Leaving Las Vegas, or Brooklyn or Miami

And_Sam · May 18, 2012

I wallowed in self pity for way too many years that I would like to admit. Then when I finally got to the point of not knowing what to do with myself, I got help and found out that nobody is going to care about me until I care about MYSELF.

Keep going to therapy and working on your self worth. The most important person in your life should be YOU.

Stay strong.

Ban Hammer · May 18, 2012

I've often said, "Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission," and the same goes for "torturing." - ann landers

stop giving him permission. it's time to flush that ####### and get your life back.

Beauty for Ashes · May 19, 2012

I meant to mention re: the Rihanna cover...

The original "You Don't Love Me" by Dawn Penn (from the 1960s) cannot be outdone. Even Penn's 90s remix was a smash hit - and it still trumps the Rihanna:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_LKYyXFFrU

Omg. I love this version. You are such comfort to me WOM.. You just dont know how much

I wallowed in self pity for way too many years that I would like to admit. Then when I finally got to the point of not knowing what to do with myself, I got help and found out that nobody is going to care about me until I care about MYSELF.

Keep going to therapy and working on your self worth. The most important person in your life should be YOU.

Stay strong.

thank you so so much..I appreciate your words of wisdom

Beauty for Ashes · May 19, 2012

I understand mourning the loss of the hopes and dreams you had for this marriage. I understand your continued mourning of your son. That will most likely never fully go away. Your husband is just not a good guy. He may be mentally ill and that may have a lot to do with some of his behavior but I really think he's just not a good guy at all. You've done your best and you've done all you can for him. He's a citizen now so you've finished the job you started. I know it hurts that you were used for papers but lots of women are so you're not alone there. You have to stop trying to be the good little wife you think he wants. It's not good enough for him, never was, never will be. It's devastating to know that the person you thought wanted you and wanted to make a life with you doesn't really want that at all. I know you know it. I know you're having a hard time letting go. There is nothing more you need to do for him. You owe him nothing. He is not a child so you don't have to take care of him. Change your locks, don't let him in your home anymore. You will never fully heal if you keep letting him back in and putting on the facade that you're still his dutiful wife. You want to move on so let yourself. I feel like you think what your doing is being the dutiful wife of a MENA guy. Not even MENA women put up with this nonsense from MENA guys. Forget about all you know about MENA ppl, this is not normal, Kat. You may have known tons of MENA ppl but believe me this behavior is not normal. A respectful MENA guy would never behave like he has. Ever. Keep reminding yourself - you owe him nothing. You did your part. You were the good wife you thought he wanted. You don't need to worry about his future happiness because honestly, this kind of person will NEVER be happy or satisfied. If he's not doing it to you, he'll do it to another woman. It's not you, it's him. Let him go and let him be someone else's problem. And don't worry about losing that link to your son -your son will always be yours. He'll always be in your heart. You don't have to stay connected to his father to maintain a connection with him.

Keep working on yourself to let go of him. It will help you move on and find the love that you desire.

Thank you and you have no idea how much comfort you have been to me Mood.

Thank you so very much for listening to me and letting me vent.. I am doing everything I can to better myself.. THANK YOU SO MUCH