Plans For The Very Distant Future (I Hope)

[rocks 494]

Have you considered cremation? If that is a possibility it would solve the problem. Besides it is more economical and environmentally sound. The reason I bring up cremation is because it will be upon your children or family to deal with all the paperwork and bureaucracy involved in transporting human remains across borders if you opt for a burial.

Not to mention you would have to buy a plot before you die! Your children are not going to do that for you as was expected by someone in my family.

Cremation is definitely more environmentally sound and easier for everyone all round. You can be taken anywhere you desire and there are no time constraints.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

What does your current husband think about you being buried with your first husband, and where will he be laid to rest? I'm not trying to pry, just curious of his thoughts. There are a lot of different scenarios that come into play with 2nd marriages and kids.

I knew somebody would ask and I don't have an exact answer. He's not offended like I chose the first over him. I was happily married 30+ years and would still be if cancer hadn't interrupted. He knew my former spouse because he and his visited our home on a few occasions. We were all acquainted before our lives took a unforeseen twist and we kinda did email support and sympathy for each other over our losses. A couple of years later we met up again as old friends, but now single people just for holiday. And the rest is history...

So if I die, I hope he remarries and finds another companion to share his life with. I would hate to imagine I would be still home alone grieving and didn't have this bonus life I got. That could factor into his plans. And he believes in cremation, something that's just not commom in my upbringing. I seriously don't know one person who was cremated. Maybe he wants his ashes scattered in Texas which he truly calls home. Maybe his grown UK children or his siblings would be pleased to bring his ashes back to England. We just don't know yet because we can't predict the future. I know one thing, if he goes first, there won't be any urn on my mantle like a shrine. My beautiful memories are all I need. We are seriously so happy and I have never felt so loved by anybody.

[rocks 494]

I knew somebody would ask and I don't have an exact answer. He's not offended like I chose the first over him. I was happily married 30+ years and would still be if cancer hadn't interrupted. He knew my former spouse because he and his visited our home on a few occasions. We were all acquainted before our lives took a unforeseen twist and we kinda did email support and sympathy for each other over our losses. A couple of years later we met up again as old friends, but now single people just for holiday. And the rest is history...

So if I die, I hope he remarries and finds another companion to share his life with. I would hate to imagine I would be still home alone grieving and didn't have this bonus life I got. That could factor into his plans. And he believes in cremation, something that's just not commom in my upbringing. I seriously don't know one person who was cremated. Maybe he wants his ashes scattered in Texas which he truly calls home. Maybe his grown UK children or his siblings would be pleased to bring his ashes back to England. We just don't know yet because we can't predict the future. I know one thing, if he goes first, there won't be any urn on my mantle like a shrine. My beautiful memories are all I need. We are seriously so happy and I have never felt so loved by anybody.

One of the plus points to the ashes would be you could sprinkle some there at an appropriate place and the rest could be sent back to England, if that's what the family wanted. I think my grandmother was sprinkled in 3 different places. We have some ashes that we need to deal with, for the time being they are definitely not sitting out on display! I never understood why people would want to keep them for all to see, aren't the memories in our heads all we need?

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I never understood why people would want to keep them for all to see, aren't the memories in our heads all we need?

People are all so different in their beliefs and feelings. My husband's mum still goes to the local churchyard where her husband's ashes are buried each year on his birthday (I think. Or maybe the date he died.) My husband has never been. We once went together to Tenby where the family purchased a park bench overlooking the seaside inscribed: In Memory of _____. That was where the family spent many summer holidays. We sat on the bench and he told me great Tenby stories about his childhood and his Dad. We shed a few tears, then laughed a lot. That's his preferred way of remembering his Dad.

[rocks 494]

People are all so different in their beliefs and feelings. My husband's mum still goes to the local churchyard where her husband's ashes are buried each year on his birthday (I think. Or maybe the date he died.) My husband has never been. We once went together to Tenby where the family purchased a park bench overlooking the seaside inscribed: In Memory of _____. That was where the family spent many summer holidays. We sat on the bench and he told me great Tenby stories about his childhood and his Dad. We shed a few tears, then laughed a lot. That's his preferred way of remembering his Dad.

Ah Tenby, what a beautiful place. I would much rather be there reminiscing than at a graveyard, I understand what you are saying though.