May 2012 Filers

[sk8rpatty 17]

Hes done this before, and snapped out of it, but I don't think its going to happen this time. I'm trying to figure out a time when I have to just let go and move on. I'm stunned. and clearly venting here... again.

I never thought this would happen to us again.

I hope no one else has to endure what I'm going through now. best wishes to you all.

OH NO! Not again. How can he do this to you?? I am soo sorry. I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now. (((hugs))) He's done this before so maybe this is another temporary freak-out? I sure hope so, but dang, how can he put your through this.

Vent all you want, We're here for you.

[AnnaLouise 5]

I can't give up the habit of coming here at the moment. but in a split second decision, my fiance has called it off again, we've been stronger than ever, and so happy, hes been excited and counting down the days telling anyone who would listen about our plans, Friday he was making arrangements, switched his life insurance to me as the beneficiary, fixed up the car he has ready for me, called our marriage officiant about vows, photos and the certificate, completed forms with my name on them to come to Korea with him and talked at length with the administrator about his time in NZ and Australia, looked at booking our flights to Vegas and Chicago, talked to the guys at work about his plans told me that they were really happy for him, then I told him that I was worried that I might not be able to go to Korea with him, he said it was a slim chance and not to worry, it will work out.... and then Friday afternoon, he told me that he was too scared to get married, that I put the doubt in his mind and he wouldn't want to go to Korea and have a long distance relationship again, so he is calling it off. Hes barely spoken to me since, I've tried to suggest alternative options but hes not even prepared to talk to me.

Hes done this before, and snapped out of it, but I don't think its going to happen this time. I'm trying to figure out a time when I have to just let go and move on. I'm stunned. and clearly venting here... again.

I never thought this would happen to us again.

Oh my, Sweetdelish, I sorry to hear about this.

Sometimes, I think men can go into phases of fearing that they'll lose their independence and individuality. My guy, especially when we were just dating, harped on about never wanting to get married and that he didn't want any kids. Being upfront, he said that he didn't like how it seemed to remove the independence he had. Anyways, the point here is that I didn't take it personally, established what I wanted in life and said "you can stay or go, it's your choice". If I were in your position, I would just wing back. You haven't done anything wrong I'm sure. It's in his head and he has to figure it out. It's his choice at the end of the day and you can only let him know that you recognise that. Let the consequence of his indecisiveness be your understanding and then space. I would talk to him about how you see things in your relationship, what you'd hope would materialise for you together but also that although you want to go ahead with your plans(if thats what you want), you'd rather respect what he has to say and be with someone who doesn't want to get married. Maybe he'll stop thinking in man mode.

I hope no one else has to endure what I'm going through now. best wishes to you all.

[Kassil&Tierce 18]

I can't give up the habit of coming here at the moment. but in a split second decision, my fiance has called it off again, we've been stronger than ever, and so happy, hes been excited and counting down the days telling anyone who would listen about our plans, Friday he was making arrangements, switched his life insurance to me as the beneficiary, fixed up the car he has ready for me, called our marriage officiant about vows, photos and the certificate, completed forms with my name on them to come to Korea with him and talked at length with the administrator about his time in NZ and Australia, looked at booking our flights to Vegas and Chicago, talked to the guys at work about his plans told me that they were really happy for him, then I told him that I was worried that I might not be able to go to Korea with him, he said it was a slim chance and not to worry, it will work out.... and then Friday afternoon, he told me that he was too scared to get married, that I put the doubt in his mind and he wouldn't want to go to Korea and have a long distance relationship again, so he is calling it off. Hes barely spoken to me since, I've tried to suggest alternative options but hes not even prepared to talk to me.

Hes done this before, and snapped out of it, but I don't think its going to happen this time. I'm trying to figure out a time when I have to just let go and move on. I'm stunned. and clearly venting here... again.

I never thought this would happen to us again.

I hope no one else has to endure what I'm going through now. best wishes to you all.

A pity he doesn't live near where I am, I'd be happy to go smack some sense into him.

[AnnaLouise 5]

Oh my, Sweetdelish, I sorry to hear about this.

Sometimes, I think men can go into phases of fearing that they'll lose their independence and individuality. My guy, especially when we were just dating, harped on about never wanting to get married and that he didn't want any kids. Being upfront, he said that he didn't like how it seemed to remove the independence he had. Anyways, the point here is that I didn't take it personally, established what I wanted in life and said "you can stay or go, it's your choice". If I were in your position, I would just wing back. You haven't done anything wrong I'm sure. It's in his head and he has to figure it out. It's his choice at the end of the day and you can only let him know that you recognise that. Let the consequence of his indecisiveness be your understanding and then space. I would talk to him about how you see things in your relationship, what you'd hope would materialise for you together but also that although you want to go ahead with your plans(if thats what you want), you'd rather respect what he has to say then be with someone who doesn't want to get married. Maybe he'll stop thinking in man mode.

It's still kind of bad form, especially when you're so far apart. Once is understandable, twice deserves a smack alright.

[Pinkrlion 2,713]

I can't give up the habit of coming here at the moment. but in a split second decision, my fiance has called it off again, we've been stronger than ever, and so happy, hes been excited and counting down the days telling anyone who would listen about our plans, Friday he was making arrangements, switched his life insurance to me as the beneficiary, fixed up the car he has ready for me, called our marriage officiant about vows, photos and the certificate, completed forms with my name on them to come to Korea with him and talked at length with the administrator about his time in NZ and Australia, looked at booking our flights to Vegas and Chicago, talked to the guys at work about his plans told me that they were really happy for him, then I told him that I was worried that I might not be able to go to Korea with him, he said it was a slim chance and not to worry, it will work out.... and then Friday afternoon, he told me that he was too scared to get married, that I put the doubt in his mind and he wouldn't want to go to Korea and have a long distance relationship again, so he is calling it off. Hes barely spoken to me since, I've tried to suggest alternative options but hes not even prepared to talk to me.

Hes done this before, and snapped out of it, but I don't think its going to happen this time. I'm trying to figure out a time when I have to just let go and move on. I'm stunned. and clearly venting here... again.

I never thought this would happen to us again.

I hope no one else has to endure what I'm going through now. best wishes to you all.

I am speechless.

[SweetDelish 38]

OH NO! Not again. How can he do this to you?? I am soo sorry. I can't even imagine what you are feeling right now. (((hugs))) He's done this before so maybe this is another temporary freak-out? I sure hope so, but dang, how can he put your through this.

Vent all you want, We're here for you.

Thanks Patty, feels kinda #######, I hope its temporary, I sent him instructions on how to cancel everything, but he hasn't done anything yet. I just hope he needs a few days to calm down and see sense. he sent me some weird messages about one of the kittens, so it sounds like he wants to go back to chatting like we did, but is digging in his heels.

A pity he doesn't live near where I am, I'd be happy to go smack some sense into him.

ugh.. someone needs to, I'm hoping the guys in his office do it, they did last time he did this. and hes talked to them about me almost every day.

Oh my, Sweetdelish, I sorry to hear about this.

Sometimes, I think men can go into phases of fearing that they'll lose their independence and individuality. My guy, especially when we were just dating, harped on about never wanting to get married and that he didn't want any kids. Being upfront, he said that he didn't like how it seemed to remove the independence he had. Anyways, the point here is that I didn't take it personally, established what I wanted in life and said "you can stay or go, it's your choice". If I were in your position, I would just wing back. You haven't done anything wrong I'm sure. It's in his head and he has to figure it out. It's his choice at the end of the day and you can only let him know that you recognise that. Let the consequence of his indecisiveness be your understanding and then space. I would talk to him about how you see things in your relationship, what you'd hope would materialise for you together but also that although you want to go ahead with your plans(if thats what you want), you'd rather respect what he has to say then be with someone who doesn't want to get married. Maybe he'll stop thinking in man mode.

It's still kind of bad form, especially when you're so far apart. Once is understandable, twice deserves a smack alright.

thats good advice, when he calls me so far we haven't talked since Friday, if hes still being irrational and stubborn when he eventually calls, I'll do that. for now, I'm giving him total space to get his mind right and really be sure about what he wants to do.

I am speechless.

I know.. I'm devastated.

[Pinkrlion 2,713]

Thanks Patty, feels kinda #######, I hope its temporary, I sent him instructions on how to cancel everything, but he hasn't done anything yet. I just hope he needs a few days to calm down and see sense. he sent me some weird messages about one of the kittens, so it sounds like he wants to go back to chatting like we did, but is digging in his heels.

ugh.. someone needs to, I'm hoping the guys in his office do it, they did last time he did this. and hes talked to them about me almost every day.

thats good advice, when he calls me so far we haven't talked since Friday, if hes still being irrational and stubborn when he eventually calls, I'll do that. for now, I'm giving him total space to get his mind right and really be sure about what he wants to do.

I know.. I'm devastated.

You are quite capable of making hard decisions, I would have a long heart to heart conversation with him about your life together and what that looks like to him. If he has unknown fears about marriage, then there is something that is bothering him that he has not told you about. It could be referring to either a past relationship, or his parents relationship.

[SweetDelish 38]

You are quite capable of making hard decisions, I would have a long heart to heart conversation with him about your life together and what that looks like to him. If he has unknown fears about marriage, then there is something that is bothering him that he has not told you about. It could be referring to either a past relationship, or his parents relationship.

I know I can make the hard decisions, but not until I have all the information and a clear head. one thing I do know, is that what ever happens from here, I'll be ok. I know what is bothering him, it is about his last marriage, I've known for some time, its something we discussed a long time ago, and its not marriage that scares him so much, its divorce, and I know its not personal toward me. I'm giving him some space at the moment, and myself. He has messaged me a few times, but I need to just be alone with my thoughts about this. One of us needs to have a clear head and steady hand. I am talking to a relationship counselor, I thought a professional would be a good idea this time. lol. one thing I will be doing if we continue on, is suggest that we see someone together, I heard it once before, relationship counseling can be useful for couples before they have issues, and in this case, he needs to be de-traumatised from his previous marriage, and perhaps I could gain some knowledge how to talk him off a ledge (not the literal ledge)in the future. We'll see what happens over the next week. Thanks for the support. sorry to interrupt the happy thread... I swore I would never post about this stuff again.

[omer1 9]

what is required income for affidavit of suport?? we r 4 person...! including my 2 kids...! and i am a petitioner...!

[AnnaLouise 5]

Hard copy of the NOA2 came!!!! I'm gonna get my fiancé to give the nvc centre a call tomorrow. I figure that's what you do next after the noa2, right?

[sk8rpatty 17]

Hard copy of the NOA2 came!!!! I'm gonna get my fiancé to give the nvc centre a call tomorrow. I figure that's what you do next after the noa2, right?

Yes! Just be prepared to be on hold for awhile and ready for someone grumpy to answer. LOL They will verify your phone numbers and email addresses and then tell you if it has been sent to the Consulate/Embassy or not.

[SweetDelish 38]

what is required income for affidavit of suport?? we r 4 person...! including my 2 kids...! and i am a petitioner...!

2 things to help you out Omer, firstly is from here on out, your questions are going to be country specific, meaning that every country has their own requirements on how to proceed from here. I believe that Pakistan will fall into Middle East instead of South East, so check this regional portal, others from pakistan will be best equipped to answer your questions:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/forum/97-middle-east-and-north-africa/page__prune_day__100__sort_by__Z-A__sort_key__last_post__topicfilter__all

secondly, here is the link to the income levels, download the form to have a look: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=73c63591ec04d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=f15b6d26d17df110VgnVCM1000004718190aRCRD

lastly, while I'm redirecting you, remember you can come back here for moral support..

[AnnaLouise 5]

Ok, so we don't have to pay a fee right now? My fiance is getting his financial stuff together for the affadivit of support form. We're just trying to understand what is next.

[SweetDelish 38]

Ok, so we don't have to pay a fee right now? My fiance is getting his financial stuff together for the affadivit of support form. We're just trying to understand what is next.

AnnaLouise, it is actually country specific, for Australia, I paid the fee online after packet 4, but I have no idea what your region requires you to do.

[AnnaLouise 5]

Righteo. It'll be figured out I'm sure.