How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area?

[Psoas10 17]

My wife has some family here on Kauai, and a lot of distant relatives in Ewa Beach on Oahu. We have the baliktad problem here. We have no white friends, and most of our friends are Filipino. But when half the Island is Filipino, well it is hard not too have mostly Filipino friends. But I do see many yabang Filipinos here too. So I think it just helps to have friends. Even for me, was nice to meet people from Hawaii, when I was in the Mainland. Yet I had mostly Haole friends in the Mainland.

[adiiann 163]

i've heard this in a facebook game group i belong to. what exactly is it?

It is a Philippine idiomatic expression pertaining to a Filipino attitude that characterize by the nature of crabs. When you put crabs in the bucket, they will start to crawl up to get out of the bucket but before they're be able to successfully get out of the bucket, other crabs pulling them down. This nature is common in Filipino culture but maybe existing in other cultures too. Somehow, there are Filipinos that are not happy to see the Filipinos they know becoming successful, and sometimes they do nasty things to pull them down.

Anyway, really nice to hear different insights from you guys. Now, I don't feel different or feeling arrogant as I don't want to join Filipino organization here in my area, just to have Filipino friends. Same as other's experience, I feel like some Filipinos will take advantage on us, for asking favor all the time. I help when I can and I believe in sharing blessings, but I hate when people taking advantage.

[Hank_ 9,174]

I think that "crab" mentality is universal not just Filipinos do that.

[adiiann 163]

I think that "crab" mentality is universal not just Filipinos do that.

True. But I guess, it was more associated with Filipino culture because this is really one of the common traits.

[rheanick 42]

I am in Arizona too and we've never met so I guess we're on the same plight

To the OP - I befriend anybody but definitely not needy to join fellowships and other functions just to have Filipino friends. I'm not snub but mostly timid. I appreciate the invites but I don't know why I don't really look forward to attending those. Besides far, I have been to a few get together and me and my husband realize we just don't belong to "their group" so we instead enjoy our time together or hang out with few selected buddies and do something interesting other than talking about other people

Hi Binow...

Yup. we could be in the same plight.

I still have faith in the filipino culture. Still hope to find filipinos who are not chismosa and inggitera.

[LeonoraRivera 0]

I understand I grew up here was born in Mamila but my experience is that Filipinos are treacherous, I had one so called friend in school and she and her mom spread rumors about me always tried to sabotage our parties by calling while my mom was cooking, it’s a shame but they are not grateful for their good fortune it’s like they want to be the only ones who are happy, I wish we could say I’ve had a good experience with them but so far no

[LeonoraRivera 0]

Envy and competition everything is a competition for them, even when my mom died many of th criticized me and told me I should have brought her to a different hospital so she would not die imagine that and they say they are Catholics they think they are God such a pity

[LeonoraRivera 0]

I think the reason for our epidemic crab mentality is because we as a people have not matured beyond an adolescent attitude we are materialistic and judgmental and as the country is poor there is a lack of balance; other cultures are not perfect of course but there is a balance between the ignorant and intellectual the rich and poor Philippines has yet to acquire that equilibrium because we are an oligarchy 

[LeonoraRivera 0]

It’s not just so-called friends unfortunately; relatives can be crabby too. Sorry to say that despite all attempts to extend the olive branch many cousins just call when they need something and they live just an hour away, I don’t mind if they don’t like me but at least show respect for my 85 year old Dad, they talk about Filipino values and make fun of me for being American but this is not fair, I grew up with solid principles and I know how to respect elders just because they grew up there does not make them superior actions speak louder than words and I’ve yet to see some solid action

[LeonoraRivera 0]

On 5/21/2012 at 10:35 PM, ShawnKJuliet said:

same here

Agree, I don’t know why they have to put up this facade just be natural, really after my mom died I realised that life is short all this show off nonsense means nothing we need to be kind and follow our dreams respect Gods plan for each person respect the feelings of others

[LeonoraRivera 0]

On 5/22/2012 at 1:20 AM, JoBri said:

My wife has a couple Filipino friends. She doesnt stay in close contact with them anymore. She mentioned just this week about a co-worker of hers who is an American caucasian...her son is getting married to a Filipino soon and bringing her here on a K-1 visa. I told my wife that will be fun for her, that she will get to meet her and maybe be friends. My wife responded that it isnt exciting to her, that she doesnt care to meet others from the Philippines anymore. She thinks of herself as an American, and she said she is already used to being here and living the life of an American, and someone from the Philippines isnt so special to her anymore.

Thanks for your honesty as an American citizen I am happy to meet anybody nice not just from the Philippines, I get ridiculed for this but it’s very difficult for me to feel sentimental about a country I never knew and really I’ve had bad experiences with Filipinos and their envy I’m proud of my culture but am tired of being told how to feel what to feel and yes many Filipinos are controlling and impose their narrow ways on others

[Ontarkie 14,226]

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