Cautious with Questions

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Bless your heart, Beauty - you know I only wish you love, happiness, comfort and peace. Your sense of humor has been one of your greatest strengths to draw on to keep going... never lose it

I will take you up on that when I have to file divorce with missing spouse..

I cry a lot...but honestly, I have some fun things to look foward to.. I miss and love him but I miss and love ice cream and since I stopped eating it in march, I have lost 29 pounds...Not everything you love is good for you...unfortunately LOL

Edited May 24, 2012 by Beauty for Ashes

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I will take you up on that when I have to file divorce with missing spouse..

I cry a lot...but honestly, I have some fun things to look foward to.. I miss and love him but I miss and love ice cream and since I stopped eating it in march, I have lost 29 pounds...Not everything you love is good for you...unfortunately LOL

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

I will take you up on that when I have to file divorce with missing spouse..

I cry a lot...but honestly, I have some fun things to look foward to.. I miss and love him but I miss and love ice cream and since I stopped eating it in march, I have lost 29 pounds...Not everything you love is good for you...unfortunately LOL

My great-grandmother was in a bad situation with her husband (who was known as "Sporty Bill" - that says it all right there.) He abandoned her shortly after the birth of their only child, my grandmother, and took up with the town floozy. He was a drinker and a gambler, and consorted with all sorts of people of ill-repute.

She stayed married to him for the next 40 years, although she had no longer had anything to do with him, because at that time in her community it was considered a great shame to be divorced (sadly, an even bigger shame to her than his behavior.) He drank up or gambled away every cent she didn't hide from him.

Then, her parents died and she inherited their farm. This was not community property of course while she was alive, but if she had died while still married to him, he would have gotten half of it as he was still her legal spouse. So at that point, to protect her own daughter's inheritance, she had to bite the bullet and become a divorced woman. She never got over it.

In his old and feeble years, Sport would come my grandmother's (his daughter's) house, trying to cadge money for drinks on the pretext of "meeting his grandchildren." They didn't want him anywhere near their kids or house. So she and my grandfather eventually worked out a deal to pay him a set amount of cash every month - it was about enough to stay drunk - and he would stay away from them. And that was how it ended.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

My great-grandmother was in a bad situation with her husband (who was known as "Sporty Bill" - that says it all right there.) He abandoned her shortly after the birth of their only child, my grandmother, and took up with the town floozy. He was a drinker and a gambler, and consorted with all sorts of people of ill-repute.

She stayed married to him for the next 40 years, although she had no longer had anything to do with him, because at that time in her community it was considered a great shame to be divorced (sadly, an even bigger shame to her than his behavior.) He drank up or gambled away every cent she didn't hide from him.

Then, her parents died and she inherited their farm. This was not community property of course while she was alive, but if she had died while still married to him, he would have gotten half of it as he was still her legal spouse. So at that point, to protect her own daughter's inheritance, she had to bite the bullet and become a divorced woman. She never got over it.

In his old and feeble years, Sport would come my grandmother's (his daughter's) house, trying to cadge money for drinks on the pretext of "meeting his grandchildren." They didn't want him anywhere near their kids or house. So she and my grandfather eventually worked out a deal to pay him a set amount of cash every month - it was about enough to stay drunk - and he would stay away from them. And that was how it ended.

for your grandma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQKam4Ox6h0&feature=fvsr

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

for your grandma

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQKam4Ox6h0&feature=fvsr

Thanks... they're all dead and gone now.

But despite having a jerk for a dad who she really never knew very well, Grandma grew up to be a very strong and capable woman (even went to college) and she found herself a good husband. He was just a poor farmer boy with an 8th grade education, from back in the hills on a hard-scrabble farm with 9 brothers and sisters who were all worthless. But she had seen hard times as well, and she saw what he was made of. They worked very hard but also very happily together, and they raised a family, and they were deeply in love their entire lives. When my grandfather passed away, his shoes remained under the bed and his coat remained on the hook behind the kitchen door for the next 11 years, until she went to join him.

May you and your daughter and all your children rise from the ashes and soar

- MK

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Thanks... they're all dead and gone now.

But despite having a jerk for a dad who she really never knew very well, Grandma grew up to be a very strong and capable woman (even went to college) and she found herself a good husband. He was just a poor farmer boy with an 8th grade education, from back in the hills on a hard-scrabble farm with 9 brothers and sisters who were all worthless. But she had seen hard times as well, and she saw what he was made of. They worked very hard but also very happily together, and they raised a family, and they were deeply in love their entire lives. When my grandfather passed away, his shoes remained under the bed and his coat remained on the hook behind the kitchen door for the next 11 years, until she went to join him.

May you and your daughter and all your children rise from the ashes and soar

- MK

so there was another chapter in her life...makes one very hopeful.. was sporty bill ever remorseful?

so there was another chapter in her life...makes one very hopeful.. was sporty bill ever remorseful?

oh sporty bill was great grandpa..ok got it

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

so there was another chapter in her life...makes one very hopeful.. was sporty bill ever remorseful?

oh sporty bill was great grandpa..ok got it

Sport was not a great grandpa, and he was never permitted to interact with his grandchildren. (Remember Sport was my great-grandfather; it's his son-in-law - my grandfather - who was the great man.)

I dunno that Sport was ever remorseful. He drew his last breaths alone, in his rented room over the tavern. But he was buried in the family plot - planted next to my great-grandmother (who died a couple years before him.) Even then, appearances still mattered.