life outside the US, and likely just in the UK, would be your main long-term possibility. And it sounds like home life is quite toxic. I hope you can find a way to sort this out and find a much better life and future for yourself, and if you do want to have kids someday, I hope you can find someone much more caring to raise children with.

[GandK 168]

Had another talk with my husband last night, who shared with me that he 'doesn't like sex enough to bother using a condom'

He also has started telling me that I'm making him feel suicidal.

Is your husband a teenager? Because he surely acts and sounds like one.

Time to find a man in your life, maybe.

Edited July 22, 2012 by GandK

[Adriene H 89]

I'm grateful beyond words. Thank you for listening. Thank you for showing me that I'm not

being unreasonable in my desire to be responsible.

The biggest obstacle in my mind I think is the question of where I will go once I get back.

My closest relatives are aunts and cousins related to my step-father. I feel like I've

always been the black sheep of the family, but I have a friend who says she'll do whatever

she can to help me when I return. I don't want to ever overstay my welcome with her and her

family, and I was researching public/affordable housing in the area I used to live in the

other night. There were some with only a 2-3 month waiting list so I will be posting letters

asking to be placed on their lists.

I'm starting to notice that it's less painful thinking of a plan to get back, than it is

thinking of solutions to the issues I am facing. I feel like my husband's put up an

emotional/mental brick wall and I slammed into it @ 90 mph when he said what he said

about his lack of willingness to use protection during this phase in our lives where

we're barely able to support ourselves. I've never been very adept at spotting 'red flags'

in my personal relationships ... but this one just makes me a little sick inside.

Getting the pill hasn't been easy the past few years. I need to keep my blood pressure in

check with beta blockers and I'm 36. I'm a pretty highstrung woman and I could stand to lose

a few pounds and doctor's are wary of letting me use them anymore.

But his disregard towards my reprodutive wishes just leaves an emotional rock sitting in

my stomach that I'm unable to digest.

[spookyturtle 9,466]

I'm grateful beyond words. Thank you for listening. Thank you for showing me that I'm not

being unreasonable in my desire to be responsible.

The biggest obstacle in my mind I think is the question of where I will go once I get back.

My closest relatives are aunts and cousins related to my step-father. I feel like I've

always been the black sheep of the family, but I have a friend who says she'll do whatever

she can to help me when I return. I don't want to ever overstay my welcome with her and her

family, and I was researching public/affordable housing in the area I used to live in the

other night. There were some with only a 2-3 month waiting list so I will be posting letters

asking to be placed on their lists.

I'm starting to notice that it's less painful thinking of a plan to get back, than it is

thinking of solutions to the issues I am facing. I feel like my husband's put up an

emotional/mental brick wall and I slammed into it @ 90 mph when he said what he said

about his lack of willingness to use protection during this phase in our lives where

we're barely able to support ourselves. I've never been very adept at spotting 'red flags'

in my personal relationships ... but this one just makes me a little sick inside.

Getting the pill hasn't been easy the past few years. I need to keep my blood pressure in

check with beta blockers and I'm 36. I'm a pretty highstrung woman and I could stand to lose

a few pounds and doctor's are wary of letting me use them anymore.

But his disregard towards my reprodutive wishes just leaves an emotional rock sitting in

my stomach that I'm unable to digest.

I think that you are now realizing that birth control isn't really the problem. It's much more than that. It may be tough to go back home and start over, but one day in the near future you will be so glad and proud that you did. Imagine if you got pregnant with such a selfish man?

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I'm grateful beyond words. Thank you for listening. Thank you for showing me that I'm not

being unreasonable in my desire to be responsible.

The biggest obstacle in my mind I think is the question of where I will go once I get back.

My closest relatives are aunts and cousins related to my step-father. I feel like I've

always been the black sheep of the family, but I have a friend who says she'll do whatever

she can to help me when I return. I don't want to ever overstay my welcome with her and her

family, and I was researching public/affordable housing in the area I used to live in the

other night. There were some with only a 2-3 month waiting list so I will be posting letters

asking to be placed on their lists.

I'm starting to notice that it's less painful thinking of a plan to get back, than it is

thinking of solutions to the issues I am facing. I feel like my husband's put up an

emotional/mental brick wall and I slammed into it @ 90 mph when he said what he said

about his lack of willingness to use protection during this phase in our lives where

we're barely able to support ourselves. I've never been very adept at spotting 'red flags'

in my personal relationships ... but this one just makes me a little sick inside.

Getting the pill hasn't been easy the past few years. I need to keep my blood pressure in

check with beta blockers and I'm 36. I'm a pretty highstrung woman and I could stand to lose

a few pounds and doctor's are wary of letting me use them anymore.

But his disregard towards my reprodutive wishes just leaves an emotional rock sitting in

my stomach that I'm unable to digest.

Do not blame yourself, hubby is a master manipulator. Staying with him is not an option and his DISRESPECTFUL attitude towards your shows you what he really thinks of you. If he loved you he wouls HONOUR your wishes, especially since you are being realistic about the situation. We are all pulling for you, you have already made great strides towards getting away from the creep. The housing situation is tough but you have come to the realization that you must dump him and that should be the first order of business. You have started down the road to freedom and your deserve the commendation for that!!!! No matter what, you will always find support here.