Is K-1 the best way for us?

[rayandmel 39]

But the govt, who makes the laws, has to also follow the laws right? Either you are married legally or not. If you are not legally married, they cannot legally say you are married, right?

I see where you are coming from, but in terms of immigration.... one person can make or break you. It is not always fair, but these officials don't get paid to be fair... 10 years ago, probably a different story, but this is the world we live in now.

There was a recent poster from Cali. His fiance spoke very little english and flew here after doing fine at her interview in her country. At the airport (POE) the immigration official asked her about her visa, she said the wrong term and called her fiance her husband. She also had a wedding band in her possession. They literally said right then and there that there was reason to believe she was already married, making her K1 void and sent her back to her country.... NO fighting it, no let me explain.... bye bye. That same day....

It was a really sad story. Bottom line, no one can tell you for sure that it will or will not go unnoticed. It is a risk, maybe small, but still a risk.... I empathize with your need to have both weddings... it is a though road when you love someone from another country. Good luck in your journey and your choices.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Here are my thoughts as I lived in Philippines and left my fiancee behind. I actually lived there two different times and started the K1 process one time prior to this with another woman.. I suggest just getting married in Korea and doing the paperwork here for K3 or the marriage Visa. If you are going to marry her in a year or so as you stated then I would suggest just getting married there as now I wish I had and just do K3 and wait for it if a bit longer than K1. It does not appear waiting is an issue with you so why not marry her now. Start Marriage visa here in USA when you are ready to bring her over. This way you have 100% control of timeline. You can watch the timelines on here and make sure you start the process so she is here when when it is fitting for your circumastance.

I wish I had just married there now has I did this all over again. I am just finishing my docs to send off 129F next week.

Good luck

[rayandmel 39]

BigBear may be on to something.

Could you do the wedding in Korea prior to you leaving, and have it be a legal wedding? You are going to be apart anyway. Why not legally get married, come to the states and start the paperwork for her spousal visa....

You would then not have any risk, she would be able to move here, have a greencard and start work right away. You can then have the second wedding once she is here in the states.

Edited May 13, 2012 by rayandmelissa

[C-ma'am 684]

Here are my thoughts as I lived in Philippines and left my fiancee behind. I actually lived there two different times and started the K1 process one time prior to this with another woman.. I suggest just getting married in Korea and doing the paperwork here for K3 or the marriage Visa. If you are going to marry her in a year or so as you stated then I would suggest just getting married there as now I wish I had and just do K3 and wait for it if a bit longer than K1. It does not appear waiting is an issue with you so why not marry her now. Start Marriage visa here in USA when you are ready to bring her over. This way you have 100% control of timeline. You can watch the timelines on here and make sure you start the process so she is here when when it is fitting for your circumastance.

I wish I had just married there now has I did this all over again. I am just finishing my docs to send off 129F next week.

Good luck

K 3 is an obsolete visa that's no longer processed by USCIS, they'll have to go with the CR 1 route.

[Dereklee003 2]

RayandMelissa and Bigbear -

Yeah thanks. That's a terrible story. It seems the whole process is way to subjective. IMO if you follow the laws/rules, you shouldn't have a problem. It's a broken system of the fate of one's marriage and happiness depends on one person's opinion, especially when they have limited knowledge of the situation.

Getting married now or even before I leave isn't an option in her mind. She has a very traditional Korean family, who expect the future son-in-law to be (Korean, but I can't change that) established in a good career, with a house ready to move into when we get married. Since she cares so much about her parents approval, I have to go along with it and go home and set up my career and home first before getting the ok from her parents.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I see where you are coming from, but in terms of immigration.... one person can make or break you. It is not always fair, but these officials don't get paid to be fair... 10 years ago, probably a different story, but this is the world we live in now.

There was a recent poster from Cali. His fiance spoke very little english and flew here after doing fine at her interview in her country. At the airport (POE) the immigration official asked her about her visa, she said the wrong term and called her fiance her husband. She also had a wedding band in her possession. They literally said right then and there that there was reason to believe she was already married, making her K1 void and sent her back to her country.... NO fighting it, no let me explain.... bye bye. That same day....

It was a really sad story. Bottom line, no one can tell you for sure that it will or will not go unnoticed. It is a risk, maybe small, but still a risk.... I empathize with your need to have both weddings... it is a though road when you love someone from another country. Good luck in your journey and your choices.

Please don't take that story at face value. There is a lot else going on there, and your summation, what collective VJ was able to surmise, was not the whole story. That person had AP from a VWP country, which is just the tip of the iceberg.

To the OP - the process is not arbitrary, but there are rules. You are trying to have your cake and eat it too... you want to marry abroad with a visa that is designed for marriage in the US. You want to do this because you want your fiance here on your timeline, and immigration involves waits. You have limited choices, and if you choose one of them the process is straight forward, but you are trying to cobble together two processes. This board only promotes legal processes, so something that smells very similar to fraud/misuse of visa doesn't resonate well here. You say if you follow the rules, you shouldn't have a problem, and that is true... but you are trying to bend the rules pretty hard.

Edited May 13, 2012 by Harpa Timsah

[Darkmoonfaerie 19]

But the govt, who makes the laws, has to also follow the laws right? Either you are married legally or not. If you are not legally married, they cannot legally say you are married, right?

Problem is that you cannot prove you are not married. They have denied people on suspicion of marriage.

[Julie y Pat 67]

Dude, nobody wants to spend time far away from their spouse or fiancee. If you totally agree with me that it's the words you say that make you married, then both you and your fiancee will have to lie about it to the US gov. Is a lie of omission, but a lie nonetheless. Are you selfish enough to ask the person performing this non legal "ceremony" to lie about what took place if asked? The likelihood they would ever be asked is extremely low to nonexistent, but they would be lying if they said you were not married. Would you ask your fiancee's mother and father to deny their daughter was married before she left Korea if asked? To cover your bases and pull this off, you should take these preparations. Even if you do this non legal/registered wedding after your fiancees interview, she will have POE to get through, hoping for a CBP agent who will expose her to a low risk of material representation. With a K1, you may or may not have interviews with USCIS for AOS and ROC. Would suck to have someone post a Happy Anniversary wish on FB for the wrong wedding date, and have that come up at one of the interviews.

Another poster suggested getting married before you leave Korea, and filing for a spousal visa. You had legitimate reasons for why that wasn't an option. But how about a legal civil wedding, and you and your fiancee make up your own words to say to each other, like a legal engagement ceremony, but a legal marriage under the eyes of the law allowing for the CR1 visa, which is the right one. Have a big ceremony for your wife's family when you renew your vows, only you and your wife will know they are not the same vows. Not sure how big of a secret you and your wife would have to keep from her family and for how many years, but you would always be able to tell the truth about it in an immigration related interview.

[LSnBigBear 61]

I think Derek is a bit confused and overwhelmed by the entire process. In reading his post it started off as him wanting to expedite which is an angle we all want if possible but legal. I think he is painfully aware now he appears to understand the word "fraud" now is what he would be doing if he tried this route. I think we need to have some sympathy towards the Korean way of marriage. I have a friend married to a Korean and WOW the hoops this man had to jump through to be accepted in her family makes our entire Visa Journey seem like a cakewalk. I would say from OP comment he needs to get back to USA, get re-established and then do the K1. There is nothing against going back and doing a religous ceremony as long as no papers are signed and they on either side of the water. As one mentioned just refer to it as an engagement ceremony and keep it to themselves. Korean's are smart and detailed. I would fear his future father in law standing over him with ink pen in hand to make sure they are married.. Be careful. Chances are you need to just get started in a career then petition her. time flies and true love will prevail over old mother time. Remember falsifying, lying or stretching the truth = lifetime ban... DOnt go that route bro.... Good luck

[Dereklee003 2]

Problem is that you cannot prove you are not married. They have denied people on suspicion of marriage.

Can't prove? All they have to do is contact the city hall in Seoul and check if my name and my gf's name are registered as married. If they are not, then legally we are not married. What am I missing here?

I'm so sick of people accusing me of fraud or cheating the system, I'm not at all! If the rule states LEGALLY MARRIED, than I will do whatever to obey that. If the rules state that any marriage gathering/ceremony/event resembling a wedding/marriage counts as married and therefore disqualifies me from getting the visa, obviously I won't do that. So which way is it?

For someone you don't even know its amazing how little credit or benefit of the doubt some of you give me. So quick to judge and accuse on the site.

[C-ma'am 684]

Can't prove? All they have to do is contact the city hall in Seoul and check if my name and my gf's name are registered as married. If they are not, then legally we are not married. What am I missing here?

I'm so sick of people accusing me of fraud or cheating the system, I'm not at all! If the rule states LEGALLY MARRIED, than I will do whatever to obey that. If the rules state that any marriage gathering/ceremony/event resembling a wedding/marriage counts as married and therefore disqualifies me from getting the visa, obviously I won't do that. So which way is it?

For someone you don't even know its amazing how little credit or benefit of the doubt some of you give me. So quick to judge and accuse on the site.

Derek, you are correct, the only thing they would have to do is contact the city hall in Seoul; however, that's exactly what they won't do. They won't go out of their way to see if you got married or not, they will assume whatever they feel like assuming.. one way or the other. In fact, even when they said they do, they don't even check their OWN records in the US............. so you do the math.

Maybe everything will go as you hoped, but you need to know that there's big chance it won't; and that's precisely the risk you need to be aware of.

I believe that, after many pages of replies, you were given (like them or not) a lot of good advise. There's nothing else to add. Now, you'll have to make a decision and define what's best for you.

Good luck with your journey

Edited May 13, 2012 by Celeste & C

[Julie y Pat 67]

but all a call to city hall does is show they don't have a record of a marriage. It does not prove a marriage has not taken place. there are no documents you can provide to prove you aren't married

[Dereklee003 2]

Derek, you are correct, the only thing they would have to do is contact the city hall in Seoul; however, that's exactly what they won't do. They won't go out of their way to see if you got married or not, they will assume whatever they feel like assuming.. one way or the other. In fact, even when they said they do, they don't even check their OWN records in the US............. so you do the math.

Maybe everything will go as you hoped, but you need to know that there's big chance it won't; and that's precisely the risk you need to be aware of.

I believe that, after many pages of replies, you were given (like them or not) a lot of good advise. There's nothing else to add. Now, you'll have to make a decision and define what's best for you.

Good luck with your journey

Thanks for the reply I'm sorry to come off as hostile but I guess I'm annoyed by both the people who treat me like a criminal on here and by the gov't who seems to have quite the arbitrary and broken system in place for all this visa stuff (IMO).

[Dereklee003 2]

but all a call to city hall does is show they don't have a record of a marriage. It does not prove a marriage has not taken place. there are no documents you can provide to prove you aren't married

Again, this goes back to the question of what does US Immi consider married. If they consider a legal marriage (recognized by a govt) to mean married, than yes, I am right. It would prove I am not legally married in this case.

But, if US Immi considers any event that looks and smells like a wedding to mean I am married, then you are right. It seems like this is what you are trying to convey.

From all the input I'm getting it seems like there is no clear or consistent answer as to which way is the rule. It seems like they make it up as they go and it depends on the thoughts and opinion of the Immi officer in charge, which IMO is ridiculous. If they made a clear cut law as to what "officially and legally married" is defined as, then there would be no gray areas and I wouldn't have to ask these questions.

[C-ma'am 684]

Thanks for the reply I'm sorry to come off as hostile but I guess I'm annoyed by both the people who treat me like a criminal on here and by the gov't who seems to have quite the arbitrary and broken system in place for all this visa stuff (IMO).

We are all very sensitive when it comes to the immigration subject. You would not believe the amount of people who come on this board asking for quick fixes... there is no such thing. We all are or have been away from our loved ones and it's a sensitive matter, especially because if it wasn't for all those who actually break the law, this process would be less expensive and much easier. It's also because of those who broke the laws or bent the rules, that the COs at the Embassies decide to assume before checking.

We know that everyone is innocent until proven otherwise.... well, for the COs it's usually the other way around. We are all guilty ...and you'll have the chance to prove otherwise ONLY if they let you.

THAT's why we all can come out of hostile towards you..................of course you'll defend yourself. Many people also go straight to the jugular..... that's not everyone's style though.

The VJ community is a great one, with a lot of knowledgeable people. We all speak based on our experience and the experience of others. We do things BY THE BOOK.

Edited May 13, 2012 by Celeste & C