I opened my eyes!!!

[Darnell 8,478]

good one!

ya, I kept this really short, on purpose, as she doesn't need any help or other input with making decisions - it was very clear and to the point.

She's done, man, no need to futz about with other silliness. No Marriage? She's off the hook for any Affadavit of Support in the future, no need to futz about with further paperwork.

I have a huge distaste for cheaters. She done the right thing there, already already.

and I say - Good For Her...

Edited May 16, 2012 by Darnell

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I have a huge distaste for cheaters. She done the right thing there, already already.

and I say - Good For Her...

The right thing would have been to voice the months of relationship doubts she had BEFORE having him move. Yes, he was in the wrong for texting other women, but she was also in the wrong for letting him move without her voicing that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him in the first place. No innocent parties here, definitely nothing worthy of congratulating, IMO.

[L+T 71]

The right thing would have been to voice the months of relationship doubts she had BEFORE having him move. Yes, he was in the wrong for texting other women, but she was also in the wrong for letting him move without her voicing that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him in the first place. No innocent parties here, definitely nothing worthy of congratulating, IMO.

Why is he in the wrong for texting anyone? She had already dumped him...

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

ya, I kept this really short, on purpose, as she doesn't need any help or other input with making decisions - it was very clear and to the point.

She's done, man, no need to futz about with other silliness. No Marriage? She's off the hook for any Affadavit of Support in the future, no need to futz about with further paperwork.

I have a huge distaste for cheaters. She done the right thing there, already already.

and I say - Good For Her...

sigh... I hope you remember this brilliant logic so you can dispense it in the future...

"Halfway through the process and having doubts? No problem! Just smile and go along and pretend nothing is wrong.. When your future spouse gets here if you are not feeling the warm and fuzzies after a day or two tell them sorry, its over.. adios! then pat yourself on the back and brag to the world .. and hey that ex-future-spouse even may have had it coming!"

Yeah good for her I guess.. as long as she only dates deadbeats, dogs, mass murderers and the like she can continue with the princess logic and ends-justifies-the-means results. Would you really recommend this course of action to someone with the knowledge she had at the time? The behavior was reprehensible.

Edited May 16, 2012 by OnMyWayID

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Why is he in the wrong for texting anyone? She had already dumped him...

The OP said he had two girlfriends sexting him. It didn't sound like something that just randomly started after she dumped him.

[joevegas 67]

The OP said he had two girlfriends sexting him. It didn't sound like something that just randomly started after she dumped him.

The point is,she had no idea about the texting,until "after the three day trial period that she gave him."..To me it sounds like a lot of immaturity going on here on her part,and the dude is not so innocent either,he knew what he was doing,you don't just up and move and change your life unless your pretty sure things will have a pretty good chance of working out,he didn't care,he wanted to be in America,and she will hopefully next time not make the same mistake...

[Penny Lane 8,159]

The point is,she had no idea about the texting,until "after the three day trial period that she gave him."..To me it sounds like a lot of immaturity going on here on her part,and the dude is not so innocent either,he knew what he was doing,you don't just up and move and change your life unless your pretty sure things will have a pretty good chance of working out,he didn't care,he wanted to be in America,and she will hopefully next time not make the same mistake...

The K1 is not for "trial periods".

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

OnMyWayID: I know this COULD have been the case of someone uprooting, but it wasn't. And even if it was, how is it my fault that he turned out to be a dog? Am I to stay with him no matter what the circumstances just because he may have uprooted? He should have thought this thru before uprooting too, don't you think? He should have behave like a gentleman and honorable not like a hound dog.

He should have behaved like a gentleman and not like a hound dog because that would have worked out better for him?? Hmm .. lets say he posts bragging about the American that brought him over and his two other girlfriends and claims you had it coming for not acting with honor and dumping him after three days and that it was a good thing he had a back-up plan..

His logic would be exactly the same as yours...

[Darnell 8,478]

The right thing would have been to voice the months of relationship doubts she had BEFORE having him move. Yes, he was in the wrong for texting other women, but she was also in the wrong for letting him move without her voicing that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him in the first place. No innocent parties here, definitely nothing worthy of congratulating, IMO.

there's a turning point, a decision point, in every step of this process.

She made hers at the '3 days past POE' point.

as to 'IMO' , sorry - I'd like to take this opportunity to totally dis-regard your opinion, and crush it with my heel into dust. It doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter either - so I hope you can understand that the two of us (you and me) are on an equal playing field.

With that said, sh*t happens. Sometimes sh*tstorms ensue. She's diverted a huge sh*tstorm, and you have to give her props for that, regardless of where in the timeticks it occurred.

If you don't wish to acknowledge that, hey - no harm, no foul. Roll it off yer back, like water on a duck.

Or Not ..

Be well, and well rested...

Why is he in the wrong for texting anyone? She had already dumped him...

sexting ain't texting. just saying..

sigh... I hope you remember this brilliant logic so you can dispense it in the future...

"Halfway through the process and having doubts? No problem! Just smile and go along and pretend nothing is wrong.. When your future spouse gets here if you are not feeling the warm and fuzzies after a day or two tell them sorry, its over.. adios! then pat yourself on the back and brag to the world .. and hey that ex-future-spouse even may have had it coming!"

Yeah good for her I guess.. as long as she only dates deadbeats, dogs, mass murderers and the like she can continue with the princess logic and ends-justifies-the-means results. Would you really recommend this course of action to someone with the knowledge she had at the time? The behavior was reprehensible.

That's a lot of labels. Sometimes, one can't properly apply the labels till said beneficiary actually crosses past the POE. I'm a thinking the OP got clear on Day 3. What are your thoughts?

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

That's a lot of labels. Sometimes, one can't properly apply the labels till said beneficiary actually crosses past the POE. I'm a thinking the OP got clear on Day 3. What are your thoughts?

I know you were thinking that.. I was just going off what the poster actually wrote..

as far as my thoughts they should be pretty clear, I wasn't hiding them.

[Cathi 5,747]

the fact of the matter is she knew long before he got here she was having huge doubts. she didn;t tell him this until AFTER he got here. No one else gets a 'trial period" with our SO. She ever should have allowed him to come here EVER. I wish i had the opportunity to spend even one minute with my husband. She lied to him and to herself, and most likely to the CO because she would have had to prove that they had a "real" relationship.. This whole thing just annoys me to no end...grow up people....the rest of of suffer because of people who commit fraud..and this to me is fraud...

[Pinoylover 6]

I must be really old what the hell is sexting anyways?????????? I thought it was a misprint when she said that she caught him sexting and but meant to say texting! LOL

Edited May 17, 2012 by Pinoylover

[LeftCoastLady 441]

I must be really old what the hell is sexting anyways?????????? I thought it was a misprint when she said that she caught him sexting and but meant to say texting! LOL

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexting

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

The right thing would have been to voice the months of relationship doubts she had BEFORE having him move. Yes, he was in the wrong for texting other women, but she was also in the wrong for letting him move without her voicing that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him in the first place. No innocent parties here, definitely nothing worthy of congratulating, IMO.

Has anyone missed the point that he is Cuban? Now, he can return to that tropical island paradise if he wishes, but as a Cuban he can remain here, get a green card and citizenship in due tiime and does not need her so I fail to see where his life is ruined. He has the same opions here with or without marriage to her. I mean, it beats paddling 90 miles in shark infested water to get his feet dry on US soil.

I must be really old what the hell is sexting anyways?????????? I thought it was a misprint when she said that she caught him sexting and but meant to say texting! LOL

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Has anyone missed the point that he is Cuban? Now, he can return to that tropical island paradise if he wishes, but as a Cuban he can remain here, get a green card and citizenship in due tiime and does not need her so I fail to see where his life is ruined. He has the same opions here with or without marriage to her. I mean, it beats paddling 90 miles in shark infested water to get his feet dry on US soil.

I never said his life was ruined. I don't see anyone else saying it either. I said it's wrong to bring someone to another country to be with you if you're not sure you want to be with them. That's it.