Sex lives of married Egyptians laid bare - news article

[Mithra 1,185]

So I found this news article and thought it was pretty interesting. It's two years old but still very relevant, I think. I know sex is a tricky subject and many on the forum hesitate to discuss it but I think it's also an important subject.

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-12-15/world/egypt.sex.film_1_egyptian-man-intimate-matters-private-lives?_s=PM%3AWORLD

I thought it was interesting that Dr. Kotb estimates that 80% of the divorces in Egypt are due to sex issues.

I know the article is about Egypt but I'm thinking most of MENA has the same issues with sex.

Edited May 20, 2012 by Mithra

[NY_BX 397]

So I found this news article and thought it was pretty interesting. It's two years old but still very relevant, I think. I know sex is a tricky subject and many on the forum hesitate to discuss it but I think it's also an important subject.

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-12-15/world/egypt.sex.film_1_egyptian-man-intimate-matters-private-lives?_s=PM%3AWORLD

I thought it was interesting that Dr. Kotb estimates that 80% of the divorces in Egypt are due to sex issues.

I know the article is about Egypt but I'm thinking most of MENA has the same issues with sex.

Interesting, thank you.

I remember when visiting my now husband in Egypt I met a handful of his friends at a café. The subject matter came out and virtually everyone was embarrassed to even mention the word "sexuality" in front of me. So, I took the initiative to provoke an adult conversation. None of them knew about female orgasms.

Here, the #1 cause for divorce are finances. But I wouldn't doubt sexuality- and infidelity due to it- is the greatest fear.

[Mithra 1,185]

My husband agrees that stress due to finances is probably the main reason for divorce in Egypt. He also believes that many couples go into marriage with almost a fantasy of what marriage is about and when they discover it's not what they imagine that often leads to a breakdown of the marriage. He said that a large number of men go into marriage thinking their wife will basically take over where their mom left off meaning catering to them, babying them, etc. He believes that a large number of women think that marriage will give them more freedom and often they marry to "escape" their father's home. They end up finding out that they've gone from one father to another, so to speak. We discussed this article last night and my husband thinks the 80% the doctor estimates is pretty high. He said basically the same thing as the one conducting the survey - most Egyptians aren't going to discuss their sex lives freely or candidly.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

"laid bare"

Teehee naughty headline writer

[NY_BX 397]

My husband agrees that stress due to finances is probably the main reason for divorce in Egypt. He also believes that many couples go into marriage with almost a fantasy of what marriage is about and when they discover it's not what they imagine that often leads to a breakdown of the marriage. He said that a large number of men go into marriage thinking their wife will basically take over where their mom left off meaning catering to them, babying them, etc. He believes that a large number of women think that marriage will give them more freedom and often they marry to "escape" their father's home. They end up finding out that they've gone from one father to another, so to speak. We discussed this article last night and my husband thinks the 80% the doctor estimates is pretty high. He said basically the same thing as the one conducting the survey - most Egyptians aren't going to discuss their sex lives freely or candidly.

I absolutely agree. My now husband has candidly and jokingly said "if my friends know what I'm doing they'll laugh at me." We are the total reversal of traditional roles. He cooks, cleans, irons and folds laundry. He said he never had to do that at home until his father died. I think that's key! Once his father passed, he had to help his mom, given his sister was already married with 2 children. Funny thing is, he loves the kitchen! He really enjoys being creative- as he says- with his cooking.

Another issue you bring up is marital expectations. That happens here too. Youngsters marry for those reasons, or worse, due to unexpected pregnancies. And damn! There you go. I am happy I waited this "long" to marry; I'm 36. All of my friends, except for 2 are divorced.

[momof1 205]

My best friend, US born egyptian, talks a lot about this subject. She's of the opinion that arab men are selfish in bed. She says that unless you lay out ypur expectations from the very beginning thrn you'll have an unsatisfying sex life forever. My opinion is that men have to condition themself to be giving. That means that foreplay is a must and that you need last longer unless there are medical issues...even then you should see s doctor. Women have to be held accountable toO. If you don't tell your man what you like and need or always encourage him to "just finish"then he has no reason to do anything different. I can't imagine anyone wanting to have sex with a "deadfish" but I guess something is better than nothing.

Edited May 20, 2012 by momof1

[NY_BX 397]

My best friend, US born egyptian, talks a lot about this subject. She's of the opinion that arab men are selfish in bed. She says that unless you lay out ypur expectations from the very beginning thrn you'll have an unsatisfying sex life forever. My opinion is that men have to condition themself to be giving. That means that foreplay is a must and that you need last longer unless there are medical issues...even then you should see s doctor. Women have to be held accountable toO. If you don't tell your man what you like and need or always encourage him to "just finish"then he has no reason to do anything different. I can't imagine anyone wanting to have sex with a "deadfish" but I guess something is better than nothing.

You said it!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

Well.... not all Arab men are selfish in bed

In my humble opinion most Arab men (at least those under 45 or so) actually would like to please their wife sexually. But they may not know how, or even if they're doing something wrong.

Too many Arab men get most of their understanding of the sex act from porn movies. Of course those movies aren't about pleasing women at all. However, uninformed and inexperienced men don't realize that - since porn actresses are always instantly ready for action, and then inevitably scream and moan about how robotic jackhammering is the most enjoyable thing ever.

I think ignorance and inexperience are the main issues, not selfishness. So couples have to communicate. And practice, practice, practice !

[Mithra 1,185]

Agreed on all accounts.

My husband (during our conversation about this article) said that, in his opinion, the main reason Egyptian men want a virgin is because that way their performance can't be compared to another man in the mind of their wife. She doesn't know if his performance is poor. Obviously not all men think this way otherwise divorced gals like myself wouldnt have Egyptian husbands.

Well.... not all Arab men are selfish in bed

In my humble opinion most Arab men (at least those under 45 or so) actually would like to please their wife sexually. But they may not know how, or even if they're doing something wrong.

Too many Arab men get most of their understanding of the sex act from porn movies. Of course those movies aren't about pleasing women at all. However, uninformed and inexperienced men don't realize that - since porn actresses are always instantly ready for action, and then inevitably scream and moan about how robotic jackhammering is the most enjoyable thing ever.

I think ignorance and inexperience are the main issues, not selfishness. So couples have to communicate. And practice, practice, practice !

[Darnell 8,478]

tantric massage can be taught, in any language.

just saying..

[rade2rising 205]

hmmm interesting info

but darnell i disagree

you just can't teach an old dog new tricks

[Darnell 8,478]

give me the dog and 48 hours. then you decide.

[rade2rising 205]

hahaha, si man si

[nurse1967 287]

I agree that Egyptian men learn primarily about sex from porn movies and that sets them up for FAILURE. Also, the fact that they have an aversion to oral sex doesn't help matters either!

[Darnell 8,478]

anyone can learn tantric massage, though.

http://tantraecstasy.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-to-give-tantric-breast-massage.html

(link not safe for work or with children in the background)