Answering the question "When is your wedding?"

[VeeNDee 44]

A lot of friends and family keep asking us now that we are engaged when our wedding is. The standard answer is always, "When the paperwork is all done but many months away." Today I crossed the POE in southern BC to visit my fiance for the first time AS a fiancee. The border guard asked me more questions than normal one of which was, "When is your wedding?" Without thinking I replied 'when the paperwork is done' to which he just kind of looked at me kind of annoyed and waited, and I added "Probably sometime in 2013." Because of this he suddenly asked me more questions about my work than he had in the past. I wonder what they WANT to hear when they ask that question. Do they want a specific date and are they bothered when they don't get one? I am just wondering. Thankfully I was let through after that without trouble I am starting to really hate that question though!

[pat & angela 1]

Congratulations and the engagement and Good Luck on your journey

[JnJ13 13]

A lot of friends and family keep asking us now that we are engaged when our wedding is. The standard answer is always, "When the paperwork is all done but many months away." Today I crossed the POE in southern BC to visit my fiance for the first time AS a fiancee. The border guard asked me more questions than normal one of which was, "When is your wedding?" Without thinking I replied 'when the paperwork is done' to which he just kind of looked at me kind of annoyed and waited, and I added "Probably sometime in 2013." Because of this he suddenly asked me more questions about my work than he had in the past. I wonder what they WANT to hear when they ask that question. Do they want a specific date and are they bothered when they don't get one? I am just wondering. Thankfully I was let through after that without trouble I am starting to really hate that question though!

I had to laugh at this a little because my answer is whenever our paperwork is all done and people just look at me confused.

Where did you cross? I am going over on Tuesday. I don't think there's anything wrong with your answer. They just want to ask more about your work to make sure you aren't staying!

[Kimbear 53]

hehe i always said right after i get my visa. they dont realize you can't bloody plan anything yet or book anything or do ANYthing yet. Nothing wrong with your answer, you basically told him in a roundabout way thats your doing the leagal paperwork to get the visa which allows you to get married. to be honest, after a while i started saying "whenever your goverment lets me" LOL

[VeeNDee 44]

I had to laugh at this a little because my answer is whenever our paperwork is all done and people just look at me confused.

Where did you cross? I am going over on Tuesday. I don't think there's anything wrong with your answer. They just want to ask more about your work to make sure you aren't staying!

I crossed at the Blaine POE (Truck Crossing in Surrey). You're going over on Tuesday? Haha, I'm coming back Tuesday! I'll wave at you from the other side of the endless lineups

[chikings 27]

Greetings,

Yes i hate that question too.. Ok so I'm a little annoyed, hate is strong.. I am a frim believer what is meant for me is meant for me and I should be thankful not envious.. but lately..... hmmm....

I have two friends who are getting married and it is bitter sweet, all the planning they get to do because the actually get to plan around a date. I've seen some ridiculously loooong time lines and some real short ones.. Who's to know when my time will come. So at times I'm not as chipper as a "Bride to Be" should be..

So when am I'm getting married, the ask??? When the freaking paper work is done and visa is in hand!

Peace,

Chi

[EvilSquee 7]

That is the most infernal question in the world. If I had a dollar for every time that I've been asked we could have the most elaborate wedding Wisconsin has ever seen. I bowed to the pressure and set a date that seemed rather late but is looking increasingly like it will need to be changed anyways. Luckily I only booked a hall and the cake maker so far. The hall agreed to be flexible and change the date with no penalty if needed, the cake deposit was only $100 and I will be asking that vendor about being able to move the date as well now in case it's required. Don't give in to the pressure, your family and friends are excited and have good intentions but have no idea what a crazy process this is. As far as border crossing goes I've rarely been asked about the wedding date, mostly just that we're not getting married now. I respond much like you did, that we're at stage X of the process and waiting for the visa. Congrats on your engagement, hope your journey goes more quickly and smoothly than mine did!

[CANbirdUSman 11]

When is your wedding?

I like saying, "When the government tells me I can" .

Or the standard... "When the paperwork is done".

I'm going to vent a little here...

Some people REALLY don't get it. My fiance lives in Hawaii, (not complaining about the location)

I'm constantly hearing, 'Oh, well I'll need to know the date, so I can book time off" Really? YOU need to know the date?

Or this one, from acquaintances...'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. I'd love to go to your wedding." GEEZ!

Truthfully, my FAVORITE thing to say is the truth.

We don't have a date. We're just going to make it legal and have a ceremony another time.

My family and closest friends get it. Once we decided that was our plan, it has made everything SO easy.

That felt REALLY good to vent.

Great topic!!! lol

-ps- Honestly is always the right answer.

I've never crossed the boarder, since we've started the process.

He visits Canada me, from wherever he's working.

(Merchant Mariner, on a ship)

Edited May 18, 2012 by CANbirdUSman

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I hated the question too but I think its pretty normal for friends and family to ask because they want to plan and be ready for your big day - it's kind of like asking a pregnant mom when she's due. None of us ever knew how much stinking paperwork we'd be doing I can tell you 4 yrs later I have my citizenship and I've said adios to USCIS!

As for the border dude I don't think I was ever asked myself but 'when the paperwork is done or when I get my VISA' seem pretty solid to me. You could always burst into tears and make him feel bad for asking ;P

[dukeandduchess 141]

I always said "within 90 days of entering the US once I get my visa."

Yeah, the questions get tiring from friends and family, but they mean well. When it actually came time for us to get married people only got a month and a half notice and my whole family came. It made me feel super special

[Rattlehead 69]

*shrug*

"Whenever I get the visa approved...", usually with a dumb look if the person asking should know better