going to pursue CR-1, live with him abroad (not in his home country). how will this affect the visa process

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Be sure to read the US embassy websites in both places about traveller warnings. Travel in 3rd world countries is not like travelling in LA. Not even Watts can prepare you for Nigeria.

[Adriene H 89]

Be sure to read the US embassy websites in both places about traveller warnings. Travel in 3rd world countries is not like travelling in LA. Not even Watts can prepare you for Nigeria.

There was another post that I read yesterday where poster mentioned

that the airport was closed in Nigeria for some reason

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

That is the one in Enugu not one of the 2 that accept international flights. It is just something Nigerians are used to, things falling apart. They are an exellent example on why monitoring of contracts is a good thing. So much money is pocketed during any contract that many times the work barely gets started let alone completed.

[Darnell 8,479]

He can easy get there with no visa which is good for a couple of months ( like VWP entry here ) many overstay and try the classic Nigerian method of spreading cash to overcome their issues. He is probably in an overstay and it isn't going to fix itself. He will end up interviewing in Nigeria.

ah. sideways edge of an existence.

Got it.

Needing nice girlie in USA, and nice girlie to UNDERSTAND him as well.

I hate the hunting of Mugu. grrr

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

ah. sideways edge of an existence.

Got it.

Needing nice girlie in USA, and nice girlie to UNDERSTAND him as well.

I hate the hunting of Mugu. grrr

It is probably a lot of that, many times people see rules are things that can be in general ignored and worried about when caught and that thing that make the path easier are a gift from above to ease the path , but only as a tool. I have seen things immigration wise in the community that makes you just shake your head. Cousins serial marrying a single woman to get status. One couple that divorced and married separate USC's got their papers, divorced the USC's and remarried. To many the USC is a welcome mat , to be tossed as soon as possible.

[study_up 1]

Hello. I'm Sarah, I live in Virginia, United States. I'm 20, currently live with my parents, and am unemployed.

My boyfriend, Mike, is from Lagos, Nigeria, but he currently lives in Pretoria, South Africa. He's 26, and he's working on getting his work permit.

We have been dating online for 10 months now, and we're planning to meet for the first time in August, in SA, then fly up to Nigeria to get married. After we get married, I will file for a CR-1. I wanted then to live with Mike in SA until the visa goes through. How will my living abroad change things? Am I better off just spending a few months with my husband so I can come home and set things up here?

Ok now, some proof I've thought things through:

I checked out travelers' insurance. "MAGELLAN". The best package covers medical expenses, emergencies, return plane fare for a family member to visit if you're in the hospital, emergency repatriation, document translation ... it looks like a really good deal. I'll go over it with my dad to see what he thinks.

Living together would be good proof of the legitimacy of our relationship. He could add my name to his bank account. And when I got back to the States, I could add his name to my bank account. Then rent an apartment. (Living with my parents after I'm married wouldn't look good to immigration there's no room in the house for one more person)

Well maybe I just answered my own question... but I'm posting this anyway, in case someone has some advice to share.

I did this--lived in South Africa with my husband who was from another African country (his case, Zimbabwe). A few things--I would actually suggest you get legally married in SA and file through JO'burg as the embassy there is much better than Lagos.

Second living in SA is not easy, particularly jo'burg. go with eyes open! Not sure if you are an interracial couple, but SA is similar to the US south in 1965 on that score. you will be denied service in restaurants, not really be allowed to associate with polite (read: racist) white company, and get stared at a lot. You are also not legally allowed to work in SA as a US citizen; you will be there on a visitors visa. Be sure to keep your own documentation up to date while you are there (you have to renew every three months.) you might consider enrolling in school--then you can have a year. Otherwise every three months you will be at home affairs wondering if you are going to have to leave; when they check you out they will check your bank account for sufficient funds and want to see that you have a ticket home. Another option is signing up to volunteer with an SA or international NGO--they can sponsor you for a longer visa. If you can find a way to make money online (eg editing papers? thats what I did--$1500k a month goes a long way if you have a place to live. Rent is expensive, gas is much more expensive than in USA. )

Finally, regardless of your race, you should be aware that Nigerians are very discriminated against and stigmatized in South Africa, as are African immigrants generally. There have even been recent pogroms against African immigrants. If you are a "foreign" woman of any race with a Nigerian guy, many will assume you are a druggy and a prostitute. Not that pleasant a way to travel through life--make sure you have a thick skin!!

Finally SA is very expensive--if you are going to move there, great but dont go totally dependent financially on a guy you have not met in person. You need to control your own money and your own documents (Eg passport) at all times! This is crucial. You also need to make sure these items are secure in case you are robbed (an unfortunately common experience in SA). If you can find the cash you might consider buying a used car when you get there--its possible to get around using taxis (privately operated mini busses--i did this for many months) but you have to learn a little zulu and it leaves you very much stranded at home for many hours of the day (taxis stop running after dark).

of all things health insurance is ok, but health care, even private health care there is relatively cheap compared to USA. id say spend the 2 grand on having a vehicle.

feel free to PM me if you have other questions about my experience.

[Boiler 46,083]

and file through JO'burg as the embassy there is much better than Lagos.

How?

PS The rest was very interesting and useful.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

How I met Mike... I'd gotten a "hey I like your profile, can we talk and see what happens? " facebook message from some guy. Well that wasn't ever going to work out. He asked me if I'd consider one of his facebook friends--Mike. I friended Mike,, asked questions, and decided to give him a chance.

Ummm... I get these messages ALL the time. They're scams... Why on earth would you friend someone who you don't know? As soon as you friended that person he had a chance to read through your wall and peoples posts to find out how to play you.

You state that he's posted pics of you and that people say "is she the one?" and "lucky guy". You read that as "the one you love". I read "the one you're scamming". You take "lucky guy" to mean he's a lucky guy to have found you cause you're attractive, I read it as he's a lucky guy that he's scammed an attractive person rather than someone less attractive, makes it easier on him.

Of course it could be totally innocent but I doubt it. No offence but I doubt he took one look at your pic and thought you were the most wonderful girl in the world, though he probably told you that's how he felt. You are a path to the US. That is all. Maybe you'll get a relationship out of it, for a small period at least, but I doubt it.

However you'll not listen to any of us and hey, you'll never know unless you try. At the very least find a NICE hotel to stay at when you go to visit him. Don't cheap out on it. It's too risky. Don't go anywhere after dark, stay in public places. Do NOT travel anywhere alone, and your mother counts as "alone" because she is another woman, she cannot protect you when she is also being attacked herself. And this also means do NOT be alone with him anywhere he recommends. Maybe at your hotel but nothing else. If you're meeting his mother in his home country, find somewhere NICE to stay, and public. Have her come to you and your mother somewhere public-ish, or even the hotel. Do NOT get in a car alone with him or his friends. He might find this offensive but you're a young woman who needs to protect yourself and if he likes you then he'll undertand that.

[Darnell 8,479]

well, i guess that last big convo she had with him (from earlier this month) wasn't that productive for HIM - she's not posted in a while.

Oh well.

Let's see what falls outta the woodwork, next, aye?

[patient2010 93]

[study_up 1]

The Catch 22 in all this is that if you don't spend significant time together in person, that makes your evidence of bona fide relationship pretty slim. If YOUR concern is for the parents to meet your fiancee before marriage, a failed K1 process won't accomplish that. Your chances of obtaining a visa for him are far greater if you live together for some significant time. If for you, that means marriage first, then great.

Why does HE want to take the K1 route?

For your residence together to be in SA instead of Nigeria, (big difference) obviously, you will BOTH need the appropriate visas.

"appropriate visas"..not really the USA is not especially concerned with your SA status, ether USC or petitioner. I am sure of this from experience.

[study_up 1]

As in, the South African equivalent of a permanent resident? I don't think so.

relevance?

[study_up 1]

South Africa has the highest reported incident of rape in the world.

While men are also subjected to sexual violence and 3.5% of men have

been forced to have sex with other men, the majority of sexual violence

is against women. The South African government reports that one of

these reasons is the culture of patriarchy in South Africa. Its report

states that patriarchy is firmly rooted in the country and fighting it

is seen as attempting to destroy African tradition or Afrikaner ideals.

The danger from rape and sexual assault is compounded because of the

prevalence of HIV/AIDS in South African townships. A woman being raped

over the age of 25 has a one in four chance that her attacker is HIV

positive and more women than men are affected from HIV/AIDS.

The perpetrators of rape in South Africa tend to be men known to the

victim. It is reported that a husband or boyfriend kills a woman every

six hours in South Africa. Many men and women say that rape cannot

occur in relationships; however, one in four women reported having been

abused by an intimate partner.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_violence_in_South_Africa#Rape_of_women

These statistics are mostly relevant to poor south african women not tourists. I work in social science research and your use of this study is not really the most appropriate here. She is not in grave danger of rape just by going to SA. I lived in SA for more than two years without being raped or sexually assaulted in anyway. Wish i could say the same about the previous three years in the USA!

[study_up 1]

How?

PS The rest was very interesting and useful.

Well, SA is not a high-fraud embassy, so while they'll probably still give a Nigerian petitioner a harder time there than they would an SA petitioner, not as much as in Lagos Also its just lower volume, meaning shorter waiting times etc

[study_up 1]

Ummm... I get these messages ALL the time. They're scams... Why on earth would you friend someone who you don't know? As soon as you friended that person he had a chance to read through your wall and peoples posts to find out how to play you.

You state that he's posted pics of you and that people say "is she the one?" and "lucky guy". You read that as "the one you love". I read "the one you're scamming". You take "lucky guy" to mean he's a lucky guy to have found you cause you're attractive, I read it as he's a lucky guy that he's scammed an attractive person rather than someone less attractive, makes it easier on him.

Of course it could be totally innocent but I doubt it. No offence but I doubt he took one look at your pic and thought you were the most wonderful girl in the world, though he probably told you that's how he felt. You are a path to the US. That is all. Maybe you'll get a relationship out of it, for a small period at least, but I doubt it.

However you'll not listen to any of us and hey, you'll never know unless you try. At the very least find a NICE hotel to stay at when you go to visit him. Don't cheap out on it. It's too risky. Don't go anywhere after dark, stay in public places. Do NOT travel anywhere alone, and your mother counts as "alone" because she is another woman, she cannot protect you when she is also being attacked herself. And this also means do NOT be alone with him anywhere he recommends. Maybe at your hotel but nothing else. If you're meeting his mother in his home country, find somewhere NICE to stay, and public. Have her come to you and your mother somewhere public-ish, or even the hotel. Do NOT get in a car alone with him or his friends. He might find this offensive but you're a young woman who needs to protect yourself and if he likes you then he'll undertand that.

Re: the nice hotel part--My husband agreed that she should get he ownlodging for the 1st trip. I'd actually suggest renting a "chalet" or furnished "granny flat" for a couple of reasons (one much cheaper--like per month cost is the same as two nights in a fancy hotel and there is usually facilities for cooking your own food) and 2 these are usually on the property of a local family who will get to know you and notice if you go missing and help you get to know the place through eyes other than your potential spouse. You can find listings for this on "gumtree" with sections for each major SA city I'd also be willing to point to some directions for the OP via PM if shes going to joburg or durban.